KickStarter Where's The Passion Lads? Let's Get a Job in Football Manager 2024

[wwsd]

Table of Contents:
Prologue 1: On the first day, God created JOE HARDMAN
Prologue 2: Briton who? Introduction to our first LLM team
2023-2024: The first games
2023-2024: Towards the halfway mark
2023-2024: Mid-season PUMP
2023-2024: CAMPEONES, CAMPEONES
2024-2025: Back in the Village
2024-2025: Shaking up the Cymru Premier
2024-2025: WE'RE GOING INTO EUROPE BABY!!!
2025-2026: How can wood be this old? Adventures in the Balkans, League Cup victory
2025-2026: Mid-table finish
2026-2027: IT'S COMING HOME LADS to Nigeria. JOE-TAL FOOTBALL. BIG FAT CONTRACT OFFERS.
2026-2027: Introduction to Livingston FC
2026-2027: The relegation struggle is real, but we've got the WTF TACTIC!!!
2026-2027: Decision on day 38!
2027-2028: Where we spend the wage budget on crappy loans, but we go into the mid-table anyway, and FULHAM FC COME KNOCKING
2027-2028: Introduction to Fulham
2027-2028: Shakespearean relegation tragedy
2028-2029: Getting back on our feet in the Championship
2028-2029: Last-ditch promotion!
2029-2030: Back in the Premier League
2029-2030: A solid mid-table finish
INTERNATIONAL BREAK!!! 2030-2032, an Englishman in the Netherlands
INTERNATIONAL BREAK!!! 2032-2034, the end of a (rather shit) era in FM

So, a while ago FM24 was discounted on Steam. The first new Football Manager game I bought since FM 2010 way back in the day. With 14 years in between, I never really had the experience of being pissed off at small changes between different editions, because I simply didn't play them. After three seasons with Ajax, in which I conclusively demonstrated that I'm more competent than Maurice Steijn and Sven Mislintat (not a high bar, since they managed to put Ajax in the relegation zone at some point last season), I thought it might be fun to step away from the 8-figure transfer sums and high-intensity 4-2-3-1 Gegenpressing, and go for an old FM classic: the Journeyman save. What is a journeyman, I hear you ask?

journeyman /jûr′nē-mən/

noun​

1. One who has fully served an apprenticeship in a trade or craft and is a qualified worker in another's employ.
2. An experienced and competent but undistinguished worker.
3. Formerly, a man hired to work by the day; now, commonly, one who has finished an apprenticeship and is a competent worker in a handicraft or trade, but has not received recognition as a master; -- distinguished from apprentice and from master workman.
4. A competent and experienced worker who performs adequately but without a high level of expertise or imagination.
5. A tradesman who has served an apprenticeship and is employed by a master tradesman.
6. A competent but undistinguished tradesman, especially one who works, and is paid by the day.
7. A player who plays on many different teams during the course of his career.
8. A skilled worker who practices some trade or handicraft.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition • More at Wordnik

The definition most relevant to FM is the 7th one. In FM, one of the non-negotiable aspects of it is that you start unemployed and apply for a team still has a vacancy at the start of the game (or go on holiday and wait until someone gets sacked mid-season), and you hop jobs when it's feasible and worth it for the advancement. Although for me it's just as acceptable to fall in love with a club and take them into the professional leagues, but we'll see what happens.

In any case, the other definitions also apply: you necessarily start as little more than a day labourer, and slowly become a "competent but undistinguished" football manager. But eventually you can become more and more skilled.

Game start:

FM offers a host of different starting options, both for the game world and you as a manager. I decided to start the game in the "real world". This means that the teams will be as they were in the run-up to the 23/24 season, with any summer signings already present, but not the winter signings, who will automatically come in the winter transfer window. Maybe not so relevant for a low-league start, but I decided to disable the first transfer window. So the squad you get is the one you have to make do with for the first half year. I did allow the game to add key staff, since it also doesn't make sense for a rookie manager to be allowed to bring in his own backroom team.

Game start: Unemployed
Game mode: Real world
Adding key staff: Enabled
First transfer window: Disabled

Leagues:

You always have to choose which leagues to load. The more leagues are being simulated, the harder it is on your system. To balance this out, and since I'm playing an English lad, I decided to load all the leagues in the British Isles (England, Scotland, Wales, Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland), plus all the leagues in the Netherlands, Germany, Italy and Spain to provide for a variety of opportunities on the continent. This still gives me 3.5-stars in game speed on my laptop. However, I can add or remove leagues during the game. A true journeyman is a globetrotter, so why not manage in Greece, the Czech Republic, Brazil or Indonesia at some point?

The manager:



Joe Hardman, 37 years old. A relic from a different era, he was the type of player they've been trying to rid the game of for years. As a defensive midfielder for his local Sunday league team, he quickly established himself as the key leader on the pitch and in the dressing room, mainly due to his ability to shout "OI U WOT M8???" at the top of his voice louder than any of his team-mates. But he also ended more than a few of his opponents' careers. So there was a bit of Schadenfreude in the local media when one bad step destroyed his right knee in 2019, and he never played football again.

His hobbies include having a laugh with the lads and summer holidays to Mallorca, drinking pints of lager and picking up birds. But his real dream was always to be the man in the raincoat, the gaffer, the... Football Manager. During the Covid pandemic, his career as under-assistant sausage roll procurement manager at Greggs came to a screeching halt, and he decided to study for his C licence online. So, this is debatable too, as some people advocate starting without any papers at all. But I don't know why any club would allow soeone to become manager without any loicence, unless he was a retired pro or something. So I decided to start with the lowest possible licence instead.



Yes, in Football Manager nowadays, we can actually *roll* a character and min-max his stats! Is FM an RPG? Do these stats matter? Who knows? In any case, because of our amateur experience and basic coaching education, they are all very low at the start.

And so, on a rainy English summer day, Joe Hardman steps into the local Jobcentre, looks under the 'F' for 'Football Manager', and finds the following vacancies:




Thankfully, we don't have to tackle this alone. We have... a Personal Assistant!



The lovely Susan Dublin is a bit hard to make out in this tiny thumbnail, but she looks like she has fetal alcohol syndrome. In any case, when she wasn't selling sausage rolls at Greggs, she would often see Joe break legs, and has been a lifelong admirer who will be supporting us in this managerial journey.

Although the Ajax vacancy is open (a consequence of the setting I chose at the start, I guess), we probably don't stand a chance to get that job or any of the other professional teams here. For the moment, I would prefer to manage a club, not some shitty country like Gambia or Suriname, and definitely not Ukraine Under-20s or something. But beggars can't be choosers, so for now, let's just apply for all open managerial positions, and see who bites!



Joe's buddy John works at FourFourTwo and gives us a leg up by "interviewing" us as if we're already a prominent manager! Result! Indeed, why not go abroad? Meanwhile the rejection emails come in from Gateshead and Havant & Waterlooville, in the Vanarama National League, and National League South, respectively. Getting a job will not be easy.



We while away the summer days as more rejections keep coming in. It was to be expected that the application for Huddersfield, playing in the Championship, would not be successful. But so far, no luck with any non-league teams either. Susan enthusiastically forwards us the news that Sligo Rovers in Ireland have sacked their manager mid-season. "wd b a gd chance for u maybe?" she texts. So of course we apply. Surprisingly enough, they invite us for an interview! They are a professional club that used to be competitive in the Irish Premier Division, although their best finish in recent years was 3rd place in 2021.



What a difference a day makes: one moment you're in a Jobcentre, the next you're being flown out to Ireland! We decide to bluff our way through the interview: of course we'll improve the atmosphere in the dressing room, which has been lacking. As a result of this, Sligo are 9th out of 10 in the league. Of course we don't need to bring in our staff! Of course we're happy to start in the middle of the season with the club heading for relegation! The chairman politely thanks us, but won't make a decision straight away. Still reeling from this interview, we learn that all English clubs have rejected us, but Briton Ferry in Wales do want to talk.

Briton Ferry Llansawel A.F.C. are a semi-professional team in the Cymru South, the southern half of the second tier of Welsh football. However, they are favourites to win the league this season. After a long trip to Wales, the chairman Wyn Evans is surprisingly enthusiastic. They have been competitive in Cymru South for some time now, with three successive 3rd places, just falling short of promotion. Now he finally wants to take the club to the next level. For his manager, he seems to be looking more for a certain personality type, and is willing to take a risk.

After a week of waiting, finally we receive word that Sligo Rovers decided to go with a manager with significant Irish Premier League experience. However, Briton Ferry want to offer us a contract! As nice as it would have been to have some choice of different clubs, it's a chance to start our career with some silverware, if the team are as good as the media would have us believe. Time to pack our bags and move to Wales.





Next, we'll explore the club, its history, ground, supporters, and the Welsh football pyramid.

 

[Falksi]

Joe Hardman sounds like a top boy, he's got my backing.

 

[Andnjord]

An excellent initiative. Tally ho, Godspeed and all that, Joe Hardman truly sounds like a top bloke.

 

[wwsd]

A journeyman save is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're gonna get. I was wondering if I would get a big selection of clubs to choose from, even if they're not great, but in the event, only Briton Ferry were willing to offer our mad lad Joe Hardman a job. So then obviously a few questions spring to mind:

- Who are Briton Ferry Llansawel A.F.C.?
- Where is Briton Ferry, what kind of place is it?
- Why was the club only founded in 2009?
- How does the Welsh league pyramid work?
- What tactic do I play?
- Oops, looks like I got the one team in the league that's expected to win it - are they actually good enough? I have no idea.
- Do I need to be able to speak Llanfaircymrullewelynish or whatever Welsh is called in Welsh?

Many questions, but let's start with the obvious one: Who the hell are Briton Ferry Llansawel A.F.C.?

Surprisingly enough, Briton Ferry are based in... Briton Ferry. The Welsh name for Briton Ferry is Llansawel. So why is it called Briton Ferry Llansawel A.F.C.? Well, they are a merger of two clubs, Briton Ferry Athletic, and Llansawel, who were based in nearby Neath. So now they have this name that is either bilingual or just redundant, depending on your perspective. Before the merger, Briton Ferry had varying degrees of success, but dropped down the the fourth tier in 2008. Post-merger, they made their way back to the second tier, where they are favourites to win (and did, in fact, become #1 in the real-life 23/24 season, winning promotion to the Cymru Premier, the Welsh equivalent of the Premier League). More about the club history can be found on their website: https://www.britonferryllansawelafc.com/history.php

Briton Ferry, or Llansawel, is a town of 6,000 located on the mouth of the River Neath, just a 20-minute drive from the more famous city of Swansea. Also more famous in footballing terms, as Swansea City A.F.C. participate in the English football pyramid rather than the Welsh one, and they were in the English Premier League and Europa League during the 2010s.

A rather romantic documentary about the history of the town:



Some good old-fashioned #brokenbritain seething about the wider area from the unsurpassed channel "Turdtowns":



In the nearby town of Port Talbot, there are major steelworks. With the combination of steelworks and a beach, as a Dutch person, my frame of reference for it is that it's the "Welsh IJmuiden", but that probably means nothing to anyone reading this.

The area lies within the constituency of Aberavon, which is fair to say is a Labour safe seat, currently represented by Stephen Kinnock. In fact the area has a long socialist tradition.

According to the game, the stadium is called "The Old Welfare Ground", but it's actually called The Old Road. The stadium has a capacity of 2,000 and looks like a decent trip for some old-fashioned ground hopping:

The grand stand can seat 250 according to the game.

For Codexers with better education than Joe Hardman, the function of General Manager at Britton Ferry Llansawel A.F.C. is currently vacant. Don't miss out on this opportunity!

The first squad, pictured in September 2023:

Let's hope Joe Hardman will last long enough at the club for me to learn to identify all these players by their faces.

The club can be followed on Twitter: https://x.com/bflafc

The current squad can be seen here. It may differ a bit compared to the July 2023 game start in FM, without any winter transfers having progressed yet.

The squad in FM, with the star ratings from the assistant manager:




Now there are two assistant managers at the club, and if these reports come from Chris Llewellyn, they are actually pretty accurate, as he has a Judging Player Ability and Judging Player Potential rating of 12 each. So we will be relying on him a lot for the first indication of which players are good and which ones are shite. But in the end, it's all about performances. Our defenders, wing backs, wingers and strikers are all pretty good, but Cameron Berry is the only really good player in the central midfield. It'll be hard to make a useful formation out of this.

Three great players are leaving in the winter transfer window to reflect the real-life situation: the left midfielder Declan Evans, the playmaker Cameron Berry (also missing the start of the season due to injury) and the talented goalie, Aaron Jones. However, a goalkeeper, attacking midfielder and technical striker will be coming in January.

Before Joe Hardman took over, the club has already been playing some pre-season friendlies, winning three and losing one. In fact, we've got only one more friendly coming up against Cymru Premier side Haverfordwest County, and then it's straight on to the league:



The coaching staff consists of the manager, two assistants, and two goalkeeping coaches, whereas the board only want to have two coaches altogether. Could be problematic. In terms of scouting, there is a technical director, but no other scouts. The medical team has one physio, but nobody else:



Improvements can be made here, especially in scouting so we can look for some players to sign on a free as soon as possible. Note that we are a semi-professional club, so players, staff, etc. all work part-time, and training is only done on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Joe will be looking to bring in a Head of Youth Development, a Head Physio, a Chief Scout, and maybe another scout.

Anyway, on the day of Joe's arrival, it's already time for the first friendly. Let's first say hello to the team:



A good start to get the morale up. For tactics, it's still a bit of a puzzle. There isn't really a formation that uses all our strongest players, unless we want to go with an asymmetric formation. Since we're up against an opponent from a higher league, we'll start conservatively for now:



With three at the back and wing-backs, we should have a strong block. We'll seek to get the ball to the tall guy and have the attacking CM run up to have 3 guys pushing at their defence, while the wing-backs seek the overlap. This is merely a template and it may change in further games, or get more customised. But probably best to keep it simple at this level.

Anyway, without further ado, let's take on Haverfordwest County in the first and last friendly.




With the pouring rain sending God knows what filth from the steelworks down onto our heads, we managed a victory over the (on paper) stronger opponents by the narrowest of margins. Both sides were playing a defensive game with little to enjoy for the fans. But good crossing by the Reds posed an aerial threat a few times, and on one such occasion, deep in injury time, a push in the box led to a penalty. Tom Walters stepped up to the plate and made no mistake. His description from the club's website:

---

Tom Walters​

Previously Cymru South top scorer and title winner at Llantwit.
Tom was a major summer signing with a number of clubs chasing his signature.
The 26 year old loves the physical side of the game, is great in the air and a prolific finisher and will be looking to continue his scoring exploits at the Old Road this season.

That will do it for today. Next, we'll actually start playing some competitive games!

 

[Andnjord]

Go Briton Ferry Llansawel A.F.C.!!!!!


Yeah, this is gonna be good.

Spoiler

Until it gets abandonned on page three, but this is some good stuff so far.

 

[wwsd]

So, after a little over a month of Joe Hardman's tenure at Briton Ferry, let's take stock of where we are. Appointments at this level don't really attract a lot of media attention, with only one journalist attending our first presser:



Sgorio is a real-life Welsh-language football show with live games and highlights. See below for some highlights of a real-life Briton Ferry game against Ammanford (Rhydaman) on April 9th, 2024:



The beautiful man with the slight double chin and beer belly who scores an epic four goals in one game is Luke Bowen. In this game, they won the Cymru South title and promotion to the Cymru Premier in real life. Bowen ended second in the top scorer's table with 29 goals. A great achievement that will be a challenge for Joe Hardman and co. to equal in FM. So how did we get on in the first clutch of games?



The first game against Llanelli Town, also considered title contenders, was a disappointment. We had more possession and shots, but very few that tested the opposing goalkeeper. This was followed by a second-round Welsh League Cup (compare to the English League Cup) elimination at the hands of Cardiff Metropolitan University. This is no disgrace, since they're in the Cymru Premier, one level above us. But it would have been nice to be more competitive in the cup. Form started improving with three straight wins afterwards, but this could not be continued at home against Caerau Ely. In fact our home form has been weaker than our away form so far. Although with an average attendance of 173 at Old Road, it would perhaps be hard to speak of a home advantage. With a strong recovery against Afan Lido, we are back in with a shout, and the league table currently looks like this:



Obviously it's very early days, and although we haven't had an amazing start, a title challenge is certainly still possible.

For Joe Hardman, managing in the lower leagues has also been a hard learning school. After the cup defeat, it's decided that the 5-3-2 is too conservative. It invites too much pressure, and we lack the individual quality to break through this. Although I don't want to download any broken tactics (and this probably won't help much with this low level of players), I did get some cues from FM YouTube, and made a copycat of the three flavours of 4-4-2 presented here. The video explains how to make a solid 4-4-2 for lower leagues in this iteration of FM, without trying to cheese the match engine. There are balanced, attacking and defending flavours. Defending here doesn't mean parking the bus, but defending up the field, while keeping more control at the back by pulling the wing-backs and flank midfielders back. The starting 11 then looks like this, with the tactic named after the pub team where Joe Hardman once showed his sliding tackles at ankle height:



We run into the problem here that there is no true right midfielder in the squad, and I already regret disabling the first transfer window. Luke Bowen, the real-life club top scorer, can play as a striker or as a right-winger in a three-forward system, but not as an RM in the 4-4-2 sense. He nevertheless plays reasonably well there, but understandably gets annoyed when asked to play out of position. I can retrain him, but at 35, he's probably not going to learn a lot of new tricks. But I can't exactly bench him either, what with his pace and the way he leads from the front:



Luke Bowen's profile from the Britton Ferry website:

---

Forward

Luke Bowen​

Bows boasts an array of experience at the top level in Wales and wherever he has played has always scored goals.
Luke will be looking to be in and around the top scorers of the Cymru South come May, Manager and Players Player last season as well as being named in Cymru South Team of the Season.

I feel bad for murdering him as a goalscorer so far, but perhaps things can change once I can sign a proper right midfielder.

Who are our other big performers so far? Two names mainly spring to mind:



Thomas Walters, the poacher who scores a goal per game on average so far. He is doing for me what Luke Bowen did for the team in real life. You could already read his official profile in the previous post. Not only does he score from regular play, he also draws quite a few fouls in the penalty area. Which is good, because he's also our first penalty taker. Against Afan Lido, he converted his penalty in the most delicious way: a Panenka, in the Cymru South no less!



Cameron Berry, our most creative midfielder. Sadly, he will be leaving us in December to join Cwmamman to reflect the real-life situation. Another option that seemed nice and realistic to start with, but is not really fun in an in-game sense. It will be hard to fill his shoes. The central midfield has good pace and creativity, but is lacking in raw strength. On the plus side, that is the only lacking physical attribute.

A look at the team dynamics:





With the decent run of results, Joe Hardman is beginning to win over the squad. There are no true leaders, but Bowen is the most influential man in the squad, followed by the captain, target man Tyler Brock, who has not been a goal scorer so far, but is doing a good job "making war in the box" to enable Walters to shine.

First order of business: hold on to this form until the winter. Then find a replacement for Berry, and a proper right midfielder.

To close this off, let's take a look at the competitions we are involved in, and see what honours can be won:

JD Cymru South:
One half of the 2nd tier of Welsh football, bringing together the clubs from, you guessed it, southern Wales. There is also a Cymru North. The winners of each will earn promotion to the Cymru Premier, provided the champions can earn a Tier 1 Licence, which I assume has to do with the quality of the facilities. But aside from that exception, that means only the championship is good enough to earn promotion. This will be our aim, and it's the pre-season expectation. Although the board will accept a top-4 finish too. There are 16 sides in the Cymru South, meaning we will "only" have to play 30 matches, leaving room for no less than three different cup tournaments, see below.

JD Welsh Cup:
Similar to the English FA Cup. Our first-round game will be on 16/9 against Cefn Cribwr FC (I accept no responsibility for spelling mistakes as long as I'm playing in Wales), an amateur club playing in the Ardal SW league, one of the districts in the 3rd tier of Wales (not playable in FM unmodded). There are a total of 7 rounds in this cup. Welsh clubs playing in the English league system used to compete in this tournament, but are now excluded.

Nathaniel MG Cup:
This is comparable to the English League Cup, AKA the Carabao Cup. Like in England, it's also considered less prestigious than the FA Cup. We were eliminated from this cup by Cardiff Met Uni.

JD Cymru League Tier 2 League Cup:
I'm at a loss what this is supposed to be. The game lists Barry Town as the only winner of this tournament, in 22/23, so I think in real life this is the tournament known as the Welsh Blood Service League Cup. It seems to be a cup for teams in both of the tier 2 leagues, so the Cymru North and Cymru South. Our next game will be in this cup, against Baglan Dragons, who are also in the Cymru South league. Perhaps the one cup we actually stand a chance of winning.

 

[wwsd]

Some screenshots I forgot to add on Sunday. Just think of it as an outtakes reel:

Now I see why Llanelli are doing so well: they have two managers!

Very unsporting. I bet the 16-year-old one plays FM all day.

We also lost at Caerau Ely, probably because this lad swatted us aside with his massive right arm:

We did beat Baglan Dragons, but they did not go gently into that good night:

In fact, one of the main challenges in this league is keeping all the Williamses, Evanses and Thomases apart.

But the show must go on! Where do we stand just before the halfway mark?

At the beginning of December, we are 3rd in the league, but with a game in hand compared to the 2nd and 1st-placed teams. Carmarthen has been our bête noire, as we drew and lost against them in back-to-back league games. Tough motherfuckers, with many assists coming from their left winger Jones-Thomas, and converted by their striker Liam Thomas, a great finisher and joint top goalscorer with our own Thomas Walters (are you still keeping up with all the Thomases?).

We are however the greatest goalscorers in the league. We concede quite a bit too, as can be seen from some of the 5-3 and 4-2 results so far. But the same can be said for most other teams. The defending quality in the league is not very high, there is a lot of free-flowing football, but also goalies dropping the ball into their own goal like a hot potato and stuff like that. But as long as we score more than the other fellows, we'll be all right. Our last two games have also seen two clean sheets. Our next opponents, Cwmbran Celtic, are the only decent defending side, conceding only 12 out of 14 games.

In September, we went from strength to strength, and Joe Hardman won his first award:

The locked transfer window (a mechanic that I'll definitely enable again in future saves *cough*) is closed, but that does mean we can sign in players on a free again!

Another guy named Williams, because why not? With this lad, we've got a proper right midfielder again, so Luke Bowen can play up front. Williams is a simple man with a simple plan: dribble along the right flank, beat his man, and whip in that cross!

In the game against Goytre, our top goalscorer Thomas Walters got on the scoresheet within 11 seconds! We weren't able to hold on to the lead however, as the game ended 1-1. Our first draw in a season full of wins and losses so far.

Goytre hurt us again in the Welsh Blood Service League Cup, holding on to a draw and taking the penalties better:

A blow to our ambitions for sure, as this was the one cup we might have gone all the way to win, seeing as it consists only of clubs on our Welsh tier-2 level. But when even Thomas Walters starts missing penalties, you know it's not to be this year.

The Welsh FA Cup brought better luck on penalties against our Cymru South competitors, Cambrian & Clydach:

The next round will see us play Cymru Premier side Penybont, a game for which we will have to be at our best if we are to stand a chance of getting into the quarter-finals.

Meanwhile, we are finding an alternative to scouting players. Although we do have two scouts employed, they are also part-timers, and their judgment is questionable compared to the kind of scouts and analysts they have at top-level European clubs. So what can you do instead? Simple: offer trials to unattached players and see if you like the cut of their jib. Simply weed out all the obviously rubbish ones on day 1 of the trial, and test the others for 4 weeks, and all their attributes will be revealed. At the moment, we are trialling left-backs to replace the departing left-back talent Connor Goldsworthy:

When asked about this new approach, Joe Hardman continues to woo the media with his charming personality:

"Oi mate, are you slow? Do you know what a trial means? It means we're trying someone. Never ask me a question again, you daft cunt."

However, our goalscoring record speaks for itself:

Alas, Cameron Berry left the club on the 1st of December on his pre-arranged transfer to what appears to be a West Wales Premier League (4th tier) side. Why? God only knows.

Don't blame Joe, it was arranged before his time!

Berry missed a lot of games due to injury, but was still creatively useful in nine league games and four cup ones:

The official club website described him as follows:

Cam Berry​

23 year old ex-Swansea City midfielder signed last season.
Hampered by injuries Cam will be looking to get a full season under his belt and break into the Reds midfield.
Will add creativity and composure to the squad.

Midfielders are already being trialled to replace him at the earliest convenience, because there is nobody else in the squad at his level.

Who have our other big hitters been in this autumn?

With the arrival of Luke Williams, I was able to play Luke Bowen up front again. He started promisingly there, but fell off a bit during the games that we failed to win: the tier-2 League Cup elimination against Goytre and the back-to-back games against title contenders Carmarthen. Then he got injured, and the decision to let Tyler Brock take his spot was an easy one to make.

---

Forward

Tyler Brock​

Tyler was a regular on the scoresheet last season.
24 year old forward who has played for Carmarthen and Pontardawe, Ty has versatility, is quick and knows how to finish.

Declan Evans, a left wing-back who can also play as a full-back or left-midfielder, has been a creative force for me. Alas, he too will be leaving for greener pastures (well, our local rivals Trefelin) in January. A good crosser, he made 4 goals and 7 assists in all competitions, and will be missed.

---

Defence

Declan Horgan-Evans​

24 year old left footer signed previously from Pontardawe, Decs has a great engine and boasts incredible speed, always a threat down the left flank.

The new right-midfielder Liam Williams is already fitting in well, with 1 goal and 3 assists in his first 8 games.

Jack Hurley is transfer-listed and not rated very highly by the staff, but he has nevertheless contributed 8 assists, topping the league table for assists in fact! Better take him off the transfer list.

---

Midfield

Jack Hurley​

24 year old cultured midfielder who has previously played for Port Talbot and Afan Lido.
A vital cog in the Reds midfield who returns after a spell away in Dubai.

He must have been swimming in pussy in Dubai, once he told them that he was signing on with Briton Ferry!

Josh Bull has made most of his appearances from the bench, leaving him little time to impress, but he has done a decent job in the time given him.

---

Forward

Josh Bull​

New signing from Barry Town, Josh has been prolific every club he has played for and will add extra ammunition to the front line this season.

 

[wwsd]

Winter signings and games

The period of December-January was the time to shore up the squad in preparation for several players leaving on pre-arranged transfers. After testing a great number of players, the following players were brought in:

Another pacey right-winger with a good cross. He is more versatile than most players, as he can also cut inside from the left.

Not the fastest in the business, this left winger does add depth to the squad.

A hard-working young left-back who will replace Connor Goldsworthy, who left on January 5th.

While all this is going on, the league continues. On Boxing Day, Briton Ferry finally officially swoop the #1 position in the league. There have been a couple of moments before where it was undone by competitors with a game in hand, but now we are the undisputed league leaders:

It came in a bizarre game at Baglan Dragons where we had no less than 40 shots and 3.84xG, but only scraped a 0-1 win.

Transfer activity continued in the new year:

This talented central midfielder will replace Cameron Berry.

Furthermore, Briton Ferry also already had a bunch of incoming transfers pre-arranged for January. The star of the bunch is Corey Hurford:

Unfortunately, as an attacking midfielder or shadow striker, he does not really fit into Joe Hardman's 4-4-2 tactic. But at £200 per week, this is not the kind of player that can just be kept out of the team. Despite the risk of changing the system mid-season, Hardman makes the following decision: the target man is taken out of the equation. Instead, Hurford will play as a shadow striker behind Walters.

His ability to get between the lines works amazingly well, with 4 goals and 2 assists from 6 games. With this new, more subtle tactic, journalists start heralding the age of HARDMAN-BALL!!! Yes, you heard that correctly:

A talented defensive midfielder and a new reserve goalie to replace the outgoing one, and that's the last of the signings:

Hardman-ball is not only creative, it's also destructive. Our players tend to give everything for their red shirt, and journalists begin to take notice how many yellow cards we grab:

"Oi mate, we are fucking pacifists compared to some of the teams out there. So what if we get carded a few times? None of my lads has been sent off so far. Sure, Jack Hurley gets a little physical at times, but that's what he's being paid for. Except not really, because he doesn't get a salary, but you get the idea. The point is, right, that we're like fucking Gandhi out there, and if you disagree, we can step outside and sort it out man to man, right now."

The Ammanford manager is named "Gruff", so now I can't help but think of him as a dog. He envies our abundance of young talent. But Gruff, maybe the problem is you, when you're fielding a central defender who is closer to retirement than he is to his U19 days:

Maybe give some youngsters a chance? Anyway, we beat them 2-0.

The games played in winter:

On December 9th, we lost the cup game against Penybont, ending our final cup run. We were not terrible, but overall a fair result. With only the league to focus on now, we remained unbeaten for the rest of the winter, and took a comfortable 5-point lead in the Cymru South:

Not bad when playing in conditions like this:

Only 6 more games to go before we'll know whether our title and promotion ambitions will be fulfilled! Out of these six games, the ones at home against Abertillery Bluebirds and Taffs Well are must-win, as they are in the relegation zone and likely to go down. Afan Lido are a decent mid-table side, but should be doable too. Caerau Ely are a strong opponent that we lost to at home in August. One of the "best of the rest" competing for the top 4. Trefelin should be an easier opponent again. Hopefully we'll already have the title in the bag before closing the season against the Llanelli, currently ranking 2nd.

 

[Luka-boy]

*BANG BANG*
CAM ON DUTCHMAN
*BANG BANG*
UPLOAD SOM FACKIN POSTS
*BANG BANG*

 

[wwsd]

As the end of the season approached, it seemed that the best signing of the winter is also going to be a short-lived one:

The man himself:

---

Forward

Corey Hurford​

Corey has signed back at Old Road after a stint as a professional with Swansea City, after being released in the summer and playing for Pontypridd in the Cymru Premier he is a welcome addition at Old Road for the remainder of the season.

"I'm sorry boss, but I have no idea how I ended up here to be honest. OK, so I didn't make it at Swansea, but most of these lads aren't fit to tie my shoes. Feels like I'm carrying the whole team here."

In one game, it looked like we might choke:

The home game against Abertillery Bluebirds also almost ended in a flop, despite our dominance:

For the home stretch and going into next season, we signed an experienced central midfielder:

For the last three games, Joe Hardman brought the whole team together:

"Come on lads, these cunts have nothing on us. We are going to take this trophy home because THIS. IS. BRITON. FERRY. LLANSAWEL. AFC!!!!"

Nevertheless, the next crucial game against Taffs Well started with the Reds falling behind, but we came back and won it:

The sense of jubilation became even bigger when it turned out that Llanelli had choked in the 90th minute:

Thus the title dream came closer than ever. Although the goal difference isn't that great, it would still be a pretty big disgrace if we lost both of our last two games while also losing the advantage in goal difference. The main concern is that the last game is away at Llanelli, so the lads might get nervous if we do lose the game against Trefelin in-between.

A special celebration was also held to commemorate Jack Hurley's 10th yellow card. As the hardest man of Hardman's team, he happily contributed half a week's wages for the drinks:

The top 50 wonderkids are announced:

We can't afford any of these, of course. Reminds me of the old FM days when you could just sign those kids on a free with none of the other teams the wiser.

The game against Trefelin is a tight affair, with neither side really creating anything. Then, in the 69th minute: a corner from Morgan Daykin gets cleared out of the box, but left-back Perry picks it up and places it in the back of the net, and everyone comes off the bench. GOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!

This isn't really true, it took us until mid-season to take the 1st-place position. All that remains is to play the once-feared away game at Llanelli, now merely a game for the record. In our yellow away kit, we get received with a guard of honour by the opposition:

After that, the reception is less friendly, as their 16-year-old right-back is sent off following a shocking two-footed lunge on the unstoppable Hurford!

Down to ten men, the runners-up no longer pose any threat to the champs:

Our own Thomas Walters has been on fire all season, and is officially crowned league top scorer!

Our goalie Rhys Wilson also gets an individual award, the Golden Glove, for keeping the most clean sheets: 8. In the land of the crappy defences, the one-armed man is king!

There are also no surprises for guessing the Manager of the Season:

It's a time for celebrations, stats, and tidbits!














The board come at us with BINDERS FULL OF DEMANDS for next season:

However, it certainly won't be easy in the Cymru Premier. The club is actually in the red, losing money every month and being £100k in the red, despite us being well within the wage budget. With an average attendance of 184, our performances don't exactly reel in the crowds. Prize money barely exists at this level. It's likely we'll have to cut contracts and bring in cheaper replacements despite getting promoted. It will be challenging to not get relegated right away. However, the club will have to spend money to add more seats to the ground to be able to conform to Cymru Premier requirements:

Hopefully with more seats, we will attract more fit birds like these:

(Seriously, read this blog by a ground hopper who went to Briton Ferry - the prawn sandwich brigade have not discovered this club yet)

Thankfully, it seems the £35k required for this is being raised separately, so it doesn't add to the club's debt.

The cup tournaments could have brought in a little bit of prize money had we won any of them, but it was not to be:

It's no surprise that The New Saints won both the Welsh Cup and the League Cup, along with the Cymru Premier. They are the most dominant Welsh team within the Welsh league pyramid, although they are actually based just across the border, in England. Whereas many Welsh teams are in the English system. I will make a breakdown of all this background some time in the next season, as I'm sure we'll meet and get spanked by The New Saints several times.

No matter what else may happen, one man won't be taking a pay cut!

Another rat jumps off the title-winning, promoted, but nevertheless apparently sinking ship:

Chris Llewellyn is a real-life coach and former player. I think he might have edited his own Wikipedia page:

In the 6 years that Llewellyn spent in the first team it was rumoured that on more than one occasion an unknown Premiership club had had an offer of 3 million pound plus rejected by Norwich, who were keen to keep hold of the player dubbed, 'The New Giggs.' It was this title that earnt him cult hero status at Norwich, indeed a group of supporters known as, 'The Barclay Boys,' regularly sang a song about their Welsh Wizard to visiting supporters, 'Try and spell his effing name, effing name, effing name, try and spell his effing name, Chris Llewellyn.'

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Llewellyn

Although he never became the new Ryan Giggs, he did win 6 caps for Wales, scoring once. He has been a good assman, since he actually has a clue about tactics, what team talks to give, and he can give accurate reports on how good our players are (Judging Player Ability/Potential). A new assistant will probably be a step back.

Despite the new contract, it may be time for us to look for greener pastures as well:

To be continued...

 

[Luka-boy]

We did it lads!


PS. If you somehow get hired by Rayo Vallecano I will be laughing for days.

 

[Andnjord]

Wales is too small for the Herculean balls of Joe Hardman.

 

[wwsd]

Mood:



In the summer of 2024, Joe Hardman's budding managerial career stands at a crossroads. One year ago, the only team to give him a chance was Briton Ferry. And so his career did not take off in his native England, but in the unfancied towns around Swansea, where the M4 crosses the River Neath in all its concrete glory. The team was expected to win the Cymru South, and Hardman duly delivered, with entertaining football to boot. Playing along the flanks and whipping the ball to the big guy up front never gets old. Add central midfielders running at the opponent and lots of balls played into space, and the simple, high-risk, high-reward approach made short work out of most of the defences at this level. As the squad got shored up, the Reds even managed 8 clean sheets!

But will the rest of the world give a fuck? The Cymru South and North leagues are ranked 183rd in Europe in terms of league reputation, just below the Isthmian, Northern and Southern Premier Leagues in the English 7th and 8th tiers, below the Dutch 4th Division (the 2nd level of Dutch amateur football), below the 3rd tier of Luxembourg, and just above the Scottish regional Third Divisions. The Cymru Premier stacks up a bit better, being the 107th European league, well above the Vanarama National League North/South in England, and slightly below the English Vanarama National League and the Dutch semi-professional 2nd Division. So although we're in a better competition now, we're definitely still pretty shit.

While juggling the interests of preparing the next season and watching the Euro 2024 with his mates, Hardman asks his lifetime fan and personal assistant, the indispensable, lovely but slightly retarded-looking Susan Dublin, to put out applications to other teams with vacant positions. Although he wouldn't mind a relegation scrap with Briton Ferry, it's clear that the Welsh football pyramid doesn't exactly have a lot of growth potential. Attendances mostly in the low triple digits, and little prize money to go around, unless you qualify for the Champions League qualifiers. A privilege that is usually reserved for The New Saints. Susan takes our request to apply for all clubs other than Cymru North/South and Northern Irish lower league sides very literally. For some reason, Manchester City (Pep has gone to PSG!) don't want Joe, although the Abu Dhabi sheiks do take time out of their busy schedule to express their admiration for his massive titanium balls:

Unfortunately, more realistic teams like the ones from the English Vanarama National League, or even the Vanarama North and South leagues below that, don't consider Joe Hardman a serious option either. The stinging rejection letters keep coming in, including from the Spanish lower leagues, Dutch sides like TOP Oss, and there isn't going to be a Serie C adventure either. Could it be that we will have to stay in Wales? Finally, one job offer comes in:

This is where I decide to step on the editorial brake for one moment. Although it would be very funny if we qualified with Curaçao, national team management is not something I want to be doing now, neither on its own, nor in combination with Briton Ferry. If people disagree that's fine, I have made a separate save at this moment in time, so maybe in the future I can play an alternate reality where Joe wins himself eternal glory, and a lifetime N-word pass in the Dutch-speaking world. But for now, club football it is!

The League of Ireland Premier Division starts and ends in winter, so it's mid-season there now. Drogheda are among the teams that have sacked their manager, but this time there isn't even a job interview in it for us.

As the rejections keep streaming in, it seems nobody is interested in our titanium balls. Luckily, there's Euro 2024 on TV:

Wales have qualified for the Euros, but they go out without a single win or even a single goal. A far cry from the days of 2016 and 2020, but the opposition in the group has been tough. But fuck Wales, because... IT'S COMING HOME!!!

That's right lads, FM can make anyone look like a good manager, even Gareth Southgate. Of course he called up Jack Grealish, who gave the winning assist! Of course Mbappé was stopped and rendered ineffective! Whoever said that England was overpowered in these games?

The Netherlands and Denmark were the losing semi-finalists against France and England, respectively.

As the drunken stupor fades away, reality sets in. If there is no new club coming for Joe Hardman, maybe he can improve his reputation not by winning a league, but by saving Briton Ferry from relegation? And so it seems all roads lead back to the M4, and the M4 leads back to Briton Ferry:

We can always apply for jobs during the season. But for now, we're committed. Let's try to outdo last season's achievement by STAYING in the top flight!

500 fans can now sit in the expanded stands:

Whether that number will ever be filled remains to be seen. Three newly-promoted sides in the Cymru South also have to rent our stadium for lack of a better alternative:

Hopefully Swansea Uni, Mumbles Rangers (one of the more poetic club names - Mumbles is a headland near Swansea) and South Gower will pay at least something for this privilege, but I'm not holding my breath.

The difference in terms of income is pretty stark in the Cymru Premier:

We have by far the lowest number of season tickets sold:

We get the groundsman to relay the field in a way that benefits a wide game:

With Hurford gone, it's time to play with a target man again! But Luke Bowen is getting old, and many other players are a bit too short for the role. A job advert is placed that reads like a Tinder profile: if you're under 6ft tall, please swipe left! A big guy is trialled and signed:

Joining him is Ryan Hillier, a more pacey, technical striker who can hopefully function at Cymru Premier level.

The task ahead of us is not an easy one. The bookies believe we will go straight back down again. The only lower rated team is Flint, newly promoted from the Cymru North:

The financial situation at the club is still not great, running at a loss despite winning promotion. To get a cash injection, Hardman launches Operation Whipping Boy, inviting several English Championship, League One and League Two sides to The Old Road:

Also Carmarthen invited us to a testimonial for one of their players, for some reason.

The friendlies put plenty of bums on chairs and cash in our register, although it doesn't stop the club running at a loss. We get destroyed in most games, but also manage to score in most. Only Blackpool are held to a 2-2 draw. Not bad against an English League One team! Only the tiny English team Langford from the Spartan South Midlands Football League (a league that makes the Cymru Premier look like La Liga) provide target practice for us.

Many changes are made to the squad:

The transfer policy is simple: when you get promoted, you have to be unsentimental. There is no time to develop youngsters, usually. The players have to be up to scratch for whatever level you're playing at. Besides, some players want to leave no matter what. Players brought in:

- Jamie Baker, 34, Central Defender. He doubles as our new assistant manager. He'll mainly be on the bench as a result.
- Clayton Green, 30, Central Midfielder. A hard-working player with a great tackle and can usually be trusted to play to a lad in the same colour.
- Zack Clarke, 21, Striker. Our one-man air force.
- Ryan Hillier, 22, Striker. The poacher of the new attacking pair.
- Noah Edwards, 28, Central Midfielder. A depth signing.
- Ryan Bevan, 23, Defensive/Central Midfielder.
- Charley Edge, 27, Left Midfielder. Oh, the edge! A reasonably pacey crosser who will improve our play from the left flank. Declan Evans will have to take a back seat to him for now.
- Louis Bradford, 22, Central Defender. A tall, strong defender, since Luis Bates is leaving.
- Mungo Bridge, 24, Central Defender. He's tall, he's black, he'll bite you in the sack! The Nigerian-English defender (full name: Mungo Olayipo Oladapo Erogbogbo... Bridge!) started at the Aston Villa academy, but only ever played one FA Cup game for them. He will replace Keiran Williams (Central Defender/Midfielder), who is being outcompeted by other players in the central midfield, and not good enough to be a defender at this level. Bridge has great physical traits, and will be our most expensive player.

Before we continue, it's probably good to explain the rather different structure of the Cymru Premier. Perhaps it says something about the reputation of the league that the only explainer about the league that I could find on YouTube is from an ASMR channel that promises to help you fall asleep:



Basically, the league is divided into two phases. There are only 12 teams in the league. After the first 22 match days, the league is split in half: the top 6 play each other in the so-called Championship Conference. The bottom 6 play each other in the Playoff Conference. Each Conference has home and away games against the other 5 teams, so that the total number of league games in the season is 32. Since the points you win are carried over from the first phase in the second, this doesn't seem to matter that much. But the winners of the Playoff Conference will enter into the European Playoffs, so they get another chance at European football.

A quick look at the league's history tells us that we'll need about 30 points, or 10 wins, to achieve safety. Furthermore, the Welsh FA Cup and League Cup will be contested again, just not the 2nd-tier League Cup anymore.

Now we must talk about the massive elephant in the room, called The New Saints:



This club started out as Llansantffraid FC, hailing from the Welsh border village of the same name. In the 1990s, after winning the Welsh Cup and qualifying for Europe, they were famously sponsored for £250,000 by a computer company called Total Network Solutions, under the condition that they would change their name to Total Network Solutions FC. In Europe, they used the acronym "TNS" because of UEFA regulations. In 2003, they merged with Oswestry Town, an English club located just across the border in Shropshire, and ended up playing in their stadium, located in England, not Wales. An interesting transnational situation: although many Welsh clubs play in the English pyramid, now here the opposite happened. When Total Network Solutions was taken over by British Telecom, the club changed its name to The New Saints. They remain the most well-financed club in the Welsh structure, and the only full-time professional side. As a result, they have won the Cymru Premier in most of the past decade, with the exception of two seasons won by Connah's Quay. Let's try getting an upset against them at least once this season!

One of the reasons why the Welsh league is so crap is that most of the best Welsh sides don't play in Wales at all, but in England:



In the past decades, Swansea and Cardiff have spent time in the Premier League, but now they are back in the Championship.

But enough about them, let's get through this second season and either keep Briton Ferry in the Cymru Premier, or jump ship when the right offer comes along!

 

[Andnjord]

Little did I know waking up this morning that today would be the day where I learnt so much about Welsh football

 

[wwsd]

Little did I know waking up this morning that today would be the day where I learnt so much about Welsh football

Same here before I started this game! That's the cool thing about journeyman/lower-league FM: instead of picking your favourite club and league, you have to actually learn something. And it's funny because all those players you're interacting with are real-life people who actually play in front of these small audiences, not some God-tier stars. Just makes it very relatable, like you can actually imagine yourself playing or coaching a team like that. Still, let's hope for some career progress as well!

By the way, a quick look behind the scenes: I tend to play ahead a little bit and make my screenshots, and then sort through them separately. There is absolutely no save scumming. The only thing I do is keep some bookmarks (currently two: the start of Joe's career and the Curaçao job offer) in case I ever want to go back and explore some alternate realities, but I doubt I will be using even those. For now, I want to bang through these seasons a little bit quicker than in the posts I've made so far, so without further ado, let's see how we've fared in the first 22 games of the season, before the league splits!

In our first set of games, we perform above all expectations:

We come out guns blazing, winning 8-1 against Llanidloes, newly promoted to the Cymru South, and then beating Caernarfon 7-1 in the opening game of the league!

Another highlight is the home game against giants TNS. A sturdy defence and clinical finishing sees off the professional team team:

We are less successful against Connah's Quay, the only other team that occasionally wins this league. They have an Irish player straight out of the Magic Kingdom:

They also eliminate us in the League Cup quarter-finals.

Our excellent league form doesn't carry over into the Welsh Cup. Although Afan Lido play in the league that we just emerged from, they surprise us in our own home and honestly deserved the win in 90 minutes, instead of the penalty shoot-out:

Mungo Bridge is already proving himself a great adept of Hardman-ball:

Takeover rumours continue to swirl around the club:

We continue to lack depth at centre-back, so we sign one more player:

Unfortunately, one rule about the Cymru Premier is that you must always name two U-19 players in your match day squad. It's OK if they're on the bench, they just have to be named in the squad. There are also only 7 named subs allowed, like it used to be in other European leagues. If 2 of those have to be under-19, considering the lack of quality youth players, it's hard to really have enough depth on the bench to have a quality stand-in for every position. So depth purchases are mainly useful as back-up for injuries.

The excellent league form continues, and we even top the table for a moment in December!

Remember, the league splits in January, after 22 games. Alas, we can't hold on to the top spot as performances begin to flag a little bit:

So good, they named him twice!

While we remain unbeaten against TNS, Newtown prove to be our Angstgegner, beating us twice in short succession. We end the pre-split league table in an amazing third place:

Home and away games will follow against all of the other top 6 teams:

The full league table after 22 games:

A few weeks before the split, we already reached the point of guaranteed safety. Now with the split, relegation is impossible no matter what. So our season's objective has already been reached in style. But just how far can we overachieve now? Our most recent form has been disappointing, with only one win out of five. But all of these top teams can be beaten, so let's get to it!

Here's what's at stake: the 1st-placed team qualifies for the Champions League, or rather, the first qualifying around of the champions' path. From there, it's still a long way to the CL proper, and even TNS have never gotten past the 3rd round.

Numbers 2 and 3 (depending on who wins the Welsh Cup) qualify for the first qualifying round of the UEFA Conference League, which again is only the first of 4 qualifying rounds before you enter the tournament proper. 4 rounds that are usually beyond the abilities of Welsh sides. In the last FM season, Haverfordwest and Barry Town were both eliminated in the first round by Armenian teams (cue sad trombone). Still, merely appearing in and losing that round would already instantly wipe out our £100k debt and leave us with another hundred grand to spend on anything we want. So it would be a massive coup.

If we finish between 4th and 6th (the bottom position for the Championship Conference), there is still hope of getting into Europe, as the teams in these three positions would then face each other and the 7th-placed team, i.e. the team that wins the Playoff Conference of the bottom half teams. The winner of the play-offs can then enter the same Conference League qualifying round as the #2 and #3. What a system! Last season, Newtown were eliminated in this round by, wait for it, K... Kn... Knattspyrnudeild, from Iceland.

Connah's Quay and TNS are clear of us by 9 and 10 points, respectively, so it's hard to imagine a title challenge. But never say never. For the remainder of the season, our purpose is clear: recover our form and crown this amazing season with a European spot!

 

[wwsd]

When the league resumes, a corner gets flicked on to Charley Edge standing at the far post, and we win 3-2 at Pontypridd! That's the first competitor for European places held off for now.

Against TNS, we don't manage to repeat the surprise win like in the beginning of the season. Our central midfielder Noah Edwards is injured in the game, but he wasn't really in our first-team plans. He was frustrated with his lack of playing time, so we gave him a chance in this game, but he was offloaded to Cymru North side Gresford shortly after, injury and all.

We also lose away at Penybont, another competitor for the European spots, but recover by beating 2nd-placed Connah's Quay at home against all expectations.

At Haverfordwest County, our goalie Rhys Wilson is a remarkable dissonant. The low rating is a bit harsh, as the opposition strikers manage a pair of long-distance shots against him that they would normally only manage once in their lives. But the fact is, he was caught off his line on both occasions. He's been reliable for us so far (and decent at passing the ball as a sweeper keeper), but it's worth keeping in mind.

The home game against Pontypridd should have been the moment we secure the 3rd spot, but we remain stuck at 1-1.

We win at home against Penybont, but lose 4-2 at Connah's Quay. Our final game is against our main competitor for 3rd spot, Haverfordwest County. They have spilled some points as well, so a draw is enough to secure the Conference League qualifying spot. A long shot by Harman closes off the season in style:

With that, it's official: despite the media prediction of an 11th place and relegation, we instead secure an incredible third place and a possible European qualification! It all depends on the result of the Cup final. Our former Cymru South rivals Afan Lido not only eliminated us, but managed to go all the way into the final, against TNS (who else?). Can the cup fighters cause one more upset?

As it turns out, the answer is no! Since TNS have already won the league, the European spot that would otherwise have gone to the cup winners, goes to the no. 3 in the league instead: Briton Ferry!














Although there is much to celebrate, on paper, we are still the weakest team in the league:

We make more applications with other clubs, but so far, the only offers for job interviews come from Cymru North and South clubs, which would of course be a step down. But now it doesn't matter so much. With European football, even if it's just for one or two rounds, we can be a very big fish in a small pond. Vanarama National (or even North/South) clubs in England may be more reputable, but there's no way to get into continental football. While previously it was Joe Hardman's priority to get out of Wales as soon as possible, now it's not so urgent. Maybe once the club is out of the red, they'll fund a coaching course to get us a better licence, which should lead to better job opportunities. In the meantime, we'll be at a club where the players, board and fans all adore us, expectations are low, but European qualification is perfectly possible if we play our cards right. Maybe the board will even make the club professional and challenge TNS!

The draw for the first qualifying round is already made in June:

Drita, based in Gjilan, Kosovo. The main thing we can say is that we know nothing about them, and there's no way our board will allow scouting trips to Kosovo, so we'll be flying blind here. Unlike us, they are a fully professional team, but how they will actually compare to us is difficult to say. Connah's Quay drew Trepça '89 from Mitrovica, also Kosovo, so there's a double Wales-Kosovo match-up coming up in this first round. Although the Kosovar league is not available in FM, we can surmise that Drita and Trepça must have finished 3rd or 4th to end up in the Conference League.

Our club's reputation is growing, as our overachievement is the big story of the season:

Otherwise, TNS have been the best at everything, as usual. Still, our strikers, Zack Clarke and Ryan Hillier, are named as particularly successful purchases:

Leave it to Joe Hardman to pick a winner!

The board's expectations are fairly limited, so there won't be too much pressure going into the new season. Unfortunately, with the club being £100k in the red, our wage budget is nothing to work with either. Most of the staff (coaches, physios, scouts, etc.) are on one-year contracts, so we'll probably let most of them expire. They're pretty redundant at this level anyway. Once the Conference League money comes in, the sky will be the limit, and that will be the time for more ambitious transfers.

Alas, both the Cymru Premier and the Conference League have pretty stringent homegrown player rules that are supposed to protect teams from predatorial big clubs, but instead just make it impossible for any smaller teams to get ahead. Think about it: TNS can invest in a youth academy that can usually deliver players worthy of Cymru Premier/Conference League level, but a club like ours can't. The odds that any of our youth players will be good enough for the first team is pretty small. We can scout the best free transfers in the world (or Wales, anyway), but it's pretty pointless if we can't register one or two of them, or if we can't name all the best players in our squad. UEFA!!! FAW!!!

Still, we can't let it get us down, and we keep trialling players. Even if we can't add depth to the squad, we can make sure that as many of our starting 11 are absolute stars. Like last season, the turnover in the squad will inevitably be high. The local legends that we started with in Cymru South are no longer good enough to cut it in the Premier, and the ones that we got for a relegation fight in the Cymru Premier are no longer suitable if we want our European qualification to be more than just a fluke.

Until the European cash floods in, the best bet is to make incremental improvements. First order of business: find another central defender who's just a bit bigger, meaner and tougher than the ones we got last year, who were slightly bigger, meaner and tougher than the ones we had before that. We're searching (and finding) in other positions too, but at the moment, we're still limited, partly by our wage budget, and partly by players still not taking Briton Ferry seriously.

Our squad dynamics are getting better. While there was a dearth of leadership when Joe Hardman began in the summer of 2023, by 2024, Baker established himself as a leader in the dressing room, not only because of his leadership skills (12 in the Attributes stats), but also owing to his position as assistant manager. The only problem is that he never actually played much. Now, in 2025, Bridge has established himself as another leader, while other strong personalities are also beginning to assert themselves. Thus, despite the constant turnover of players, the squad is beginning to show a strong spine.

With this lad coming in, we'll have a choice of two good central defenders to form a pairing with Bridge. Last season, some players started feeling uneasy about the lack of depth on this position, now we've got three star central defenders competing for two places.

And so, before we know it, it's the 10th of July, 2025, and we find ourselves in mysterious Kosovo, where a bunch of men in suits take the knee around a big green logo for some reason, while a famous hymn resounds in an almost empy Gjilan City Stadium, where few people are interested in seeing their team beat up some Welsh minnows. No, not that hymn, but another one, with easy lyrics to follow: "Whoooaaah, whooooah-whoa-whoa!" Can Briton Ferry overcome the odds and go through to the next round? Will Joe Hardman still be at the club next season? Will the European qualification success be repeated? Will the board know what to do with more money than they've ever seen in their lives? Will the chairman be replaced at last? Will decent players ever stop snubbing our little club? Find out in the next episode!

By the way, a quick administrative note: I've removed the lowest leagues of Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland, which are far below our current stature in the game, and added (rather randomly) all the leagues of Indonesia, Belgium, France, Greece, Hungary, Brazil, Portugal, Sweden and South Africa. I thought the number of leagues I had before would slow my game down too much, but it hasn't, so I thought I'd add a bunch more, since it's not much of a Journeyman save if you don't move around.

The new leagues will become playable in either January 2026 (Brazil, Sweden) or June 2026 (all the others). So in the middle or at the end of the upcoming season. If we can find a decent prospect in these or any of the previously loaded countries (England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, N. Ireland, Netherlands, Germany, Spain, Italy), where would you like to see Joe Hardman move? I won't call it a formal poll, this isn't a democracy, but I will take everything into account, provided the move represents an equal or better opportunity than Briton Ferry.

 

[Lucumo]

As long as you stay in Europe, all is good.

 

[3 others]

Beggars (or national C licensed coaches) can't be choosers. As long as you get picked up by a club in a more prestigious league, go for it.

 

[Andnjord]

A lad like Joe Hardman who grew up in the devastated post industrial council estates of England never learnt to despise money for the sake of honour. He should go wherever he’s paid the most.

Also:
GO BRITON FERRY!!! COME ON LADS!!!! SHOW THOSE BALKAN SHEEP SHAGGERS WHO THE REAL SHEEP SHAGGERS ARE!!

 

[wwsd]

At first glance, Gjilan looks like your average smaller Balkan city:



Although Gjilan is not a name many people have heard of, a cursory YouTube search reveals that it has already been discovered by the lads with faded hairdos and weird goatees and lasses with weird fringes:



While Kosovo may just evoke images of war and genocide, this British travel influencer couple have toured the whole country and found it perfectly pleasant and are even wondering if Gjilan is a "Perfect Place to LIVE?!" and buy a villa. Best quote of the video: "How can wood be this old?" How indeed??? Fucking magnets man, how do they work?

Buying real estate in Kosovo is the last thing on Joe Hardman's mind as the coach pulls into the hotel's parking lot. Quite how they managed to get here, he is still unsure. Since the Conference League money will only come in after the games, everyone at the club had to chip in a few pounds for this bus and accommodation. The newly signed central defender Ben Milburn was already rubbing his eyes and yawning from the moment the Wizz Air flight departed from Luton. Will he be sharp tomorrow evening?

Out of all the players who were in the squad at the time of Joe Hardman's appointment two years ago, only goalie Rhys Wilson, left-midfielder Declan Evans, right-back Ryan George, and striker Thomas Walters are still at the club. Out of these, only George is still an undisputed first-team player. Walters was supposed to get competition from Ryan Hillier, but he still started a lot of games as well, and has done an admirable job. After his poor performances at the end of last season, Wilson has been replaced by the younger, more secure Lewis Dutton, but was happy to stay as a back-up goalkeeper.

Did any of them ever expect to find themselves playing in Europe? Or at least, the closest to "Europe" that a Welsh side other than TNS is ever likely to come: the UEFA Conference League qualifiers. Founded in the 2021-22 season, the Conference League is the third tier of European football, theoretically allowing teams from smaller leagues a chance to get further ahead in a European tournament instead of just being eliminated in the early stages. In practice, the tournament has mostly been dominated by the smaller teams of the biggest countries, with the first final being won by AS Roma against Feyenoord.

It was due to this inaugural season that some Dutch football fans may know the name "Drita", as they managed to grind out a 0-0 draw at home against Feyenoord in the second qualifying round:



At home, Feyenoord came behind and almost suffered an upset, but eventually came back to win 3-2 and fire the starting shot on their Conference League season, which saw them go all the way to the final.

For the Conference League, they did not bother writing a new anthem, instead reusing the one from the Europa League, a tier higher:



When Briton Ferry hear this tune for the first time at Gjilan City Stadium, they must be aware that they are nowhere near the level of Feyenoord. At The Old Road, you also don't get this kind of support every week:



Only 15 away fans congregate at the other end of the ground, including the chairman, his family, and Joe Hardman's childhood friend and personal assistant.

Nevertheless, the Kosovars fold relatively easily:

A long-range effort from Dafydd Harman already seems to decide things in the 11th minute.

With a capacity of only 1,750, of which 500 seated, The Old Road obviously doesn't qualify to host the return game, even though the attendance may well be lower than 1,750. Therefore, Briton Ferry's home game is moved to Swansea City's stadium. 503 Briton Ferry fans and other curious onlookers fill out only one section of the 21,000-capacity all-seater stadium, while 15 intrepid Kosovars made the trip to see their team get whooped again. Clarke and Walters do their jobs up front, and Briton Ferry win 2-0 to go into the next round!

This hard-working midfielder is brought in on loan from Wrexham:

With the win over Drita, the first tranche of £85k of Conference League prize money is deposited into the club's account. For the next round, we are drawn against Hungarian side Vasas SC. Can Briton Ferry cause another upset?

On the home front, Joe Hardman decides to strike the iron while it's hot and ask the club to help him get his National B Licence. Just like how Pokémon won't obey your commands until you get more badges, a football manager needs to build up his knowledge as well by keeping up with his loicence. Unfortunately, boards are usually not so keen on giving you one. Even if they can afford it, giving a successful manager a better licence just increases the risk of him leaving for a bigger club. But now, Joe Hardman's reputation with the board and fans is as high as it'll ever be:

To further my theory that Football Manager is an RPG, we brute-force a persuasion check:

If Joe Hardman gets his noggin' joggin', he'll have his National B licence in no time!

Meanwhile, another signing to make the midfield competitive for this season:

With the first game against Vasas being played at home (albeit in Swansea again) in front of 800 fans, everyone hopes for a strong performance. But this opponent has a bit more to offer than Drita:

Although Drita is technically a professional team as well, their quality on the pitch was probably on par with any Cymru Premier mid-table side. With this Hungarian side, we face a modern, high-pressing European professional team for the first time, and it's not pretty. They press, we make mistakes, and they are ruthless in applying the finish. Although we manage to claw two goals back, by letting them get four away goals, the European campaign is likely over. The trip to Budapest doesn't quite carry the same sense of adventure. In the dressing room, Joe Hardman addresses the players: "Look lads, we already achieved the impossible just by being here. It would be a miracle if we can overturn a 4-2. But that's no reason to hang our heads. Let's not get routed here. Let's show them we're no pushovers, and give our travelling fans a night to remember!

Although we dont turn the tide, and the 7-4 defeat on aggregate is painful, it's a credit to the team that we don't get humiliated in front of 3,000 Hungarian fans. With the European fairy tale over, it's time to focus on the domestic competitions again. The dividend from simply being here is impressive:

- £85k for playing in the first round against Drita.
- £85k for playing in the second round against Vasas.
- £300k for being eliminated at this stage.
- £300k for participating in the Conference League.

But can this money be deployed quickly? The board seem to have different thoughts:

My brother in Christ, we are sitting on £685k. How much more security do you need?

But that patented Hardman charm wins the day again, and our wage budget is increased. But for the moment, the bookies again expect us to finish dead last.

Although the situation is not that dramatic, the season start isn't great either. The first 4 games produce 1 win, 1 draw and 2 defeats against Holywell and Colwyn Bay. September proves more successful, with 5 wins and 1 draw.

The rest of the pre-split season is very much a mixed bag. The strikers fail to find goals as easily as last season, and now we increasingly get carved open on the counter. It's a period of tactical experimentation, as Joe Hardman learns from his coaching course that there are actually other formations than just 4-4-2. 4-3-3 and diamond formations are attempted in this season with mixed results, but the idea is to be more than just a kick and rush, one-trick pony. However, the old tactic is still mostly used, since we don't yet have a quality defensive midfielder who could operate as an anchor behind the two creative players.

In November, after many headaches, Joe Hardman passes his exam and earns his new badge:

Joe's 100th game in charge of Briton Ferry is a special one: a 3-0 win against Colwyn Bay in the League Cup semi-final:

Optimism is also high for the Welsh Cup, but here we face a very harsh elimination in the fourth round:

With Joe Hardman's stature in the game increasing, the board know they have to hold on to a good thing:

Although Joe has been applying for teams that have sacked their managers, the response has been pretty poor. Throughout his life, Joe has seen his mates suffering in the hustle economy, getting by on zero-hour contracts. Although Briton Ferry is not a glamourous club, they have been tremendously good over the long run. Although he could try to make himself available for free, this would be a financially risky move. With the club guaranteeing him a decent income for 2 years, Joe decides it's better to be inside the tent pissing out, rather than vice versa, and accepts.

The club might also back Joe to further his education with an A licence, but here he seems to have reached the limits of their generosity:

"Actually, we would like to just keep you underqualified and dependent on us forever. Imagine actually being able to better yourself and offer yourself on the free market, that would just be crazy, right? Ah, if only we could go back to the olden days when children just started mining coal at the age of 10, and they could just be forced to spend their money at the company store. Now everyone wants to go out and 'spread their wings' and all that rubbish. Kids these days don't know how go--"

"No mate, you've got it all wrong, I'm not trying to leave, honest guv'. I just want to take the club to the next level! But to do that, I need to learn more about all these inverted full-backs and carry-larries and marsalas and all that bagel-dressing that these continental lads like Jurgen Klopp are doing."

"Oh, all right then, we'll take the risk. I don't know why I can't say no to you, Joe. Maybe it's just that rough, plebeian charm. Go get your A licence, son!"

But for a working-class lad like Joe, a bit of double dealing is nothing unusual. Some clubs are now interested in him, although most of them are teams that are about to get relegated from the English Vanarama North/South leagues, who have just sacked their managers. Since the Conference League campaign, Briton Ferry now simply have more money and opportunities than these teams, so they don't offer an immediate improvement, and they can't afford to buy out the 2-year contract that Joe has just signed. Perhaps with the A licence, there will be less shit teams seriously interested in our Joe, just as long as he keeps performing.

With the last 3 games before the split approaching, there are two back-to-back games against Barry Town on the Cymru Premier agenda. Although Briton Ferry are in pole position in 3rd place, the home game is a 1-1 draw, and the away game a 4-0 rout, the biggest defeat of Joe's career so far. It's not that they were much better on the pitch, but the finishing was simply woeful, and goalie Dutton was caught out of position for two long-distance shots. Although he has been far more dependable at stopping shots, and not so prone to make gut-wrenching punched clearances as Wilson was, Dutton's occasional lapses in positioning are a cause for concern. We do manage to eke out a creditable 1-1 draw against TNS, and in fact we had the better chances and would perhaps have won it on another day. Briton Ferry end the pre-split season in 5th place, which is not bad for relegation candidates, but disappointing considering where we were coming from.

With 10 games against the elite of the Cymru Premier (such as it is), there is a 5-point gap between us and that coveted European spot we conquered last season. A new target man, David Tarmey, is signed on to make us less toothless up front.

Before we start the conclusion of the league, there is still the matter of the League Cup final:

There is no European qualification hanging on this, so it's purely for the bragging rights, to get some historic silverware, the first for Briton Ferry since the Cymru South title. Bala Town are in the Cymru Premier with us, but they're dead last and seem set for relegation, unless they can recover during the last 10 games in the Playoff Conference. The cups have been their only saving grace in an otherwise terrible season, as they are in both the Welsh Cup quarter-final, and this League Cup final. They actually won the League Cup in 2022/23. Although they're the worst team in the league this season, we don't expect them to go down easily.

Very typical Briton Ferry this season: a turd of a first half, 2-0 down, lots of yelling in the dressing room, and a good comeback in the second half. Our new lad Tarmey comes off the bench to cut a through ball to Hazeldine, and we claw back one goal. Then in the 81st minute, Liam Williams pulls us alongside again. In the Welsh cup competitions, there is no extra time. The game goes to penalties right away after 90 minutes.

Our goalie Dutton's positioning may not be great, but his reflexes are why we bought him. He stops two penalties, even holding on to the ball on the second one. Although we needed penalties to do it, we've finally got our hands on a cup!

The League Cup earns us a paltry £10.78k, so to keep pushing the club forward, it's time to get our heads down for the last 10 games in the Championship Conference and secure that 3rd spot again. However, none of the Championship Conference teams are in the Welsh Cup quarter-finals. Even TNS have already been eliminated by Goytre, of all teams. If I understand the rules correctly, the European spot should then go to whatever unfancied side will win the bigger, more important Welsh Cup, and the no. 3 will still have to engage in some hot play-off action. But we'll see what happens.

All past and upcoming games this season:

 

[Andnjord]

Really puts things into perpective that you earned less money for your victories against Drita than Neymar was payed to tie his shoelaces.

 

[abnaxus]

New Saints used to be not that crappy. I remember they gave Legia Warszawa a good run for their money a decade ago (at home they led 1-0 at half time).

But judging from the past few years...

 

[Andnjord]

But judging from the past few years...

Come on, they got a convincing win against that San Marino team!

 

[wwsd]

They are really the biggest fish in a tiny Welsh pond. They're literally the only full-pro team. Any time I get their scalp in this FM save, or even just grind a draw out of them, is a victory all of its own. All the other money in Wales seems to be in clubs that play in the English League system. I assume there must simply be a very hard cut in terms of professionalism that makes the 2nd or 3rd round of any European club tournament a hard ceiling. All is well against teams from Gibraltar, N. Ireland, etc. (and that not even consistently), and then the moment they meet a team from Hungary or Sweden, it's automatically the end of the line. As it was for my Briton Ferry side which could literally only afford free transfers.

Speaking of countries with shitty leagues, I will be in Luxembourg for a long weekend, so no FM will be played, on pain of divorce. I hope to find a Portuguese bar or restaurant to see the second quarter-final with some crazy Portuguese, and of course sneak off to see the Dutch game. Other than that, no football-related activities. Joe Hardman will be back sometime in the middle of next week!

 

[wwsd]

Phew, time to shake off some match dust. This will probably be quick and dirty. Last time we checked, Briton Ferry had had a rather inconsistent season, but still managed to make it into the Championship Conference and win the League Cup. Although the League Cup mainly gets you bragging rights, a bit of silverware never hurts! But it's the Championship Conference, and possibly the play-offs, that will determine whether we get another European run. Will Briton Ferry find their form in time to get something more out of the season than just a general decent performance?

These two statistics sum up the season so far. Everything just a little bit too 'meh' for another European run. In fairness, this includes two games against TNS, so you can also say we've remained unbeaten against them for two games!

Joe Hardman continues his education, education, education! It already pays off dividends, as Scottish League One side Airdrieonians invite us for an interview:

"You've developed a reputation for applying for other jobs while still employed. What's that all about?"

"I'm just trying to get ahead guv', what else am I supposed to do?"

"Are you willing to assure us that you'd do a better job of maintaining a good dressing room atmosphere here than previous managers did?"

"Assure you? I can promise you. If these lads aren't prepared to die for each other while screaming FREEDOOOOMMMM!!!! at the top of their lungs after six months, you can sack me too."

"... We'll get back to you."

The board ask us which of their backroom staff we want to keep, and allow us to suggest which ones can be replaced by our Briton Ferry staff, or simply sacked so a replacement can be found later. It all looks very optimistic, but then:

...Yeah. Expect a lot of this in the near future. I won't screencap it all. But now that we've gotten to the point where clubs are actually willing to interview with us, we'll get a lot of questions about how dare we apply for multiple jobs at a time? The degrading experience reminds Joe Hardman of many depressing mornings at Jobcentre, or job interviews at temp agencies to keep his benefits. The probing questions, the temp agency's intern escorting him to the exit to make sure he didn't steal any company pens or mints, the on-hold music when calling Universal Credit, the implied idea that a man like him, with no uni degree, should just be thrown into a wood chipper, but society is doing him a favour by letting him beg for crumbs in the gig economy... No, no more! Joe Hardman will never go back to Greggs! He'll keep his head down, smile politely through these interviews, keep doing his studies, and enjoy the time on the pitch with Briton Ferry in the meantime. The moment will come.

The board has been buck-broken, and they no longer even question our requests for new badges. Why exactly it's not possible for the manager to save up the £960 himself is something that will never be adequately explained, but it would remove a bit of tension from the early journeyman game, so let's accept it for what it is. After all, as the famously hard-working politicians have said, "Britons are amongst the worst idlers in the world". So it stands to reason that a yobbo like Joe wouldn't even save his money, but just spend it on lager and sausage rolls, thus becoming a future burden on the NHS. Right? Right???

On the pitch, things are not progressing so well either. There are no wins from the first 6 games in the Championship Conference:

It seems we've reached a dead end with our tactic. While it worked great to overwhelm the weaker Cymru South teams in the first season, and our ballsy playing shocked many in the Cymru Premier as well, they have adapted and found ways to carve us open. More and more often, we are faced with 4-3-3 or 4-2-3-1 opponents with pacey wingers like the beautifully named James James. Joe has paid attention in his studies, but a different formation brings risks. Let's keep it basic for now:

Something weird happened that I'm generally puzzled by. Our loanee central midfielder, Keane Hazeldine from Wrexham, suddenly disappeared from our squad and showed up at Blackpool in England. Obviously they sold him, which is fine, but for some reason I didn't get the notification. Shame, as he was just getting good. Anyway, we bring in Alfie Lee to play in that holding midfielder position, and make do with Bevan as one of the central pair. We'll sign improvements next season. Hardman-ball becomes Tiki Taka Joe? I couldn't possibly comment, but there will be a bit more triangles, a bit more of this notion that the ball can also move on the floor instead of just in the air.

To keep our team competitive in the Premier, we sign Joe Rabbetts on left-back:

He's no Roberto Carlos, but at least he can run down the left flank and put in a cross a bit better than Perry. In real life, he plays with Dorking but has been loaned out quite a bit. Here he is in Dorking's shirt. Dorking are currently shilling the Hex shitcoin:

Another job interview in Scotland, this time from Arbroath. The same routine. Arbroath are dead last in the Scottish Championship. Although the Championship doesn't bring chances of European spots, it's infinitely more professional and with more money going around than any club in the Cymru Premier except TNS. If Joe comes in right now and saves them from relegation, it would be the coup of the century. Being in the Scottish League One wouldn't be terrible either if the club can bounce back immediately. The interview goes well, but in the end, they too opt for another manager, who fails to save Arbroath from the drop. Up yours, Arbroath!

The new 4-3-3 system pays immediate dividends, with 3-1 away wins at both Pontypridd and Newtown. Alas, this is followed by a 3-0 home defeat against Colwyn Bay, and a 2-2 draw against Connah's Quay. Both games that we could have gotten more out of.

We finish 5th, which is not bad at all considering that most of the Conference League money has not even been deployed yet. You can see that Barry Town in 7th place actually accumulated slightly more points than us, but they can't overtake us because of the league split.

Finally, the board gives Joe something to work with:

The last chance at European qualification comes from the play-offs. These are played in one leg only, and seeding determines whether you play at home or away. We are drawn for the away game at Connah's Quay. Not an easy away game at all it seems, but then...

Yes! This guy manages to get two yellow cards after only 10 minutes of play! Will we be able to capitalise?

The answer is no. Despite 10-man Connah's Quay failing to get a single shot, and us dominating the entire game and creating chance after chance, their goalie beats us both in regular playing time, and on penalties.

It is a fitting ending to a season where we weren't bad at all, but the finishing touch was lacking. The team spirit has been fine all season, we won the League Cup, but our opponents were able to counter us better, and the finishing was often woeful. Despite getting many chances at European football, including these play-offs, last season's success is not repeated. The switch to 4-3-3 does pay dividends. With a bigger budget being deployed for next season, with creative midfielders, better wingers and a top-class striker, we should be able to do better.

Tamworth and Alfreton, both Vanarama North teams, invite Joe for interviews, but don't hire him in the end. With one more year remaining on our contract, and the Continental C loicence coming soon, hopefully we'll be able to attract more and better clubs, either during the summer transfer window, or later in the season, when the first wave of sackings begins.

Another new experience: the taxman wants a piece of our Conference League profits! But at least the Briton Ferry shirt has become a bit more attractive for sponsors:

This is where we'll leave it for now. What will the next season bring?