From Software Elden Ring - From Software's new game with writing by GRRM

[Child of Malkav]

Elden Ring shills when someone is bad at the game "Lol, git gud bro. You say you don't like the game but you clearly just don't have the skill required to enjoy all the complex movesets!"

Elden Ring shills when someone is good at the game "What a pathetic no life loser. Maybe you'd enjoy the game if you lighten up and use some summons!"

The From fanbase has to be one of the top 3 worst fanbases out there.
I'm not saying it's the worst as apparently there is competition, but it's definitely up there.

 

[Child of Malkav]

BTW I didn't even know there's 3 putrid crystallins as I stopped exploring everything mid late into the game. Also, night maiden's mist melts these guys. Well, their other versions but I assume these as well.

 

[Child of Malkav]

Welp, Malenia drove me to break my vow and for the first time since the abortive trial against Draconic Tree Sentinel (we got ganked by an invader then I got gud), I swallowed my pride, used a Furlcalling Finger Remedy and summoned two bros. THEN I procedeed to die two more times before succeeding, death by Waterfowl obviously. That was dumb, because by that point I had learned to avoid it quite reliably, or at least to only take minimal damage from it. The third and winning try was actually kinda hilarious, we were all spamming Swarm of Flies (really strong spell, shame I only discovered it now) and the constant bleed procs kept stunlocking her into MOAR swarms of flies, Bleed still OP even without a build for it. Bitch got humiliated and I don't even feel bad about it.

As penance though, I spent the next hour sunbroing in front of her. Out of the dozen or so attempts, only two succeeded; the amount of times I saw a host get gibbed by her Blooming orbital nuke (the one she starts the second phase with) or walk around with less than a 1000 hp was really shocking to me. But penance was had nonetheless, now onto the final bosses. At least she's supposed to be the strongest boss in the game, so it should be easier now, right? Right?

If she does the waterfowl attack, you don't win. If she doesn't, you win. Her other attacks are manageable, some even easy. It comes down to RNG. She does the thing? Welp, try again. She doesn't do the thing? First try.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Beat a couple more bosses today, Red Wolf of Radagan and Glinstone Dragon, the former on the first try, the latter with a lot of horse riding.

Clearing Raya Lucaria now, and just had one of those moments: Those fucking metal statues on wheels that spin anchors around, I was blocking the attacks and dealing damage when suddenly it's effing belly opens up and 2 more hands pull you inside with a grab. I had the same impression on my face as Shrek and Donkey when they came to Cumquat's town and that welcome music thingie played.

Where are they going with this enemy design? Logic and common sense are going out the window, and they are just plopping shit together that makes no sense at all, like wtf are those statues supposed to be in the game world?

 

[Wunderbar]

Clearing Raya Lucaria now, and just had one of those moments: Those fucking metal statues on wheels that spin anchors around, I was blocking the attacks and dealing damage when suddenly it's effing belly opens up and 2 more hands pull you inside with a grab. I had the same impression on my face as Shrek and Donkey when they came to Cumquat's town and that welcome music thingie played.

Where are they going with this enemy design? Logic and common sense are going out the window, and they are just plopping shit together that makes no sense at all, like wtf are those statues supposed to be in the game world?

did you die from the grab? If not, try getting grabbed again, but this time on low health.

 

[Sunri]

Beat a couple more bosses today, Red Wolf of Radagan and Glinstone Dragon, the former on the first try, the latter with a lot of horse riding.

Clearing Raya Lucaria now, and just had one of those moments: Those fucking metal statues on wheels that spin anchors around, I was blocking the attacks and dealing damage when suddenly it's effing belly opens up and 2 more hands pull you inside with a grab. I had the same impression on my face as Shrek and Donkey when they came to Cumquat's town and that welcome music thingie played.

Where are they going with this enemy design? Logic and common sense are going out the window, and they are just plopping shit together that makes no sense at all, like wtf are those statues supposed to be in the game world?

They are constructs that abduct people to Mt. Gelmir.

 

[Sunri]

BTW I didn't even know there's 3 putrid crystallins as I stopped exploring everything mid late into the game. Also, night maiden's mist melts these guys. Well, their other versions but I assume these as well.

You can parry them quite easily, when I did my cuck mage run, I just parried them and killed them with basic mace.

 

[illuknisaa]

Most of them had some sort of unique gimmick that made playing through them fun at least once.

I don't remember that at all. The only "unique gimmick" I remember were the ones with shadow enemies that you had to lead into light. I guess there was the spike wheel things. Those were just annoying.

I agree with everything else you said tho.

Edit

Fuck I think I missed some of the divine towers on my first playthrough. How tf did I manage that?

On top of my head there was the one with bunch of teleporters, one that had multiple identical "layers" to confuse you, one with hard to kill skeletons, one where you could into another dungeon with hanging astel monster, the infighting dungeons, one had the boss room hidden behind several secret walls, the one where you make a prison escape. etc.

 

[Wunderbar]

BTW I didn't even know there's 3 putrid crystallins as I stopped exploring everything mid late into the game. Also, night maiden's mist melts these guys. Well, their other versions but I assume these as well.

crystallians become normal trashmobs in Haligtree.

 

[Lyric Suite]

Guys, why is Radmane castle completely empty?

 

[Shackleton]

Guys, why is Radmane castle completely empty?

Are you on the way to meet Blaidd and attend the festival? If you're on that stage of Ranni's quest, I think the lore is that Blaidd has already assaulted the castle and took care of most of the defenders. Either that, or they just put the castle on 'visitor mode' lol.

Once you've done what you need to do, rest again at the campfire nearest the festival site and things might change.

 

[mediocrepoet]

BTW I didn't even know there's 3 putrid crystallins as I stopped exploring everything mid late into the game. Also, night maiden's mist melts these guys. Well, their other versions but I assume these as well.

crystallians become normal trashmobs in Haligtree.

Before that, even. Like in the upper level of Liurnia once you open it up.

 

[SumDrunkGuy]

Guys, why is Radmane castle completely empty?

Because Radahn ate everybody I suppose.

 

[SumDrunkGuy]

The From fanbase has to be one of the top 3 worst fanbases out there.
I'm not saying it's the worst as apparently there is competition, but it's definitely up there.

Hey just because we're better than everybody doesn't give you the right to judge us OKAY!?

 

[Lyric Suite]

So out of curiosity i put a gold sign on the ground and host summed everybody. Blaidd, Alexander, Patches, everything was there lmao. I assume that part is scripted like that, right? Gives you plenty of chances to slap rotten breath.

But just because i love you guys i'm going full melee lul. All though his move set seems to be a bitch he doesn't seem to have any limit to his stamina.

 

[Lyric Suite]

Lmao i walked in and he hit me right in the face with the first arrow and finished me off with the second. I fucking hate those arrow attacks, the arrows feel like they are homing on you (probably they do too).

 

[Lyric Suite]

Err, erm.

One question. Is there, is there like a tiny horse where his dick should be? I tried sparring with him then i saw it, and while i stood there gaping he smashed my skull in.

 

[CyberWhale]

Lmao i walked in and he hit me right in the face with the first arrow and finished me off with the second. I fucking hate those arrow attacks, the arrows feel like they are homing on you (probably they do too).

You can jump to side in the last moment and evade them, but yeah, arrows in general are way overpowered and too precise in this game. Most of them will also stagger or even knock you out in addition to dealing huge amounts of damage. Shit design is shit, but I guess in some situations it emphasizes the need to utilize stealth and tactical approach to cleaning the map.

 

[Wunderbar]

Err, erm.

One question. Is there, is there like a tiny horse where his dick should be? I tried sparring with him then i saw it, and while i stood there gaping he smashed my skull in.

did you watch the cutscene

 

[Lyric Suite]

Err, erm.

One question. Is there, is there like a tiny horse where his dick should be? I tried sparring with him then i saw it, and while i stood there gaping he smashed my skull in.

did you watch the cutscene

I did, but i though he was off the horse when fighting him. The fuck is that.

 

[perfectslumbers]

Guys, why is Radmane castle completely empty?

Radahns soldiers have organised a festival where all the greatest warriors in the land go to Redmane castle to put him down (because he's gone insane from rot)

 

[Caim]

Err, erm.

One question. Is there, is there like a tiny horse where his dick should be? I tried sparring with him then i saw it, and while i stood there gaping he smashed my skull in.

That's Leonard. He always was a scrawny little horse even before Radahn started doing barrels of steroids at a time and became huge. But Radahn was a softie and didn't want to leave his loyal steed behind, so he went to Sellia to learn how to do gravity magic so that he could make himself lighter and continue to ride his faithful steed into battle.

 

[Lithium Flower]

Where are they going with this enemy design? Logic and common sense are going out the window, and they are just plopping shit together that makes no sense at all, like wtf are those statues supposed to be in the game world?

You are talking about an enemy that is immediately evocative of possibly the most (in)famous torture device to be referenced in popular media: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_maiden

It is astounding how little you know - about anything - considering your advanced age. "Metal woman-shaped statue thing opens up??? And there are spikes inside?!?!? No way!!"

Please read a book to preserve the last few of your geriatric brain cells. Or a newspaper. Or one of those brochures the nice lady in white hands out in your home's lobby to the visiting families of other residents.

 

[Echo Mirage]

Guys, why is Radmane castle completely empty?

That's my opinion of Caelid in general.

 

[Kjaska]

BTW I didn't even know there's 3 putrid crystallins as I stopped exploring everything mid late into the game. Also, night maiden's mist melts these guys. Well, their other versions but I assume these as well.

In Elphael the "3 putrid crystalians" are used twice as a regular enemy configuration. Granted, you can cheese them much better due to terrain and you can also pull them individually.

did you die from the grab? If not, try getting grabbed again, but this time on low health.

AFAIK this only works with the special on at the bottom of Raya Lucaria. Every other Iron Virgin will just kill you.

That's Leonard. He always was a scrawny little horse even before Radahn started doing barrels of steroids at a time and became huge. But Radahn was a softie and didn't want to leave his loyal steed behind, so he went to Sellia to learn how to do gravity magic so that he could make himself lighter and continue to ride his faithful steed into battle.

Please don't tarnish a great man's reputation like that. Radahn's size is most likely due to him having Giant in his genes.