NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Wyrmlord]

My gawd, this stuff is golden.

Vette laughed and took out a cigarette. "No smoking in the ship, Vette", Arthas said. He shocked her and checked the star map.

Somehow I get the creepy feeling that it was a woman who wrote this, much the way a woman was the one who made A Dance with Rogues.

 

[circ]

And... 50 SHADES OF GRAY

NEVAR FORGET

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Would a Darth [something] even care about a hundred credits? According to Kotor, that's chump change.

 

[Angthoron]

Well, Darth Arthas clearly does

 

[Don Peste]

Post the second chapter!

 

[Wyrmlord]

I loved how the whole thing involves a shock collar.

It ends with Vette being shocked for calling the ship a POS.

Then we see a promise of a new chapter involving a new shock collar.

Before long, we'll see a shock collar saga.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Well, Darth Arthas clearly does

Darth Arthas. Sith. Slave owner. Master Assassin. Strapped for cash.

Chapter Six re-cap: Vette walks in on Darth Arthas sucking dick in the cantina's backroom. She runs away crying. Arthas wipes the residue from the corner of his mouth and uses the force to catch up with her. He reveals he was saving up to buy her a burger. They kiss passionately, sharing the cum taste in Darth Arthas' tongue.

 

[Manjuice Nutella]

i need an SWTOR account lol

http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=125934

somebody hack this shit for moar updates or something

 

[evdk]

Well, Darth Arthas clearly does

Darth Arthas. Sith. Slave owner. Master Assassin. Strapped for cash.

Chapter Six re-cap: Vette walks in on Darth Arthas sucking dick in the cantina's backroom. She runs away crying. Arthas wipes the residue from the corner of his mouth and uses the force to catch up with her. He reveals he was saving up to buy her a burger. Then he uses the shock collar again.

If you haven't yet wised up to which way the story is going I have taken the liberty of fixing your paragraph as a demonstration.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Maybe he can activate the shock collar while they're kissing? The cum coating his tongue serves as a conductor, and they both receive the shock. The resulting simultaneous dark orgasm is unbelievable.

 

[evdk]

Maybe he could use force lightning instead of the shock collar as a plot twist.

 

[thesoup]

What is "dance with rogues"? Do I even want to know or should I enjoy my blissful ignorance?

 

[racofer]

Damn peasant.

 

[Jasede]

Rape fantasy mod.

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

Somehow I get the creepy feeling that it was a woman who wrote this, much the way a woman was the one who made A Dance with Rogues.

To me it's obvious that it was written by a woman.

 

[Whisky]

What is "dance with rogues"? Do I even want to know or should I enjoy my blissful ignorance?

Neverwinter Nights mod. It is the epitome of tasteful rape and I believe it is in the only mod or game out there where you can have a romantic relationship with the man who raped your virginity.

 

[circ]

Suddenly Sy Snootles barges in on Darth Athras and Vette and lets a high-pitched note ring from his instrument. Before long Darth Athras is locked in an embrace with a wookiee, an aqualish and a young moisture farmer from deep in the desert. Their cocks are now together, held in place by the shock-collar, placed there by a jawa. Darth Athras grins, and Vette moans, though that sound is silenced by the thunderous roar of the giant wookiee as the shocking begins.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Just googled dance with rogues.

- Reactions the Princess receives from NPCs can differ depending on the type of clothes she wears at the time, if any.
- NPCs are aware of the Princess' body shape and in particular the size of her breasts, both of which are determined by her Constitution score.

Intriguing

 

[Kitako]

I didn't know CON determined boob size!
That's why everyone was constantly talking about the heroine big boobs.

 

[Infinitron]

PREPARE FOR RETARDO

Why we need to kill gameplay to make better games

​

​

We love video games for being video games, right? At least that’s what I thought all my life. But after a reboot of my designer brain happened, I was stunned with the discovery that it might not necessarily be true.
I mean, I still like video games when they are video games. It’s just that I love them when they are not.
Let’s do a little experiment.
Listed below, there are five well known action-adventure games. Think about your favorite, most memorable moments from the single player part of each, then click on the + spoiler button and see if I have managed to guess any of these moments.

BIOSHOCK
First ten minutes. Entering Rapture. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeNtHY8Igf0
CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE 2
No Russian. You take part in an airport massacre of hundreds of civilians. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-9_82sEzbE
GRAND THEFT AUTO 3+
Driving around, listening to the radio.
RED DEAD REDEMPTION
Riding into Mexico, accompanied by a moody song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5oWKCp102ic
UNCHARTED 3
The desert section. Dehydrated, tired Drake walks in circles in the desert’s heat and cold for two days. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f4YJV9U_RA

What do all these moments have in common?
They are game-free. They are gameplay-less.
That’s right. You heard me.
If we understand gameplay as something that a challenge is a crucial part of, then none of these moments features any gameplay. You just walk, or swim, or ride a horse, but that’s it. You cannot die. You don’t make choices that have any long term consequences. No skill is involved.
There is no gameplay.
In other words, certain things worth remembering from certain video games are not what these video games are all about.
That’s fucked up.
But also great.
Because it means we still don’t understand video games. And if love them so much already,imagine what will happen when one day we will actually understand them.
There’s more.
If you read discussions like Most Jaw-dropping Scenery or Sequence in a Game you can see that the things that people remember from their favorite games are:

• Beautiful places
• One off events like a helicopter boss fight or escaping a house on fire
• Gameplay-less experiences like exploration or short interactive dramas

And, on the other hand, in threads like that no one ever talks about the regular gameplay. No one mentions combat zones, jumping sequences, or enemy variety.
In other words, game experiences we love to share with others are usually not about the regular second to second gameplay. Our brains don’t consider it worth remembering, and the only thing we usually have to say for it – especially months or years after we finish the game – is that “the gameplay was cool”.

​

Is there an explanation?
I think so, and I also think you’ve heard that one before. It’s just weird that not many people do anything with it.
I think than when we’re focused on overcoming a challenge – we try to kill an attacker or win a race – we go into savage beast’s survival mode and shut ourselves down for any “higher class” emotions. Our vision gets extremely narrow, and we’re no longer multi-tasking. Beating the challenge becomes the only thing that matters.
The best example is QTEs. You either engage in them emotionally or win them, but you cannot do both at the same time.
Does it mean that if you want a deeply emotional game, you should drop regular gameplay, with all its core combat loops, gameplay mechanics and other voodoo?
Yes.
Any proof for that hypothesis?
The Walking Dead, for example.
Yeah, sure, it features “real gameplay” in the form of “survival moments” (fire a gun at a zombie) or light puzzle solving (pick up a key lying next to a chest to open the chest), but we all know these are just a fig leaf. Remove them and you would still get goose bumps just the same.
But if we remove the challenge and trial and error gameplay from video games, can we even still call them video games?
Who cares? Do you play games to pass the time or to create memories?
P.S. There will be a follow up post. Meanwhile, please read this on NeoGAF.
P.P.S. And here’s the follow up post!

 

[circ]

Constitution? Not intelligence? That's pretty sexist.

 

[mck]

that was stupid as fuck, but it made me want to play vice city, so thanks for the post.

I POKE MY HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER FOR ONE FREAKIN SECOND AND FATE SHOVELS SHIT IN MY FACE!

 

[bminorkey]

I think it's a pretty interesting post. The "remove gameplay" stuff is a misguided attempt to give his point an ironic flavor, but one thing I took from his post is this: interactivity can create interesting scenarios that don't necessarily square as what we would traditionally consider a game, i.e. scenarios that don't involve a challenge, an objective or particularly dynamic feedback. For a case in point, horror games are possibly the most interesting and solid game genre of them all. And there's also Journey.

 

[Zewp]

Would a Darth [something] even care about a hundred credits? According to Kotor, that's chump change.

Bitch please. Any Sith lord worth his salt would kill a slave for losing him even a single credit. Also, having sex with your slave? This Darth Arthas guy is a real pussy. He probably doesn't even lift.

 

[Kaspar Hauser]

No wonder people remember the gameplay-free but nicely staged parts when the actual gameplay is lacking