Dragon Age: Inquisition Pre-Release Thread

[Cadmus]

I don't like how they are announcing romances. I wouldn't mind them if I discovered them myself like sort of a side story (not a quest) and I would think to myself "oh this is kinda neat"
But maybe in this day the meta is so strong that I would go in expecting them anyways.

 

[RK47]

I don't like how they are announcing romances. I wouldn't mind them if I discovered them myself like sort of a side story (not a quest) and I would think to myself "oh this is kinda neat"
But maybe in this day the meta is so strong that I would go in expecting them anyways.

Thats why I dont read this thread. To0 much Spoiler Lah

 

[Joni Odin von Hassenstein]

I don't like how they are announcing romances. I wouldn't mind them if I discovered them myself like sort of a side story (not a quest) and I would think to myself "oh this is kinda neat"
But maybe in this day the meta is so strong that I would go in expecting them anyways.

Thats why I dont read this thread. To0 much Spoiler Lah

That's really a problem for me too. One can't escape knowing basically everything about DA:I before the release if reading Codex, Watch or even regular gaming sites.

 

[Stainless Veteran]

"When comparing Iron Bull to food, Patrick Weekes describes him as "either rump roast for size or chili dog for delicious bad decisions." [src]"

It seems that Chris Priestly have disseminated his spores on other Bio employees.

 

[DraQ]

50 Shades of Bull.

An apt summary of Bioware.

 

[Somberlain]

It has been confirmed that Iron Bull will fuck anything and everything.

The Iron Bull is romanceable by an Inquisitor of any race or gender. Previously, Bull was meant to be race-gated, due to technical limitations. Only specific races could ride the Bull because of the difference in height between races (Bull is tall and a very, very large man). Bull was also written with lines that explained why he could not romance the Inquisitor. However, thanks to the animation team, as well as John Epler (Cinematic Designer), you can now write your own version of 50 Shades of Bull.

Is this true... because if so, it is too vile even for Bioware. I'm sure EA would have stepped in and said, "What the FUCK are you doing, are you making a video game or a sex simulator?!"

No one expects a gameplay focused inquisiton.

 

[Stainless Veteran]

It has been confirmed that Iron Bull will fuck anything and everything.

The Iron Bull is romanceable by an Inquisitor of any race or gender. Previously, Bull was meant to be race-gated, due to technical limitations. Only specific races could ride the Bull because of the difference in height between races (Bull is tall and a very, very large man). Bull was also written with lines that explained why he could not romance the Inquisitor. However, thanks to the animation team, as well as John Epler (Cinematic Designer), you can now write your own version of 50 Shades of Bull.

Is this true... because if so, it is too vile even for Bioware. I'm sure EA would have stepped in and said, "What the FUCK are you doing, are you making a video game or a sex simulator?!"

Eh, they couldn't make a decent sex simulator even if they tried. I mean, in this 50 shades of Bull report from that chick (or tranny, or whatever) there is this hilarious snippet:

OPEN, CONSENSUAL ROMANCES

These romances do not exist (yet) in Dragon Age because "scripting destroys you," according to Patrick Weekes. While Bioware has considered implementing polyamorous relationships, it is a nightmare to code. In order to have such a romance, here's what could possibly happen:

Player wants to be with A and B.
A is OK with a polyamorous relationship.
B is OK with a polyamorous relationship.
Player can romance A and B simultaneously. Perhaps...with each other.
"Scripting breaks down every time" and while polyamorous relationships are possible in the future, it's difficult.

FFS, Japanese developers made harem endings for what, nearly 30 years now? If your coders are way worse than even shitty jap devs, who are making dating sims for smartphones... Well, it's a good time for self-reflection, I think.

 

[Tom Selleck]

One does wonder how many hours of Dragon Age have been played with a cock out. (Or flappy, mash-potato post-op vag).

They should put that into their next infographic.

 

[Kem0sabe]

Is this true... because if so, it is too vile even for Bioware. I'm sure EA would have stepped in and said, "What the FUCK are you doing, are you making a video game or a sex simulator?!"

Who is this Lady Insanity? Fan or developer?

Fan, but the information was added to Dragon Age Wiki.

http://www.ladyinsanity.com/blog/gaymerx2-building-better-romance
http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Iron_Bull

 

[DraQ]

fuckin bioware

How about catering to audiences not defined solely by their sexual urges and skin color?

My fucking cat has richer inner life than typical biowhore, it seems, so did my dog.

 

[Brzęczyszczykiewicz]

How about catering to audiences not defined solely by their sexual urges and skin color?

My fucking cat has richer inner life than typical biowhore, it seems, so did my dog.

They are catering to "anti-racist" and "anti-sexist" audience defines themselves and everyone around them by their skin color, sex, and sexual orientation.

 

[DraQ]

The worst part:
That sinking feeling when you try to lighten the mood and start saying "still a better love story than Twi... oh".

Hopw roewur ne.

They are catering to "anti-racist" and "anti-sexist" audience defines themselves and everyone around them by their skin color, sex, and sexual orientation.

I may be old fashioned (and thus racist and homophobic by default), but back in my times being against racism or homophobia simply meant not fucking caring whether a *person* was black or gay or whatever.

While games like Divinity OS and MMX wallow in archaic stagnation, Bioware boldly pushes the genre forward

And off the cliff, we all hope.

This asshole would make an interesting point for RPGs - if it talked about humans as well.
But I guess "humanity" is a cis male oppressive construct.
Only female lesbian dragons need non violent approaches.

It's humans who make biowaste games like DA saga and ass defect.
Your point?

 

[DraQ]

I liked DA:O. But I hate companions playing a role beyond having a stat sheet and there is good reason for it. (Fenris leaving my party broke DA2 for me far more than any other design choice.)

Now. I'm not a guy with many friends or relationships, because I find it fucking difficult to find either. However, this is mostly because I am insanely picky. Whatever the case, I happily fit into the deviant basement dweller paradigm - being gay and a furry and a whole bunch of other bullshit. So, the image you guys create of the BSN crowd, fits me perfectly well. Only, I am not part of that crowd.

To me game characters, just like their irl counterparts, have always been pretty boring. I don't find people very interesting; I find ideas interesting. Bioware characters lack ideas - as do most of the game industry, so don't get me wrong. It doesn't matter how awesome you are or how much you are into me, or have cataclysmic your past is. Ultimately you are fucking boring in the present. Try and sell me an idea and I will be interested. It really is that simple. Bioware completely and utter fails in that. Bioware wants to make me emotional over "issues". I'm not emotional over issues. I never will be. What I need is a conversation with ideology. Tease the intellectual part of me.

Would twice.

Gay furry is an oxymoron. All furries are gay by default.

Actually nope even though there is a pretty high gay furries percentage - although my pet theory is that this is partly a result of furry fandom being more permissive which re-colours the natural orientation spectra somewhat, and that it concentrates on depicting people's fursonas a lot which shifts the perception of people's own orientation towards gay, but I digress.

(Overlooking obvious failure at grasping what an oxymoron is.)

You know, I /don't/ expect to ever have an intellectual argument in a game. It's practically impossible. Which is exactly my reasoning as to why companions are bullshit.

You could (potentially) have a setting or plot permitting intellectual exploration, though.

Great Devoid, final resting place of the Leveler.

I'll keep this one if you don't mind.

 

[ZagorTeNej]

DraQ be my guest.

 

[Goat Vomit]

One does wonder how many hours of Dragon Age have been played with a cock out. (Or flappy, mash-potato post-op vag).

They should put that into their next infographic.

I'm glad you wondered, I've made a poll to see what sexuality a random sample of the DA's core player base consists of. These are my results:

Pretty much all discussion at this point about DA:I is about romance, these people who voted probably mostly care about who their character can fuck and doesn't give a shit about game mechanics, so now you know who faps to what.

 

[Somberlain]

My fucking cat

Inner lives aside, you'd clearly make a great additon to Bioware's fanbase

 

[Raghar]

I'm glad you wondered, I've made a poll to see what sexuality a random sample of the DA's core player base consists of. These are my results:

Pretty much all discussion at this point about DA:I is about romance, these people who voted probably mostly care about who their character can fuck and doesn't give a shit about game mechanics, so now you know who faps to what.

Thus results of statistics are
61.764705882 are straight.
13.235294117 are fuck another male ouzy stuff.
25 are we don't care if it's male or female we want to fuck.

I excerpted girls from statistics.
1. because theirs ratio lesbian to straight is too high.
2. because being excluded from anything would piss them off.

 

[murloc_gypsy]

Sweet lord jesus, this shit is just too much. WHO THE FUCK cares about all the romances anyway? Could someone tell me who in the dev team comes up with all these and how exactly they have explained it as being fucking relevant in a fucking GAME?!

EDIT: It's like some creepy, cheesy love-triangle (god knows what geometrical form it would actually be) from some shitty Spanish soap-opera. I CRY--

 

[Tommy Wiseau]

Wait, is that a romanceable, bisexual... qunari? Ugh

 

[kris]

Sweet lord jesus, this shit is just too much. WHO THE FUCK cares about all the romances anyway?

I don't know, do you see anyone posting about it?

 

[muds_animal_friend]

I liked DA:O. But I hate companions playing a role beyond having a stat sheet ...

I'd brofisted this ten times if I could. But, as this is a Bioware thread, I feel compelled to point out only in a platonic, all manly chums together, rugby football sort of manner.

 

[set]

I liked DA:O. But I hate companions playing a role beyond having a stat sheet ...

I'd brofisted this ten times if I could. But, as this is a Bioware thread, I feel compelled to point out only in a platonic, all manly chums together, rugby football sort of manner.

I don't get this at all. I think some of the more interesting parts of a game are where our "stat sheets" and pulled out from under us and we need to adapt. The game just stagnates -- especially if you're abusing some broken character to win the game. Of course, bullshit is bullshit, but I liked it when Kreia lost her hand in KOTOR2 and similarly enjoy it when our characters are permamnently changed or killed. As long as the player has some choice in the matter...

Besides, you shouldn't have been using that dumb elf anyway, he was gross and stupid.

 

[Xenich]

Hmm...

So 4/6 characters so far are gay?

 

[Nikaido]

Hmm...

So 4/6 characters so far are gay?

The bull is pansexual. Meaning, as long as it has a hole.

 

[murloc_gypsy]

Romance Age: Double-Penetration
>now featuring gameplay