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NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

Lord Chambers

Erudite
Joined
Jan 23, 2006
Messages
1,018
BRAIN

MELTING

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... 560892&hl=

The general idea is this; if you find yourself being bored with Oblivion try roleplaying a character. There are tons of different characters that you can roleplay. Here are some ideas.

Marksman- I would use a Wood Elf (Bosmer) for this kind of character. After all, they are the legendary marksmen of Valenwood.

Warrior- I would pick an Orc, Imperial, Nord, or Redguard. This character generally uses heavy armor and a claymore. You can also join the Fighters Guild for a good income.

Monk- These characters use restoration magic mostly and are not fighters. The Mages Guild would be appropriate for this character.

Town Guard- This character is very fun to play as. However, you will have to either steal the armor, or murder a guard for it. Once you have the armor you can pick out a patrol route and follow it.

Ranger- My personal favorite, these characters live off the land. Proficient in melee and marksman skills. They tend to not use any magic, save for the occasional healing spell. I recommend picking an Imperial for this persona.

Nightblade- This character specializes in stealth, illusion, and mysticism. Argonians and Khajiit's are the preferred race for this role.

Assassin- Argonians are suited for this persona. They are the natural assassins and can become Shadowscales if the Shadow birthsign is chosen. One thing to remember is this; just because you are an assassin doesn't mean you have to join the Dark Brotherhood. Although all of the other guilds don't really fit this character.

Thief- Characters that use the shadow to steal from people. You can play as a Robin Hood character and support the beggars. You can also use thievery as a hobby, or as a way of making money. I would say that any race is good for this character.
This is a very small list of characters. The combinations you can come up with are endless!
Click to expand...

Roleplaying Schedule
Whenever you are roleplaying it is always good to have your character follow a proper roleplaying schedule. A schedule is basically something that your character follows everyday, you set time limits for yourself, plan out trips, and various other things of that nature. Most of the things you choose will also have to do with real life things, like bedtime.

Pick a time for your character to head to bed, make sure that your back from adventuring by that time. No waiting! The key to roleplaying is to make it a challenge, instead of using the wait function to get a store open, use that time to do something else. Let's say you have 3 hours until "The Best Defense" opens. Instead of using the wait function you can go outside and do some hunting or maybe gather ingredients for a potion or poison.

You also need to plan out your trips. If a quest is going to take you across Cyrodiil, then plan it out and get everything you need to get done in the current town finished before heading out. I use a schedule for my ranger character.

Schedule
-8:00 AM - Leave town for a hunt, collect pelts.
-9:30 AM - Enter town and sell loot, try and make deals. Go around town selling items that have been picked up during my adventures.
-11:00 AM - Small, around town quests, get to know people.
-12:00 PM - Check weapons & armor status.
-12:30 PM - Travel to another town, loot caves, ready for selling upon arrival.

That is basically where it ends, traveling to a new town and looting can take the rest of the day. I usually try to be in bed by 11:00, 11:30 at the latest.
Click to expand...

What I liked most about this post was how the nuggets were spread out. Sometimes the ESF poster is so obtuse his posts look like he's satirizing himself. This guy is clearly just a random idiot trying his best to help other players make use out of the shit that forms Oblivion's core..
 

Vidken

Novice
Joined
Aug 30, 2006
Messages
83
Marksman- I would use a Wood Elf (Bosmer) for this kind of character. After all, they are the legendary marksmen of Valenwood.
Click to expand...
Since individual arrows do so little damage, the successful "marksman" is either going to level a melee skill higher to survive, or backpedal 4 miles to kill things just to stay "pure" to bows.
Warrior- I would pick an Orc, Imperial, Nord, or Redguard. This character generally uses heavy armor and a claymore. You can also join the Fighters Guild for a good income.
Click to expand...
This is what every surviving character in Oblivion is anyway.
Monk- These characters use restoration magic mostly and are not fighters. The Mages Guild would be appropriate for this character.
Click to expand...
So how does this character play? Does he pick flowers and run away from everything? Stare at walls?
Town Guard- This character is very fun to play as. However, you will have to either steal the armor, or murder a guard for it. Once you have the armor you can pick out a patrol route and follow it.
Click to expand...
And do what exactly? There's no gameplay mechanic for arresting people. I guess you just stare at the fucking wall or walk in circles for all eternity.
Ranger- My personal favorite, these characters live off the land. Proficient in melee and marksman skills. They tend to not use any magic, save for the occasional healing spell. I recommend picking an Imperial for this persona.
Click to expand...
That's just wonderful. Considering there's no survival management, you can just run around in the woods all you want. "Living off the land" requires absolutely no effort. Fun!

-8:00 AM - Leave town for a hunt, collect pelts
-9:30 AM - Enter town and sell loot, try and make deals. Go around town selling items that have been picked up during my adventures.
-11:00 AM - Small, around town quests, get to know people.
-12:00 PM - Check weapons & armor status.
-12:30 PM - Travel to another town, loot caves, ready for selling upon arrival.
Click to expand...
Doing any single one of those tasks takes at least 4 to 48 in-game hours. What does the player do if he's late getting to bed? Does he simulate his character acting groggy by purposefully playing bad?
 

OverrideB1

Scholar
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
443
Location
The other side of the mirror
Roleplaying Schedule
Whenever you are roleplaying it is always good to have your character follow a proper roleplaying schedule. A schedule is basically something that your character follows everyday, you set time limits for yourself, plan out trips, and various other things of that nature. Most of the things you choose will also have to do with real life things, like bedtime.

Pick a time for your character to head to bed, make sure that your back from adventuring by that time. No waiting! The key to roleplaying is to make it a challenge, instead of using the wait function to get a store open, use that time to do something else. Let's say you have 3 hours until "The Best Defense" opens. Instead of using the wait function you can go outside and do some hunting or maybe gather ingredients for a potion or poison.

You also need to plan out your trips. If a quest is going to take you across Cyrodiil, then plan it out and get everything you need to get done in the current town finished before heading out. I use a schedule for my ranger character.

Schedule
-8:00 AM - Leave town for a hunt, collect pelts.
-9:30 AM - Enter town and sell loot, try and make deals. Go around town selling items that have been picked up during my adventures.
-11:00 AM - Small, around town quests, get to know people.
-12:00 PM - Check weapons & armor status.
-12:30 PM - Travel to another town, loot caves, ready for selling upon arrival.

That is basically where it ends, traveling to a new town and looting can take the rest of the day. I usually try to be in bed by 11:00, 11:30 at the latest.
Click to expand...
Fuck - and to think that I've been role-playing incorrectly for the last 30 years. All I needed to do was make a simple little routine and -- BOOM - role-playing god!

I knew that they were retarded over at ESF. I didn't realize they were sodding brain-dead!
 

suibhne

Erudite
Joined
Aug 21, 2003
Messages
1,951
Location
Chicago
whatusername said:
Why do you have a schedule for role-playing when the MQ wants j00 to 'SAVE TEH WROLD!!!!'?
Click to expand...

If you have to ask that, you don't understand role-playing games. Take your lack of imagination back to Doom plz.
 

Twinfalls

Erudite
Joined
Jan 4, 2005
Messages
3,903
Town Guard- This character is very fun to play as. However, you will have to either steal the armor, or murder a guard for it. Once you have the armor you can pick out a patrol route and follow it.
Click to expand...

Oh God oh God oh GOD
 

Lord Chambers

Erudite
Joined
Jan 23, 2006
Messages
1,018
It's a fair question. He could be playing devil's advocate. He probably sees multiple endings as a hackneyed concept whereby poor writers can give the illusion of meaning to the PC. In fact, I bet if you were ask him, he'd elaborate on the philosophical underpinnings of the metaphysical message behind having a single conclusion to a non-linear narrative. After all, aren't we all just star dust? And in the end, won't we just be star dust? There IS only one ending, man, don't you get it? DONT YOU GET IT?!
 

OverrideB1

Scholar
Joined
Oct 15, 2005
Messages
443
Location
The other side of the mirror
I bet if you were to ask him, he'd scratch his head and ask -- whut exactly does philosophical underpinnings of the metaphysical message behind having a single conclusion to a non-linear narrative like... uhh... mean? And then quote LOTR at you...
 

Romanian_Dude2005

Scholar
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
368
Location
Iasi, Romania?... Postcount: bigger then yours
http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... pic=568136

run for cover if it rains
3 square meals a day
change clothing based on wheather
i wear a shirt in anvil and a fur cuirass "coat" in bruma
only let yourself use certain weapons/gear
if you are caught stealing don't load
run out hte town gate
if you aren't apprehended in one hour, wipe the bounty witht he console
Click to expand...
 
Lumpy

Lumpy

Arcane
Joined
Sep 11, 2005
Messages
8,525
Actually, I think some Codex member already pointed to one of his threads with that user.
 

Romanian_Dude2005

Scholar
Joined
Mar 23, 2006
Messages
368
Location
Iasi, Romania?... Postcount: bigger then yours
I realy like it how Shield Wacter replied to the thread. He obviously had a bad day today

Is that suppose to impress me. You been playing since you were 3? So what? You couldn`t read at 3!

I been playing RPGs since Ultima days (when I was 19 and could read) if you wanna bandy age around. If you`re talking about books, baldur`s gate still had many interesting books of lore and story to read - so even by just the books and not counting the narratives Baldur`s and Planescape still win handsdown.

I hate these sniper shot comments that have no backbone to them... 3 indeed... wooo
Click to expand...
 

stargelman

Scholar
Joined
Jan 21, 2006
Messages
337
Location
Funky Bebop Land
Romanian_Dude2005 said:
I realy like it how Shield Wacter replied to the thread. He obviously had a bad day today

Is that suppose to impress me. You been playing since you were 3? So what? You couldn`t read at 3!

I been playing RPGs since Ultima days (when I was 19 and could read) if you wanna bandy age around. If you`re talking about books, baldur`s gate still had many interesting books of lore and story to read - so even by just the books and not counting the narratives Baldur`s and Planescape still win handsdown.

I hate these sniper shot comments that have no backbone to them... 3 indeed... wooo
Click to expand...
Click to expand...
He got you there, buddy!
 

User was nabbed fit

Guest
From the Bethesda newsletter:

"If any game is worth the price of the PS3, Oblivion is it" -- Official US Playstation Magazine.

Yeah, sure, that means a lot coming from the very same people who are trying to sell PS3s at their ludicrous prices. And even if it were from an unbiased source, it'd still be a shit argument for buying a PS3, as Oblivion on consoles is terrible. Only with some mods on PC is it barely playable.
 

whatusername

Scholar
Joined
Jun 14, 2006
Messages
619
Location
burp
Romanian_Dude2005 said:
I realy like it how Shield Wacter replied to the thread. He obviously had a bad day today

Is that suppose to impress me. You been playing since you were 3? So what? You couldn`t read at 3!

I been playing RPGs since Ultima days (when I was 19 and could read) if you wanna bandy age around. If you`re talking about books, baldur`s gate still had many interesting books of lore and story to read - so even by just the books and not counting the narratives Baldur`s and Planescape still win handsdown.

I hate these sniper shot comments that have no backbone to them... 3 indeed... wooo
Click to expand...
Click to expand...

They deleted it. :(
 
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