Watch me play a shitty game (Fallout 3) (COMPLETED!!)

[DriacKin]

Let's Play Fallout 3 Table of Contents:
Part 01 - Million Dollar Baby
Part 02 - House Party
Part 03 - Silence of the GOATs
Part 04 - The Great Escape
Part 05 - The Searchers
Part 06 - One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
Part 07 - How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Part 08 - There Will Be Blood
Part 09 - Nosferatu
Part 10 - King Kong
Part 11 - Titanic
Part 12 - Alice In Wonderland
Part 13 - The Conversation
Part 14 - Pan's Labyrinth
Part 15 - Some Like It Hot
Part 16 - No Country For Old Men
Part 17 - Training Day
Part 18 - Finding Neverland
Part 19 - Invasion of the Body Snatchers
Part 20 - A Space Odyssey
Part 21 - Iron Man
Part 22 - Apocalyse Now



Part 1 - Million Dollar Baby

[Intelligence] We must click the new button to start a new game.

[Intelligence] Bethesda is not Black Isle.

What’s with the big phallic tower in the distance?

War. War Never Changes

Big war 200 years ago. Lots of nuclear explosions. Lots of people died.

Some people survived. A bunch of guys hid in underground vaults.

You were born in Vault 101.

War. War Never Changes.

The game shifts over to this scene. I don’t think there’s enough bloom in this scene. It needs moar bloom. If there was moar bloom, I might be able to tell what’s going on.

Fact: Our main character just popped out of our mom’s vagina.

The game asks us to pick our character’s gender.
Naturally, we pick “boy”. Girls are for pussies and WE AIN’T NO PUSSY.
Note: This decision has no impact whatsoever on the rest of the game.

Also, why isn’t there an option to play as a confused emo tranny?

We need a name. Our first name is VD (I couldn’t fit Vault Dweller. It only gave me 16 spaces.)

Our daddy is Liam Neeson. Therefore, our last name is also Neeson.
Duh.

Who actually invents this shit? They actually paid someone to make a machine that does nothing but predict what you look like 20 years from now?

Not only does the “Gene Projection” machine predict your facial features. It also predicts your hairstyle and facial hair.

Will we be a peaceful citizen or a mass murderer?

Well, I suppose this answers that question. We’ve been alive less than 5 minutes, and we’ve already commit our first murder.

[Intelligence] The next part of the game takes place ONE YEAR LATER.

Daddy Neeson tells us to stay in our pen. Our character is EXTREME, so we decide to break out.

Aren’t these things supposed to be secure? Why isn’t there some locking mechanism? Why the hell is this gate so easy for a 1 year old to escape?

Seriously. All I had to do was push the door open. No lock or anything. Daddy Neeson should sue the guys who made this crap (Bethesda).

Fact: My game crashed at this point and I had to redo all the crap before this.

We find this book on the ground.
[Intelligence] This book lets us pick our character’s stats.

[Intelligence] Intelligence is the only attribute that’s actually useful, since it gives us more skill points every level. (Plus, it gives us a bunch of additional lulzy dialogue options).
Charisma isn’t really that useful, but I put a few points into it anyway, because it also gives us some additional dialogue options.

Anyway, Daddy Neeson is back and he’s ANGRY. He’s going to beat and sexually molest us for not listening to him.

But first, come over here. I want to show you something.

The numbers 21:6 clearly won’t result in a contrived puzzle near the end of the game. Definitely not.

Have you ever met someone who had a “favorite passage from the Bible”?

[Intelligence] I stopped playing at this point, and will probably resume at some point in the future…



This is my very first Lets Play thread. I’m probably going to abandon it midway just like 90% of the other LP threads… but hopefully, this will give us all some lulz before that happens.

Anyway, this is the first time I’ve touched Fallout 3 since last November when it first came out. Back then, there weren’t really any mods around, and I haven’t kept up with the mod community. That being said, which mods (if any) do you guys recommend using for this LP.

EDIT: The images are now quite a bit smaller.

 

[ElectricOtter]

Really, all that's to be said is FUCK YEAH


I wish ya luck. Hopefully you can take it to the end.

 

[Rohit_N]

Smaller pictures, please?

 

[Ogg]

Hopefully you can take it to the end.

Hopefully you won't die of boredom.

 

[DriacKin]

Smaller pictures, please?

What resolution images should I use? Currently, the images are 1440X900.

 

[RK47]

Heheh, lowering it to 800x600 reso would be nice.

 

[DriacKin]

I reduced the image size. I think it should be ok now.

 

[Nedrah]

I like your use of the error message from hell. Bonus points if you can make it Bluescreen so hard that you actually need to reinstall your graphic card's driver in order to be able to boot into windows again. Fun times.

Anyways, please continue - needs more arbitary talking heads, though.

 

[Hoodoo]

Re: Watch me play a shitty game

 

[RK47]

Really, all that's to be said is FUCK YEAH


I wish ya luck. Hopefully you can take it to the end.

It shouldn't be too hard as long he doesn't get distracted by side quests too much. It's longer than Mass Effect, that's for sure.

 

[Quilty]

This LP is long overdue. MOAR, my good man!

 

[DriacKin]

Really, all that's to be said is FUCK YEAH


I wish ya luck. Hopefully you can take it to the end.

It shouldn't be too hard as long he doesn't get distracted by side quests too much. It's longer than Mass Effect, that's for sure.

I'm planning on doing at least a few of the side quests. I'll definitely do the blow up/save Megaton quest.

 

[Brother None]

Re: Watch me play a shitty game

Playing modfree? If so, courageous.

Have you ever met someone who had a “favorite passage from the Bible”?

Sure, many times. Thing is, they're usually inspirational passages from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, or stuff like that, not completely irrelevant quotes from the Book of Revelation that mean absolutely nothing out of context.

 

[Seboss]

Wasn't your father supposed to look like your character (beyond obvious skin color), or was it just another load of crap from Bethesda?

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Re: Watch me play a shitty game

Have you ever met someone who had a “favorite passage from the Bible”?

Discounting all the "Ezekiel 25:17" quoting motherfuckers, then no.

 

[Brother None]

Wasn't your father supposed to look like your character (beyond obvious skin color), or was it just another load of crap from Bethesda?

No, his face changes depending on how you modelled your face. And it does, but it's pretty subtle. Which is good, it'd be friggin' weird if your father looked EXACTLY like you.

 

[VentilatorOfDoom]

Daddy Neeson looks like a middle-aged guy tbh.

 

[DriacKin]

Part 2 – House Party

PARTY!!

This is the most special day EVAR!!
Meet the Overseer. He sees over stuff at the Vault.

Here in Vault 101, when you turn 10, you’re ready to take on your first official Vault responsibilities.

He gives us our very own amazing, spectacular, fantastic, orgasmic, fancy wrist-band watch thingy!!!
FACT: We access the game’s menus and GUI using the Pip-Boy 30000000.

aniacalLaughter:

Anyway, this is a party. So, lets meet people:

Meet Amata, our incredibly ugly best friend. She also happens to be the Overseer’s daughter.

She gives us some old comic book as our birthday present. Reading it adds 1 point to your “Melee Weapons” skill.
FACT: Reading comic books make you a better fighter.

Anyway, MOAR BIRTHDAY PRESENTS:

Poem!!

Baseball Cap!!

Sweetroll!!

Meet Butch, the incredibly ugly stereotypical bully.

We don’t give him our sweetroll because WE AIN’T NO PUSSY.
Making fun of him mommy makes him mad.

Butch attacks us. The game doesn’t let us punch back.
Anyway, he only gets off 2-3 punches before the security officer stops him.

Our friends console us after the traumatizing fight:

I don’t get it.

BULLSHIT. Butch is the MOST EVILEST PERSON EVAR.

MOAR PRESENTS!!

Are you ready for your surprise?

WANT PRESENTS!!

I figure you’re old enough for this. Your very own BB gun!

GUN!!

FACT: 10 years olds are old enough to own guns.

Jonas found it down here.

GUN!!

It was in pretty rough shape – took us 3 months to get it working again. You know how tough it is to find a spring that small?

GUN!!

Want to give it a try?

GUN!!

Combat Tutorial!!

We have to shoot the targets and kill the Radroach. There’s a barrier between us and the Radroach, so he can’t attack us back. In order to hit the targets, we put the crosshair on the targets and click the left mouse button.
FACT: We have to kill the roach in order to proceed with the game. Fallout 3 cannot be completed without lethal force.

But instead of shooting the giant insect, we…

…shoot our dad in the head instead. He doesn’t protest, resist, or take our gun away. He doesn’t even look in our direction. He just stands there while we pelt him in the head with BBs.

FACT: You can’t kill your dad. If you hit him enough times (it took me about 20 rounds to the head), he’ll just fall down and go “unconscious”. He’ll just get back up after 20 seconds or so…
Lame.

You start off with 50 rounds of ammo. If you run out of ammo, Daddy Neeson’ll just give you 25 more rounds.
FACT: Daddy Neeson has infinite BB-gun ammo.

In fact, you can just shoot dad in the head a bunch of times, ask him for more ammo, shoot dad in the head a bunch of times, ask him for more ammo, shoot dad in the hea…

Back to the roach.
You can shoot him normally or switch to the super awesome invincible mode (VATS) by pressing ‘V’. Here, you can target individual body parts, even though we never will. There’s no reason to ever target any body part other than the enemy’s head. Each VATS action takes up some AP, and you can only pull off about 2-3 VATS attacks before running out of AP. Our AP regenerates slowly over time.

When you shoot something with VATS, you also get a SUPER AWESOME unskippable slo-mo video of shooting the enemy.

The defenseless roach took 3 rounds to the head to kill.
Thus ends our combat tutorial.

He’s lying. I’m fairly certain this is the only point in the game we can come down here.

BB guns are for pussies… and WE AIN’T NO PUSSY.

If they wanted to keep this thing a secret, why didn’t they just give us a concealable weapon like a pistol or something? How exactly do we conceal a rifle, and still come down here to shoot anytime we want?
Daddy Neeson is not very [Intelligent].

Also, are there any mods that would enhance this LP? Right now, I'm just playing a vanilla install.

 

[Brother None]

Re: Part 2 – PARTY TIME!!

Also, are there any mods that would enhance this LP? Right now, I'm just playing a vanilla install.

Uhm, duh?

Anyway, combining FOOK, FWE (or XFO) and MMM makes for a pretty different, and more challenging, experience. Combine as per instructions in FOIP. MMM adds new enemies too, like Wanamingos. Dunno about other mods that add shit to enhance the LP, other than all the hot ladiez mods above.

 

[FeelTheRads]

No mods, plz. I assume it's funnier without them.

 

[Brother None]

No mods, plz. I assume it's funnier without them.

I'm sorry?

How will this not improve the LP?

 

[FeelTheRads]

Got a point there.

Still, I'd like to see Bethesda's stupidity unaltered, since I just can't play this piece of shit myself.

 

[entertainer]

Why are you doing this?

 

[Hobo Elf]

Why are you doing this?

To purge us from our sins.

 

[DriacKin]

Why are you doing this?

I'm mostly doing this LP to hopefully get some lulz out of the bad dialogue and silly situations.

No mods, plz. I assume it's funnier without them.

I'm sorry?

How will this not improve the LP?

I don't know. This kind of stuff is kind of funny the first time you see it... but it loses it's lulzy value fairly quickly.