Completed Welcome to the Jungle. Let's Play the Planet Alcatraz

[Baron Dupek]

Update 17 - party hard

Spoiler

It have sense.

Let's see with the Prospero

Luckily

This quest was solved by itself.

I know he will act like an asshole when you come for money.

Interesting.
Looks like unused item, or limited for the important people, like Ambrosia in Deus Ex.

On the hunt

Best armor to fight with monkeys. Become a tank to fight small, hairy bastards.
Unfortunately, you can't wield katana when you wear FullT suit. Must be animations issue so devs just
blocked that thing.

Slugs are easy to beat and give some XP, but fighting with the group is not good idea, since they might poison you, even with
decent Melee skill.

They attack with the claw placed on their butts, looks hilarious when they attack.

Root's family will meet his end.

Back to the city, to taipay district.

Not bad.

Average rescue mission turned into shit from the start.
And why did I got so much XP for opening the gate?

Boarplz

BOARPLZ you really want to go in?

ohmygosh

Lot of rats, big and bigger.

Urm...freedom?

Not without some bloodbath with rogues.

Our objective is here

Can't believe that but this is it, I'm carrying toilet in my backpack.

Seems like that's not over.

So this is the village, where Zen master is hiding. Wonder if there is other way to find it beside this shitty quest.

Some beggars approached us, didn't shrug off no matter how much they get, I gave them fire instead.

Groovy

Everything is all right, they're together and I got reward.
Cool people.

time to bring hoe to the man

Easy.
That quest with Zen master is not over. You need to walk from Zen Master to that Monk few times, each time
gaining some cash and XP. I'm gonna milk that.

Entering: Hot Trophics

Not this shit again. I hate flying lizards.

And big gorillas on top of it. They hit HARD.

Just look at it. Every time they rise club up my hears stop.

Damn Root!
Wait, Madness? Never saw it before.
Obviously can't tell what it do.

 

[Commissar Draco]

This game is genius pure Russian Extrem in the pill. :russia:

 

[abnaxus]

I should really LP Не время для драконов.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Oh yes, and killed my gray cells, which damaged my grammar and other communicative functions.

I should really LP Не время для драконов.

If this is, what I thing is - I mean, Planet Alcatraz 2 - the do eet.

 

[abnaxus]

If this is, what I thing is - I mean, Planet Alcatraz 2 - the do eet.

 

[Baron Dupek]

abnaxus

At first - I though it's Konung but that guy on the right is not from fitting to the universe.

And why there's no woman on the right? Do they clone themselves from lack of breeding alternative?

 

[Baron Dupek]

Update 18 - Ain’t no rest for the slugs

Spoiler

These last hunting encounters are so relaxing with better guns and blades, not to mention armors.

ohyes.bmp
chopping never gave me so much fun

Bring it on

*SWOOSH!*

Sullen is down, didn't noticed if that was poison or stab from assclaw.

Wait what? Medicine skill reduce chance to receive critical hit? I don't even... Should put some points.

Not too shabby.

Ridiculous.

What's next?

Is Boar coming back home?

Brother! Why did you become communist?

Again these spider things.

Not much to show beside my brother's photography.

Back to the village

Solution is simple - blacksmith have memory of the goldfish (then how he live as a blacksmith if he forget that much?)
and hammer is in his locked chest.

Quest require you to contact with some assholes, like that guy.

Let's walk off it

Now this is serious. There is ton of hyenas (dog or not - ask LS)

Their skin is used to make armor plates, that we could use in our vests.

There is some big lizards, not much a threat but will give us some experience. All skillpoints are going into
Imperial Weapons.

Back to the Legion city

Next location - Praire Animals

Not so tough monkeys, eh?

With assault rifles flying bastards are no longer a threat. At last.

Back to the city

wait, if that's "medium" machinegun then there must be "heavy"? :bounce"

Next location - Oakery of Antropods, whatever that mean

How cool, some night mission with flying bats around (thank goodness I have assault rifles)

Not to mention crawling in the dark 6-legged creepiness.

Next stop - Oasis

Barely started and already assaulted by hyenas with their veterans.
Plus big lizards THAT BREATH FIRE

I did not bough new rifles but I just feel that I'm gonna need this

ohsnap

Abandoned like a bed of your divorced momma.

This is not all force here, I'm afraid.

My sneaking attempt was so-so, I survived and deal some damage but not much.

When my team went to the east, eliminating the resistance, this old geezer appeared and started cutscene.

Frankie is Hoover, but you already know broken translation mixed all these names so it's easy to be confused
if you want to play attention to this gibberish.

:laugh:

oh boy...

OHBOY

Thank goodness I bought this tube on the market so I can easily dispatch them.
Underbarrel grenade launcher also work but there is chance that these FullT bastards stay on their legs
after taking hit, and will tear you apart with bullets when you reload.

Once again we wear FullT armors and play Terminator&Robocop crossover in prison planet.
Neat.

Cool Predator cloak effect.

You might wonder - what happen, if you try frontal assault?

This happen. Electrician didn't lied.
These lasers both poison and stun you. How they poison with laser? Hell if I know.

This time sneaking failed, good thing my two FullT terminators did splendid job as a backup and whipped them on the floor.

Excellent, robots in the centre are out of service.
Sadly, he won't see it. Got shot moment later.

See? They don't look in our way anymore.
Better conserve ammo and whack them with katanas.

WHEN SUDDENLY

:laugh: he didn't move out from the doors when he kicked the bucket.

Centre is clear, for now.

Luckily the rogues in the northwest were not alarmed. Gave me some breath before removing the remain forces.

Aaaaahyourself

Strange. Pretty expensive 6mm rifle. Why I did not saw it earlier? Who use that thing, when you have higher calibre around?

Nice workshop

There is the last stand nearby when suddenly

OHSHIT

:laugh:
wow they screwed. For some reason grenade flew into the guy, who was crawling in front of the guy with
grenade launcher. I don't even.

No more human and animal encounters. Wonderful.

See? 1 million saved by not buying anything.

Last picture in the workshop, with dedicati0on to the Skull Throne.

Wow, how long does it take?

Almost 3 days spend on fixing all my stuff.
I only can imagine how much it could cost me if I go to the repair man.

To my surprise I found the man, who can upgrade iron chain mail, curtrass and that Vader helmet. Yes, Vader
helmet is actual name.

Before upgrade

After upgrade.

Finishing some business in the Legion stronghold.

I forgot if I was supposed to drop "suspicious leaf" in his chest or chop, but then got reminded that
the guy who gave me that leaf (Frank Fidget) is ded by my hand, and all I can do is sneaky attack.
To my surprise nobody have a fuck. Looks like everyone above seargant rank is absolute asshole.
Can't wait to meet General Karamba.

Wait, he really do THAT??

he did

He was exposed to Boar presence too long, now copy his gestures.

Let's go see with Valium about jet/red pills

in case of trouble - ask Blacky.

Straight to the point.

I lost screenshots from old updates, but there was better view on the whole palace, where we're going now.
Can't enter without touching the Valium case.

Now the doors are opened by angry guard.

He got his ass kicked.

That's the best picture I could get.

I failed here, gave machinegun to the weakest guy in the team.

There are two rooms on the opposite sides.

Sullen failed sneak approach after this one-liner from the inner guard.

Boys are called to fix the problem.

Launching grenades in the building is a risky business.

To be continued...

 

[Baron Dupek]

Great, minus . com have some issue (error 503) and 4 out of 10 pics didn't load. I really hope that's temporary, I already packed up pics and don't want to mess with it again...
Really, they don't even show my avatar on the site.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Update 19 - Yellow Like a Snow Submarine

Spoiler

Continuation of previous fight will start with two very confusing situations, summarised in one screenshot.

First - Jackson don't talk with us and turn hostile.
Second - despite this game tell me that everything is going right, according to the plan.
I panicked a bit, because endgame is so close it will be infuriating to loose by gamebreaking bugs.

This time our hope is not in the Blacky but

Him.
Looks like shit hit the fan for real and they are preparing for something big.

Luckily we get the location marked on the map, so nothing is lost.
This lead us

here

Oh Boar
They are not armored but their number is big enough to be a threat. Unfortunately guns with
high rate of fire are not a thing in this game and won't help us. All we can do is throwing and launching grenades.

We will stay here and spray everyone in line of fire.

I hope there is no important items here, searching this pile will be tedious pixel hunt.

Sullen failed sneaking AGAIN

Feels like WWI

random journal pic

What you know, you can shoot through the windows. Setting these puppets in the tiny window take some effort, not
gonna lie.

But it's worth it.

Rest of the team hide and prepare nasty surprise.

Sry, our objectives collide with your will to live.

Woah man, levitating guns

What you know, on the north there is Legion stronghold.
I have loot to sell.

Everyone are ready to go in.

Woah
Real submarine!
No wonder they tried to hide this secret well.

Just like his old brother - he won't talk with us.

Reinforcements? But that's where I come from and did not saw anyone.

There is still hope to find shuttle

Let's talk about it with Blacky

finally Blacky is useful, at least one, at the end of the game

We are lucky. It dropped in the middle of nowhere and there is no human that took our belongings

that's because there are a lot of wild animals around.
Animals can't use our new equipment. I wouldn't be surprised if they could, though.

Now enjoy the slide show

There is a little problem. Guns are discharged. Batteries not included.
We can only use knives and armors (luckily).
Knives do mediocre damage but insane 99% chance for critical is the reason do sell our katanas.
Critical status include increased damage, lowered stats (enemies might not use their guns and armors anymore
but don't count on that), crippling and taking down.

No matter, submarine captain is waiting.

Now Sullen is capable to use bigger guns. In case of critical hit - take pill.

For sold old equipment I bought more boom boom things.

another luck - he know how to deal with batteries issue.
But first - let's deal with old business

You lost key? That's because I have it, to open the chest you dumbass

Wonderful
Let's go then

Barely set my foot on the dry ground and I got surrounded by wild dogs.
Forgot to put out knive so it ended in sparring.

Moment later assault started with well placed headshot.

If you don't get out of here stalker...I mean, highlander, it's gonna happen NOW

After heavy barrage like this? Unlikely.

For some unknown reason my team shoot down pigcalfs and pigbulls. Without my control.
What the hell?

Sounds easy? Go into camp and clean resistance?

What happened? Cages with slaves are exposed, which might result in deaths by random bullets.
Something like that happened more than 10 updates ago, when I tried to save slave and his two friends.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Update FINAL 1

Spoiler

Let's try again

This time I try to gather them somewhere, where random bullets are out of slave's reach.

random journal pages
just in case you love reading in this game

shitshitshitshit

A Boar walk into a bar...

...and found neutral NPCs.

You should.
Space marines slash armed guards with simple knive

I have no idea what do I do with it

This take some time

game keep the quality till the end

<sing some pirate/marine songs>

secret nazi base, I love it

Look at this tough guy, want to deal with them alone.
Believe me, this will be tough even for my team, even with better armors.

For some reason he have no portrait. But the fact that I can hide him is good in my book.

Now I can spend the points on the Imperial guns percks.

GET OUT

See? They have can men.

Holy shit, they rip me apart with these machineguns!

Just fucking die already

You know what's the funny part?
14mm ammo is only available in AP variant. Like the fact that it's used by most powerful guns in the game was
not enough.

This sector is clear now.

Now we need do the same with second sector.
This take some time.

:laugh:

Mission Completed

Let's see our new (this time working) toys

It should be noted that railguns have unlimited range. Perfect for robots. Yes, we will meet them AGAIN, Abandoned
Mines are not enough.

Next stop is

Shuttle itself

Welcome to the grand finale, gentlemen, if anyone survive to read this shit

Prepare for last battle

What a pity I never found this one before.
Rifle with scope and more than 1 bullet is nice.

Not so tough, eh?

Die you banana colored cans

So Karramba was behind this all.

No rest for the wicked. Swallow the pill and attack.

Friggin robots have nice reach too. I need a plan (or good bait).

P.impressive kill log, but I don't remember taking down THAT much.

what's this thing?

Let's finish it

WAIT WHAT??

Wait, hold on.
I'm supposed to run away? After blowin out the only way to get out of the planet?
With all that angry army of people, who wanted to escape?

this gonna be tedious
On the bright side - our critical wounds are gone.

That's not hostile, right?

Hard day

After going through the cave I found the doors to the surface, which lead us to...

...old friends

Sorry pal, I don't have time and space for this shit

I found no traits of Father Vendingo. Strange.

ohsnap

Bad news is that food vendor died as well. No free money for me. Not that I need them.

Glad it's over now.

time for final resupply and done with this shit

 

[Baron Dupek]

Alright, this is embarrassing.
I wanted to finish this LP with sketch of Vampire Squad but failed to deliver.

My drawing skill MASSIVELY declined since last time. And my new scaner suck. On paper - it's looks good and clear. But scanned image is almost white/blank. I need more (and more) lessons, but I would appreciate drawing tablet more.

Update Final2 and last (this time for real)
Enough is enough, I have had it with these mothefucking degenerated on this motherfucking degenerated planet.

Spoiler

Home is close

Boarplz

Thanks for free medkits, looser

Look at this thing
Now all we need is to get in and...

wait what?

OHSNAP

OHSHIT

this is not good

Just...hold...on...

Eat shit and die

sayonara Karramba, go to the heaven for Rainmen, bastard

And it's over
FINALLY

Sayonara suckers!

"high rank of Private"? Then what you need to get General rank? Perfect blowjob for Imperator?
BTW. Hartman is Sergeant. You can imagine how badass he will be in the sequel.
When I writed this LP previously Planet Alcatraz 2 was nowhere to get, even on "not-so-legal" places,
behind seven seas. Now it's avaliable on Steam, but only in orkish dialect (RUS).

that's some big ball for a rat

 

[Azira]

They probably saw that victory dance. You kind of blew it there.

 

[Baron Dupek]

Whatever man, it's all behind me now.

 

[Baron Dupek]

I managed to fix all broken images.
Minus.com was garbage image host, it was mistake to hold there anything.
For now - next LP (there will be at least 2 more) will be done on imgur.

Now you have a chance to experience pure madness.
After reading updates you should grab some books and clean your mind (and heal your grammar).