Oblivion GotY gets 9.5, not surprising

[JarlFrank]

Well, it's no surprise that the Game of the Year Edition of the game that is commonly accepted as best RPG <strong>EVAR</strong> <A HREF="http://www.dailygame.net/news/archives/006799.php">recieves a ton of praise again</A>, as it's basically the best game ever including all official mods and the expansion.

<blockquote>Aside from being the best multimedia experience ever created for a home audience, Oblivion: Game of the Year proves without a doubt that videogames can be art, and a very fine art at that.</blockquote>

I wonder why anyone has to review a GotY edition of a game that already has been reviewed in the past, but it seems they can't praise it enough.

<blockquote>Oblivion is the king of all open-world games, a fantasy role-playing experience unlike any other. In this editor's humble opinion, Oblivion is the best game ever made, bar none, and the Game of the Year Edition ups the ante even further. The core game of Oblivion, with all its random encounters, dungeons, quests and guild associations, provides more gameplay options than most complete holiday game lineups, and Knights of the Nine introduces yet another new faction.</blockquote>

And it seems the reviewers haven't learned, either. No mention of the glaring flaws, no real analysis of the game [where's the story and gameplay analysis? Did he play the game or just stare at the graphics?], just informing us that it's the best thing ever to reach his hard disk. There's no actual information about the game to be found in that review, though, not that I would have expected it to be there.
Spotted at: <A HREF="http://www.dailygame.net/news/archives/006799.php">dailygame.net</A>

 

[Jasede]

Oblivion: Game of the Year proves without a doubt that videogames can be [...] very fine art [...].

 

[Deleted member 7219]

Agreed. In all these reviews, they praise the graphics and the open-ended style of the game, and the multitude of quests, but never go into the storyline itself, the dumbed down skills, the limited number of voice actors, or the complete lack of choices and consequences.

Fail.

 

[Brother None]

 <A HREF="http://www.dailygame.net/news/archives/006799.php">recieves a ton of praise again<A>

Fix please.

Also:

For all others, however, there's really no excuse. Oblivion is more than a game; it's a fantasy-world experience unlike any other. Game of the Year? More like game of the decade. But hey, we didn't name this one; Bethesda did.

*slurp* *slurp* *slurp*

 

[DraQ]

Agreed. In all these reviews, they praise the graphics and the open-ended style of the game, and the multitude of quests, but never go into the storyline itself, the dumbed down skills, the limited number of voice actors, or the complete lack of choices and consequences.

Not to mention completely ruining suspension of disbelief with "hey, it's a hint!" dialogues and retarded scaling.

I could go on and on, but what really frightens me is the number of people thinking this PoS is actually any good.

 

[Deleted member 7219]

I forgot to mention the journal pop-ups and the quest compass, but yeah like you said the list goes and on, there's too many people out there who don't care and just like the graphics and the open-endedness of it all.

 

[DraQ]

I forgot to mention the journal pop-ups and the quest compass, but yeah like you said the list goes and on, there's too many people out there who don't care and just like the graphics and the open-endedness of it all.

Indeed.

I prefer to call the popups "mandatory walkthrough popups" though.

As for openendedness, there are many games out there that can kick the bloody crap out of oblivion in this aspect. Starting with two previous TES games and ending with the likes of Frontier.

Also, Fallout.

FO1 for nonlinearity and free exploration, FO2 for actual open ending.

 

[Hazelnut]

And it seems the reviewers haven't learned, either. No mention of the glaring flaws, no real analysis of the game [where's the story and gameplay analysis? Did he play the game or just stare at the graphics?], just informing us that it's the best thing ever to reach his hard disk.

Anyone else read that last bit as "hard dick" the first time, or was it just me?


The thing about the graphics I just don't get, it can't just be that... Gothic 3 looks just as good or better than Oblivion and that didn't get universal praise.

 

[JarlFrank]

Well, the hilarious and sad part of this review is not that he's simply overlooking the flaws. He doesn't talk about gameplay at all. He says that the game rocks, that it owns, that it's the best thing ever, but he doesn't fucking say why. It's the best game ever because it's awesome. No gameplay analysis, nothing!

 

[KazikluBey]

Just skimming through that blow job is enough for a year's worth of laughs but the moneyshot summary just takes the cake.

Just make sure you've got time to invest; Oblivion is NOT for the "five minutes here and there" type of player..

Is there a single game design decision that made it into this game that does not benefit people with 5-minute attention spans?

In-game walkthrough popups, quest compass, teleportation, levelscaling and the list goes on.

 

[Jasede]

Look Jarl, you don't have to play a game to write a review for it. Observe:

Oblivion

Oblivion is the latest epic RPG by Bethesda, of Morrowind fame. Already PC game of the year, it is not hard to see why: Bethesda adressed all the concerns the fans had with Morrowind. The game is more accesible, looks better and no longer will you be plagued having to search the countryside for hour just to find some quest object.

The graphics of this game can be summarised with one word: stunning. The cutting-edge technlogy ceates a believable, immersive world, filled with living and breathing NPCs thanks to the not always flawless Radiant AI.

Music is simply beautiful: Jeremy Soule is a neverending well of creative, yet epic and deep music that will stir you and truly make you feel as if you were an adventurer in Skyrim.

The gameplay is as it was in Morrowind, but this time around, you have a lot more choices and everything you want to do is easier. The non-sensical things like the cat-people and lizardmen being unable to use boots have been removed and the whole combat has thankfully been simplified. Ever complained in Morrowind that even though you can see your character hit the enemy, he takes no damage? No longer! Combat is now realistic, fast-paced and simply fun.

The game gives you unlimited freedom: you are free to play a guard, an assassin, a wise wizard... you can resume the fantastically written main-quest at any time. The game is so good and open-ended you may even forget about having to stop the impeding invasion of the Daedra! Two thumbs up!

Conclusion: Oblivion is what RPGs should truly be: encourage roleplaying, offer unlimited freedom and don't confuse the player with useless and complicated dice-rolls. Oblivion is the best RPG I have ever played, and even though I usually do not like RPGs, this one captured me and I couldn't put it down for 400 hours.

9.8/10

 

[Crolug]

Sweet Lord, have mercy. Has anybody ever spotted a decent review of Boredlivion on not-niche RPG gaming site?

 

[DraQ]

Look Jarl, you don't have to play a game to write a review for it. Observe:

Oblivion

Oblivion is the latest epic RPG by Bethesda, of Morrowind fame. Already PC game of the year, it is not hard to see why: Bethesda adressed all the concerns the fans had with Morrowind. The game is more accesible, looks better and no longer will you be plagued having to search the countryside for hour just to find some quest object.

The graphics of this game can be summarised with one word: stunning. The cutting-edge technlogy ceates a believable, immersive world, filled with living and breathing NPCs thanks to the not always flawless Radiant AI.

Music is simply beautiful: Jeremy Soule is a neverending well of creative, yet epic and deep music that will stir you and truly make you feel as if you were an adventurer in Skyrim.

The gameplay is as it was in Morrowind, but this time around, you have a lot more choices and everything you want to do is easier. The non-sensical things like the cat-people and lizardmen being unable to use boots have been removed and the whole combat has thankfully been simplified. Ever complained in Morrowind that even though you can see your character hit the enemy, he takes no damage? No longer! Combat is now realistic, fast-paced and simply fun.

The game gives you unlimited freedom: you are free to play a guard, an assassin, a wise wizard... you can resume the fantastically written main-quest at any time. The game is so good and open-ended you may even forget about having to stop the impeding invasion of the Daedra! Two thumbs up!

Conclusion: Oblivion is what RPGs should truly be: encourage roleplaying, offer unlimited freedom and don't confuse the player with useless and complicated dice-rolls. Oblivion is the best RPG I have ever played, and even though I usually do not like RPGs, this one captured me and I couldn't put it down for 400 hours.

9.8/10

Even though your emulation of typical reviewer's dumbfuckery is truly astounding, you have still allowed some sarcasm to slip in.

 

[fastpunk]

Did you write that yourself Jasede? Or was it taken from the endless resource that is the gamespot reviewers community?

 

[mlc82]

So... do you guys think mainstream game reviewers are really this stupid, or are they just paid off?

 

[Lumpy]

The game gives you unlimited freedom: you are free to play a guard, an assassin, a wise wizard...

... or a thief.

 

[Jasede]

Did you write that yourself Jasede? Or was it taken from the endless resource that is the gamespot reviewers community?

Myself in 3 minutes. Hey, I wanna be an actor once I got my math degree.

Hey, I should apply as a writer at some major review site. I mean, you can get by writing reviews without ever having needed to play the game, soo... easy money.

 

[JarlFrank]

Did you write that yourself Jasede? Or was it taken from the endless resource that is the gamespot reviewers community?

Myself in 3 minutes. Hey, I wanna be an actor once I got my math degree.

Hey, I should apply as a writer at some major review site. I mean, you can get by writing reviews without ever having needed to play the game, soo... easy money.

This could have passed for real. If you join a famous RPG site and review Fallout 3 Bethesda might give you a lot of money for it.

 

[Crolug]

So... do you guys think mainstream game reviewers are really this stupid, or are they just paid off?

Personally I think they're paid off but it's just me...

 

[Sovy Kurosei]

Needed mention of all the hours you could spend picking ingredients on the side of the road in Oblivion for your latest alchemy experiment.

 

[DraQ]

Did you write that yourself Jasede? Or was it taken from the endless resource that is the gamespot reviewers community?

Myself in 3 minutes.

I would feel... unclean.

 

[Cassidy]

 <A HREF="http://www.dailygame.net/news/archives/006799.php">recieves a ton of praise again<A>

Fix please.

Also:

For all others, however, there's really no excuse. Oblivion is more than a game; it's a fantasy-world experience unlike any other. Game of the Year? More like game of the decade. But hey, we didn't name this one; Bethesda did.

*slurp* *slurp* *slurp*

Honor to Porcu's word:

LGUHGLGHLUGHGLHGLUHGLUHGLUHGLUGHLUGHLUG

There is nothing better to describe this. In words rather than sound:

Game Journalism < 50 cents Truther Tabloid

Hey, I should apply as a writer at some major review site. I mean, you can get by writing reviews without ever having needed to play the game, soo... easy money.

I can't believe you can get so low, can you?

 

[Texas Red]

So... do you guys think mainstream game reviewers are really this stupid, or are they just paid off?

Reviews of Witcher proove it to be both.

 

[DraQ]

Hey, I should apply as a writer at some major review site. I mean, you can get by writing reviews without ever having needed to play the game, soo... easy money.

I can't believe you can get so low, can you?

I think that selling his ass would at least allow Jasede to preserve a shred of dignity.

 

[Black]

What the hell do you mean it's not surprising? I, for one, I'm surprised that they didn't give it 11/10 and a blowjob... not sure about the blowjob parth though