Looks awesome, I like the Cathedral of Light reference.
Elhoim Has been doing phenomenal work with what little he has!
The writing is still good, evocative and interesting but logically inconsistent. The ship is crumbling into a metallic coffin for all those aboard and few people seem to care. Critical systems are going to fail in the next few decades and the most powerful factions are instead fighting for sections of maintenance tunnels and walkways. It all feels very stranded, as if every character in an area has no interest or connection to other areas of the ship.
I guess we'll first have to ask what piece of the story does he find inconsistent? What does the story mess up on? What needs to be explained? Then we can go from there, otherwise it's hard to address this particular piece of criticism. However, to give you a broad overview of the story. A while ago there were these dedicated people that wanted to get away from earth in order to find new land. Doesn't really matter why. Maybe there was a zombie apocalypse. Maybe humanity imploded all at once. Again the circumstances which lead to this group leaving earth isn't important. What's important is that a contingent of humanity went on this century-spanning long voyage; guaranteeing future generations to be shackled to the Mission as well. Both of which never to see earth, neither this promised land, and forever to live and die on the ship - ship born as they call it. Some generations later. Other folk didn't share that same fervor of sacrifice. Thus people rebelled, a civil war ensued, people died, ya da da.
Now I suppose what you can call "logically-inconsistent" is why the mutiny happened. Everyone has their own opinion on it. Brotherhood will give you their own version of events. A local citizen will give you his. Protectors will give you theirs. All of which probably contradicts with each other. Yet, that's the point. You have to piece the truth yourself in order to understand the whys and hows. My perspective, old authority was too authoritative: Tyranny at its most simplest form. Mutiny happened because old authority made people's lives way too hard.
Critical systems are going to fail in the next few decades
Regarding this. Game doesn't really explicitly specify the ship born have "decades". It's very vague on this. All we do know is that ship was damaged in some parts during civil war. Some systems are in disrepair; and that scavengers are looting components.
powerful factions are instead fighting for sections of maintenance tunnels and walkways.
Right. To go back to my summary from up above. Mutiny happens. Factions break off. Each having their own ideology as a result of this major event. What's generally accepted among these factions is that: they don't want another mutiny on their hands. However, as I mentioned earlier, everyone has their own interpretation on the whys and hows of which caused the mutiny, therein lies the conflict. Brotherhood believes in freedom from old ways. Protectors believe in old ways. Both of which see each other as a threat, thus fighting ensues. Church is caught somewhere in the middle; it's the most interesting faction to me because originally they didn't participate in the bloodshed. However when gun fire starts and bodies drop. You realize that sermons and prayers isn't going to be enough, and thus the faction had to adapt.
As to why skirmishes are being caused over random "tunnels and walkways"; well, that's war. Enemy wants x, you don't want them to take x, so you fight them over it. War is messy.
character in an area has no interest or connection to other areas of the ship.
Not sure what this is implying since characters do talk about other areas. Everyone and their mother talks about the Habitat. It's just that people who aren't involved in the feud with Brotherhood v Protector are focused on other things; such as survival.
almost no interactions for combat that can help you level the playing field.
This is false. Couple of examples from memory. During a quest to evict a group of squatters from a tower. You can sneak to side, use electronics to open door, then sabotage a certain machine in order to "force" said squatters out. During another quest to assassinate a right hand man of Jonas. You can enter his place from roof. Sneak inside. Then kill them off one by one without much trouble. Lastly, there are two quests within Habitat that give you loads of options. One is about investigating an N-tab illegal seller. If you have the right skills. You can sneak. Sabtaoge air condition with poison. Then start fight with them at low HP and low initiative. Another quest is about rooting out a troublemaker that threatens "social cohesion" of Brotherhood district. Again if you have the skills. You can hack a turret and have it kill the agitators. Lots of options in completing quests.
Moving to the most important bit: Combat. You either hate it or love it. Seems there's no inbetween. No point in discussing it since I believe it's fine. If you need help though. Do be free to ask for it. I do find it cute how combat in Colony Ship is constantly compared to Age of Decadence. Even though it's basically the same system.
Anyways to close off with. Colony Ship isn't interested in answering the question of whether or not interstellar travel is possible or even feasible. Or technicalities of the ship, and so on. It focuses on man. Man's struggle against himself. Man's fight for survival. The different factions, their ideologies, their history. Inter-faction fighting. This is what Iron Tower excels at. These are the kinds of stories it wants to tell. If humanity was forced to live in an isolated box cut off from greater society, what would it look like? How would its society evolve? Its ideals. Its way of living. Its governance over each other. Maybe the authors are a bit too cynical and pessimistic in portraying this. Yet, to me, it's entertaining and fun to read about this messed up society.