WHO IS THE BEST WAIFU IN CRPG HISTORY?

[Thac0]

If Mass Effect is in I demand Rose of Sharon Cassidy from New Vegas!

Also the Doll from Bloodborne and the Priestess from Dark Souls if we wanna go that lenient

 

[zwanzig_zwoelf]

A sweet woman who raised a CRPG player and most likely helped him play games when he was a kid and cooked great food for him so he gets his vitamins and nutrients.

Of course, I'm talking about...

Spoiler

...you guessed it right, this is a yo mama joke post.

 

[Rat King]

If Mass Effect is in I demand Rose of Sharon Cassidy from New Vegas!

Also the Doll from Bloodborne and the Priestess from Dark Souls if we wanna go that lenient

Those aren't romanceable though! (but rose definitely wants your dick)

 

[Zboj Lamignat]

where are moderators

Don't know why you'd want to romance them, but this here is an open-minded board so don't feel bad.

 

[Kalin]

 

[Rat King]

A sweet woman who raised a CRPG player and most likely helped him play games when he was a kid and cooked great food for him so he gets his vitamins and nutrients.

Of course, I'm talking about...

Spoiler

...you guessed it right, this is a yo mama joke post.

But rats can't even cook.

 

[Gerrard]

Odessa, AC: Odyssey

Since when does assassins creed have romances wtf?

What the fuck is this? Where's Avellone? Where are the Planescape girls, where is the Thay slut, where's the clumsy girl from Neverwinter. Where is Rance's Harem. Where am I? Am I having a hart attack?
Help.

Don't know what you're talking about.

PLANESCAPE BITCHES

ALSO:

That succubus wasn't romancable though right?

Neither was Neeshka, because of muh deadlines.

 

[zwanzig_zwoelf]

A sweet woman who raised a CRPG player and most likely helped him play games when he was a kid and cooked great food for him so he gets his vitamins and nutrients.

Of course, I'm talking about...

Spoiler

...you guessed it right, this is a yo mama joke post.

But rats can't even cook.

But they drop gold when you kill them.
Ergo, they need it to buy food.
Ergo, they cook.
Ergo, you're trying to bamboozle me and steal my gold when I'm not looking.

 

[RRRrrr]

I remember wanting to have sex with the Diablo 2 sorceress. One of the most sexually erotic experiences in my life so far and probably ever is helping a sorceress on Battlenet kill Andariel, I presumed I was helping a chick since the character was female, i.e. a sorceress.

Edit Thac0 what is this "old" rating you cuck I am pouring my soul here sharing my most intimate experiences with (presumably?) a woman, how fucking dare you. I was playing a paladin, so it would have been a little interracial, too. God, I was really adventurous back in the day.

Edit 2: Oh yeah that whore is still sexy

 

[Gangrelrumbler]

A sweet woman who raised a CRPG player and most likely helped him play games when he was a kid and cooked great food for him so he gets his vitamins and nutrients.

Of course, I'm talking about...

Spoiler

...you guessed it right, this is a yo mama joke post.

But rats can't even cook.

 

[Rat King]

A sweet woman who raised a CRPG player and most likely helped him play games when he was a kid and cooked great food for him so he gets his vitamins and nutrients.

Of course, I'm talking about...

Spoiler

...you guessed it right, this is a yo mama joke post.

But rats can't even cook.

View attachment 13245

I have been outplayed by the both of you. This was all an elaborate ploy to whore out the waifus so I can get money and buy the ingredients for ratatouille.

 

[Lagole Gon]

'Sup Fluent.

 

[RRRrrr]

Also, I hate the fixation with RPG romances. They set unrealistic expectations of having sex. They are also morally wrong, since sex is too intimate to involve another person.

 

[Gangrelrumbler]

Speaking of waifus. Why can't I romance halflings in any game they appear in? What the fuck is wrong with those people? Same goes for dwarves and gnomes. What the fuck is going on. Are developers racist against all races smaller than an elf? I think the only time in any vidya you could bone a dwarf was Dragon Commander.

 

[MasPingon]

 

[Rat King]

Speaking of waifus. Why can't I romance halflings in any game they appear in? What the fuck is wrong with those people? Same goes for dwarves and gnomes. What the fuck is going on. Are developers racist against all races smaller than an elf? I think the only time in any vidya you could bone a dwarf was Dragon Commander.

I think it's because they can look like children sometimes. Also not a lot of people want to fuck midgets for some shitty reason.

 

[Gangrelrumbler]

Speaking of waifus. Why can't I romance halflings in any game they appear in? What the fuck is wrong with those people? Same goes for dwarves and gnomes. What the fuck is going on. Are developers racist against all races smaller than an elf? I think the only time in any vidya you could bone a dwarf was Dragon Commander.

I think it's because they can look like children sometimes. Also not a lot of people want to fuck midgets for some shitty reason.

If only someone made a trilogy of hit movies where hobbits and dwarves don't look like children or midgets.

 

[Rat King]

Speaking of waifus. Why can't I romance halflings in any game they appear in? What the fuck is wrong with those people? Same goes for dwarves and gnomes. What the fuck is going on. Are developers racist against all races smaller than an elf? I think the only time in any vidya you could bone a dwarf was Dragon Commander.

I think it's because they can look like children sometimes. Also not a lot of people want to fuck midgets for some shitty reason.

If only someone made a trilogy of hit movies where hobbits and dwarves don't look like children or midgets.

Never gonna happen dude

 

[Lawntoilet]

Speaking of waifus. Why can't I romance halflings in any game they appear in? What the fuck is wrong with those people? Same goes for dwarves and gnomes. What the fuck is going on. Are developers racist against all races smaller than an elf? I think the only time in any vidya you could bone a dwarf was Dragon Commander.

I think it's because they can look like children sometimes. Also not a lot of people want to fuck midgets for some shitty reason.

"Look like children":

Redhead Dwarf qts are underrepresented and that's a real disgrace

 

[lefthandblack]

Morrigan, because you fuck her, knock her up and then she goes away and never bothers you again.

 

[Rat King]

Speaking of waifus. Why can't I romance halflings in any game they appear in? What the fuck is wrong with those people? Same goes for dwarves and gnomes. What the fuck is going on. Are developers racist against all races smaller than an elf? I think the only time in any vidya you could bone a dwarf was Dragon Commander.

I think it's because they can look like children sometimes. Also not a lot of people want to fuck midgets for some shitty reason.

"Look like children":

Redhead Dwarf qts are underrepresented and that's a real disgrace

Alright, good argument but consider this; if your character has high charisma (and thus a big cock as discussed in another thread) you will kill the dwarf by fucking it. It is inhumane!

 

[Lawntoilet]

Speaking of waifus. Why can't I romance halflings in any game they appear in? What the fuck is wrong with those people? Same goes for dwarves and gnomes. What the fuck is going on. Are developers racist against all races smaller than an elf? I think the only time in any vidya you could bone a dwarf was Dragon Commander.

I think it's because they can look like children sometimes. Also not a lot of people want to fuck midgets for some shitty reason.

"Look like children":

Redhead Dwarf qts are underrepresented and that's a real disgrace

Alright, good argument but consider this; if your character has high charisma (and thus a big cock as discussed in another thread) you will kill the dwarf by fucking it. It is inhumane!

That would explain the Dwarf racial penalty to Charisma I guess.
On the other hand, Dwarf ladies have big birthing hips which implies they have big babies which goes against that line of thinking entirely.

 

[Rat King]

Speaking of waifus. Why can't I romance halflings in any game they appear in? What the fuck is wrong with those people? Same goes for dwarves and gnomes. What the fuck is going on. Are developers racist against all races smaller than an elf? I think the only time in any vidya you could bone a dwarf was Dragon Commander.

I think it's because they can look like children sometimes. Also not a lot of people want to fuck midgets for some shitty reason.

"Look like children":

Redhead Dwarf qts are underrepresented and that's a real disgrace

Alright, good argument but consider this; if your character has high charisma (and thus a big cock as discussed in another thread) you will kill the dwarf by fucking it. It is inhumane!

That would explain the Dwarf racial penalty to Charisma I guess.
On the other hand, Dwarf ladies have big birthing hips which implies they have big babies which goes against that line of thinking entirely.

They have thicc hips, yes. But do they have loose vaginas? That is the question we must ask ourselves, brother.

 

[Gangrelrumbler]

Speaking of waifus. Why can't I romance halflings in any game they appear in? What the fuck is wrong with those people? Same goes for dwarves and gnomes. What the fuck is going on. Are developers racist against all races smaller than an elf? I think the only time in any vidya you could bone a dwarf was Dragon Commander.

I think it's because they can look like children sometimes. Also not a lot of people want to fuck midgets for some shitty reason.

"Look like children":

Redhead Dwarf qts are underrepresented and that's a real disgrace

Alright, good argument but consider this; if your character has high charisma (and thus a big cock as discussed in another thread) you will kill the dwarf by fucking it. It is inhumane!

Dwarves gets bonus to con which means bonus HP, you are more likely to fuck an elf to death.
Funny how 100+ years old elves pedophiles fucking humans who are in their twenties were never a problem.

 

[Lawntoilet]

They have thicc hips, yes. But do they have loose vaginas? That is the question we must ask ourselves, brother.

Are you familiar with the ouevre of one Bridget the Midget, perchance? You might find it enlightening with regards to your argument.