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Baldur's Gate BG3 Blurb Contest

Maxie

Guest
In this thread, I challenge you to come up with the most uninspired and hackneyed blurb for Larian's Baldur's Gate III you can manage, which blurb will inevitably end up a part of some mainstream gaming website review. The more clownworldy, the better. The winner becomes Codex's official recommendation of the game, as approved by DarkUnderlord. Put your snideness to some use, men.

my take: A MODERN TWIST ON THE CLASSIC FORMULA
 

Howdy

Guest
YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE ADVENTURING FORTH... INTO THE FUTURE OF PC ROLEPLAYING RPG GAMES

Edit also

YES YOU CAN FUCK THEM ALL IF YOU WANT TO
 
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MpuMngwana

Arbiter
Joined
Sep 23, 2016
Messages
338
While updating the, frankly, archaic and outdated gameplay of Divinity: Original Sin 2, and taking the page from Bethesda's book in both quality role-playing and starting their franchise with the third installment, Lairan delivers what might very well be the best RPG game ever.
 

Nortar

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Sep 5, 2017
Messages
1,425
Pathfinder: Wrath
Finally you can take a diverse cast of fierce companions on stunning and brave adventures in a classic setting streamlined and brought to this year standards.
 

vortex

Fabulous Optimist
Joined
Mar 25, 2016
Messages
4,221
Location
Temple of Alvilmelkedic
in one profund moment Minsc was unpetrified after a hundred years, immediately gets clubbed to death by a strong woman who you can have romance with

YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE ADVENTURING FORTH

... but you actually don't have to gather your party this time to venture forth. Every party member can go freely for his own story multiplayer reasons.
 

Turuko

Learned
Joined
Jun 12, 2019
Messages
352
Location
Verbobonc
With Baldur's Gate 3 Larian has taken the fundamentals of the franchise, broken them apart and rebuilt them into an RPG so refined and compulsively playable that it's done the unthinkable: It's finally rendered its predecessors a footnote.
 

AwesomeButton

Proud owner of BG 3: Day of Swen's Tentacle
Patron
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
16,338
Location
At large
PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015 Make the Codex Great Again! Grab the Codex by the pussy Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Divinity: Original Sin 2 A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath
Shit, I thought I'd give it a go, but people ITT read much more mainstream gaming journoshit than I do.
 
Joined
Oct 15, 2018
Messages
862
Location
Ali Ghaylān
BALDUR'S GATE III IS PROOF THAT VIDEO GAMES ARE ART AND MEANINGFUL STORY-TELLING PLATFORMS COMPARABLE TO LITERARY CLASSICS SUCH AS THE STRANGER.
 

Generic-Giant-Spider

Guest
"Baldur's Gate III not only lives up to its legacy but easily succeeds it, one of the finest moments in RPG history that will be celebrated for decades to come. Larian has truly rolled a perfect 20."
 

vortex

Fabulous Optimist
Joined
Mar 25, 2016
Messages
4,221
Location
Temple of Alvilmelkedic
"BG3. What to say? Can even stand head to toe with quintessential Throne of Bhaal campaign and any modern JRPGs. Cutscenes are spectacular."
 
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Apostle Hand

Liturgist
Batshit Crazy
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,559
Location
Inferno
'Return of hardcore RPG style... one of the best RPGs in past 10 years, this game will keep you up all night.'
 

PapaPetro

Guest
"Hey it's shit. But they'll still eat it."

fnN1m6C.gif
 
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