Stupidest spell in RPG history

[Heresiarch]

The Celestial Gangbang spell in PS:T.

It summons a huge Solar, a Golden Dragon, a Deva and another angelic shit each makes a massive attack from the 4 corners on a single enemy. The SFX was absolutely spectacular (I remember each guy has its own entry animation which takes over the whole screen), so much flash and bloom and details which is better than all the uber-spells animation of FF and other next-gen shit combined. And when the spell is over (which takes about half-a-minute)

"Spell saved."

 

[Melcar]

So JRPG.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

indeed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kogUw9Cre1c

 

[Lonely Vazdru]

"Find familiar" in BG2. Cast once in the whole game. Done.

 

[Overweight Manatee]

"Find familiar" in BG2. Cast once in the whole game. Done.

Cast once in the whole game to trade an inventory slot for 10 HP.

 

[saenz]

"Goodberries" have always been classically stupid pick in D&D.

 

[Azrael the cat]

I recall a spell in Wizardry 1 that let you teleport anywhere in the dungeon, except that if you entered co-ordinates that put you in the middle of a wall or something it was perma-death (and no reloads in those days - game autosaved on your dead ass - normally party wipe meant making a new party, going and grabbing the remains of the old party, hauling their asses back to town and reviving them there - but if they're stuck in the middle of the wall, there's no corpse to retrieve). But, if you cast during combat it had a trio of odd effects: the teleport would be random (with the following 2 exceptions), you would never port into a wall that way, and it would only take you to a lower/harder part of the dungeon rather than one higher/easier/closer to town.

I'm honestly not sure whether to call the spell 'brilliant' or 'retarded' in its in-combat form. Porting to a random lower level spot in Wizardry 1 was pretty much suicide - the traps alone would pwn you if you didn't know where you were and didn't have maps, let alone the increase in monster difficulty. But the spell's only in-combat function was a last-gasp desperate 'OMG EVERYONE IS DYING QUICK GTFO NOW!!!'. You couldn't recast the spell to port back to the first level because you wouldn't know your current (post-combat-port) coordinates. So it's pretty much guaranteed that if you're fucked enough to actually consider casting the thing, you aren't going to survive afterwards.

It's retarded in that there really is no practical use for it (as it drastically decreases the likelihood of being able to retrieve your main characters with a lower levelled party). But also kind of cool in the 'magic as a dangerous desperate last act' notion.

 

[Dire Roach]

Atonement

"Normally, changing alignment is up to the player. This use of atonement simply offers a believable way for a character to change his or her alignment drastically, suddenly, and definitively."

 

[Grifthin]

Atonement was good for fallen Paladins.

 

[Lesifoere]

Atonement

"Normally, changing alignment is up to the player. This use of atonement simply offers a believable way for a character to change his or her alignment drastically, suddenly, and definitively."

"Believable"?

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

Atonement

"Normally, changing alignment is up to the player. This use of atonement simply offers a believable way for a character to change his or her alignment drastically, suddenly, and definitively."

"Believable"?

A WIZARD DID IT!!!

 

[Grifthin]

A CLERIC DID IT!

 

[Emotional Vampire]

"Goodberries" have always been classically stupid pick in D&D.

Oh yeah, fucking Goodberries.

loldruids

 

[Grifthin]

Although I'm ashamed to admit this - the Goodberries spell actually saved my party's ass in HOF mode in IWD II. It was one of those lol moments that's so funny.

 

[ksjav]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oWAb5NVALw

 

[Norfleet]

There are lots of hilariously bad spells, like Burning Mouth or Tenser's Formatted Disk.

 

[Malakal]

But it isn't about BAD spells its about STUPID spells. Goodberries may be bad but magical food is not stupid definitely. Other than almost every high level spell in Torment (not only the one mentioned in the OP but also mechanus cannon or elysiums tears or that finger from sky thing) I always found tempus fugit(?) fom arcanum to be retarded. Yay, I'm a mage and I slow down the entire goddamn world so my party gains double movement. Shit why not just change that slow down effect to some fire damage and kill everyone?

 

[Stereotypical Villain]

A CLERIC DID IT!

ITS MAGIC EITHER WAY FOOL

R00fles!

 

[Grifthin]

The Summon animal spell in Arcanum was pretty lame. The first time I used with a high magic character I had a WTF moment when the little bunny spawned. Then I found out that little bunny can annihilate entire platoons of enemies with no problems at all.

Then I went to stillwater and bought the stillwater blade for infinite bunny summoning. Then jacket intelligence to control 4 of them at once. Everything else in the game was trivial after that. oh and harm. It was so stupid that a bunny could destroy everything. I always felt sorta silly running around with my bunny friends summoned. That feeling ended when I got the harm spell and the dark necromancy spell mastery reducing harms' mana cost to 2. Much brokeness ensued. Silly silly spells.

 

[JarlFrank]

The Summon animal spell in Arcanum was pretty lame. The first time I used with a high magic character I had a WTF moment when the little bunny spawned. Then I found out that little bunny can annihilate entire platoons of enemies with no problems at all.

Then I went to stillwater and bought the stillwater blade for infinite bunny summoning. Then jacket intelligence to control 4 of them at once. Everything else in the game was trivial after that. oh and harm. It was so stupid that a bunny could destroy everything. I always felt sorta silly running around with my bunny friends summoned. That feeling ended when I got the harm spell and the dark necromancy spell mastery reducing harms' mana cost to 2. Much brokeness ensued. Silly silly spells.

I guess it was a reference to Monty Python's killer rabbit.

 

[Demnogonis Saastuttaja]

I trust JRPG's don't count here? Just making sure before somebody posts a page long description of some 15 min spell cinematic.

 

[Emotional Vampire]

Can you tell the difference between this and PST

 

[Lonely Vazdru]

Can you tell the difference between this and PST

About 1 minute.

 

[Carlos' Bitch1]

http://www.divinelovespells.com/

 

[Malakal]

http://www.divinelovespells.com/

So do you claim that love is a rpg or that this site is?