Bioshock Infinite - the $200 million 6 hour literally on rails interactive movie with guns thread

[Zewp]

If anyone isn't interested in playing the full game, here's the condensed text adventure version of it. Apologies if it's been posted before.

http://crypticsea.com/twined/bioshoot.html

It's pretty accurate too.

 

[Night Goat]

http://crypticsea.com/twined/bioshoot.html

Spoiler

He tells the girl that you suck. So you drown him in the fountain. Anger issues!

The girl thinks he's right and you do suck, so you decide to blow up the tower or something. You get on a zeppelin. Kill some people. I think it's the revolutionaries. Big bird destroys the tower, then the girl uses her quantum bullshit magic to transport you into an underwater city. Big bird dies. You get on a submarine and go to a lighthouse. You go into the lighthouse and you see thousands of lighthouses. You go into another lighthouse and now it's daytime. You see another version of Dude Bro McGunpants and the girl.

You ask "What's up with that?".
"We swim in different bullshit but land on the same shore" she says.
"I don't understand."
"You don't need to, as long as you believe the story is complex and not riddled with holes then you'll think it's your fault for not understanding."

"There's so many choices." you joke.
"They all lead to the same cutscenes."
"No one tells me where to go." you say.
"GO INTO THE NEXT LIGHTHOUSE" the screen tells you.

You're back at a baptism scene, the girl is your daughter, you sold her to Stomcock when she was a baby to pay off gambling debts (jerk!), Stomcock is you covered in different bullshit, a few different versions of the girl drown you at the baptism so you don't become Stomcock, you get an achievement.

The End

This sounded too derp to be true, so I watched the ending on Youtube and holy fuck that's really how it ends.

 

[Gurkog]

I think Spoony said it best when he pointed out that by drowning him at the baptism she has left her baby self in the care of a self-destructive, alcoholic mass-murder who is about to get fucked up over unpaid gambling debts. In this game, there are no winners.

 

[Average Manatee]

If anyone isn't interested in playing the full game, here's the condensed text adventure version of it. Apologies if it's been posted before.

http://crypticsea.com/twined/bioshoot.html

It's pretty accurate too.

Got stuck at the baseball sequence. Couldn't figure out how to progress and "Come on, take it" didn't really give any clues. Was stuck for hours before giving up. Game may be slightly buggy, but I'm sure these issues will be fixed by the time of the retail release date.

9.5/10

 

[Toffeli]

http://crypticsea.com/twined/biosho...8.7.x.c.y.1.p.m.10.1n.k.1o.19.e.1h.j.3.1g.h.s

You say "Fuck you" to this game and quit playing.

You Win!

 

[Brinko]

This looks so fucking retarded.

 

[DramaticPopcorn]

I cracked up at that destructoid score almost instinctively assuming it was a parody. Nope. real thing

 

[Brotherman Bill]

^ Season pass lol

 

[Infinitron]

Hah. Back to Rapture again? They just can't let the place go, it seems.

 

[potatojohn]

Ohh god won't this shit ever end

 

[Jazper]

Ken Levine: 'We are building a Rapture-based narrative experience"


Narrative Experience? These guys are basically admitting they aren't making computer games anymore. I guess they are afraid they won't be taken seriously by fellow creative big-shots if they admit the truth. Isn't that why some people started calling comic books graphic novels?

 

[Jack]

Looking forward to Bioshoot Infinite +4: Quantum Bullshit at Sea.

 

[Morgoth]

Fucking hell, I still haven't bothered finishing Bullshit Infinite vanilla. No way I'm gonna spent money on this....

...unless.

 

[Mastermind]

I was just looking around at that site, and found this. Look at the comments section, it's amazing. Almost none of them figured out that it's a joke.

"I’d take this article with a grain of salt."

 

[WalmartJesus]

http://www.deadline.com/2013/06/bio...e-takes-on-logans-run-script-for-warner-bros/

Hahaha what?

The only thing I look forward to regarding this movie will be laughing at it's 20% rating on RT.

Kenny the kike is about to find out that most Film critics actually have standards ...unlike the lowbrow dorito-shilling retards that slapped a 10/10 on Bioshock:Infinite

 

[WalmartJesus]

This looks so fucking retarded.

A Film Noir/Detective Mystery set in Rapture could actually be cool if it was structured like an adventure game and you spend the duration of the game investigating crime scenes,searching for clues,and talking to NPC's.

But that's unlikely considering the average Call of Duty mouth-breather finds that type of shit boring ...so, it will probably be just another round of blowing away Splicers and Big Daddies.

Excuse the doublepost.

 

[Cowboy Moment]

This looks so fucking retarded.

Spoiler

 

[Psquit]

lol shadowrun returns is going down...

 

[Major_Blackhart]

I fucking hate Ken Levine.
He will NEVER EVER get my jewgold.

 

[ColCol]

Jesus, Rapture again, not suprised but still.... Ken Levine is a like an old washed up whore clinging to the memory of the one B-list celebrity she fucked.

 

[felipepepe]

Now we'll learn that Rapture went wrong because one retarded "detective" killed the entire population of the city on a murderous spree...

 

[Cowboy Moment]

Now we'll learn that Rapture went wrong because one retarded "detective" killed the entire population of the city on a murderous spree...

Spoiler

The detective you play later becomes Atlas/Fontaine.

 

[felipepepe]

I don't care if you pulled that of your ass or it was in a review, it sounds 100% like the M. Shyamalan plot twist they would do.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Werent they all some BS plot twists?

 

[Average Manatee]

I'll bet it's still 10x better than whatever twist they will actually do. Alternatively, it may be an entirely irrelevant shooting spree with no real significance story-wise. Given that BS:I was both of these, I'm wondering which they will expand on.