Let's play as the glorious Islamic Republic of Iran!

[LusciousPear]

Death to Israel!

SRSLY. Form an alliance to crush the Zionists!

 

[deuxhero]

"Her" niece (not "our)? Are you the Father or something? And why does she have a separate last name? Have the infidel executed!

If you want, I can have her jailed or assassinated by secret service.

You can?

Jail her.

 

[Malakal]

I keep trying to play my dear Poland and keep failing due to protests every time I change anything. Bloody democracies.

Also AI is trigger happy. In my games N. Korea invades S. Korea, Israel gets attacked by Jordan (lol?) and there even was a conflict between Sudan and something.

 

[anus_pounder]

There was this game called Superpower 2 or something like that. The AI in that game was insane. Intelligence sabotages on a defeated Iraq from....south america. Germany and Pakistan tag-teaming india. Canada becomes a nuclear superpower.

 

[Malakal]

There was this game called Superpower 2 or something like that. The AI in that game was insane. Intelligence sabotages on a defeated Iraq from....south america. Germany and Pakistan tag-teaming india. Canada becomes a nuclear superpower.

Superpower 2 was RETARDED. I reached 70 000 GDP/per capita as Poland within few years there. It was a RTS disguised as a serious strategy-simulator. And AI was completely stupid too.

 

[anus_pounder]

There was this game called Superpower 2 or something like that. The AI in that game was insane. Intelligence sabotages on a defeated Iraq from....south america. Germany and Pakistan tag-teaming india. Canada becomes a nuclear superpower.

Superpower 2 was RETARDED. I reached 70 000 GDP/per capita as Poland within few years there. It was a RTS disguised as a serious strategy-simulator. And AI was completely stupid too.

Yeah, pretty much what you said.

 

[Infantryman]

I keep trying to play my dear Poland and keep failing due to protests every time I change anything. Bloody democracies.

Also AI is trigger happy. In my games N. Korea invades S. Korea, Israel gets attacked by Jordan (lol?) and there even was a conflict between Sudan and something.

After many failed attempts, I've managed to get Poland back on track in this game.



Managed to reduce social spending by 33%, and increase education and transport spending by 100% during my reign.



80 Billion złoty of budget excess.



I don't know why, but public debt disappeared after a full year of budget excess. Can't say I'm unhappy about that.



After three rounds of pension reforms, retirement age in Poland is 74. Not bad considering that life expectancy exceeds 100 years, which is probably the most retarded thing that happened to me in this game.



Growth steadily at ~4,5% this year.



But in last 4 years, average yearly growth was 9,8%.



The growth is slower now, but inflation is finally falling.



Education is said to have overwhelmingly positive effect on the economy in the long term.



Set football spending to maximum, and still didn't pass the group stage in Euro 2012 .


Ok, and now some tips on playing as Poland:



1. Reduce reimbursement spending on healthcare. It's ridiculously expensive. Cutting it allowed me to max out all other sliders, hire more doctors, build more hospitals and still save 15 billion zł. And healthcare rating still improved. Reimbursement isn't covered from healthcare, but social security budget, which explains where all that money goes.

2. ALWAYS intervene with full force when there are protests. With every day, people get more and more butthurt. And the longer the protests last, the stronger they may become. Only penalty for using force against protesters is moderate popularity hit. Two times, I even had popular uprising but suffocated it with martial law. Martial law is awesome pre-emptive measure, because all protests are broken before the people can gather. And never underestimate the sit-ins. If you ignore one, it grows tenfold and crowds get aggressive. Then UN orders you to use force, you use it, many people die and you get deposed. Intervene on the first day!

3. You can easily extend your term to 6 years. That means you won't have to deal with elections so often. Do it! Also, it is good idea to pass the law that parliament cannot vote motions of no confidence. It makes much harder for the opposition to depose you, and isn't that much authoritarian. If you go a bit further, and pass the bill that new laws are issued by decree, you'll get kicked out of EU and other organizations for being too autocratic.

4. Withdraw the troops from Afghanistan! The mission costs 6,8 billion zł yearly and gives nothing but popularity hits every time soldier gets killed! You can also abolish national service, it is also very expensive. But increase the number of career soldiers, otherwise generals and defence minister will get extremely butthurt. But don't overdo it, as if you build up the army too quickly, UN will get butthurt which is also very bad.

5. Keep your popularity at high level, preferably 100%. The easiest way to achieve it is to meet up with popular people who like you and ask them to speak highly of you in public. If they are really popular themselves, you're popularity will get instant boost of few percent. I usually do it with catholic bishop (he always has 100% popularity!), and environment, family and humanitarian associations leaders. High popularity is very helpful when coping with massive protests.

6. Increasing retirement age is the best way of reducing social spending. Syndicates get extremely butthurt, but I've managed to cope with their protests. And the poverty does not increase as a effect, while the economy is boosted. The only bad thing associated with it is that it may increase unemployment, but if you sign a few good trade deals, it should over time fall to negligible levels anyway.

7. Some taxes have no effect on economy whatsoever. You can have inheritance or junk food tax at 75% and nothing bad happens. Free money, as long as you can survive the protests. Farmers are particularly troublesome, as they block the roads even when you upset them slightly.

 

[anus_pounder]

Too much potato. Where the fuck is the glorious republic of Islam?

 

[Infantryman]

Long Live the Islamic Republic of Iran

Long Live Hezbollah

Sellam Alekum To All Muslims, from The Islamic Republic of Iran.

Death to the Western Back Stooges

Death to Israel Death to Israel Death to Israel

Some random comment of Iranian user I came across in the youtube



As you can see, I've managed to implement Andhaira's image, however it is totally impossible to avoid restarting game if I wanted to use it, so I guess we'll have to stay with Ahmadinejad.



JFK quote for day.



I reduce spending on healthcare reimbursement so that other expenses can be increased and some savings are found. The game crashed several times when I tried to make screenshots with the slider on the lower position, so you have to believe me I actually greatly increased spending on fighting the worst diseases, maternity treatment, and servicing and purchasing hospital equipment.



That leaves us with comfortable budget excess. Let's move on to the education. Funding is improved where there were biggest holes and Iran's brightest will have the best opportunities for developing their marvellous skills and knowledge in the whole for the glory of Islamic Republic!



People seem to be happy with these changes. That is good.





I originally intended to keep the inheritance tax at 10%, but considering that keeping it at punitively high levels has no real negative impact on the economy, I'll milk on the old rich people as much as possible.



Real estate tax has been at really low level... But now it will now.



Iraqi government has partially disbanded our newly established network there. That is a bad sign. Iraq seems to be regaining strength... as an American lapdog!



Anyway, these are our current intelligence networks.



There was a popular request to show the catastrophe in Australia. Well, it's just a wildfire. And in my every game it has always kicked in at January 2nd 2011. Well, IRL, there's a flood, not wildfire currently going on there...



Some Syrian Sheriff wants to see our glorious leader. Fine. Good Muslims, although heretic, are welcome.



I really love this feature of fast-forwarding game when nothing special is going on. Paradox should implement it in its games too.



Have I already told you how comfortable is it to issue laws by decree?



Let's take a look at today's paper.



Excellent. National pages radiate with an endless stream of praise for INANITY's wisom, as it should be.



Some suicide attacks in Iraq. Great! Perhaps we should support those terrorists so that they can wreck even more havoc at those Great Satan's lapdogs?



The decadent west... Their people always protesting, arguing over something, fighting. Our country is an oasis of peace in this dangerous world.



Stop staring at me like that, Sheriff...



Seems fair to me. I accept their proposal for a trade deal.



And I propose them a military support treaty. Unfortunately, Syria did not agree for fully-blown alliance.



The oldest woman in Iran has changed her opinion of our enlightened leader. She has finally seen the light.



After all the new decrees take effect, the condition of our budget seems to be excellent. It's time to increase spending in certain key areas.



Secondary and university education systems receive huge influx of funds.



We're back to deficit, dammit! Let's implement some new taxes. Some of them don't give much revenue, but we need every penny to push this country forward!



Ciggs are bad for your health anyway.



Allah does not approve gambling.



Those plates for your car costs the government a bit, do they?





THE NEXT DAY.

This is too much even for Iranian people and they have taken into the streets.













The protests are quickly extinguished and the order is restored.



Now that our popularity has been damaged, it has to be rebuilt. Our leader meets with the most popular imam...









INANINTY's popularity hits record high.





Now it's time to erase this hole in our social security system's budget. The income from insurance contributions should eventually cover all the social security costs.





When will they get tired of it already? It's not like I'm going to back down! Once again the disturbances are quenched with force and state of emergency is declared.



Half of Iran's houses are inhabitable. To completely fix this issue, we require at least 20 years, but first steps have to be made now.



Now, let's finally invest in research!



We're back on deficit, but before new funding is found, we must improve security forces. Number of CCTV cameras is increased by 50% and a few percent more policemen are recruited to reach grand total of 550 000. That means about 0,66% of total Iranian population works in police.



Aww, I almost forgot to arrest our leader's stupid and ugly wife!



How do you like your new accommodation, sweetheart?



More than a million Iranians march the street in defence of INANITY's wife.



What's worse, a sit-in in Tehran takes place.



No time for hesitation. Military is immediately sent to crush the protesters.

After furious clashes with the military, the crowds were dispersed and the order has been restored. Six people have been killed.





Overview of our economy. In March, we have experience a mild slump in our growth, but the situation improves. Inflation is still falling.




It's time to choose:

1. Intelligence networks priorities:
A) Approach and support terrorist organizations
B) Approach labor unions and syndicates
C) Political spying (bribe ministers, etc.)

 

[Malakal]

@infantryman

Yes, I don't really need those tips as I managed to get 20% GDP growth and budget under control while getting reelected with 70+% support BUT had to abandon the game as world went insane. Russia and China vs USA, China and N. Korea vs Japan, Israel vs Middle East, I expected nuclear weapons to be fired any day now. What a pity...

 

[anus_pounder]

Sweet mother of christ!

I'm sorry. Can't vote. Too busy laughing. I can't explain it, this entire thing is hilarious.

 

[Infantryman]

@infantryman

Yes, I don't really need those tips as I managed to get 20% GDP growth and budget under control while getting reelected with 70+% support BUT had to abandon the game as world went insane. Russia and China vs USA, China and N. Korea vs Japan, Israel vs Middle East, I expected nuclear weapons to be fired any day now. What a pity...

Don't worry about that. Let them just fight it out and do your job. I had very similar situation. USA, Canada and Japan vs China and Russia. After a year or two of some skirmishes in the seas and American invasion on Kaliningrad Oblast (I gave the US military access ) and St. Petersburg peace treaty was signed.

 

[Malakal]

@infantryman

Yes, I don't really need those tips as I managed to get 20% GDP growth and budget under control while getting reelected with 70+% support BUT had to abandon the game as world went insane. Russia and China vs USA, China and N. Korea vs Japan, Israel vs Middle East, I expected nuclear weapons to be fired any day now. What a pity...

Don't worry about that. Let them just fight it out and do your job. I had very similar situation. USA, Canada and Japan vs China and Russia. After a year or two of some skirmishes in the seas and American invasion on Kaliningrad Oblast (I gave the US military access ) and St. Petersburg peace treaty was signed.

Well then perhaps its a good idea to continue. As I said I managed 20% GDP growth but inflation is dangerous at ~10% even with increased interest rates (Poland starts with 3.5 and I went for 8).

Still have 3.5% deficit though, must be because of my tax cuts and unwillingness to quickly change things (had to reload few times already due to mass butthurt, one time become of one year retirement age increase...).

This game is so unrealistic it hurts. There are no opinion polls (would people in Poland really go out to streets over retirement age increase? how can I check that?), socialism is so obviously better than liberalism (even when we clearly see that private sector works way better with GDP), important figures are a joke, and their background research? Pathetic. 20% of Polish GDP coming from coal? Maybe in 1950s. Entire farming contributes around 5% today while in game cereals are at 7% etc etc.

But the game is fun, I'll give it that. Needs patching and love but good entertainment.

 

[Infantryman]

I wholeheartedly agree, the game is ridiculous, but still fun.

Well then perhaps its a good idea to continue. As I said I managed 20% GDP growth but inflation is dangerous at ~10% even with increased interest rates (Poland starts with 3.5 and I went for 8).

It's nearly impossible to reduce inflation with interest rates. In real life, inflation is one of the most important factors that hamper growth. Correlation between GDP growth and inflation is ~ -0,7, so empirically it's even worse than high taxes. But in this game, I haven't seen any bad effects of inflation whatsoever. If your growth falls below 5%, inflation will automatically fall, even at 0,5% interest rate. And why the hell interest rates have direct effect on budget revenues!? So don't worry about inflation, it's just a collateral effect of fast growth. I also had ~20% yearly GDP growth, but as you will see, after a year or two it suddenly falls. Usually on the new year. You probably noticed a lot of strange things happen in this game on a new year?

Still have 3.5% deficit though, must be because of my tax cuts and unwillingness to quickly change things (had to reload few times already due to mass butthurt, one time become of one year retirement age increase...).

You have to overcome your natural inclinations. Don't cut taxes! Raise them! IRL it's a recipe for disaster, but in this game it's the only way to get some money, because only real savings you can make are on reimbursement, civil servants' wages, and pensions, but this causes mass butthurt throughout the country.

This game is so unrealistic it hurts. There are no opinion polls (would people in Poland really go out to streets over retirement age increase? how can I check that?)

You can order a poll from NIS at Head of State tab. You can also check the moods of syndicates' leaders, if they are butthurt, they will surely make protest. Also, as a rule of thumb, people will always protest against higher VAT, retirement age, social security contributions and lower civil servants' salaries, pensions, unemployment benefits, etc. Consumer associations get butthurt if you reduce purchasing power, so at Income tax, tobbaco tax etc., but they are less dangerous, they organize sit-ins only if extremely butthurt.

socialism is so obviously better than liberalism (even when we clearly see that private sector works way better with GDP)

This is because the game was made by the French. They have socialism imprinted in their genes and Constitution.

important figures are a joke, and their background research? Pathetic. 20% of Polish GDP coming from coal? Maybe in 1950s. Entire farming contributes around 5% today while in game cereals are at 7% etc etc.

Couldn't agree more.

 

[Malakal]

I think interest rates are somehow connected to the income from the nations central bank so it would explain why lowering them gives money. But yes, it should be a long term consideration. Perhaps inflation eats at purchasing power? Who knows.

I found out that bribing people really helps. Especially influential people. They get less butthurt prone and more cooperative too.

Any way to stop some groups from being annoyed? I a getting protests over my withdrawal from Afghanistan and from hunters due to my ecology schemes months after the fact. And this influences my popularity...

 

[Infantryman]

Interesting. No one protested after I withdrew from Afghanistan. But I did that in 2013. And I raised gun tax to 450 zł/year, but the hunters are still not complaining. If these are only demonstrations, then there's nothing really to worry about, they are harmless, just regenerate your popularity by meeting with someone famous, after it drops too much. Maybe bribe the leaders of these organizations?

 

[Cassidy]

Mentioning central banks, I'd love a more realistic game like this that allows for extreme lolbertarian stuff like GOLD STANDARD, abolishing central banking and even abolishing the military and intelligence to hire mercenary companies and Lithuanian Hitmen when needed instead. Wouldn't a game like this be more interested if you could for example RON PAUL 2012 or create a New Nazi Germany by making the right choices?

 

[Malakal]

Mentioning central banks, I'd love a more realistic game like this that allows for extreme lolbertarian stuff like GOLD STANDARD, abolishing central banking and even abolishing the military and intelligence to hire mercenary companies and Lithuanian Hitmen when needed instead. Wouldn't a game like this be more interested if you could for example RON PAUL 2012 or create a New Nazi Germany by making the right choices?

Try fantasy games

No, seriously, there is not enough gold in the world for the return of gold standard. Also that would make gold producing countries global superpowers. Yep, South Africa and Russia as leading economic powerhorses...

Besides you kind of can be libertarian. Cut health, pensions and social while keeping education and police/army. Do it slowly while lowering taxes. Should be working.

 

[Cassidy]

Mentioning central banks, I'd love a more realistic game like this that allows for extreme lolbertarian stuff like GOLD STANDARD, abolishing central banking and even abolishing the military and intelligence to hire mercenary companies and Lithuanian Hitmen when needed instead. Wouldn't a game like this be more interested if you could for example RON PAUL 2012 or create a New Nazi Germany by making the right choices?

Try fantasy games

I'm not suggesting that such changes should be beneficial rather than leading to the destruction of the economy of an entire country in a simulation like this, just that they should be possible to be enacted for the lulz.

 

[Malakal]

Damn I patched my 'unofficial' version to get rid of bugs and now it doesn't work. I guess its what I get for playing bugged games requiring dozens of patches to work properly.

 

[Infantryman]

Most unfortunate. Good thing I didn't patch it.

Besides you kind of can be libertarian. Cut health, pensions and social while keeping education and police/army. Do it slowly while lowering taxes. Should be working.

Only kind of. This game makes a false presumption that health-care, education and other services are public goods that can be provided only by the state. That's not true.

 

[Orgasm]

1A

 

[Infantryman]

1A

Thank you, that made me feel really orgasmic.

Why the heck do you people no longer want to vote?

 

[anus_pounder]

1A

Its the right thing to do.

 

[Fafnir]

1A