NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Caim]

That's one way to keep your kids from playing console trash.

 

[Fedora Master]

 

[ELEXmakesMeHard]

The numbering... what drives humans to do this...

 

[El Presidente]

 

[El Presidente]

This really is one of the most amusing images of all times if you know what you're looking at, it'll always make me at least smile. I don't know if there's a single person around here who doesn't recognize this ( ) but, this was a speech that in-character Garriott was about to give to a small crowd in UO way back in its early days, when someone came along and cast a firewall spell that instantly killed Lord British. IIRC he had access to an invincibility spell but didn't use it for some dumb reason. Lord Blackthorn (played by someone else, I think Starr Long) was also there, got butthurt and summoned some monsters to kill the assassin, but the guy ran away and the monsters instead killed all the other attendees. One of the funniest shitshows in the history of online games.


I especially like the

"I think your invincible, that fire didn't hurt you or Blackthorn..."
*3 sec later*
"LB is dead!!!"

And the green text (Garriott?) doing a philosophical speech on the nature of Chaos and someone else on light green saying "Yike" right above it

And of course the classic "HE DIED"

Good stuff. A frame from good old days that sadly won't come back.

Fun fact, Garriott in his infinite faggotry and butthurtness actually doesn't think this story is funny and in fact permabanned the assassin shortly after it, supposedly for "exploiting glitches" or some other bullshit.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

It's a great story, a lot of coincidences that prevented this from ending with a fizzle.

https://massivelyop.com/2015/10/03/the-game-archaeologist-the-assassination-of-lord-british/

tl;dr this was shortly after a server crash and reset and LB forgot to turn on his usual dev invincibility toggle, the guards were disabled to prevent lag during the event (stress test), and the assassin was bored and playing on his thief alt so noticing the lack of guards he decided to pick pockets and found a scroll. Supposedly the guy had a history of griefing and exploit abuse and the assassinaton made him famous enough for the mods to get off their asses.

Luckily my character was a good thief who had high stealing skill,” he explained. “I desperately searched the backpacks of those around me and eventually came upon a fire field scroll. After that it was pretty simple: I just cast the scroll on the bridge and waited to see what would happen. Either [Lord British] or Blackthorne made the comment, ‘Hehe nice try!’ — I can’t recall exactly who. It was a humorous sight and I expected to be struck down by lightning or have some other evil fate befall me. Instead I heard a loud death grunt as British slumped to his death. [...] It was a total shock. I stared at his corpse in disbelief then burst out in laughter […] After that it was just pure mayhem, Blackthorne or another force summoned four demons into the castle and people were dying left and right.

When it happened, I was in shock and disbelief. I did not know what to do. I could no longer speak. I could not resurrect myself. I was in my office alone. Fortunately someone in QA could see me and resurrected me. Then the team decided to kill everyone, as we did not know yet that it was Rainz.

 

[Azalin]

It's a great story, a lot of coincidences that prevented this from ending with a fizzle.

https://massivelyop.com/2015/10/03/the-game-archaeologist-the-assassination-of-lord-british/

tl;dr this was shortly after a server crash and reset and LB forgot to turn on his usual dev invincibility toggle, the guards were disabled to prevent lag during the event (stress test), and the assassin was bored and playing on his thief alt so noticing the lack of guards he decided to pick pockets and found a scroll. Supposedly the guy had a history of griefing and exploit abuse and the assassinaton made him famous enough for the mods to get off their asses.

Luckily my character was a good thief who had high stealing skill,” he explained. “I desperately searched the backpacks of those around me and eventually came upon a fire field scroll. After that it was pretty simple: I just cast the scroll on the bridge and waited to see what would happen. Either [Lord British] or Blackthorne made the comment, ‘Hehe nice try!’ — I can’t recall exactly who. It was a humorous sight and I expected to be struck down by lightning or have some other evil fate befall me. Instead I heard a loud death grunt as British slumped to his death. [...] It was a total shock. I stared at his corpse in disbelief then burst out in laughter […] After that it was just pure mayhem, Blackthorne or another force summoned four demons into the castle and people were dying left and right.

When it happened, I was in shock and disbelief. I did not know what to do. I could no longer speak. I could not resurrect myself. I was in my office alone. Fortunately someone in QA could see me and resurrected me. Then the team decided to kill everyone, as we did not know yet that it was Rainz.

You didn't post the entire screenshot that has Blackthorn's lines too

It's also made funnier by the fact that Lord British was alsmost impossible to kill in the single player games and can be done is some only using some very specific means

 

[Caim]

The numbering... what drives humans to do this...

 

[JarlFrank]

The numbering... what drives humans to do this...

Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman Contracts
Hitman Blood Money
Hitman Absolution
Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman 3

 

[lightbane]

Wasn't there that official studio that normies got scared if they saw a number bigger than 5 or so? Or at least American ones *looks at Final Fantasy games*

 

[Hoaxmetal]

Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman Contracts
Hitman Blood Money
Hitman Absolution
Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman 3

 

[Caim]

The numbering... what drives humans to do this...

Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman Contracts
Hitman Blood Money
Hitman Absolution
Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman 3

Star Wars: Dark Forces
Star Wars: Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight
Star Wars: Dark Forces III: Jedi Knight II: Mysteries of the Sith
Star Wars: Dark Forces IV: Jedi Knight III: Jedi Outcast
Star Wars: Dark Forces V: Jedi Knight: IV: Jedi Outcast II: Jedi Academy

 

[abnaxus]

 

[Fedora Master]

Not sure what happened here but Sonic would be envious:

Spoiler

 

[markec]

 

[Suicidal]

The numbering... what drives humans to do this...

Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman Contracts
Hitman Blood Money
Hitman Absolution
Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman 3

Star Wars: Dark Forces
Star Wars: Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight
Star Wars: Dark Forces III: Jedi Knight II: Mysteries of the Sith
Star Wars: Dark Forces IV: Jedi Knight III: Jedi Outcast
Star Wars: Dark Forces V: Jedi Knight: IV: Jedi Outcast II: Jedi Academy

Kingdom Hearts I
Kingdom Hearts: Re: Chain of Memories
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts: Re:coded
Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days
Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep
Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance
Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep -A fragmentary passage-
Kingdom Hearts: χ Back Cover
Kingdom Hearts 3

Note: I never played these shit games, but saw people mocking the names online on multiple occasions.

 

[Sukhāvatī]

The numbering... what drives humans to do this...

Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman Contracts
Hitman Blood Money
Hitman Absolution
Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman 3

Star Wars: Dark Forces
Star Wars: Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight
Star Wars: Dark Forces III: Jedi Knight II: Mysteries of the Sith
Star Wars: Dark Forces IV: Jedi Knight III: Jedi Outcast
Star Wars: Dark Forces V: Jedi Knight: IV: Jedi Outcast II: Jedi Academy

Kingdom Hearts I
Kingdom Hearts: Re: Chain of Memories
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts: Re:coded
Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days
Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep
Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance
Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep -A fragmentary passage-
Kingdom Hearts: χ Back Cover
Kingdom Hearts 3

Note: I never played these shit games, but saw people mocking the names online on multiple occasions.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

The numbering... what drives humans to do this...

Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman Contracts
Hitman Blood Money
Hitman Absolution
Hitman
Hitman 2
Hitman 3

Star Wars: Dark Forces
Star Wars: Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight
Star Wars: Dark Forces III: Jedi Knight II: Mysteries of the Sith
Star Wars: Dark Forces IV: Jedi Knight III: Jedi Outcast
Star Wars: Dark Forces V: Jedi Knight: IV: Jedi Outcast II: Jedi Academy

Kingdom Hearts I
Kingdom Hearts: Re: Chain of Memories
Kingdom Hearts II
Kingdom Hearts: Re:coded
Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days
Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep
Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance
Kingdom Hearts 0.2 Birth by Sleep -A fragmentary passage-
Kingdom Hearts: χ Back Cover
Kingdom Hearts 3

Note: I never played these shit games, but saw people mocking the names online on multiple occasions.

Sea Dogs
Sea Dogs: Pirates of the Caribbean
Sea Dogs : Pirates of the Caribbean : Age of Pirates
Sea Dogs : Pirates of the Caribbean : Age of Pirates : City of Abandoned Ships

 

[Modron]

I'd say inconsistent numbering is better than no numbering

The Blackwell Legacy
Blackwell Unbound
Blackwell Convergence
Blackwell Deception
Blackwell Epiphany

I guess after the first game and the prequel sequel Gilbert went with alphabetical titles at least.

Edit: The name Gilbert chooses when he revivies the series can only be Blackwell Forever, nothing else would be acceptable.

 

[Fedora Master]

 

[Cyberarmy]

Sea Dogs
Sea Dogs: Pirates of the Caribbean
Sea Dogs : Pirates of the Caribbean : Age of Pirates
Sea Dogs : Pirates of the Caribbean : Age of Pirates : City of Abandoned Ships

Sea Dogs : Pirates of the Caribbean : Age of Pirates : City of Abandoned Ships: Fountain of Youth

 

[Gaslov]

I'm glad I was invited to this place. Finally some sanity on the internet.

 

[JarlFrank]

 

[Infinitron]

 

[The Decline]

Missing part of the backstory, the bottom one was fucked in the ass by an aids riddled chinese bugman.