Kodex Kommunistic Kastle. Fortress. Dwarf Fortress.

[Helly]

Hummm, this is a pickle. Dr Azira, while a primordial kunt (ahahaHA) did raise some fair points - the kutting, farming & paper making might have to be delayed.

What to do, what to do... Let's have a look at our losses.
Merc: Gone
Mustawd: Gone
LagoleGon: Gone
Brother Frank: Gone
Storyfag: Gone
Tindrli: Out of his game

So, we're missing all our miners, our carpenter and out kitchen makers. Great. Great indeed.
We need people to keep creating the wood factory, I reckon. Let's make it Sukhavati and Wayward Son's full job for now.
HelloFriend and baud will be our new carpenters. One of them is bound to get good, eventually. baud did tell me he wanted to master some craftdwarfship too. And HelloFriend sounds like a creative-minded, dedicated fellow. They'll do.
Reinhardt... She can haul stone blocks out of our way for now.

This leaves the military...
Ah. Yes, of course, there is but one way out. The Diplomatic way! AhahahahHAHAHAHR
I shall have a private meeting with our great Kommander, Kalin, during which I shall extort the values of physical mano-a-mano techniques.
Techniques that all in his squad should learn. He may even call his squad... The Kommunist Katch Wrestling Korps... Kommunist Katch Korps! Good enough.
Were he to disagree, then I do have a counter-offer. I will make it so that the best our future weapon crafters (or brokers) can produce (or acquire) will be his bonus, and our Honored Leader shall not need hear anything about it!
All he will need to do in exchange is to convince Grimtooth that there is no need for weapons for now...

 

[Reinhardt]

Reinhardt... She can haul the blocks out of our way for now.

Nah, i'll pass. I have new inspiration.

 

[RoBoBOBR]

Unskilled dwarves armed with copper swords might as well cut their wrists with them.

Same can be said about any quality/material weapons. They can train with copper weaponry (plus all hammerdwarves will receive top weapon from the jump) and be able to get from training to combat, push comes to shove. Copper is an inferior metal, yet it's still a metal, that will be a factor vs a lot of opponents - elves, most animals, basically anything not in bronze+ armor (or made of bronze or better).
BTW since when does communism care about tool quality? An axe is an *axe* is an ☼axe☼, comrade!
I also commend your intention to abstain from using exploits.

 

[Grimwulf]

Hold my beard.

WHY U NO THROWING D6? The tension is killing me!

Oh, and if you're gonna be prissy about it, I could release Mustawd from internship, due to his ineptness

If i can't be the broker i can be medic! I mean - i'm butcher. It's already halfway.

What, a volounteer? Of course, I did do a bang-up job with the plastic surgery, so no wonder she comes back for more.

Seems like Helly already planned out a solution. Gotta love Helly's convoluted schemes.

I'll leave it for Helly to decide. If she is okay with you switching interns at this point - so be it, Mustawd will be replaced by Reinhardt. And I guess he'll return to his mining job then?

 

[Helly]

Hold my beard.

WHY U NO THROWING D6? The tension is killing me!

Oh, and if you're gonna be prissy about it, I could release Mustawd from internship, due to his ineptness

If i can't be the broker i can be medic! I mean - i'm butcher. It's already halfway.

What, a volounteer? Of course, I did do a bang-up job with the plastic surgery, so no wonder she comes back for more.

Seems like Helly already planned out a solution. Gotta love Helly's convoluted schemes.

I'll leave it for Helly to decide. If she is okay with you switching interns at this point - so be it, Mustawd will be replaced by Reinhardt. And I guess he'll return to his mining job then?

Well, I know a good deal when I see one! You'll be a great doctor one day Reinhardt! I'm proud of you! Now give me back my miner

 

[Reinhardt]

WHY U NO THROWING D6?

I can't miss watching Azira at work.

 

[Azira]

I can't miss watching Azira at work.

Good. We can get to work on Tindrli then. (rolled a die).

We'll make him work again.

 

[Azira]

Reinhardt and I will be going all on tindrli

Dirty socks, especially ones previously worn by Kalin can work wonders.

 

[hello friend]

quantum stockpiles, atom smashing, coin training

Btw how do those exploits work? Would be fun to try them out in my own games sometime.

 

[Kalin]

@Kalin,

Thank you SO MUCH for taking the only carpenter out of the game! I hope it was worth it, and now we have an elite force to deal with any threat. Oh, wait, WE DON'T! Not only because you picked the TRASHIEST fighters in Redlabored, but you also decided to go SOFT on them.

If goddamn deer-bandits attack us tomorrow, IT'S YOUR ASS, Kalin! You'll have to go out there and fight them alone! Half of your squad will die in the first seconds, another half will flee being the pussies they are!

I'm asking one last time, are you SURE you don't want to change anything in your lineup and schedule?

Evruthang iz FINE! Relax Grim! Live a littul, have a drink! See... Iz a problum of motivaishun ok. Not dat im lazy... u just havun challenge me enuff. IF ah bust ASS training the fucks 1) my get TIRED 2) mite sprain ankul kickin butts 3) don see anutha dime! If u wan DEATH DRILLS ah wan BONUS when trader cums, snazzy shit! As for Marko - cant spare him, vitul for oppraishuns an sheit... Guess he CAN kraft sum woodsie weapuns tho - but DAS IT!

 

[Grimwulf]

quantum stockpiles, atom smashing, coin training

Btw how do those exploits work? Would be fun to try them out in my own games sometime.

1. Quantum stockpile.

Allows you to store infinite number of items in one tile. Steps to reproduce:
- use 'i' to designate a garbage dump zone (select one tile)
- use 'k' to look at the items you want to stock in your quantum stockpile
- use 'd' to designate dumping those items

Your dwarves will haul the items and dump everything you tell them to dump. You can use 'k', then 'r' to reclaim selected items from the garbage dump zone when you need them. More detailed explanation.

2. Atom smashing.

Drawbridges are more than bridges.

Spoiler

Speaking in game terms, if you lower the bridge on top of non-giant creature, you will atom smash this creature. It will leave no corpse. It will leave no loot. It will be gone from the world without a trace. Disintegrated. Same will happen if you drop the bridge on items.

More detailed explanation.

3. Coin training.

The idea in short: lock a military dwarf inside a tiny room filled with coins. Place a 1x1 retracting bridge on the floor of the room. Use lever/pressure plate to make this bridge retract back and forth. It will fling the coins in the air repeatedly. They will hit your dwarf, making him a legendary armor user in no time.

It's a bit complicated to explain, so once again - more detailed explanation.

Spoiler

Your previous idea was pure genius, btw. But we don't do genius here. We do Kommunism.

 

[RoBoBOBR]

I prefer minecart based QSP, way more versatile than dump method, lets you keep, say, ore, gems, bars etc in separate stockpiles instead of it all being in one place. Also keeps "dump" useful for actual dumping. Worth the extra effort to set up 100%. Detailed explanation is also in link Grimwulf provided.

 

[vazha]

All this character exploration is mighty fine, but when's the actual stuff happening? like battles, raids, orcs, elfs, whatever, you name it. I miss the Rimworld suspense.

 

[Grimwulf]

DF always starts out slow, hence my decision to make it 3 months per update. If something attacks Redlabored now, it won't be a "battle" or "raid". All dwarves are currently helpless, they will be killed in an instant by anything larger than a snail. I'm fairly sure we would be killed by a group of pedophiles at this stage. Thankfully, we don't have many children to attract them. Just Shorast, Friend's son.

Guess I can play a few years behind the scenes, if nobody cares about the progress or beginning stage. But there is a risk of next update starting with

"Four Years Later.
Everybody Dead.

Err, so here is an AAR"

 

[Storyfag]

The politicing is FUN, keep it that way. Watching the Kommunistic Officials - elected democratically no less! - wrecking any hope for a working fortress is glorious to behold.

On that note, *should* the Kommunistic Officials be elected democratically? Shouldn't only Party-approved candidates be eligible - if not outright chosen by hand? I guess you could implement that later, when the population finally booms (as if that's gonna happen ), by restricting candidacy and voting rights only to people from the Red List.

 

[sqeecoo]

Sorry bros, I got a bit distracted by the end-of-the-year job pressure and I stopped getting alerts for new posts for some reason, so I just assumed Grimwulf was abandoning another LP skillfully using a temporary pause to raise the tension. I only checked the thread manually a couple of days ago and saw I'd missed a ton of pages; it took me a bit to catch up.

However, I see that my plans are finally coming to fruition. I have made many friends among my fellow dwarves due to my friendly demeanor, and through seemingly no influence from me I've gained the crucial bookeeper post. To understand the deceptive power of this position you need look no further than Comrade Stalin, or rather General Secretary Stalin. Here's a quick quote from the Rise of Joseph Stalin wiki page:

From that date until his death, Stalin's formal title was General Secretary. The office was not intended to be as powerful as Stalin over time would be. The office grew with Stalin, not the other way around. After a brief disappointment of not being given a heavy ministerial post, Stalin soon learned how to use his new office in order to gain advantages towards other key persons within the Bolshevik Party. An example of benefits he received through his new office was to prepare the agenda for the Politburo meetings.

This is absolutely applicable to the position of bookeeper, even in a smaller fort such as this. After all, resource availability and needs set the overall agenda of the whole fort, and a skillful manipulator can use the presentation of the numbers to arrange openings in influential positions for his friends, and punish his uncooperating dwarves with undesirable hard labor. The tricky bit is managing to get the desired reaction from Grimwulf, who is as likely to respond to me presenting a shortage of a resource by focusing everything on that or by ignoring it completely. However, I have spent enough time in his company to hopefully succeed in making him believe my ideas are his own.

Thus, I am now the de facto ruler of Redlabored.

The first thing I have to remind Grimwulf of, and the way to save our stalling fortress, is to remember that this is Kommunism! All this talk of selecting the best worker for the job is missing the point. In Kommunism, everyone must have a job! We don't need no capitalist "beauty" and "functionality" from kulak-like skilled carpenters! In the Kodex, the means of carpentry production is owned by everyone equally!

My current plan is therefore to try to fudge/misrepresent the numbers or manipulate the minutes of various meetings in such a way to get Grimwulf to open up all priority jobs to everyone, or at least to as many unskilled dwarves as needed to complete them. Failing that, I'll suggest something he can't refuse: total equality. All jobs are equally enabled and prioritized to everyone!

------

I basically just thought the bookeeper-secretary Stalin connection was funny enough to mention, and in addition to being annoyingly friendly I've also been called darkly manipulative in our Dominions games, so I think this agenda is fitting for my character But roll with it or not as it suits the story best!

I also vote for a bit more hard info on how the fortress is doing, I love the banter but I don't have a very clear/detailed view of what's going on in the game

 

[Lizzurd]

3. Coin training.

The idea in short: lock a military dwarf inside a tiny room filled with coins. Place a 1x1 retracting bridge on the floor of the room. Use lever/pressure plate to make this bridge retract back and forth. It will fling the coins in the air repeatedly. They will hit your dwarf, making him a legendary armor user in no time.

It's a bit complicated to explain, so once again - more detailed explanation.

I prefer DWARVEN SHOTGUN, though it is not so much of an exploit. You can take the cart, fill it with coins/weapons/whatever and crash it into the fortification on a high speed. Everything inside would become high-velocity projectiles and hit everyone in a cone.

Regarding your situation – I request you to appoint Kalin as LABOR KOMMANDER, disband the squad and seal the fortress. If something happens you can always make new migrants fight for you. You know, like a french legion.

 

[BrotherFrank]

I'm fairly sure we would be killed by a group of pedophiles at this stage.

Fear not! We, the elite hand picked guard of Redlabored stand ready to deal with any invaders, our will is indomitable and thanks to our kommander's special training our skills unmatch-*tries to twirl axe to look cool but fumbles and drops it on storyfag's foot producing a geyser of blood and much screaming*
Uuhh... Yeah sod it, the pedos can take Shorast, friend must be used to losing his family by now anyways, what's one more?

 

[Andnjord]

Spoiler

YOU ARE THE WORST GODDAMN ADMINISTRATORS THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN! ALL OF YOU ARE BEYOND INCOMPETENT! MY EYES ARE CRYING VOMIT JUST BY LOOKING AT YOU! MY EARS FUCKING WITHER AND DIE WHEN I LISTEN TO YOUR REPORTS! YOU ARE DESTROYING MY FORTRESS! I HATE YOU ALL!

This ends HERE and NOW, damn you! We will stay right in this muddy Outpost until EVERYOOOONE comes up with a FUCKING solution of how to make Redlabored WORK! I AM YOUR GODDAMN KOMMISSAR! I command THE FLOW OF TIME ITSELF to FUCKING STOP until you rockfuckers make up your excuse of a mind!

Trusts the Codex for important decisions, is surprised by the result.

That was a thing of beauty bröther

 

[Grimwulf]

The politicing is FUN, keep it that way. Watching the Kommunistic Officials - elected democratically no less! - wrecking any hope for a working fortress is glorious to behold.

On that note, *should* the Kommunistic Officials be elected democratically? Shouldn't only Party-approved candidates be eligible - if not outright chosen by hand? I guess you could implement that later, when the population finally booms (as if that's gonna happen ), by restricting candidacy and voting rights only to people from the Red List.

That was the plan initially. Elections yearly; key choices for elected officials Seasonally (at the end of each update); personal choices for non-officials occasionally. I say we roll like that until next Winter and see how it goes. If it isn't fun without world-breaking events, so be it - I'll speed up to 1 year / update.

The first thing I have to remind Grimwulf of, and the way to save our stalling fortress, is to remember that this is Kommunism! All this talk of selecting the best worker for the job is missing the point. In Kommunism, everyone must have a job! We don't need no capitalist "beauty" and "functionality" from kulak-like skilled carpenters! In the Kodex, the means of carpentry production is owned by everyone equally!

My current plan is therefore to try to fudge/misrepresent the numbers or manipulate the minutes of various meetings in such a way to get Grimwulf to open up all priority jobs to everyone, or at least to as many unskilled dwarves as needed to complete them. Failing that, I'll suggest something he can't refuse: total equality. All jobs are equally enabled and prioritized to everyone!

I also vote for a bit more hard info on how the fortress is doing, I love the banter but I don't have a very clear/detailed view of what's going on in the game

Noted. Also, welcome back! Now start working already.

I prefer DWARVEN SHOTGUN, though it is not so much of an exploit. You can take the cart, fill it with coins/weapons/whatever and crash it into the fortification on a high speed. Everything inside would become high-velocity projectiles and hit everyone in a code.

Do you propose to use this method for training? I don't think Kalin would volunteer for being murdered by bonaz.

Spoiler

Judging from several witness accounts, coins in DF are no longer harmless - now you can actually die from a coin flung at you at high velocity.

But I admit, this sounds pretty neat for a future trap. It's stupid. Very prosper. And also it's the only real use for coins I can think of.

Approved.

 

[Storyfag]

Do you propose to use this method for training? I don't think Kalin would volunteer for being murdered by bonaz.

Probably not. But if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to give Kalin his bonaz... This is the way.

 

[Bliblablubb]

You know, like a french legion.

So basically it would be the KKKommissar and a bunch of non-dwarf criminals. Naaaaah, I'll pass.

Would make for a funny LP in the future tho.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Do you propose to use this method for training? I don't think Kalin would volunteer for being murdered by bonaz.

Probably not. But if you ever find yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to give Kalin his bonaz... This is the way.

I mean, bury him in Bonaz or bury him with Bonaz, he's not likely to mind the difference.

 

[RoBoBOBR]

In the Kodex, the means of carpentry production is owned by everyone equally!

My current plan is therefore to try to fudge/misrepresent the numbers or manipulate the minutes of various meetings in such a way to get Grimwulf to open up all priority jobs to everyone, or at least to as many unskilled dwarves as needed to complete them.

Can be achieved quite easy by using autolabor in DFhack (it tries to prioritize skills but in my experience it is quite close to random assigment). Or just set everyone with every job (some caveats here, like dwarf can't be a miner and tree kutter at the same time).

Regarding training rooms -- those got way less good since the update that killed danger room with spears. I find that in a year of rigorous training (they need to spar) dwarves end up as competent enough warriors.

 

[Lizzurd]

This thread is just another step how to make Dwarf Fortress game more realistic. Follow me!

MR GRIMWULF: Helly we should faciliate our mining works! Please write a plan and justify the budget.
HELLY: Sure Mr Grimwulf!
...
HELLY: May I get the mining designations?
MR GRIMWULF: NOPE.
HELLY: But how...
MR GRIMWULF: Ask squueekoo! He is the bookkeeper.

HELLY: Hi Skweekoo how much pickaxes we have?
SQEECOO: What's wrong with you man I am sqeecoo!
HELLY: Fine fine! So Skikoo how are the pickaxes?
SQEECOO: Why don't you ask miners? I don't log private belongings!
HELLY: Okay. Have a nice day... What an asshole.

HELLY: HEY EVERYONE who are the miners?
Someone: I don't care.
Someone: I am not miner.
MUSTAWD: Fuck no I am already busy to help you!
HELLY: DON'T DARE MUSTAWD I am your manager! Do you have a pickaxe?
MUSTAWD: I am not giving it out!
HELLY: Fucking laborer, no respect.

HELLY: Hey skookoo do we have enough ore to forge a new pickaxe?
SQEECOO: I have told you we need quartermaster! Go and and check all our seven stockpiles yourself.
HELLY: Oh god.
SQEECOO: Hey! Mr Grimwulf asked me to appoint a committee to check all our ores. Wanna head it?
HELLY: HELL NO
SQEECOO: Fine...

*In three years*

Goblins: LOL this fortress is so retarded just like some kind of real world

Spoiler

But I really enjoy much reading this LP