After
MercantileInterest baited me to play Civ2 multiplayer I decided to give it some lova love to brush up on my p. much non-existent skills.
It'd been like 15 years since I last played it somewhat seriously, so it was quite the nostalgia trip. I played Multiplayer Gold version which features psycho AI that hates your guts pretty much all the time. Ironically that only helps you when you play Republic/Democracy, as you can easily bait the saps into attacking you and circumvent any senate meddling. Anyway, I had a nice casual game as a 100% white American democracy:
Most of the game was a breeze, I kept to the Americas where I purged the Aztecs, Sioux and Germans (lol) to Manifest Destiny. Around the turn of the 20th century though the insulting tomfoolery of the Mongols and frickin (((Lenin))) made me want to annex Britain and mount a campaign for freedom in Siberia. Just as I was happily liberating my brethren and getting ready to win by space colonization every single civilization declared JIHAD on me. To make matters even worse, the uppity KANGZ of Egypt rush-built a shitty coon-craft with eight engines that would have arrived at Chiron two years before the glorious and fully snazzed-out American Space Ship David Duke. That was just too rich for my blood, so I launched a desperate intervention into the Heart of Darkness to stop this rabid jiggababoonery before it got out of hand:
Long story short, I pulled off a daring surprise landing and howitzer-raped Thebes, but da KANGZ moved their government. I kept sending in troops and air units to take out their capitals. During this phase my carrier took a frickin Tom Cruise missle to the crotch but still carried on like a bro, if I'd lost it and all its stealth bombers and missiles I doubt I could've stopped the semites from polluting Alpha Centauri with their shekelhoarding ways. I finally managed to take the last Egyptian provisionary capital and wreck their space program, and it all came down to a single fuckin oaf for hire rifleman scrub that I bought with a spy. This shit unit was the last man standing during my turn and I managed to send it forth to occupy Editu. Very intense moment!
With the KANGZ cut down to size I could focus on pushing back the mongol yoke and liberate some clay for Western Man and his honorary allies.
The Babyloonians and the Mongols both had shitty space programs as well, but their turdcrafts couldn't hope to rival the glorious golden baby.
And so it ended. All in all it was a very nice run. I didn't micromanage my cities properly because it's disgusting slog and I'm a filthy casual at heart.
