NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Ahzaruuk]

In that Fallout thread:

I have my suspicions that this thread isn't going to manage to last very long.

I hope that you all can prove me wrong, and actually manage to have a discussion that stays within the forum rules.

I do doubt it, though.

So, a moronic ESF moderator warning about a thread with nothing in it to warn about? Fag.

He smelled there is going to be criticism about Bethsoft. Every thread where anyone says anything bad about them gets closed immediately by those intolerant fucks.

Except Talaran is supposedly of the female persuasion.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

In that Fallout thread:

I have my suspicions that this thread isn't going to manage to last very long.

I hope that you all can prove me wrong, and actually manage to have a discussion that stays within the forum rules.

I do doubt it, though.

So, a moronic ESF moderator warning about a thread with nothing in it to warn about? Fag.

He smelled there is going to be criticism about Bethsoft. Every thread where anyone says anything bad about them gets closed immediately by those intolerant fucks.

Except Talaran is supposedly of the female persuasion.

That's what I thought too, until I saw what happened in her pants when she banned people.

 

[franc kaos]

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... pic=635243

Just wow!

Since this is slowly turning into a console/platform debate and will without a doubt turn into a flame fest, I am going to close it preemptively as we do often around here. It is our experience that these types of threads always cause flames and since we all play the same game, and have our own preferences as to what to play on, its best to just not do the bickering about what we play on.

Summer at her best!

 

[KreideBein]

I've been seeing that behavior more and more -- the mods keep locking innocuous topics because "they might turn into a flame war". Why don't they just kill the entire fucking board if they're so afraid of flame wars potentially occurring?

 

[cutterjohn]

One of the things that pisses me off the most about the moderation on the ESF is that they don't allow for topics to evolve. Either a thread remains on the exact same topic throughout its lifespan, or it's closed. Such a policy seriously neuters debate.

And if it reaches too many posts it is locked because of some fucking retarted reason. Just after reaching a certain level of discussion it is locked, and [insert interesting thread name here] number two must be made. That's the most ridiculous shit I've ever seen on any forum, apart from their auto censor.

Apparently Bethesda is too fucking cheap to upgrade their servers, or that web forum software they use is even shittier than I find it to be through limited use, as they claim threads over 200 or so posts seriously degrade system performance.

I also love how cheapass they are that they prune the boards to something like 6m, rendering them almost entirely useless.

Oh well, not that it matters much as I feel like my IQ has dropped 10-20 points every time that I visit ESF. LARPers and fanboys.

Of course, I did get some amusement value out of angry feminist thread, especially it's last comment wrt to women in prison. Methinks there probably was first hand experience there, and that it wasn't the butch.

Oh, hey! I just did actually look at the console discussion link. I can hardly wait until more of those little console kiddies show up. That SHOULD make the forums at least entertaining for a while. It may even offer some good trolling opportunities as I am sure that the moderators will be busy locking console kiddy threads allowing some other threads to slip through the cracks as it were.... :D

It almost makes me wish that the POS3 was actually selling well... But, I guess that we'll have to do with the 10 or so POS3 owners v. unwashed crapbox 360 horde.

 

[OccupatedVoid]

I was IP banned. :D

Anyway, the 10 page only rule doesn't make any sense. AFAIK: Any server can handle a MySQL database of large magnitude(such as a forum). Bethe$da justs wants to prune things to get rid of the anti-oblvion threads that were locked instead of deleted.

 

[Romanian_Dude2005]

This made me laugh...

http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... 632867&hl=

Cephorus it seems you don't know the average Beth player very well, they wouldn't like this because it restricts them. The very idea of not being able to do a quest because their stats don't meet the requirements is unacceptable to them, why do you think the progress requirements in Morrowind was removed in Oblivion? These are the type of people who want to be able to become arch mage with their pure warrior, these are the type of people who want to have 'best at everything' characters that can nuke, sneak, and sword slash just as well as specialist classes, the type of people who want to be able to do everything without consequence.

Realistic? No, but from my experience these are the majority. Something I learned well every time I ever end up in a discussion about balancing.

It's so true

 

[JarlFrank]

I would hate that. I would have to get my speachcraft skill up in order to do quests? NO WAY

Now I really begin to ask myself why these people don't complain about leveling at all? I mean, omgz, I need to level up my skillz to be able to do special moves and get skill perks!!!!!!

 

[JarlFrank]

Okay, this is total fucking retardness at its best.

In my signature of the ESF I got the line "RPG Codex Member" standing there. Some fucking mod changed it to "RPG Codex Troll". Just how fucking stupid can they get?

EDIT:
Now I changed my sig to say "Proud RPG Codex member" in quite a large font. Let's see how they react now. Maybe they'll give me a warning? Wouldn't be surprised.

 

[DarkSign]

Wear the badge with pride. It's about all we've got, besides our immaculate dissection of RPGs.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

For some reason, I've never actually trolled the ESF.

 

[Fez]

It'd be like throwing pearls to swine, jimbob.

 

[JarlFrank]

Don't Bypass the Forum Censor, doing so will result in a warning.

Oh, so they noticed I wrote RPG Codex. How evil. If they knew how less I cared for their fucking censor.

 

[Volourn]

I find it hilarious this thread is basically dedicated to Codexers trolling other forums (specifically Bethesda's) and thenw hining they get banned or warned while at the same time plenty of the same people ar ehere crying about my 'trolling' the Codex by actually following the Codex Ethics of being a bastard to all.

Very amusing, indeed.

R00fles!

 

[Dementia Praecox]

For the love of god, people! Why do you keep going back to the ESF? It's plain masochistic at best. Sure, there is some fun to be had, but most certainly not enough to justify 76 bloody pages! And that Invison board-shit they are running, must be the worst piece of forum software ever made. To my knowledge, this thread is the biggest and most popular thread on the codex. You should all be fucking ashamed of your selves! Bah, guess I should be thankful you retards keep it all in one thread.

With that rant being said, I actually have a user preceding the release of Morrowind, with a total cumulative post count of 0.

Edit: D'oh! Volourn basically beat me to it. With 8 minutes... what are the odds.

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

I find it hilarious this thread is basically dedicated to Codexers trolling other forums (specifically Bethesda's) and thenw hining they get banned or warned while at the same time plenty of the same people ar ehere crying about my 'trolling' the Codex by actually following the Codex Ethics of being a bastard to all.

Very amusing, indeed.

R00fles!

I whined about getting banned because I never DID troll. R00fles!

 

[OccupatedVoid]

For the love of god, people! Why do you keep going back to the ESF? It's plain masochistic at best. Sure, there is some fun to be had, but most certainly not enough to justify 76 bloody pages! And that Invison board-shit they are running, must be the worst piece of forum software ever made. To my knowledge, this thread is the biggest and most popular thread on the codex. You should all be fucking ashamed of your selves! Bah, guess I should be thankful you retards keep it all in one thread.

With that rant being said, I actually have a user preceding the release of Morrowind, with a total cumulative post count of 0.

Edit: D'oh! Volourn basically beat me to it. With 8 minutes... what are the odds.

Password please... I assure he will be banned in 5 minutes when I'm through with him.

If I have the time of course.

 

[One Wolf]

this thread is basically dedicated to Codexers trolling other forums (specifically Bethesda's) and thenw hining they get banned

are people actually whining about it? there's no way i'm reading through 77 pages of this thread, but most don't seem to give a fuck if they're banned, and aren't surprised at all when it happens.

if beth uses IP for banning, just use this.

 

[enchanted_eyeball]

How long do you think, this thread will lasts:
http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/inde ... pic=635968

is this a codexer?

I didn't get it. What is so great about this game?
The world is big, there are many places. but it is all repetitive and seldom anything relevant can be found.
There are many quests. but you don't get xp, you learn by doing, so the 'rewards' for time consuming questsolving is zero. also money is worhless since you can't buy super equipment and the items you get are useless.
There are many skills. but again, learning by doing, so it is all just time wasting, you could lock the forward and right and jump keys to run-jump in a circle and leave the computer for a day to boost your acrobatics.
playing a stupid minigame improves your 'taking'skill, so what do you do? - you play it and play it and play it and play it again. or you stand before a crab to improve your armor and shield skills.

This is the most time consuming game i know. and still it is very popular. Tell me if you don't agree and if you can, please explain me in detail _what it is, that makes Oblivion a good game.

and the usual response to this

Shut up, you dont know what you on about, i suppose the nice mages give you pwnage spells for free? And you do get XP from quests, every thing you do in oblivion gives you XP, moving, fighting, spells, every thing, and oh i forgot umbra is such a useless piece of [censored], I HATE TIME CONSUMING QUESTS!

 

[JarlFrank]

Oblivion is a Role Playing Game.

Therefore, go role play. That's what I do.

Nothing is better than fighting 30 some odd guards to Requiem For a Dream, when the sun is just going down, and you're ouside the IC close to the lake...and actually winning.

where exactly is the role playing in that?

And this fight has a ton to do with role playing, I just didn't feel like explaining the whole story behind the fight.

In short however, I will say that the guards wrongly accused my character over an issue that happened previously, and betrayed him. He fought back against the corrupt faction, and (to my surprise) defeated them. The problem now is that he will have to go underground for a while, and join the Theives Guild to take care of this wretched bounty (again, I could simply just pay the fine, but that isn't how I role play. My charactre isn't going to pay for something he didn't do, at least at full price anyways...he will have to, in essance, live a double life. This adds even more depth to the role playing factor, in that my character will be living two seprate lives...)

EDIT: And I had that song playing during the guards hunt for my character, their first accusations, and the big battle that took place right outside, in which my character triumphed. I was still thinking about it is all, that's why I included it in my post.

Uhm... yeah.

And this:
[to the original poster]

You're argument could be used against any RPG. If you dont get it, then it isnt the right type of game for you.

This argument is just retarted, as the original poster compared Oblivion to other RPGs like BG2, PS:T and Fallout, and he stated that he liked these games, but finds Oblivion to be dull.
Well, maybe the Oblivion players don't see FO, PS:T and BG as RPGs. They got no Oblivion-esque r0le playing OMGz!!!!

 

[Fez]

Most the people who defend Oblivion on that forum seem to be LARPer types.

 

[enchanted_eyeball]

did any of you read the uncyclopedia article about Oblivion?

or this is old news?

“I saw a mudcrab the other day.”

~ Oscar Wilde

“This is a game about me, right? And what are the Elder Scrolls anyway?”

~ Captain Oblivious on The Elder Scrolls: Oblivious

The Elder Scrolls: Oblivious, also known as the Second Coming of Christ, is the best TES ever, The best RPG ever, the best game ever, the best thing ever, and a divine work of art. The game is classified as an RPG, a role playing game. An RPG is a game which focuses on leveling up and collecting phat loot. Despite the name, role playing is never a necessary component of an RPG, and very rarely appears. It is the sequel of The Elder Scrolls Legends: Battlespire. The game is a MESOLARPS, a massive empty singleplayer offline LARP simulator. The basic premise of the game is that the players are supplied with a huge amount of nothing, which they are supposed to pretend is actually something, thus creating the ultimate Role Playing experience.

lol, this place is famous!!!

-The plot of The Elder Scrolls revolves around the conflict between two warring factions. The forces of Good are represented by the Elder Scrolls Forumites, an

utopian society which enjoys the simple pleasures of LARPing. The common men within this society are known as fanboys, and the slaves within this society are known as toddlings. Although apparently harmless, they have special abilities such as Lack of Logic, and powerful spells such as Flaming, Which can only be used against evil. They are ruled by the Forum Moderators, an elite group of warrior priests, dedicated to maintaining peace within the Forum and banishing evil. They use powerful weapons, known as the Banhammers. The gods of the Forumites are known as the DEVs, forming the pantheon of Bethesda. The forces of evil are represented by the Codices, living in an underground town known as the RPGCodex. Powerful evil sorcerers, the Codices have strong Shock spells such as Tubgirl and Goatse, and also powerful Reason spells as Logic, spells which Forumites are immune to. Their worship the holy trinity of Fallout, Planescape and Daggerfall. In Oblivious, the DEVs plan to create a new device, Oblivious, with which they can take the money of the Forumites. Realising this, a group separated from the Fanboys, the Beth Bashers, attempt a revolution. Failing that, they leave the Forum, and join the Codices. The Codices fight the DEVs, but in the end, Oblivious is completed. It turns the minds of the Fanboys into oblivion(the toddlings don't have minds). The oblivious Fanboys end up giving their money to the DEVs, and continue to fight the Codices.

read more:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/The_Elder_ ... _Oblivious

 

[Micmu]

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/The_Elder_Scrolls:_Oblivious

Radiant AI is a new AI developed by Bethesda Softworks which allows NPCs to eat poisennut apples and have a friend comment "stopp teh poisen.", emergently walk into walls and intelligently kill each other because one killed a deer. Radiant AI is never actually noticed in game.



Oblivion is FUN

 

[Admiral Rimjob POOBUM]

There's plenty about the Uncyclopedia article earlier in this thread. I believe OccupotatoedVoid wrote most of it.

 

[enchanted_eyeball]

lol, sorry I missed that.

How about this:

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

Not to be confused with The Elder Scrolls: Oblivious

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is a tale in which old men with severe mental issues write scrolls (elder scrolls) to teach younger men how to be extremely promiscuous, have alcoholism and drug-addiction issues, commit senseless murders, and where to find the cheapest pornography to buy. This is the fourth chapter in the series, as you start out as this drunk loser who has somehow locked himself in his greenhouse with only the clothes on his back, goggles, and a baseball bat, and then a miracle occurs. A corporate emperor by the name of Uri Septimokov appears right in front of your greenhouse with two uselessly-large, steroid-pumped lackeys. And you know what he does next? The emperor reminds you how to use a bat and you smash your way out of the greenhouse. You then must fight your way through a hedge maze full of playboy playmates in parkas who refuse to take their clothes off in front of you. The emperor, Uri, dies of an untimely coronary attack as soon as you leave the maze his two lackeys give you a locked suitcase (no you can't open it) and tells you to deliver it to Joe Free.

Weynon Priory

This is perhaps the most bizzare moment of the whole game. You have to meet with this old man named Gordon Freeman, in which he appears to thawing a frozen baby (much the same way you thaw a TV dinner) in his oven. He then tells you that the suitcase is full of money and corpses, then says he's just joking and take the thawed baby out of the microwave and throws him into an orphanage before returning with a new tattoo. You ask him who the hell he is and he take the suitcase out of your hand and tells you to retrieve Uri's long lost eigth cousin, Martin.

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Elder_Scrolls_IV:_Oblivion