Dragon Age Dragon Age: The Veilguard Thread

[H. P. Lovecraft's Cat]

I'm sorry, I know I'm already biased to nitpicking, but I legitimately had to pause and laugh for a good solid minute at this line, somehow still with my rock-bottom expectation it manages to catch me off guard:

https://youtu.be/Tr8h2BzedNI?t=3826

"Oh no! Demons! And right where we need to go!"

Like no fucking shit girl, baddies are gonna show up to stop you, that's already been overexplained twelve times like everything else in the game. But then all I could think about were baddies spawning in around some random location, and just waiting around, looking at their watches, rattling to each other "Are you sure the heroes are coming this way?" "I mean the map said ...." "C'mon, look at the floor there's only one direction to go!" "I know but it's been hours...." "Maybe they're still in character creation?"

"Oh no! Bad guys! And, to make things worse, right in the direct path that we, the heroes, would like to take!" I'm serious I'm genuinely struggling to think of a line in any game, ever, that is this stupid.

And it goes on like this.

For some reason they included a turret section, which people were already clowning in Duke Nukem Forever for being a boring cliche mechanic. I honestly stood there a second thinking "no way they're really doing this." And even still they manage to make it stupider:

https://youtu.be/Tr8h2BzedNI?t=4544

"More Darkspawn! Right where you broke the wall!"

Wtf bitch, where else are they gonna come from? Is this game genuinely worried that their players are going to lose focus in the microsecond between firing the shot and the very clear hordes of enemies that emerge behind it?

Why are you playing this? And don't say it's for the lulz, that wont save you.

 

[Cat Headed Eagle]

a-are those actual lines in the game

 

[Assisted Living Godzilla]

The Monster Hunter Wilds beta has 428,423 people on Steam playing it right now, with a peak of 463,798. This game peaked at 70,414 and has 44,938 people playing at the moment.

 

[Spectral Pontifex]

Why are you playing this? And don't say it's for the lulz, that wont save you.

He should do a barve.

 

[sebas]

Prologue:

You're an Antivan Crow that pissed of the group, got kicked out and sent to live with your auntie in Tevinter. Along the way you just so happen to meet with Varric and Harding who are trailing Solas trying to stop him from bringing forth the *drumroll* END OF THE WORLD! But since I guess they were bored sucking eachother off all alone as they were, they just so happen to take you along with them maybe to try a threesome, maybe to save the world, maybe to hit up some bars. You know, it's Varric!

Aaaanyway the three of you go meet some informant in Tevinter who just so happens to have tracked down Solas. I assume using binoculars 'cos that bitch ain't walking around much with grandpa's cane for a leg. Or maybe by smell, her hooked nose certainly looks like it belongs on a bloodhound. So anyway as you meet with her it just so happens that the fucking sky starts falling apart and demons are coming out every orifice killing everything in their path. I guess demons hate dwarves though, because they all tiptoe circles around as to never cross your path giving you personal space and freedum to continue forth trying to get frontrow seats to the apocalypse. But then holdup! as you get closer you notice a building way down that might...What? Hold on, we got Jerry on the line!: "Why yes codex, that spooky building is absolutely the source of the apocalypse!".

So now you're thinking screw front row seats better use this zipline that just so happens to be in front of you to go down and check out dat spookie place. You go down, Varric the old donkey complains he's too old for this shit! and as you enter the crib you notice a giant GIANT! fucking ass mirror in a room. Abracadabra! Plimplomplum! the mirror turns out to be a portal to an ancient elven land.

You step in and out of the portal and, would you believe it? It just so happens that you can see Solas frolicking with some statues up ahead. Now you're running and running, slinging crazy colored shit at demons and when you get there, when you get like 10 meters from Solas' backside you then stop!

...

and form a huddle.

Varric says he wants to holla at him and you can't really say no just like you couldn't to your parish priest, so yeah you just go along with it. Varric goes up to Solas all like "Hey Chuckles, would you kindly stop tearing the Veil open or such?". And then, I swear to god, Solas then drops him the craaaaaayziest middle-aged angry bald elf look I have ever seen! So much so that it tears Bianca right from Varric's hands.

Now, what to do, what to do you need a new plan! Well look at that, it just so happens that the Nepalese workers that refurbished the statues have left scafolding around them "Sars! Cleaning bangladeshi, no us!".



And the rest I will never ever know because that's all I could swallow. I wanted to play the game do some memes and laugh about it but the game is just absolutely terrible.

 

[gongal]

A black disabled woman.
An asian disabled woman.
A dwarf woman.

All acting retarded with dialogues written by a mentally ill troon, and it's just the first two hours of the "game".

How can people play this slop is absolutely insane to me.

 

[Nelka]

The Monster Hunter Wilds beta has 428,423 people on Steam playing it right now, with a peak of 463,798. This game peaked at 70,414 and has 44,938 people playing at the moment.

Chuds rather to play some game where you slash some big stupid monster for 30 minutes instead of REAL roleplay game with deep choices and rich story?!?!
Hmm..

Okay we need more trans and gay people in the next Bioware game. Shepard... you just lost a dick.

 

[goregasm]

It's pulling in FC Manager 2016 peak player numbers. Resounding success for the suicide squad.

 

[Gahbreeil]

The game is crap from what I've seen. Anyone here actually likes it enough to repeat themselves?

BioTard tags?

 

[Assisted Living Godzilla]

The Monster Hunter Wilds beta has 428,423 people on Steam playing it right now, with a peak of 463,798. This game peaked at 70,414 and has 44,938 people playing at the moment.

Chuds rather to play some game where you slash some big stupid monster for 30 minutes instead of REAL roleplay game with deep choices and rich story?!?!
Hmm..

Okay we need more trans and gay people in the next Bioware game. Shepard... you just lost a dick.

Next BioWare game?

 

[Fargus]

Who are the writers for this game? I know lead writer is some retard (Pa)Trick Weekes, who worked at Bioware since Mass Effect. Guess his retardation was kept in check for the most part like with other clowns.

Trick Weekes lives in Edmonton, Canada with their wife Karin Weekes and their two sons. Trick Weekes uses they/them pronouns and identifies as pansexual and non-binary.

I wonder if wife and kids indulge in his mental illness and call this idiot they\them?



What about the rest? The heroes deserve recognition.

 

[Nelka]

The Monster Hunter Wilds beta has 428,423 people on Steam playing it right now, with a peak of 463,798. This game peaked at 70,414 and has 44,938 people playing at the moment.

Chuds rather to play some game where you slash some big stupid monster for 30 minutes instead of REAL roleplay game with deep choices and rich story?!?!
Hmm..

Okay we need more trans and gay people in the next Bioware game. Shepard... you just lost a dick.

Next BioWare game?

We can't let them disband. Imagine if those people would just go and influence other studios. And I mean, they are already working on new Mass Effect game.

 

[goregasm]

Who are the writers for this game? I know lead writer is some retard (Pa)Trick Weekes, who worked at Bioware since Mass Effect. Guess his retardation was kept in check for the most part like with other clowns.

Trick Weekes lives in Edmonton, Canada with their wife Karin Weekes and their two sons. Trick Weekes uses they/them pronouns and identifies as pansexual and non-binary.

I wonder if wife and kids indulge in his mental illness and call this idiot they\them?



What about the rest? The heroes deserve recognition.

You think he has a wife? Probably a resident pegger.

As a father I pray he doesn't have kids.

 

[BruceVC]

I remember when people was angry on Bioware because you needed romance Zevran to learn ability :D

Idea for the next Bioware game - you get specific *active* abilities based on who you romance and your gender. The two-handed or sword and board ability is unlocked only if you are transgender.

If this were really the case, it would mean that Bioware is thinking about some connection between the mechanics and the plot. And clearly in this company there are two completely independent branches.

Like the "I'm non-binary" scene, the writing here feels EXACTLY like some troon writer trying to cope with xer existence by making xer real-life thoughts into in-game text.

I wonder if this turbocringe interaction is "locked" behind selecting they/them pronouns or is happening by default to everyone.

Oh, just look at this. The answer cannot be expressed in words, but you know it:



Are you try to have sex with me?

When I see videos like this all I can say is I REALLY miss the days of Isabella or Morrigan Romance arcs

Those were the days when Bioware didn't have issues with normal and attractive women

 

[Warrax]

And there it is:

 

[Camel]

Some people from the BioWare refugees forum hate the game and a mod locked the criticism thread.

 

[Thalstarion]

Nah, it's fine if they disband - the real fight is to change the laws if this stuff is to go the way of the dodo. Not just the laws, either - the terms of service for pretty much any discussion site that isn't this one where you risk getting banned/censored even if you're perfectly polite and civil if you so much as lean slightly conservative on any given issue.

 

[Fargus]

Who are the writers for this game? I know lead writer is some retard (Pa)Trick Weekes, who worked at Bioware since Mass Effect. Guess his retardation was kept in check for the most part like with other clowns.

Trick Weekes lives in Edmonton, Canada with their wife Karin Weekes and their two sons. Trick Weekes uses they/them pronouns and identifies as pansexual and non-binary.

I wonder if wife and kids indulge in his mental illness and call this idiot they\them?



What about the rest? The heroes deserve recognition.

You think he has a wife? Probably a resident pegger.

As a father I pray he doesn't have kids.

He does have a wife and two future life fuck ups as i mentioned in the post. May the God have mercy on their souls.

 

[kapisi]

Dragon's Dogma 2 is a big hit for Capcom, selling 2.5 million copies across PC via Steam, PlayStation 5, and Xbox Series X and S in just 11 days.
228,585 all-time peak 8 months ago
Same-ish score on Metacritic
Comparable hype and audience?
By this metric, Veilguard sales are less than a million in the first week.

 

[sebas]

 

[Basshead]

If you want to actually understand the world, or people for that matter, I’d stay far away from any church

That's stupid. See, I thought critically about it, and that's how it turns out.

You’re a degenerate yourself most likely. Stop posting pseudo intellectual drivel with no grasp of philosophy that asks no interesting questions. Youre basically wanking off in here and haven’t made even one semi interesting sentence. The world is a complex place. There are many different reasons for our problems and many actors operating on different principles for different purposes in an ever changing landscape. You can’t simplify things or look for easy answers, because there aren’t any and by doing so you’ve ended up in the cognitive bias trap or binary thinking. You oversimplified everything to fit your narrow view and think that *gasp* degeneracy is to blame for it all. That’s just straight up ignorant. What do you even mean by degeneracy? You brought up strict adherence to orthodoxy as a potential solution. So basically you want to go to a church and follow their instructions and this will somehow save us all from gays or some other thing. If you want to actually understand the world, or people for that matter, I’d stay far away from any church. Magical thinking will only make your irrational connections and cognitive biases worse. Learn to think critically as a starting point and starting questioning some of your assumptions as a step one to not being an idiot.

I think you wrote a lot about yourself and your obsessions here, nothing about what I wrote. That's probably why it's so inconsistent and uninteresting.

There was nothing more to say on what you wrote because it was literally nothing more than a word salad trying to sound profound. No substance to even debate. It was that retarded. Like most on here. Big board of dummies looking thinking they’re edgy for preaching Jewish religion and values as if that’s somehow edgy. It isn’t. It just shows how desperate and stupid you are.

 

[gongal]

Who are the writers for this game? I know lead writer is some retard (Pa)Trick Weekes, who worked at Bioware since Mass Effect. Guess his retardation was kept in check for the most part like with other clowns.

Trick Weekes lives in Edmonton, Canada with their wife Karin Weekes and their two sons. Trick Weekes uses they/them pronouns and identifies as pansexual and non-binary.

I wonder if wife and kids indulge in his mental illness and call this idiot they\them?



What about the rest? The heroes deserve recognition.

You think he has a wife? Probably a resident pegger.

As a father I pray he doesn't have kids.

He does have a wife and two future life fuck ups as i mentioned in the post. May the God have mercy on their souls.

The fact that this fucking thing has children is terrifying. Actually feeling sorry for them.

 

[Sunri]

This game is boring af not even cringe funny

 

[fantadomat]

 

[NecroLord]

Did this really outsell bro game Black Ops 6? That's actually depressing jf true. We're a doomed species.

"""""""""""RPGs""""""""""""" outselling broshooters wouldn't surprise me in this post-BG3 climate.

Broshooters?
More like slopshooters.