Dawkinsfan69's Blizzcon 2019 Opening Ceremony Review:
1) Diablo IV:
I hate ARPGs. It's a mindless skinnerbox looter genre. They tend to be fun for the first hour or so, until you have a full ability bar and are literally stomping through everything without even paying attention to the game. Making Diablo for mobile was actually the correct decision on Blizz's part, because this genre is best played in 10 minute bursts (while taking a shit, etc..) to decompress. Diablo IV is completely unnecessary and probably won't have much of a playerbase but I feel like Blizz made it to pander to old nostalgic retards, the same reason they remade WoW Classic. I wouldn't be surprised if Immortal is much more successful.
By the way, the only saving grace of the genre, the necromancer class, isn't present. So fuck you, Blizz.
F
2) WoW: Shadowlands
Look at this artwork (trailer):
Now look at this (in-game):
Need I say any more? Trailers for WoW are and have always been incredibly badass, then you see in game footage and it's like "welcome to toon-land watch me auto-attack this spider for 5 minutes". WoW is awful, and no cinematic trailer will ever remedy this. They need to either rebuild the game from the ground up, or give up on it and just make movies. And we all know the game will just be more of the same: mindless grind to max level, then mindless grind to max gear, then mindless grind for the possibility of a +1 int butthole plug. Is blizz incapable of creating games that hold player attention without loot-addiction? Why do all of their games need to be some carrot-on-a-stick perpetual loot grind?
Trailer: A
Game: F
3) Hearthstone
I like Hearthstone, but the new keyword "invoke" and set seemingly based around Galakrond shows a lack of creativity. It's basically just a weaker reskin of C'thuun. Also, they showed a new "Ysera" which is actually a much weaker version of Ysera that's already in standard. So... Why? Nobody's going to play a garbage card like this.
That said, I like dragons and the set's based around dragons so that's p. cool I guess.
D (for dragon)
4) Hearthstone: Battlegrounds
Fuck
Autochess
It's already a dead genre, wtf are they even thinking??? get this shit out of my card game
F
5) Overwatch
Litereally who gives a fuck I can't be bothered to watch this dogshit
F
6) Starcraft
Uhh this is like the 5th year in a row with no announcements I can't even give a grade because they apparently don't give a fuck about any of their games unless they're loot-addiction shit
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So blizz fails to display a single creative cell in their entire
you know what fuck it this isn't worth my time