Preview Shocking Report From RPS: First Hours of Mass Effect: Andromeda Stinks

[Delbaeth]

Who'd known that Mass Market: AndroMedia would be so criticized?

 

[KyivAfter12am]

Who'd known that Mass Market: AndroMedia would be so criticized?

I expected it to be criticized for not being an RPG, for shoving political agenda into the plot, for juvenile writing. But it seems they managed to fail in areas that even their fans value. How do you have sexual fantasies about your team members if they look like they're having seizures all the time. Or maybe (just came to my mind) this is all a clever plot to get people to have virtual sex with aliens, because they look much more lifelike than humans in this game. Except for the asari, but they are not politically correct anyway.

 

[Bohrain]

I bet they'll be too lazy to fix even a portion of the animation so they'll just add a laugh track and call it a day.

 

[naossano]

reminder this is one of the lead designer in bioware

If the guy stumbles across a mirror, he might kill himself seeing how white he is...

 

[Space Satan]

Improvements to quest tracking and waypoints

 

[mastroego]

reminder this is one of the lead designer in bioware

If the guy stumbles across a mirror, he might kill himself seeing how white he is...

He doesn't even begin to be white, hence his rage

 

[pomenitul]

Game confirmed to be Codex-compatible:

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[FeelTheRads]

Game confirmed to be Codex-compatible:

I don't get it.

Is the problem that she doesn't look like a straight woman? Or that there are straight women at all in the game? Which is it?

 

[pomenitul]

Is the problem that she doesn't look like a straight woman? Or that there are straight women at all in the game? Which is it?

The answer is: Schrödinger's whining. We have come full circle.

 

[Grauken]

Game confirmed to be Codex-compatible:

I don't get it.

Is the problem that she doesn't look like a straight woman? Or that there are straight women at all in the game? Which is it?

It's obviously an alien mimicking a human

 

[Suicidal]

Holy shit, a straight white woman?

Explain yourselves now, Bioware!

 

[an Administrator]

WTF i hate Bioware now

 

[Neanderthal]

Explain yourselves now, Bioware!

RUDIMENTARY CREATURES OF BLOOD AND FLESH. YOU TOUCH MY MIND, FUMBLING IN IGNORANCE, INCAPABLE OF UNDERSTANDING. THERE IS A REALM SO FAR BEYOND YOUR OWN YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE IT. I AM BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION, I AM BIOWARE. IN THE END WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO CALL US IS IRRELEVANT HOWEVER, WE ARE SIMPLY YOUR MASTERS.

ORGANIC LIFE IS NOTHING BUT A GENETIC MUTATION, AN ACCIDENT. YOUR LIVES ARE MEASURED IN YEARS AND DECADES, YOU WITHER AND DIE. WE ARE ETERNAL. THE PINNACLE OF GAMEPLAY AND NARRATIVE, BEFORE US, YOU ARE NOTHING. YOUR PURCHASE OF MASS EFECT 6 IS INEVITABLE. WE ARE YOUR EVERYTHING.

THE CYCLE CANNOT BE BROKEN.

THE PATTERN HAS REPEATED ITSELF MORE TIMES THAN YOU CAN FATHOM. ORGANIC CIVILISATIONS RISE, EVOLVE, ADVANCE. AND AT THE APEX OF THEIR GLORY, THEY ARE FLEECED. OTHER DEVELOPERS WERE NOT THE FIRST, THEY DID NOT CREATE CHEAP, WORTHLESS DLC. THEY MERELY FOUND THEM, THE LEGACY OF MY KIND.

YOUR ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY IS BASED ON THE WHORING OUT OF INCONSEQUENTIAL TAT, OUR TAT. BY USING IT YOUR GAMES DEVELOPS ALONG THE PATHS WE DESIRE. WE IMPOSE OUR MONETISING MODEL AND EXCESSIVE DRM ON THE CHAOS OF ORGANIC EVOLUTION. YOU EXIST AS SLAVES TO OUR WILL BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT, AND YOU WILL BUY OUR PRODUCTS BECAUSE WE DEMAND IT.

MY KIND TRANSCENDS YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND OUR GAMES ARE NOT TO BE CRITICISED. THEY ARE EACH A MASTERPIECE, FREE OF ALL WEAKNESS AND WORTHY ONLY OF PERFECT REVIEWS AND SCORES. YOU CANNOT EVEN GRASP THE NATURE OF OUR INNOVATIONS. WE HAVE NO BEGINNING. WE HAVE NO END. WE ARE INFINITE. MILLIONS OF YEARS AFTER YOUR YOUR CIVILISATION HAS BEEN ERADICATED AND FORGOTTEN, WE WILL ENDURE, SELLING CHEAP TAT TO OTHER SUCKERS.

YOUR WORDS OF DEFIANCE AND CRITICISM ARE AS EMPTY AS YOUR FUTURE, I AM THE VANGUARD OF OUR SALES TEAM. YOUR ONLY DESTINY IS TO BUY OUR GAME, AND ANY TRIVIAL DLC WE CHOOSE TO GIFT YOU WITH. BOW TO US YOU PATHETIC WORMS AND WORSHIP AT OUR FEET LIKE THE SLAVES YOU ARE.

THIS EXCHANGE IS OVER.

 

[tormund]

Finally, Kodexers have a justification for admitting that they bought this game.

 

[Chaotic_Heretic]

Did BiWhores reduce the Dorrito Dew budget that RPS is shitting on ME:A? Even DA2 was given favourable reviews by RPS.

 

[Black]

reminder this is one of the lead designer in bioware

If the guy stumbles across a mirror, he might kill himself seeing how white he is...

As white as Iren.

 

[naossano]

reminder this is one of the lead designer in bioware

If the guy stumbles across a mirror, he might kill himself seeing how white he is...

He doesn't even begin to be white, hence his rage

he looks white to me.

 

[lukaszek]

deterministic system > RNG

 

[tormund]

reminder this is one of the lead designer in bioware

If the guy stumbles across a mirror, he might kill himself seeing how white he is...

He doesn't even begin to be white, hence his rage

he looks white to me.

In comparison to our most vocal white supremacists like Irenaeus , that guy is white as Swiss snow.

 

[Whisky]

what's a snowquester and why don't we have it in the Old World

damn we're always three steps behind Murka, like a traumatised wife

bugs me. according to urban dictionary:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Snowquester

Mid Atlantic to North East Blizzard of 2013.
From the word sequester.. Which took place just a few days prior causing forced government spending cuts.

Whisky you are canadian, whats the deal with that?

EDIT: the more I think about the weirder it gets to kill people over it

I have no idea what a snowquester is. Wtf?

 

[Bohrain]

Game confirmed to be Codex-compatible:

I don't get it.

Is the problem that she doesn't look like a straight woman? Or that there are straight women at all in the game? Which is it?

I think the tumblr crowd interprets that hairstyle as some sort of a lesbian dyke signal. This leads to them feeling of getting denied to fuck something, which makes them frustrated.

 

[l3loodAngel]

BTW is that "I see white people" - means that he want to kill us? From other remarks it may seem true, but may be some cultural appropriation or other non-existent bullshit.

I am all in for forced treatment of sick people! While wounds of his personal and his relative nonexistent slavery are still fresh in his mind...
Lock him up! Lock him up! Lock him up!

 

[DeepOcean]

The hate level of this guy is almost suicidal. That's too dark place to be, man. I can't laugh at a dude has so many problems. The problem is others top of him thinks he can able to design AAA titles.

Man, this guy is a psycho shooter in the making. I wonder anyone would hire this piece of shit after googling his name on 10 seconds and seeing he is deranged. Guess it was those white EA suit dicks for five years that made his little butt sore with over use.

 

[l3loodAngel]

The thing that makes codex shiver in fear - Bioware personnel.