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Mass Effect BioWare Montreal's Mass Effect: Andromeda - where element zero meets trisomy 21

fastjack

Augur
Joined
Mar 31, 2004
Messages
347
Location
the south bay
My favorite part was when ShadowSpectre ruined a funny joke by rushing to the defense of all female armor-wearers with his poor wiki-crawl-based arguments. The fact that this was the first reply on the codex of all places made it especially funny.
 

Grimlorn

Arcane
Joined
Jun 1, 2011
Messages
10,248
Bikini armor is just as realistic as any other kind of female armor because historically speaking, there were no female soldiers to wear armor.

One might also argue that a chastity belt was the most common piece of 'armor' worn by women, making bikini armor the most realistic.

While most armours would have been made for men, there were instances where women would have historically speaking, been soldiers and/or worn armour. The Roman emperor Severus banned women from participating is gladiator games after a couple hundred years of it going on. Enough artifact sculptures laying around to prove they did fight in the arena too. There were female Scythian nomads also buried with their weapons and armour alongside the men. During the American Civil War it was not unheard of for women to pretend to be young men so they could join and fight (see the Declaration of Independence for names, there are women, who were soldiers, albeit not wearing your medieval-fantasy style armour). One of the old Chinese Dynasties was shook up by a woman after her husband and their rebels were seized and likely tortured to death. She was definitely a soldier with light armour who rode horseback. Joan of Arc never fought, but also wore armour. Lots of historical examples out there where women were indeed soldiers and also wore armour.

It doesn't change the fact that bikini armour is unrealistic though.
Everyone knows that the queen had a custom suit of ceremonial armor and you can always find some women willing to perform extreme entertainment. When your counter-argument relies on such examples, it isn't very good.

Yet you said ". . . no female soldiers to wear armor." That implies an absolute. I also mentioned examples of females who would have been soldiers before the modern era. The Scythians weren't entertainment, they defended themselves. Neither were the repressed Chinese, and that was a soldiering example. American women fought in the Civil War. You don't understand history. The Roman case isn't even a matter of just "find women," plenty of them were forced to as any other slave.

Also, I gave no ceremonial examples. You gave the ceremonial example, which makes it evident that you have no clue what you are talking about as you just proved my point. If you want to crawl into the territory of realism, then most video-games have terrible representations of how combat with armour and the weapons used would actually work. Point of fact, not all armour even has to be plate. In fact, most armour would NOT have been plate if you take the sheer amount of different armour out there. More men protected by leather in history than plating any day if you want that scale to go off of.
It appears that you mistook some colloquial language in a funny forum post for a legal document. Find an example that is more than half of one percent valid before climbing that high horse.

"A woman wore a leather vest into battle one time" isn't a great example of female plate armor. Or are you arguing that men in games should have full plate and women should cap out at leather brigandines? Why do you care so much about this? :lol:

You are clearly brain-washed by video-games and movie/tv interpretations that woman would have "special" female armour, as in boob-plate or something. You're missing the point and couldn't be further from the truth. There is no special "female armour" because females have always just worn the same armour a male would wear. Armour is armour. Not all men fit into the same armour and that is why there have always been different sizes and "custom fits" if you didn't want cookie-cutter armour seeing as there are different sizes, styles, etc. Try putting a typical Navy Seal in a traditional Roman centurian style and he likely wouldn't get the chest-piece on by virtue of Romans being shorter and smaller than a modern soldier (yet that armour was still "made" for a man) but a modern woman would likely fit just due to size. If you remade it however, you could in fact get it on the Navy Seal. Joan of Arc's heavy metal plating was extremely typical of what a man would wear, (albeit tailored to her just as a wealthy noble may have the same type of metal armour tailored to himself). A barrel-chested man will require a chest-piece that allows for more chest space than an average woman would require for the same chest-piece. If you think breasts might require that modification too then news for you, breasts flatten easily and women have less chest mass than men, which is why typical armour works fine on both sexes. Kevlar vests come in different sizes for a reason, but it's still a kevlar vest. Most places you just pick your size (S, M, L); man or woman. While female-tailored kevlar vests exist, that luxury isn't the reality for most departments and most women wear the same type of vest as a man if they are a police officer.

The most realistic armour for a woman is wearing just any regular armour that fits her person, just as is the case of any man. That's why there is no such thing as this special female armour. It doesn't exist. A human form is a human form.
Women are weak compared to men. A woman in bikini armor fighting men equally is as unrealistic as a woman in armor fighting equally against men. Both are jokes. At least with the bikini armor a man has something nice to look at while laughing at the joke of women being equally on par physically to men.
 
Joined
Jan 7, 2007
Messages
3,181
ME:A thread: now arguing about bikini armor. Because why the fuck not.

Also, stop trying to ruin the simple beauty of a half-naked woman for the rest of us, you autistic neckbeards.
 

Tom Selleck

Arcane
Joined
May 6, 2013
Messages
1,224
J6zbA.gif
 

Vorark

Erudite
Joined
Mar 2, 2017
Messages
1,471

Don't worry, I soldiered on and got this gem:

For some reason, Mass Effect: Andromeda is scoring significantly below both Mass Effect 2 and 3 on most major gaming sites. Even Dragon Age 2 got higher scores. I honestly don't understsand that. Perhaps the animation memes and what not leading up to the release made it more acceptable to bash it, despite it being an AAA title. It's certainly not because the animations in question are bad enough to warrant a huge drop in ratings.

It's an AAAAAAAA title, of course it should never have low scores or be bashed! This is an outrage!! :outrage:
 
Joined
Jan 7, 2007
Messages
3,181
I especially enjoyed the "For some reason" bit. Gee, what reason could there possibly be? Surely, it's not because it's actually a worse game. It must be those dastardly memes!
 

Iznaliu

Arbiter
Joined
Apr 28, 2016
Messages
3,686
chastity belt
Most 'chastity belts' were made in the Victorian era.

Bikini armor is just as realistic as any other kind of female armor because historically speaking, there were no female soldiers to wear armor.
Bikini armour isn't unrealistic since nobody wore it; it is unrealistic since it does not serve the main purpose of armour (to provide protection on the battlefield). This makes me think; shouldn't RPG characters change from clunky armour to lighter clothes off the battlefield (a bikini would still be unrealistic as it would look ridiculous and fail to provide the necessary protection from the elements (especially important in a medieval world where the streets are covered in dung))
 

Hirato

Purse-Owner
Patron
Joined
Oct 16, 2010
Messages
4,002
Location
Australia
Codex 2012 Codex USB, 2014 Shadorwun: Hong Kong
Nothing wrong with Bikini armour; the skimpier the better!
And as an equal opportunity ogler, I have no issue if the guys in turn run around in armour that is fashioned solely after swimming trunks.

:bounce:
 

Ezeekiel

Liturgist
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
1,783
"In terms of overall gameplay, Mass Effect: Andromeda is by far the best in the series, offering greater variety than the others in terms of character progression, crafting, research and loot."
Wow. So the more shallow trash they throw at you, the more you like it? Rename yourselves to Popamolewatch you clowns!
 

Ezeekiel

Liturgist
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
1,783
"The combat system continues to build upon the one used in Mass Effect 3, and generally works well."

Wat

Also the review points out 5 pros and 5 cons but it's 4/5 stars at the end, makes sense...
 

Ezeekiel

Liturgist
Joined
Dec 19, 2016
Messages
1,783
I would pay money for a game where Shepard and crew shoot sjw created abominations.
Twitcher devs buy ME rights, create ME4: Milky way vs. degenerate andromeda galaxy sjws in a war of extinction. Would have shit combat because twitcher devs though...
 

cvv

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Mar 30, 2013
Messages
19,170
Location
Kingdom of Bohemia
Enjoy the Revolution! Another revolution around the sun that is.
RPG Watch has reviewed: https://www.rpgwatch.com/articles/mass-effect--andromeda-review-408.html

To be honest, I was skimming and came to this, and wasn't sure if it was all a joke and so stopped reading.

It's not a joke. This sentence:

All in all, it's a good game for players who enjoy exploring a science fiction setting, as the setting is still very good

is the essence of what RPGWatch is and stands for - a dull site full of middle-of-the-Bell-curve people with mundane taste stolidly recommending middling games to their equally nondescript readers.
 

flyingjohn

Arcane
Joined
May 14, 2012
Messages
3,238
The rpg watch review annoys me because it is the typical modern gamer review of everything.
Basically they describe a element and then either say it is very fun or it is broken without explaining what makes it fun or broken.
I mean just look at some of their bullshit:
"Exploration is fun because we say so and because people talk to us and tell us some information"
"The setting is interesting because we say so and the world has a lot of culture"
These two lines are useless because they don't tell you anything whatsoever,they are just generic descriptions by people who are too scared to actually form a critique of something.
A review is not a description,it is looking at the core game play elements,comparing them to others in the franchise/genre and then weighing are they functioning or nonfluctuating.
A rpg with broken rpg elements but with good lighting is broken,while a technical mess of a game with excellent rpg elements can still be amazing.
But i guess Andromeda is written by the same people who actually play these games considering the core problem of "Wanting to avoid conflict or deeper choices" is present in any modern game fan mindset.
 

oldmanpaco

Master of Siestas
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
13,628
Location
Winter
Reading in the comments of that review it looks like the guy just made a post in their forums that RPGWatch turned into a review after a week. Not sure if he is a regular reviewer but it sounds like he went into the game hoping he would like it and magically it was OK for him.
 

Padzi

Liturgist
Joined
Feb 24, 2017
Messages
1,062
Location
Auschwitz-Birkenau
Can someone give the source of these comics?
I want to send the artist a fruit basket and my heartfelt thanks.

I don't know Russian, but I'm pretty sure the 'flippy' dude on this page is the original source: http://me.reactor.cc/post/3061786

Thanks. But, Russia? My mission became two times harder. I will probably have to send a kalashnikov and a bottle vodka instead of the fruit basket.
This is what Russians like, right?
 

a cut of domestic sheep prime

Guest
OT: I was looking for more of those comics and found this by mistake:

Mass-Effect-%D1%84%D1%8D%D0%BD%D0%B4%D0%BE%D0%BC%D1%8B-ME-%D0%BA%D0%BE%D0%BC%D0%B8%D0%BA%D1%81%D1%8B-ME-gif-2197246.gif
Anyone else find it disturbing that broads would fantasize about not only romancing a weird bone faced alien, but also marrying him and having a weird alien/human hybrid baby?
 

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