Hellraiser
Arcane
Bro Darth Roxor, did you steal those team member names from somewhere or did actually make them up yourself. Those puns just seem too good to be your work.
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Crispy™ Let's run rings around Blood Bowl F13 Season 8 - Three Codexers in Play Offs
- Thread starter RK47
- Start date
They are for the most part of my doing, but I got the general idea from the best cartoon ever made 
Filler Game
This is a really hard match up for new Human teams. Power teams like orks can really pile the hurt.
If the armor don't hold, you're fucked. And trying to dodge with AG3 doesn't work that often.
My advice? Don't field catchers.
Absalom's ork broke thought the left easily, caging with Black Orks. I wasn't aiming to stop him anyway.
I wanted to injure his squad at least. I was down 1 to casualty and 1 to KO.
As he advances forward, I noticed he didn't reform the cage, preferring to bash before ending the turn.
I dunno why he did this. It was my best chance to stop the TD. St. James whispered a silent prayer and call upon His name before going no a blitz.
Thrower has block. It's gotta be a push or defender down or stumble. One dice.
Thank god.
Crowd throws ball back in, looks like we can get it...
Matthew needs a little risk... but I'm sure with Team reroll to spare we can manage +2 rolls.
Makes the first GFI! And...
Good. Phew. Not gonna risk a pass or anything.
Bart punches out a black ork. I only got a stun out of it. When suddenly...
Oh.
2 hours later...
This is a really hard match up for new Human teams. Power teams like orks can really pile the hurt.
If the armor don't hold, you're fucked. And trying to dodge with AG3 doesn't work that often.
My advice? Don't field catchers.
Absalom's ork broke thought the left easily, caging with Black Orks. I wasn't aiming to stop him anyway.
I wanted to injure his squad at least. I was down 1 to casualty and 1 to KO.
As he advances forward, I noticed he didn't reform the cage, preferring to bash before ending the turn.
I dunno why he did this. It was my best chance to stop the TD. St. James whispered a silent prayer and call upon His name before going no a blitz.
Thrower has block. It's gotta be a push or defender down or stumble. One dice.
Thank god.
Crowd throws ball back in, looks like we can get it...
Matthew needs a little risk... but I'm sure with Team reroll to spare we can manage +2 rolls.
Makes the first GFI! And...
Good. Phew. Not gonna risk a pass or anything.
Bart punches out a black ork. I only got a stun out of it. When suddenly...
Oh.
2 hours later...
Last edited:
Post Match Commentary
Daring Biebers vs Dinosaurs Cock
This isn't a fair match. 900 TV inducement. But I just don't see how stabby is gonna pull off a win here.
Lizards are tough as tanks while their skinks move like super bikes.
And THEY'RE STUNTY!
So they ignore tackle zone, blodged up, MA9 with Sidestep.
Totally a fair fight.
First half proceeded as expected, despite getting a perfect defense, stabby's superstar, Ramtut III still gets crowdsurfed.
Yes, ST6 isn't enough to stop a combination of Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Guard, Break Tackle, Stand Firm from multiple lizards.
Needless to say the Dinosaurs simply drove past the hapless necros, and parked a skink-baller right at the end zone as they leisurely bash every single Biebers on the field.
First half ended 1-0 to the Dinosaurs Cock.
Second half, after screaming obscenities and spamming steam chat to no avail by yours truly - stabby experienced yet another dire misfortune.
Two words: Pitch invasion. 2-0
Followed by a Blitz.
Do it now before it's too late.
Kudos to stabby though, he held on and scored one back.
But he lost a Wight in the process. A ghoul was off the pitch with a Fractured Arm.
Just another scrubby day at the Elite Division for Team Canada.
Back into the van you go.
The Politically Correct Version of this report can find it below here...written by Dinosaur Cock Coach
Daring Biebers vs Dinosaurs Cock
This isn't a fair match. 900 TV inducement. But I just don't see how stabby is gonna pull off a win here.
Lizards are tough as tanks while their skinks move like super bikes.
And THEY'RE STUNTY!
So they ignore tackle zone, blodged up, MA9 with Sidestep.
Totally a fair fight.
First half proceeded as expected, despite getting a perfect defense, stabby's superstar, Ramtut III still gets crowdsurfed.
Yes, ST6 isn't enough to stop a combination of Mighty Blow, Frenzy, Guard, Break Tackle, Stand Firm from multiple lizards.
Needless to say the Dinosaurs simply drove past the hapless necros, and parked a skink-baller right at the end zone as they leisurely bash every single Biebers on the field.
First half ended 1-0 to the Dinosaurs Cock.
Second half, after screaming obscenities and spamming steam chat to no avail by yours truly - stabby experienced yet another dire misfortune.
Two words: Pitch invasion. 2-0
Followed by a Blitz.
Do it now before it's too late.
Kudos to stabby though, he held on and scored one back.
But he lost a Wight in the process. A ghoul was off the pitch with a Fractured Arm.
Just another scrubby day at the Elite Division for Team Canada.
Back into the van you go.
The Politically Correct Version of this report can find it below here...written by Dinosaur Cock Coach
stabby
Learned
Yup, and as for Match stats:
Hey look! I scored! I'm Improving!! Also, y'all were expecting worse again, especially as this guy beat the other (and higher TV) Necro team 4-1.
Hey look! I scored! I'm Improving!! Also, y'all were expecting worse again, especially as this guy beat the other (and higher TV) Necro team 4-1.
Dat pitch invasion, mang
Rematch 02 - Knights vs Military Union
Rematch is underway as the Military Union spends their inducement on Wizard and two Bloodweiser Babes to help with KO recoveries.
I look forward to a good game here. Roxor is a good coach, but I know I have the better team.
Let's hope the first two turns are quieter.
As the players line up for the kick off, the sun's glare starts to flood down the pitch.
That's gonna mess up some the passing.
Roxor won the coin toss and chose to receive.
Game on.
Short kick.
Good kick off event for Roxor.
Tells his thrower to get in position...
But messes up the catch for a touchback!
Would've been funny if one of their LOS gets it.
But LundB caught the ball and the ref calls the ball to be given freely.
Ended up handing it over to the catcher.
Major glory opens up with a blocking move on Jaedar - rolling double skulls in the process.
Team reroll spent. Defender downed. No injury.
On the other end, Brother None ate a Mighty Blow and gets stunned.
A minor fortune for the Knights as the Ogre bone-headed, wasting his move!
Here comes the blitz...
Hellraiser is down, but not out.
Turn over as the ball moves to the left flank.
There's no cage... this is an opportunity.
I look forward to a good game here. Roxor is a good coach, but I know I have the better team.
Let's hope the first two turns are quieter.
As the players line up for the kick off, the sun's glare starts to flood down the pitch.
That's gonna mess up some the passing.
Roxor won the coin toss and chose to receive.
Game on.
Short kick.
Good kick off event for Roxor.
Tells his thrower to get in position...
But messes up the catch for a touchback!
Would've been funny if one of their LOS gets it.
But LundB caught the ball and the ref calls the ball to be given freely.
Ended up handing it over to the catcher.
Major glory opens up with a blocking move on Jaedar - rolling double skulls in the process.
Team reroll spent. Defender downed. No injury.
On the other end, Brother None ate a Mighty Blow and gets stunned.
A minor fortune for the Knights as the Ogre bone-headed, wasting his move!
Here comes the blitz...
Hellraiser is down, but not out.
Turn over as the ball moves to the left flank.
There's no cage... this is an opportunity.
Counter Cage
That's no cage. And we're gonna make one around it.
With the Bone-headed Ogre out of the way, we can punch a path through the Blitzer.
But the blocking first with an ogre is a rather 'beginner' move in most coaches' books.
There are exceptions, and I really think this is one of them.
Especially when the pay-off is huge.
ST6 - 3 Block Dice. Bone Head cleared.
Blitzer down, let's flood.
Initially I thought Whitewolf should blitz the catcher, but the carrier has Sidestep.
It's a neat ability to control where you are pushed. A soft counter against Frenzy.
So I called on Gondolin who has Tackle to get it done.
Bah. I burn a reroll. I'm kinda greedy.
Sigh. The first result is better (Both Down does't trigger sidestep)
Catcher gets pushed.
Live and learn. Decided to end the turn with a non-Block attack... yeah 1 die.
Duly punished. Lund brought himself down as Knights concedes an unnecessary turnover.
With the Bone-headed Ogre out of the way, we can punch a path through the Blitzer.
But the blocking first with an ogre is a rather 'beginner' move in most coaches' books.
There are exceptions, and I really think this is one of them.
Especially when the pay-off is huge.
ST6 - 3 Block Dice. Bone Head cleared.
Blitzer down, let's flood.
Initially I thought Whitewolf should blitz the catcher, but the carrier has Sidestep.
It's a neat ability to control where you are pushed. A soft counter against Frenzy.
So I called on Gondolin who has Tackle to get it done.
Bah. I burn a reroll. I'm kinda greedy.
Sigh. The first result is better (Both Down does't trigger sidestep)
Catcher gets pushed.
Live and learn. Decided to end the turn with a non-Block attack... yeah 1 die.
Duly punished. Lund brought himself down as Knights concedes an unnecessary turnover.
Unclean Getaway
Still heavy pressure for Military Union who must now extricate the ball from Knights.
Ogre fixes itself, and Roxor calls for a blitz.
But only gets a push.
Moved up his thrower to assist on blocking Xenomorph.
I never liked risking my ace thrower like this...
But so far I'm really doing a bad job at keeping my important pieces covered.
Uh oh...
Phew. No injury!
Ball is clear, running left-
I think we can still catch him next turn.
But it depends on the outcome of the blocks on the right flank...
Jaedar survived with pushes. Looking good for next turn.
When suddenly... Roxor pulls a lino out of the Ogre for a dodge, burning a rerolll in the process!
He makes it on the second try...
Only to fuck up the go for it.
Tense match.
Ogre fixes itself, and Roxor calls for a blitz.
But only gets a push.
Moved up his thrower to assist on blocking Xenomorph.
I never liked risking my ace thrower like this...
But so far I'm really doing a bad job at keeping my important pieces covered.
Uh oh...
Phew. No injury!
Ball is clear, running left-
I think we can still catch him next turn.
But it depends on the outcome of the blocks on the right flank...
Jaedar survived with pushes. Looking good for next turn.
When suddenly... Roxor pulls a lino out of the Ogre for a dodge, burning a rerolll in the process!
He makes it on the second try...
Only to fuck up the go for it.
Tense match.
A game of catch
Gondolin needs to mark something.
That'll do.
Angelo will try his luck against a ST2 Catcher.
Just a push. But at least the catcher is now within range of the ST6 Ogre....
*Sigh* Never mind. Let's move on.
Get up, Xeno.
We can hit the catcher, but we need to put some pressure - just in case we fail.
Leaving Whitewolf free for blitz duty next turn.
OK, all set. Let's get the ball, Jaedar.
Dodge!
Gotcha.
Stuns him too. Not gonna make a try for the ball yet.
Gonna try my luck again with 1D Block (lol why RK, WHY?)
Well. Both have no block so...
Whoops. Stuns his target but hurt himself in the process.
I'm such a terrible player.
That'll do.
Angelo will try his luck against a ST2 Catcher.
Just a push. But at least the catcher is now within range of the ST6 Ogre....
*Sigh* Never mind. Let's move on.
Get up, Xeno.
We can hit the catcher, but we need to put some pressure - just in case we fail.
Leaving Whitewolf free for blitz duty next turn.
OK, all set. Let's get the ball, Jaedar.
Dodge!
Gotcha.
Stuns him too. Not gonna make a try for the ball yet.
Gonna try my luck again with 1D Block (lol why RK, WHY?)
Well. Both have no block so...
Whoops. Stuns his target but hurt himself in the process.
I'm such a terrible player.
Don't Pass Go
Both coaches starting to open risky plays here as the ball is loose.
Roxor using his ogre as first move. But only rewarded with a push!
Elsewhere, Humppaleka finds the return to the league is as rough as ever.
He faceplants after getting triple teamed.
Still, the ball is safe...
Spoke too soon. That AG4 Thrower just dodged out.
Not going for pick up though - satisfied with marking Jaedar...
Wait, who am I kidding, it's a block assist.
Blitz incoming. Brace for impact.
Suddenly, he stopped as he stepped onto the final tile.
And coughed blood.
Go for it failed as Roxor burns his last reroll!
Roxor using his ogre as first move. But only rewarded with a push!
Elsewhere, Humppaleka finds the return to the league is as rough as ever.
He faceplants after getting triple teamed.
Still, the ball is safe...
Spoke too soon. That AG4 Thrower just dodged out.
Not going for pick up though - satisfied with marking Jaedar...
Wait, who am I kidding, it's a block assist.
Blitz incoming. Brace for impact.
Suddenly, he stopped as he stepped onto the final tile.
And coughed blood.
Go for it failed as Roxor burns his last reroll!
Nicolas Cage
Humpalekka soldiers on. I'm afraid that's all the duty I can give him for this match.
We now will attempt to clear the ball zone.
Kinda worried about Roxor's well-being, I'm blitzing his AG4 piece.
Was thinking if I should crowd surf, decided to do a normal block instead to let Jaedar move up with the ball.
Thrower is down but unhurt.
Meanwhile I'm still trying to earn 3 measly SPPs for Jasede's boyfriend...
With very little success...
Konoyaro Bakayaro.
Even Gondolin can't land a Defender Stumble with Tackle on!
Finally, @Angelo86 puts an end to that nonsense and brings the catcher down, albeit unhurt.
Well that's enough bullshit for this turn, time for the VIP.
Scoops and move up!
Brother None brings down a blitzer just as the turn clock is over!
Action is heating up!
We now will attempt to clear the ball zone.
Kinda worried about Roxor's well-being, I'm blitzing his AG4 piece.
Was thinking if I should crowd surf, decided to do a normal block instead to let Jaedar move up with the ball.
Thrower is down but unhurt.
Meanwhile I'm still trying to earn 3 measly SPPs for Jasede's boyfriend...
With very little success...
Konoyaro Bakayaro.
Even Gondolin can't land a Defender Stumble with Tackle on!
Finally, @Angelo86 puts an end to that nonsense and brings the catcher down, albeit unhurt.
Well that's enough bullshit for this turn, time for the VIP.
Scoops and move up!
Brother None brings down a blitzer just as the turn clock is over!
Action is heating up!
Those two turns, with stunned catcher and double failed GFI made me rage so fucking hard 
Swing it or lose it.
Once again, Ogre being the first move! Brother None gets floored but his armor held on!
Fuck where do these assholes come from?
Do we have less people on the pitch?
They're coming from the wals!
I don't think we can score on this turn. That's alright, as long as he doesn't score too.
There's a reason why I don't play catchers when kicking. I don't like ST2 and AV7
We're wide open up front.
Here it comes...
Dodges out with no reroll!
DENIED! JUST A PUSH! Xeno lives!
Turnover as LundB gets smashed, but still able to fly a helicopter and speak mandarin.
Fuck where do these assholes come from?
Do we have less people on the pitch?
They're coming from the wals!
I don't think we can score on this turn. That's alright, as long as he doesn't score too.
There's a reason why I don't play catchers when kicking. I don't like ST2 and AV7
We're wide open up front.
Here it comes...
Dodges out with no reroll!
DENIED! JUST A PUSH! Xeno lives!
Turnover as LundB gets smashed, but still able to fly a helicopter and speak mandarin.
Norton Wizard is detecting problems, would you like to fix?
Tempting him...
I just can't see a way to score here. Priority is ball's safety.
Stuns the blitzer!
LundB gets up.
Gonna try to..
Why do I even bother?
Guess this is all you Hump...time to be a hero.
Yeah, why? I dunno.
Got a push. Well, this is Xeno's escape plan anyway...
Gets a solid hit!
Oh shit.
Fuck. Fractured his skull! Apo got called in.
Just a badly hurt! It's ok, he can play on!
Phew. Resume marking duty and turn over.
I just can't see a way to score here. Priority is ball's safety.
Stuns the blitzer!
LundB gets up.
Gonna try to..
Why do I even bother?
Guess this is all you Hump...time to be a hero.
Yeah, why? I dunno.
Got a push. Well, this is Xeno's escape plan anyway...
Gets a solid hit!
Oh shit.
Fuck. Fractured his skull! Apo got called in.
Just a badly hurt! It's ok, he can play on!
Phew. Resume marking duty and turn over.
Serious Stalemate
Roxor wants the ball but can't commit the players.
Once again, Ogre punch. This time eklektyk is stunned.
Angelo can't stay on his feet up the field.
Is passing to Angelo even an option anymore? LundB and Gondolin gets taken down as Jasede's boyfriend dreams of being a woman.
Our numbers dwindle. Turnover.
We must escape.
Takes down thrower on second try. Both teams using high stakes now.
Jaedar beats a hasty retreat.
Crowd groans as Knights head to the wrong direction.
Jasede's boyfriend recovers and repositions himself.
As well as Gondolin.
And Angelo resumes the hard work.
Now it's down to Brother None to bolster the defense... can he make the dodge?
Yes!
Knights playing it safe as turn clock reaches zero.
Once again, Ogre punch. This time eklektyk is stunned.
Angelo can't stay on his feet up the field.
Is passing to Angelo even an option anymore? LundB and Gondolin gets taken down as Jasede's boyfriend dreams of being a woman.
Our numbers dwindle. Turnover.
We must escape.
Takes down thrower on second try. Both teams using high stakes now.
Jaedar beats a hasty retreat.
Crowd groans as Knights head to the wrong direction.
Jasede's boyfriend recovers and repositions himself.
As well as Gondolin.
And Angelo resumes the hard work.
Now it's down to Brother None to bolster the defense... can he make the dodge?
Yes!
Knights playing it safe as turn clock reaches zero.
That's what BB is all about. Raging hard.
None Shall find him Wanting
Knights multi-layer defense is proving hard for the Military Union to break.
They're going to try again.
The thundering hooves of the ogre as it approaches Whitewolf...
It stops, gazes at the super star with a glare of death...
It's coming.
Brace yourself!
Huh?
What. APOTHECARY!
It was too sudden.
The game is still on.
As my vision changes.
Names now afloat above their heads.
The murderers of our brother.
LundB falls.
Turn over as Military Union tries another dodge.
They're going to try again.
The thundering hooves of the ogre as it approaches Whitewolf...
It stops, gazes at the super star with a glare of death...
It's coming.
Brace yourself!
Huh?
What. APOTHECARY!
It was too sudden.
The game is still on.
As my vision changes.
Names now afloat above their heads.
The murderers of our brother.
LundB falls.
Turn over as Military Union tries another dodge.
Humanity is a fragile thing
What do we do
Why we do it
What is the meta
None of that is important
It's war.
Kill or be killed.
My wrath shall be terrible.
Death can only be answered with violence.
Humanity has fallen and risen.
Despair not.
Our time will come.
And when that moment arrives, we shall know no fear.
Come. Show me what passes for fury to your amongst your misbegotten kind.
Why we do it
What is the meta
None of that is important
It's war.
Kill or be killed.
My wrath shall be terrible.
Death can only be answered with violence.
Humanity has fallen and risen.
Despair not.
Our time will come.
And when that moment arrives, we shall know no fear.
Come. Show me what passes for fury to your amongst your misbegotten kind.
Countdown to Vengeance
The enemy is relentless.
Whitewolf is KO'ed.
As the clock ticks down to half time, Military Union presses the advantage and takes down as many Knights as possible.
No avenues of escape.
Conflict is constant. Turnover. Gondolin must not lose the ball.
Angelo return to marking duty.
Ignore the failure. Press on!
Jaedar will have to make this count.
Only gets a push!
Gondolin finishes it with a knockdown.
Regroup!
Last stand, you bastards!
You want the ball? Come get it!
Whitewolf is KO'ed.
As the clock ticks down to half time, Military Union presses the advantage and takes down as many Knights as possible.
No avenues of escape.
Conflict is constant. Turnover. Gondolin must not lose the ball.
Angelo return to marking duty.
Ignore the failure. Press on!
Jaedar will have to make this count.
Only gets a push!
Gondolin finishes it with a knockdown.
Regroup!
Last stand, you bastards!
You want the ball? Come get it!
Retribution
This is their last chance.
Hah! Just a push!
Fall!
Humppalekka scores an injury! The knight survived the onslaught! It's going to be 0-0 to half time!
But it's not over yet, oh no...my wrath is terrible...
BLOOD AND FURY!
Bah. HURT THEM!
YES!
DIE YOU SCUM!
GET OUT OF THIS FIELD!
WE ARE NOT DONE YET! PLANT OUR BOOTS ON THE FALLEN FACES!
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, KNIGHTS!
FOR THE FALLEN!
The crowd cheered wildly as the first half ends.
The referee breaks the player scuffles as they return to the sidelines, readying for the next half.
Blood is spilled.
Yet none is the victor..
Not yet, anyway.
Hah! Just a push!
Fall!
Humppalekka scores an injury! The knight survived the onslaught! It's going to be 0-0 to half time!
But it's not over yet, oh no...my wrath is terrible...
BLOOD AND FURY!
Bah. HURT THEM!
YES!
DIE YOU SCUM!
GET OUT OF THIS FIELD!
WE ARE NOT DONE YET! PLANT OUR BOOTS ON THE FALLEN FACES!
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, KNIGHTS!
FOR THE FALLEN!
The crowd cheered wildly as the first half ends.
The referee breaks the player scuffles as they return to the sidelines, readying for the next half.
Blood is spilled.
Yet none is the victor..
Not yet, anyway.
Heal the injured, Awaken the Fallen, Avenge the Dead
Pain.
Suffering.
It's time. I enter the field with my fist clenched tight. My brother has fallen, and he will be avenged.
The sun lessened its glare as the battle commences.
A fatal mistake.
Stabby gets the ball.
ATTACK!
Gah, reroll to a push!
Gonna run back...
Xeno moves forward.
Begin the ritual!
I have control.
Pain.
Suffering.
It's time. I enter the field with my fist clenched tight. My brother has fallen, and he will be avenged.
The sun lessened its glare as the battle commences.
A fatal mistake.
Stabby gets the ball.
ATTACK!
Gah, reroll to a push!
Gonna run back...
Xeno moves forward.
Begin the ritual!
I have control.
All and more
Once again the Ogre takes the first move, yet Bonehead hits it hard.
Not discouraged, the Military Union strikes left.
Jaedar falls, but uninjured.
They think to threaten us?
Fools. Your isolated being will be your downfall.
Fall.
Come, I am here!
Not discouraged, the Military Union strikes left.
Jaedar falls, but uninjured.
They think to threaten us?
Fools. Your isolated being will be your downfall.
Fall.
Come, I am here!
Showdown
Here they come again.
The military union is perhaps thinking of equalizing the number with several 2d blocks.
Unfortunately all they got were pushes.
We must press our advantage and induce more blocks.
As the turn is over, the skies turn crimson red.
It's here...
Hah. And yet I live!
Nothing out of that. Let's get this going.
Whitewolf finished a blitz with assist.
Xeno's turn with the ball.
Smooth. I'm not gonna run.
We'll make our stand here. In the center.
They have to come here if they want the ball.
They've lost another.
Press on brothers!
Ogre down, but not out!
Let the center be their graveyard.
The military union is perhaps thinking of equalizing the number with several 2d blocks.
Unfortunately all they got were pushes.
We must press our advantage and induce more blocks.
As the turn is over, the skies turn crimson red.
It's here...
Hah. And yet I live!
Nothing out of that. Let's get this going.
Whitewolf finished a blitz with assist.
Xeno's turn with the ball.
Smooth. I'm not gonna run.
We'll make our stand here. In the center.
They have to come here if they want the ball.
They've lost another.
Press on brothers!
Ogre down, but not out!
Let the center be their graveyard.
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