A game I programmed was released this year. I was only a lead programmer, the game director was the guy with the money and he wanted things done his way or the high way. Some of the game design wasn't good, I debated it with him until blue in the face, then eventually he couldn't take it anymore and became kinda hostile to any feedback I gave, so I stopped giving it. I managed to convince him to make some changes at the beginning, but it was a drop in the ocean.
Two things to say now that it's released.
1. You give a big portion of yourself to a project and then see streamers go "what a shit game man haha I'm uninstalling" - it's soul crushing.
I've heard people use the expression, but I never experienced it before. And it's not even your fault, and your couldn't have done anything else. The programming part you delivered did its job.
2. Whenever the design doc was lacking in details, I filled in the gaps with my own ideas of how things should be. There's definitely a portion of my game design in it.
Example: the streamers (I watched a lot of them for days) could never figure out how to split the stack in the inventory. They ended up convinced that it's unsplittable. It was terrible seeing this.
I did it like in World of Warcraft, but apparently that didn't translate at all. If we had playtesters, I would've seen it and changed it, but we were on a tight budget.
Looking at these design decisions (that are mine) falling flat on their face, big time, was another soul crushing experience. Not even humbling, but soul crushing.
To have a game you worked on super hard come out to "REVIEWS: NEGATIVE" on Steam is one of the saddest things you can get in any profession. I didn't understand how people could get emotional about their games before or talk so much about them 20 years later like Tim Cain does. Now I see.