Baldur's Gate Baldur's Cringe 3 compilation thread

[MerchantKing]

The entire sex/pick your dick thing was a marketing ploy by Larian because they know their audience. Same as with CP77. It's easy to implement and gets you brownie points with the usual suspects.

This is the thumbnail on Angryjoes Impressions video for BG3. Tells you everything you need to know about what gamers actually find appealing about this trash game.

You can't help but stop and laugh at the tards who thought this game was somehow going to be a win for turn based combat and cRPGs. Of all the "innovations" that these tards on the Codex claim BG3 has, just remember one thing; 90% of the people playing the game don't give a shit about any of it. ^THIS is what progress for video games looks like in their eyes.

I don't really see any of these alleged innovations. There seems to be nothing new in the combat when compared to tactical combat games that have come out in the last decades. It's just 5e with barrelmancy and a few questionable rule changes. Dialogue is the usual mostly flavor-text fake options with reactivity being mostly just maybe having a race/class option that's mostly just more flavortext and something you'd see in say a kotor game or something like that where you get an npc do something for you later.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Man, one thing I have to say, I hate what WotC and Larian did with goblins and other bestial races, the whole purpose of shit like orcs, goblins and etc is to be the Other, the mysterious evil henchmen of the terrifying villain.

What the fuck are you even talking about.

There's nothing mysterious about goblins. There's never been anything mysterious about goblins. They are evil little shits you give wedgies to at low levels. This is the purpose of their existence. They are evil, and you kick in their door and steal everything they own with the justification that they are evil.

BG 3 Act 1 goblins are perfectly functional goblins. They are dicks to you until you give them a wedgie and show you are a bigger bully and then they kind of begrudgingly respect you. And when they are not trying to bully you they spend their time roasting Volo and torturing gnomes for fun. Top goblin.

It was my impression at first that they are more humanized and less animalistic than some other representations.
Faces seem more human-like. They speak english better than some people living in England!

But then the game kind of forced me to kill goblin kids. And maybe throw them into a pool of burning oil.
So I guess humanization wasn't really the intention...

Good times!

 

[Iucounu]

It was my impression at first that they are more humanized and less animalistic than some other representations.
Faces seem more human-like. They speak english better than some people living in England!

But then the game kind of forced me to kill goblin kids. And maybe throw them into a pool of burning oil.
So I guess humanization wasn't really the intention...

It could be intentional. Isn't that what The Last Of Us 2 wanted to do, make you emphatize with the enemy so that you'd then feel bad having to kill them?

 

[Longes]

It was my impression at first that they are more humanized and less animalistic than some other representations.
Faces seem more human-like. They speak english better than some people living in England!

But then the game kind of forced me to kill goblin kids. And maybe throw them into a pool of burning oil.
So I guess humanization wasn't really the intention...

It could be intentional. Isn't that what The Last Of Us 2 wanted to do, make you emphatize with the enemy so that you'd then feel bad having to kill them?

That definitely doesn't happen.
The first friendly goblin you are likely to meet (Saaza, the prisoner in the grove) will double-cross you and try to get you killed. The guard at the goblin camp demands you smear shit on your face before he lets you pass. In the goblin camp, the goblins are making Volo read bad impromptu poetry about how cool goblins are, tormenting an owlbear cub, and roasting a dwarf carcass on the spit. Like, yeah, there's one goblin who secretly wants to write a book better than Volo's but doesn't because he's suffering from toxic goblininity. But that hardly outweighs 99% of the goblins trying to kill you, humiliate you, or humiliate you before killing you.

 

[Zed Duke of Banville]

So I'm going to join my first D&D campaign this weekend, I'm super stoked. My plan is to play a Human Wizard - I know, cliché, but I have a killer idea for a background. He will be a wizarding prodigy, so good at magic that he even draws the attention of Mystra herself. She teaches him how to make the most of his potential, and they embark upon a romantic, sexual relationship. They will pass many happy years together, with my Wizard enjoying the simple life in Waterdeep in his grand wizard tower, with his cat, fine wine, and many books to keep him company when his goddess girlfriend isn't around. All goes well until my Wizard, in a desperate attempt to win Mystra's love and trust for all eternity - unleashes a fragment of weave that was lost to Mystra that is capable of erasing all magic from existence.

To save the world, my Wizard absorbs this fragment temporarily. But wait! To contain it, he will have to absorb some of the magical items we will find on our campaign. He also will not be able to be killed permanently, for if he does the fragment in him will explode like an atomic bomb causing a TPK. I think this could lead to some very interesting scenarios in our campaign. Of course it'll need to be cured at some point. I've already got a story hook planned out where the famous wizard Elminster seeks our adventuring group out to help us deal with the problem. In the end my plan is for my Wizard to gain control over this fragment and become a demigod.

What do you think guys, will my DM like it?

Sounds like a typical 1st-level player-character in the game calling itself "D&D 5th edition".

 

[Erebus]

Warcraft 2 human narrator was better.

Warcraft 2 human narrator is better than everyone.

 

[Elttharion]

The local degenerates jerking off to this trash are in good company. Hopefully any retard unironically playing this does the right thing and joins the IGN tranny when he kills himself.

Dark Souls, Xcom, The Banner Saga, FLT, Shadowrun, Legend of Grimrock, Darkest Dungeon, and many others helped expand the horizons of what RPGs can be ... I dont think you could have sucesfully released Disco Elysium, Citizem Sleeper or Baldurs Gate 3 back in 2011 (Felipe Pep, Author 'The Crpg Book')

This is the specialist on Rpgs and Crpgs IGN used as a source for parts of the video.

 

[Frozen]

I don't know what is happening here but Days of our lives seems cool and interesting in regards.

 

[MerchantKing]

I don't know what is happening here but Days of our lives seems cool and interesting in regards.

We need a mod to make this sodomite less effeminate so the bioware cutscenes will be less repulsive.

 

[Nortar]

New BG3 merch is available.

Spoiler

 

[Reinhardt]

It was my impression at first that they are more humanized and less animalistic than some other representations.
Faces seem more human-like. They speak english better than some people living in England!

But then the game kind of forced me to kill goblin kids. And maybe throw them into a pool of burning oil.
So I guess humanization wasn't really the intention...

It could be intentional. Isn't that what The Last Of Us 2 wanted to do, make you emphatize with the enemy so that you'd then feel bad having to kill them?

That definitely doesn't happen.
The first friendly goblin you are likely to meet (Saaza, the prisoner in the grove) will double-cross you and try to get you killed. The guard at the goblin camp demands you smear shit on your face before he lets you pass. In the goblin camp, the goblins are making Volo read bad impromptu poetry about how cool goblins are, tormenting an owlbear cub, and roasting a dwarf carcass on the spit. Like, yeah, there's one goblin who secretly wants to write a book better than Volo's but doesn't because he's suffering from toxic goblininity. But that hardly outweighs 99% of the goblins trying to kill you, humiliate you, or humiliate you before killing you.

never happened to me. i just chose "attack" at first available opportunity. my only regret is i killed only one gobbo kid, then remaining fled.
and were killed by bear druid in the jail later.

 

[Nifft Batuff]

 

[Zeltak]

This isn't cringe, this is the only funny thing coming out of that romance shit.

 

[La vie sexuelle]

They picked the most baffling fucking place to stick the Trans Positivity Did I Mention That I'm Trans Yet npc ever. NPC awkwardly voiced by PhilosophyTube. The "validate your identity" NPC is in the church of Shar. The organization that brainwashed and groomed Shadowheart, and deprived her of her identity to suit the organization's whims.

I'd almost say "based" if I didn't know any better.

Don't forget Lucretious, drag circus owner.

 

[Nifft Batuff]

This isn't cringe, this is the only funny thing coming out of that romance shit.

Indeed I wasn't sure in which thread to post it

 

[Cryomancer]

The mod which makes Wyll white was removed from Baizuo's Gate 3 nexus mod page

 

[Longes]

They picked the most baffling fucking place to stick the Trans Positivity Did I Mention That I'm Trans Yet npc ever. NPC awkwardly voiced by PhilosophyTube. The "validate your identity" NPC is in the church of Shar. The organization that brainwashed and groomed Shadowheart, and deprived her of her identity to suit the organization's whims.

I'd almost say "based" if I didn't know any better.

Don't forget Lucretious, drag circus owner.

Lucretious is in a literal circus and doesn't spend her entire conversation time talking about being a drag queen. In fact Lucretius mentions or implies this exactly zero times. You just have to know that she's being voiced by a dude.

Nocturne is giving a "Choosing my identity is awesome!" spiel in the temple of a church that is into abusing people by grooming children and manipulating their identities.

 

[Reinhardt]

They picked the most baffling fucking place to stick the Trans Positivity Did I Mention That I'm Trans Yet npc ever. NPC awkwardly voiced by PhilosophyTube. The "validate your identity" NPC is in the church of Shar. The organization that brainwashed and groomed Shadowheart, and deprived her of her identity to suit the organization's whims.

I'd almost say "based" if I didn't know any better.

Don't forget Lucretious, drag circus owner.

Lucretious is in a literal circus and doesn't spend her entire conversation time talking about being a drag queen. In fact Lucretius mentions or implies this exactly zero times. You just have to know that she's being voiced by a dude.

Nocturne is giving a "Choosing my identity is awesome!" spiel in the temple of a church that is into abusing people by grooming children and manipulating their identities.

like having literal horned devil thingy in a church is not enough hint

 

[Lagole Gon]

They picked the most baffling fucking place to stick the Trans Positivity Did I Mention That I'm Trans Yet npc ever. NPC awkwardly voiced by PhilosophyTube. The "validate your identity" NPC is in the church of Shar. The organization that brainwashed and groomed Shadowheart, and deprived her of her identity to suit the organization's whims.

I'd almost say "based" if I didn't know any better.

Don't forget Lucretious, drag circus owner.

But circus is appropriate place for a character like this.

This is both, a joke and a serious post.

 

[jaekl]

Yes of course I know they paid all these freaks and put them in the game and advertised with them but if you weren't such a FOOL, you'd know that they're actually secretly against them. Simply look at the real true subliminal signs added by such writers as Beadelaire Welch and Chrystal Dings.

 

[Longes]

Yes of course I know they paid all these freaks and put them in the game and advertised with them but if you weren't such a FOOL, you'd know that they're actually secretly against them. Simply look at the real true subliminal signs added by such writers as Beadelaire Welch and Chrystal Dings.

And the people who said that - are they in the thread with us right now?

 

[jaekl]

Yes of course I know they paid all these freaks and put them in the game and advertised with them but if you weren't such a FOOL, you'd know that they're actually secretly against them. Simply look at the real true subliminal signs added by such writers as Beadelaire Welch and Chrystal Dings.

And the people who said that - are they in the thread with us right now?

I said that, my pronouns are he/him tyvm

 

[Iucounu]

Yes of course I know they paid all these freaks and put them in the game and advertised with them but if you weren't such a FOOL, you'd know that they're actually secretly against them. Simply look at the real true subliminal signs added by such writers as Beadelaire Welch and Chrystal Dings.

"Secretly" may imply that they are consciously aware of it, waging a kind of guerilla warfare against the Woke cult. Could well be true in some cases. But I think the majority are just completely out of touch with their own feelings and beliefs, so any subliminal signs are more Freudian slips than deliberate sabotage. It's well known that SJWs project their own suppressed opinions on everybody else.

 

[GaelicVigil]

Another cringe of BG3: why are goblins Lawful Evil instead of Neutral Evil (which they have always been in the past)?

My brother and I were scratching our heads when we realized we could just talk our way into the goblin camp instead of killing them all. Since when do goblins just let strangers wander around their villages like this? This is not D&D.

 

[Longes]

Another cringe of BG3: why are goblins Lawful Evil instead of Neutral Evil (which they have always been in the past)?

My brother and I were scratching our heads when we realized we could just talk our way into the goblin camp instead of killing them all. Since when do goblins just let strangers wander around their villages like this? This is not D&D.

I'm not sure how you identified them as "Lawful Evil" considering alignment isn't a thing at all in the game.

As for why you are let into the camp - these goblins are run by the drow/Absolute and hobgoblins, and are already working with the ogre mercenaries and the zhentarim. What's one human more?