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Baldur's Gate BG3 Blurb Contest

Alphons

Cipher
Joined
Nov 20, 2019
Messages
2,588
Baldur's Gate III is the Dark Souls of RPG games.
 
Self-Ejected

supervoid

Self-Ejected
Joined
Oct 9, 2014
Messages
1,076
Something like:
Inclusive turn-based mode changes the franchaise forever. Neckbeard elitist fans seethe all around the world. Future of cRPGs: No spacebar!.
but written in this dumb style vidya game journos are using. I can't do it, it requires too much effort :(. Feel free to use this award-worthy draft for your own entry.
 

Fedora Master

Arcane
Patron
Edgy
Joined
Jun 28, 2017
Messages
28,618
"The game manages to walk a fine line between satisfying fans of old-school dungeon crawls as well as updating its formula and story to modern standards."
 

pomenitul

Arbiter
Joined
Sep 8, 2016
Messages
979
Location
μεταβολή
Dungeons & Dragons at its unquestionable best!*

*Terms and conditions apply: free illithid tadpole to be implanted into player's brain before playthrough.
 

Serious_Business

Best Poster on the Codex
Joined
Aug 21, 2007
Messages
3,916
Location
Frown Town
"I was a fan of the original Baudelaire's Gate, but you gotta admit, those venerable sprites have ran their lives' due course. Let them rest in peace. Not it is time for something truly magical, a fully 3d rendered Bee Gate - what could you ask for more?"

Baldur's Gate III is the Dark Souls of RPG games.

Fucking hell, I wish

Something like "Offers deep tactical combat" is obvious, but with the terrified addition which will amount to "that can be played at your own pace" ; something to make sure it's accessible. "It may look intimidating at first, but worry not, the game will pull you in with its fun dynamics and incredible animations"
 

vortex

Fabulous Optimist
Joined
Mar 25, 2016
Messages
4,221
Location
Temple of Alvilmelkedic
DnD with none of the tedium.
DnD with none other than the tedium.

3 does not stand for 3rd in a series. It sets itself apart in mechanics, graphics and writing in a way that classics of old were never able to achieve. As such '3' should be read as edgy 'E', Baldurs Gate Empowered, Enhanced, Eclectic...

Baldur's Gate Eurojanked
 

Elex

Arbiter
Joined
Oct 17, 2017
Messages
2,043
“LARIAN MANAGED TO REVITALIZE THE CLASSIC BEAMDOG FORMULA WITH A MODERN TWIST AND A AAA BUDGET DELIVERING A CRITICAL HIT ON THE HEART OF THE OLD BALDUR’S GATE FANS!”
 

Ialda

Learned
Joined
Oct 13, 2019
Messages
125
"Baldur 3, where you start the game with a piece of the Big Bad inside of you. Are you ready for more ?"
 

Filthy Sauce

Arbiter
Joined
Jan 26, 2016
Messages
619
Baldurs Gate 3.... Turn based combat with a story slightly worse than Siege of Dragonspear.
 

Aemar

Arcane
Joined
Aug 18, 2018
Messages
6,094
Baldur's Gate 3: Because We Couldn't Obtain the Rights for Leisure Suit Larry.
 

ERYFKRAD

Barbarian
Patron
Joined
Sep 25, 2012
Messages
28,499
Strap Yourselves In Serpent in the Staglands Shadorwun: Hong Kong Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I'm very into cock and ball torture I helped put crap in Monomyth
The tabletop rpg experience of tomorrow, today!
 

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