Let's start with the Menu screen.
This is in full high resolution. Motion image of course. Gives you a good taste of what's to come doesnt it?
Ok so I heard Sylvan was for little girls and Dungeon was TOO HARDCORE. I'm going with my old favorite, Academy, a faction that used to mix old Arthurian mages with 1001 nights. Of course nothing like that this time.
This is what higher difficulty entails. They couldn't come up with different AIs, obviously.
I maxed all my graphics settings. And this is how it looks like.
Even with Unreal engine 3 and a bland set of 8 year outdated graphics, it has the audacity to occasionally have a low framerate.
It manages to look worse than Heroes 6 on the campaign map. This has got to be the ugliest overworld map I've seen in a while, emptiness filled with low res turds spread across the map.
You can choose between 4 caricatures in the tavern. Don't worry about inclusiveness, they overdid themselves her. You get a half/half ratio between masculine looking and feminine looking creatures. With some neutrals thrown in good measures. Hope you're into modern fantasy grotesque female warriors concept because that's basically what they all are.
The combat. Units don't look as bad as Heroes 6 ones, certainly less detailed though. They're even a bit better than heroes 5. Needless to say I think they all look terrible.
Heroes do not count as a creature during turns, you can play them anytime during your turn and the game does a bad job at reminding you that. There is no manual end turn button. The turn ends automatically as you make your last move with your last creature. Which means you will quite often miss your hero's action by accident especially in redundant fights. I frequently got stuck in spell mode too. Once you've elected to use spell, there doesn't appear to be a way to cancel the decision for a standard attack, only to switch between spells. You hero acts quite often due to your creatures often having separate turns. Heroes spells look like shit, but at low level at least they are effective.
Your hero's screen. Self explanatory. The fist is damage : how much damage your hero does. Sword is might, unit attack bonus, Shield is Defense, unit attack defense. The flame is magik : power of your spells. The weird cloud thing is mana. The thing next to it that looks like an old cardboard box is arcane power : what kind of spells you can use. Then Morale, luck and movement. There's another weird stat called metamagic for mages at least. I think as the battle goes on you get more metamagics and that gives several bonuses.
The AI is dumbshit retarded as always. Maybe worse this time. Here they decided to charge my golem in melee with archers.
You can probably turn that off but by default you get these cinematic cams during the AI's turn. Hard to keep track of what's happening for the sake of trying to impress the masses with their 2005 animations.
At the end of each combat your assigned meme mascot gets to do his little dance. It's neither cute nor funny. Absurd clowns.
Why did I screenshot this?
When you level up it looks like that. You go toward the center. FireMagic and MetaMagics are presets for mage it seems, or at least this particular hero. Spending a skill point on one of these containers unlock a small bonus, then you can spend skill points to unlock the circle bonuses. The skill tree is BALANCED in that magic classes just have their own creature boosting passive that scale on the metamagic accumulated in batlle. The might and magic polarity is fading.
Battlefields tend to have a certain level of variety. Nothing too fancy but it's more than usual in the franchise.
The only redeeming feature is the building tree. When it's split, it means you have to choose between the two, substantial enough to encourage a degree of specialization early on.
The mage takes 4 squares for some reason. Pretty dumb.
You can build magic schools. You get to pick what kind of magic you specialize in, which guarantees you at least one spell of this magic in the random spell selection process. There's something called preference as well for higher levels.
The soundtrack, a hallmark of the franchise until Heroes 6, is nothing horrifying, you don't notice it all all. Ambient at best, even in the town screens. It's really sad because he used to be quite ballsy with them, throwing classical music and opera singers in a fantasy video game is notable. They reuse and mix old soundtrack in distasteful ways, like an amateur teen enhancing a toopak bit with random noises thinking he accomplished something. Doesn't help that they're also too slow to start, though this may be for the best given how bad they get.
The town screens look like what you would see in a Korean Browser MMO. The cheap MMO aesthetic is present omnipresent in this game. I understand what he meant when he said Sylvan was directed at women. Their creatures do indeed look like the feminine fantasy drawings my sisters were making in highschool. That they are trying to appeal to a different audience with each factions is pathetic.
AI turns take forever, game freezes, loses massive framerate when that happens. I crashed after a few dozens turns.
And I can't. I just can't go on. This game doesn't have any charm. I feel noxious about everything in this game. It looks like puke, it's unstable, it's badly optimized, the maps are empty and the AI is retarded. My Heroes 2 and 3 cds are back in Canada but thanks to this happy bundle I bought I'm gonna enjoy some of them right now.
If this was a book I would throw it in the garbage bin. I hope they fail and they stop insulting this franchise.
Played the beta for a few hours and sure feels like a lot like HoMM 3.
What the fuck are you talking about, are you getting paid to say stupid shit like this or just an imbecile?