What's up people? It's me, your friendly sales gremlin again and I'm here to talk about sales, sales and sales!
GOG is having a major fucking sale right now and there is too much good shit for dirt cheap prices to go through it all so just go to the site and buy something, you deserve to treat yourself to something nice. Now is the time for that since you can do it for less than a happy meal. I will give you a highlight of some of the best deals for a wide variety of games to give you a spread of great bargains.
First up is stealth, you like sneaking around like some a sneakfuck gobbo? Get yourself
Styx at a fucking 90% off! The
sequel is 75% off and if you liked the first game you should grab that too. Want to hide in plain sight?
Hitman: Blood Money is cheaper than your mum at 80% off, I liked it more than the reboot sequels.
Want to play a game completely opposite to that where you go in guns blazing? Grab
Stranglehold at 75% off an already low priced game. Pow pow motherfucker. Want to wipe the floor with DorkUnderpants?
Unreal Tournament is 90% off. You're better off playing
the OG game for its campaign though, 80% off but worth the extra money.
Don't care about action? You're just in it for the waifus?
Divinity: Dragon Waifu Commander is at 90% off and still expensive for what it is but you should grab it anyway. The more expensive version is actually cheaper than the regular edition.
Fuck all of that, you just want to whack people, animals and orcish minorities in the head with a battleaxe, right?
Sacred is the game for you, 80% off and almost free. Fuckhuge world that only exist for you to stomp on everything else, what is not to love? For more Ultima vibes you can go with
Divine Divinity for your fill of whop-ass, they're practically giving that away at 90% off.
But that's not edgy enough so let's get to the real games, like
Postal 2 which is 90% off and you will have to rub your eyes in disbelief when you see that pricetag. Grab the post-apo expansion pack
Paradise Lost just as cheaply while you're at it. The original
Postal is free just in case you didn't know so you have no excuse to not get edgy this christmas.
Too edgy? Want something to play with your fleshy waifu irl? Something wholesome and chill? Grab the
Deponia games, the first is 90% off and incredibly cheap, but the entire series is on sale and very affordable. For another game that will make you use your brian you should check out
The Talos Principle which is at 90% off, more expensive still than the other games I mentioned but so fucking worth it.
Two first person shooters to round this list off, first you have
Strife which is Doom but with a plot at 65% off and pretty cheap for a remaster. Excellent game that doesn't get enough recognition. Buy it, play it, enjoy it. Then we have
Hedon at half-price, a fresh new game in the Doom engine.
That's it for now, but I will also tell you which games you shouldn't even fucking thinking of buying right now.
Planescape Torment: Enhanced Price Edition is a moneygrab, half-price and still more expensive than anything above. Then we have the biggest joke and middle-finger,
Outer Worlds which is a highway robbery even at 32% off. It almost costs as much as pre-ordering Cyberpunk 2077. I don't appreciate when companies take their pinheaded parodies of capitalism into an actual marketplace and do these kind of performance art bullshit things. As a final mention we have the still expensive communist visual novel Disco Elysium, only 30% off and from an already crazily expensive base price. This is why communism is bad and gay, fellas.
