From Software Elden Ring - From Software's new game with writing by GRRM

[Brickfrog]

Man your really mad at that guy for summoning an npc huh

Anyway lol:

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

This is funny, I literally recorded that fight earlier today, solo, no magic, no bleed, etc. I'll upload and post it later just to remind you how badly you suck at gaming, life, and probably everything else. Now quit whining.

To quote the great Crispy, you seem upset.

Let's see the video, based on the previous video you posted with the valiant gargoyles, you have no skill whatsoever. On the other hand, having no life and a bad taste, this is probably your 20th play-through of Elden Ring, so I wouldn't be surprised if you memorized every single attack.

Trolololol... Summoned the NPC right outside the boss fight room, and killed the Godskin Duo on the first fucking try, with like 2-3 flasks. Between me and the NPC spamming attacks, we just stun-locked both those fucks to death in 3 minutes:

What kind of loser brags about beating the fight with training wheels like a bitch?

Lol, you are so butthurt by me, you are not even reading the words in front of you. That post was not me bragging, I was trashing the trash combat in the game. Wow, bre, take a deep breath and relax.

 

[NJClaw]

I'd like to correct my statement:

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

The irony being that it is you and mediocrepoot and Doink of Banville sperging out. I am just playing a game, making videos showing my elite skills, and submitting valid criticism of said game.

This apparently makes you village idiots froth at the mouth. Every single post of mine which has nothing to do with any of you makes you pour out of the woodwork and start ranting. But yeah, tell me more about my spergouts.

 

[mediocrepoet]

This is funny, I literally recorded that fight earlier today, solo, no magic, no bleed, etc. I'll upload and post it later just to remind you how badly you suck at gaming, life, and probably everything else. Now quit whining.

To quote the great Crispy, you seem upset.

Let's see the video, based on the previous video you posted with the valiant gargoyles, you have no skill whatsoever. On the other hand, having no life and a bad taste, this is probably your 20th play-through of Elden Ring, so I wouldn't be surprised if you memorized every single attack.

Trolololol... Summoned the NPC right outside the boss fight room, and killed the Godskin Duo on the first fucking try, with like 2-3 flasks. Between me and the NPC spamming attacks, we just stun-locked both those fucks to death in 3 minutes:

What kind of loser brags about beating the fight with training wheels like a bitch?

Lol, you are so butthurt by me, you are not even reading the words in front of you. That post was not me bragging, I was trashing the trash combat in the game. Wow, bre, take a deep breath and relax.

Not upset. I did think it was funny that you were complaining about this fight since I really did record it earlier. But otherwise, yeah. I have stopped reading your posts other than the occasional skim because I'm pretty sure I could throw together a subject into an algorithm and come up with your posts. You've exceeded my tolerance for inanity this month and it's literally the first day.

Anyway, yes. Terrible design. Here's a twofer of my lack of skill, Mr. Cowers behind cover while the NPC runs in to fight.
But either way, as I've said before, I'm not saying I'm good. I'm saying you're terrible. Most people will understand the difference.



There's an audio issue at the end because I clipped out a map opening. Video editing is interesting, I haven't tried it before this week. It seems fun.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

I am glad I am living so rent free in your head that you are now making videos specifically for me.

Not bad, you only got hit like 20 times, but I guess after 20 play-throughs, you got their patterns down to where you can successfully dodge like 50% of their stuff. The main difference was you do a ton more damage than me, even though I have a +23 weapon, so I am guessing you've done quite a lot of meta-research to adjust your weapons/build. This is obviously my first build so I am just playing with a simple, single weapon. Now where that comes into play is let's say you do 4 times as much damage as me, so if you got hit 20 times during that video, it would take me 4 times as long to kill them, so I would take 80 hits, which obviously makes it a lot tougher to survive.

But it's ok, I guess when someone has your inferior skills, you have to resort to meta-builds and stuff.

 

[mediocrepoet]

let's say you do 4 times as much damage as me, so if you got hit 20 times during that video, it would take me 4 times as long to kill them, so I would take 80 hits, which obviously makes it a lot tougher to survive.

Alright, you win. This convoluted non-logic actually did annoy me which is making me laugh. You asshat.

 

[Bigg Boss]

PSA: Today's reminder that arguing with Porky is kind of like shitting your pants, except less profound and much less enjoyable.

I never realized this until I witnessed it first hand. Porky you are a cool dude but how autistic are you on a scale from Elon Musk to Rainman?

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

PSA: Today's reminder that arguing with Porky is kind of like shitting your pants, except less profound and much less enjoyable.

I never realized this until I witnessed it first hand. Porky you are a cool dude but how autistic are you on a scale from Elon Musk to Rainman?

I am not autistic at all. I just enjoy actual combat principles, whether it's HEMA or MMA or whatever. That's why these shit fights like Godskin duo are trash to me, two overlapping meatgrinders with no room for actual combat technique. Everyone cheeses them somehow, one guy I saw on youtube used a weapon with sleep effect, so he would put one to sleep while 1v1 the other, or I summoned an NPC, and mediocrepoot basically traded blows with them, but his damage was high enough to win.

 

[Andnjord]

This is obviously my first build so I am just playing with a simple, single weapon.

Brother, do you even RPG? Have you forgotten on what website you are? Have you no desire to experiment, theorycraft, min-max? Mondblut would be ashamed of you.

 

[Bigg Boss]

You might be on the spectrum though if things just HAVE TO BE A CERTAIN WAY or you are doing it wrong. I have been done with the game for almost two weeks now because I just summoned some guy to help me beat a boss fight I was bored with because I don't think playing the same boss fight for two days is fun or badass. I don't think you are cool if you dodge it or use a shield or use magic or play without hands because it's a fucking jap dodge roll slash JUMP RIDE slash game with nothing beyond that. Oh but the item descriptions have SO MUCH LORE. OH WOW I CAN EQUIP A TALISMAN TO MAKE A UNIQUE BUILD. Fuck off. Fuck this game.

Yeah I really soured on this game when it did not have a real ending.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

This is obviously my first build so I am just playing with a simple, single weapon.

Brother, do you even RPG? Have you forgotten on what website you are? Have you no desire to experiment, theorycraft, min-max? Mondblut would be ashamed of you.

I do actually, I upgrade my sword/shield, level up, get better gear, etc, but at the same time, I originally got into Dark Souls because they had somewhat realistic melee combat stuff, like parrying, blocking, etc. The stuff like dual wielding 2 great swords, or giant swords that look like street signs, or anime shit with flashing spinning bullshit, that's not for me. So I try to create a somewhat realistic medieval knight type build most of the time.

You might be on the spectrum though if things just HAVE TO BE A CERTAIN WAY or you are doing it wrong.

I never actually said that. People can play it how they want. The issue arises when I try to explain why Elden Ring is shit tier combat, and demonstrate how it often doesn't support anything close to realistic medieval combat. Actual combat principles don't work here much of the time because bosses spam attacks infinitely, have fucked up delays, 2 frame windups, etc.

Then these idiots come out and start whining, "oh but porky if only you were as elite as me looking up some OP build on the wiki" and try to use that to justify that this somehow makes ER combat good. It doesn't. In games like KCD, Warband, BotW, you don't need to look up fancy OP builds, you can just use basic combat principles to have success.

 

[toro]

Elden Ring is the worst Dark Souls like game.

People are just sperging about stuff but the decline is there once the novelty factor wears off.

It might seem like a random comment but I just tried to play it and I cannot muster the enthusiasm.

Maybe there is something wrong with me but it did not happen with DaS2, DaS3 or Sekiro.

I played all of them for months but after 2 months I cannot touch Elden Ring anymore.

 

[mediocrepoet]

I never actually said that. People can play it how they want. The issue arises when I try to explain why Elden Ring is shit tier combat, and demonstrate how it often doesn't support anything close to realistic medieval combat. Actual combat principles don't work here much of the time because bosses spam attacks infinitely, have fucked up delays, 2 frame windups, etc.

Then these idiots come out and start whining, "oh but porky if only you were as elite as me looking up some OP build on the wiki" and try to use that to justify that this somehow makes ER combat good. It doesn't. In games like KCD, Warband, BotW, you don't need to look up fancy OP builds, you can just use basic combat principles to have success.

Are you serious? You're upset that the game doesn't feature realistic medieval combat against dragons, rock monsters, sorcerers, and whatever else in environments like an apocalyptic hellscape floating in the middle of a world ending storm? Pretty sure you can find a copy of Bushido Blade to emulate or something.

And you think anyone who's played more than one of these games needs a wiki to make a halfway competent build? Do you even read?

 

[Bigg Boss]

I mean I wish the game let me use a shield and lance on the goat horse but japs made this so it would suck anyway what do they know about European style mounted combat? It's safe to say the Codexian Medieval Autism Simulator of my dreams has not been developed yet but something like KCD with Elden Ring + ACTUAL STORY would be nice.

 

[mediocrepoet]

Elden Ring is the worst Dark Souls like game.

People are just sperging about stuff but the decline is there once the novelty factor wears off.

It's definitely different in a variety of ways, so it doesn't surprise me it's about as divisive as Sekiro. I'm actually leaning the opposite way, where it's definitely in my top 3 Soulslikes, I'm just not sure exactly where yet.

I'm pretty sure that one of the big indicators of how favourable you'll find Elden Ring is what your opinion is on open world games in general. It seems like many of the people who like it are ones who tend to be open to or like open world games independently of whether or not they like Soulsborne games.

 

[mediocrepoet]

I mean I wish the game let me use a shield and lance on the goat horse but japs made this so it would suck anyway what do they know about European style mounted combat? It's safe to say the Codexian Medieval Autism Simulator of my dreams has not been developed yet but something like KCD with Elden Ring + ACTUAL STORY would be nice.

Have you tried using the lance weapon while mounted yet?
The animations are interesting. Not exactly the sort of joust I was imagining.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

Breath of the Wild has no handcrafted content!

No, that's Morrowind!

Are you guys ok?

 

[Lyric Suite]

So i'm back to the game and trying something different. Donning the white version of the fire monk outfit with the banished knight shield and an occult flamberge. Maximum fashion. I can even use the Silver Tear Mask as the color scheme matches.

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Are you serious? You're upset that the game doesn't feature realistic medieval combat against dragons, rock monsters, sorcerers, and whatever else in environments like an apocalyptic hellscape floating in the middle of a world ending storm? Pretty sure you can find a copy of Bushido Blade to emulate or something.

Leave it to mediocrepoot to completely misunderstand a rather simple concept. You don't have to use exact medieval combat used against humans in a fantasy game. But you should use the same logical principles, because that's how real combat works, it's based on logic and common sense.

Or in other words, having 2 bosses double team you with constant attack spam is not conducive to good combat.

And you think anyone who's played more than one of these games needs a wiki to make a halfway competent build? Do you even read?

Maybe not in your case. I figure after 20 playthroughs, you already know all the meta-busting stuff by heart.

 

[ELEXmakesMeHard]

What do you think is the most Christ-like figure in Elden Ring Lyric Suite -- are you a Goldmask enjoyer?

 

[mediocrepoet]

Actually, I'm just curious about one thing. Is it that I played the game an infinite amount of times and know everything inside out and therefore am amazing and not to be compared to average Joes who need to summon and whine through the game? Or is it that I'm terrible yet still somehow manage to trade my way through battles despite only having 40 vigor and light armour, proving that not only do you not get one shot, but the mechanics and multiple mobs on one fights can't possibly be as broken or poorly designed as whiners indicate?

Pick one, they're mutually exclusive.

 

[NJClaw]

mediocrepoot

YES! FUCKING YES! A NEW NICKNAME!

Welcome to the club, mediocrepoet. Zed Duke of Banville, as president, will officiate your initiation ceremony.

Lithium Flower literally on suicide watch right now as yet another codexer gets this badge of honor before him

 

[PorkyThePaladin]

Actually, I'm just curious about one thing. Is it that I played the game an infinite amount of times and know everything inside out and therefore am amazing and not to be compared to average Joes who need to summon and whine through the game? Or is it that I'm terrible yet still somehow manage to trade my way through battles despite only having 40 vigor and light armour, proving that not only do you not get one shot, but the mechanics and multiple mobs on one fights can't possibly be as broken or poorly designed as whiners indicate?

Pick one, they're mutually exclusive.

40 Vigor is fairly high actually, after that it starts dropping off. And I am surprised that after 20 playthroughs, you still don't realize that armor plays very little role in ER. Tough enemies do so much damage that heavy armor without a bunch of added talismans/potions/consumables doesn't provide a huge difference compared to light armor.

More importantly though, you still aren't understanding what terrible combat means. Your video, however, demonstrates it perfectly. You, to put it mildly, sucked ass. You missed a lot of dodges and got hit many times. That's not your fault btw, in this particular fight, because obviously, with 2 fast attacking enemies, it is impossible for a person to defend themselves properly, since our brains must focus on one thing at a time. So since you essentially got fucked up, how did you win the fight? By guzzling potions, and spamming attacks when you could. If you leveled up your build to where that worked, you won. Somebody else summoned an NPC or an ash, or used sleep or some other OP effect.

Now compare this to one of those awesome looking Renaissance HEMA duels on youtube, and you will see what I mean by terrible combat. Hopefully.

 

[mediocrepoet]

Now compare this to one of those awesome looking Renaissance HEMA duels on youtube, and you will see what I mean by terrible combat. Hopefully.

See, here's the thing. Despite my shitposting earlier, I actually thought you were witty before when I assumed you were trolling. Now I'm just fairly certain you've suffered a traumatic brain injury at some point. Please seek medical attention.

Other than that, please name one game that plays like a Renaissance HEMA duel. Even if you can (not holding my breath), why would you expect it from an established game series that has never suggested it would do such or was even trying to? You're a complete dumbfuck.