Another glorious day awaits. What can we do to start it well?
How about we check the character screen? It's been a while.
We should soon get a thief level up.
Oh, you are doing this character screen commentary thing? Wake me up when it's over.
Getting high reputation is not as easy in this game as it was in the first one.
These saving throws look good, but we won't be wearing Ring of Protection +2 at all times, because we use Ring of Regeneration a lot too.
More than I'd like to.
Nothing really changes in these stats.
And yet you insist on showing them. Every time.
15% Magic Resistance can be surprisingly useful. In this game it does not affect buffs and healing spells - which is a bit of a simplification (aka
) but also saves us a lot of time and frustration.
About this Bone Golem...
Can we move the fuck on?
Alright, alright.
We'll go to the Temple District.
Why?
Because of our readers. As one of them said, let me quote: 'I want to see the Codex suffer.'
Oh. And who was this charming person?
I'm afraid I cannot disclose such information.
Pity. I wanted to personally express my appreciation for the uncanny sense of humor he presented.
I figured it would be something like that.
Fuck off.
Fuck off!
Fuck... Oh, a blasphemer? This could be good.
Oh yeah, the plot. We are going to skip that. If someone is interested, check the spoiler tag below.
I have some pretty bad memories from the last time I agreed to follow a priest to a secluded place...
I'm sure we can earn some reward from this.
Candy, I assume.
I am warning you priest, if you try something fishy...
More plot! We can't waste time on that, but if You can, check the spoiler tag.
Time to enter the sewers (also check out this sweet loading screen tooltip).
When exactly did I agree to do this?
On the character creation screen.
I don't remember anything being mentioned back then about walking in shit to run errands for some priest.
It was in the fine print.
Fantastic.
Goblins. Fan-tastic.
Kobolds. Fan-fucking-tastic. I can already see this is going to be one of the most entertaining updates of the LP.
Fighting kobolds in the sewers... You know, I've been to hell, abyss, or whatever it's called, but this is somehow worse.
At least you are not dying every three screenshots.
There! I really fucking hope we are done with kobolds for the foreseeable future.
This isn't even proper combat. More like sweeping. I am really longing for some challenge.
Be careful what You wish for.
I'm not even here of my own volition, so you shitheads can fuck off.
Here, choke on this!
Ouch! Tarnor the Hatchetman, you've just earned a place on my blacklist!
Ow-FUCK! And now you've made it to the top!
Just let me cast stoneskin and I'll get right back to killing you.
We'll be back after the ad break.
Death Count: 89
Loading.
I have some bad feelings about this encounter.
No point in saving buffs, it will only end in more deaths. I might as well treat this situation seriously and be done with it.
Oh yeah, this is definitely looking much beter.
And there goes my last charge of wand of fear.
It only affected one of them.
I know.
Shit! Seriously, you're pushing it, Tarnor!
This should help.
You should also heal yourself.
Why?
Because power word.
Not entirely unexpected.
Death Count: 90
Load game.
There's just too many of them.
What are we going to do about it?
I have an idea.
Hey, you there, Zorl. Why don't you join the winning side?
Fail, it fucked!
Eat lightning, midget!
We had to back away a little, for some positioning advantage.
Uh, could you guys give me a little breathing room? I am not finished with your little friend yet.
And talking about breathing room...
Alright, and now for the rest of you...
Two down, four to go.
Let me quickly refresh my stoneskin.
Don't forget to heal this time, or-
Or You will get stunned again. Fuck.
Ok, technically, you were held, not stunned. And now it's both.
Not that it changes anything.
Death count: 91
Reload.
It would be funny if this proved to be the most difficult part of the quest.
Yes. Don't count on it.
Alright, so let me introduce everyone to my new friend: LEE. Say hello, LEE.
Elementals don't speak.
Are you sure?
I'm sure they don't speak in this LP.
I might as well summon the useless berzerker too.
Hey!
Go and kill them LEE, while I support you with my cloud of death, mwahahaha!
WTF? You died?
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to send him into the Cloud Kill.
He's an alemental. He should not need to breathe!
Protect the funny elf, RAAAWR!
Oh, yeah, you do that.
Since LEE proved unworthy of the trust I put in him, I will confuse the shit of out everyone.
Wow, it actually worked much better than expected.
We still have to deal with the not-confused ones.
This should be easy.
Zorl is taken care of.
Bitchin'! Great job, Lilarcor!
Hell yeah!
Rengaard is down. This is actually looking good!
And suddenly it's not looking good at all.
These hostile adventuring parties are a real pain in the arse.
Death count: 92
Restore save game.
Fucking power words. I hate them.
Enough of this shit. Haste for everyone.
Attack Maim Kill!
ThisTimeIWillStartWithSomePsychologicalWarfare.
AndMyNishruuShouldTakeCareOfTheFuckingPowerWordHurlingMageFucker.
GIMME MAGICKSSS!!
This thing really creeps me out.
IKindaLikeHim.
BTW, our berserker died already.
HeIsSeriouslyFuckingUseless.
GoodJobLEE!
Nishruu is down.
NoMatterHeHasDoneHisJob.
Our elemental is gone.
FuckHimIKilledTheHatchetman.
TimeForALittleRefreshment.
They've sent an invisible stalker after You.
WhereIDoNotSeeIt.
Look for a moving red circle on the ground.
AhOkGotIt.
ItIsFunnyThatZorlDied.
It is?
HeJustCastDeathWardOnHimselfAWhileAgo.
And...?
AndDied.
Um, yes, very funny. Ha ha.
IHaveAFeelingYouAreNotTreatingMyJokesSeriously.
AndRengaardEatsShitTooAlmostTooEasyAtThisPoint.
You always die when You say thse things, so please stop.
ThisGuyMustBeTheMostUselessMemberOfTheirParty.
Well, he
is an elf.
And this takes care of the invisible stalker. Only the mage left, I think?
Actually, Cloud Kill got him. This is the end, we won!
Neat! Looting time!
The loot is considerable.
I'll be the judge of that.
Useless.
Lilarcor already gives me that.
Cool, but I'm not using axes.
Also, the +2 modifier is not enough for this game even in the slightest.
Nice, but maces are meh.
Can't use ring of protection together with it, so no.
It's shit.
I'm guessing this does not lead to our quest.
No, it's a different one.
Great, I can't wait for the next opportunity to roam these fine sewers.
Fuck, no.
Really, this is enough kobolds for one lifetime. I hope I make myself clear.
These arrows cost money, you know.
What the fuck? A cat-man? And he's leading a gang of kobolds?
What, did You expect
mutant turtles and their rat monk master? Also, it might be female.
It might also be decapitated by my faithful Lilarcor, oh yeah!
Just doin' mah job.
He dropped something.
I always wanted to be able to turn into a rat, or a mustard jelly. Except not really.
And the troll?
I can turn into that at will.
I really hope these are the last kobolds I ever meet, because this got old around the final level of Nashkel mines.
Done. Let's see what other atractions await us in these incredible sewers.
Perfect. I've always wanted to do shady business WITH A GUY I JUST MET IN THE FUCKING SEWERS.
Don't complain. He saves us a lot of backtracking.
One starts to wonder just how much gold does this guy carry around with him.
Not as much as You do, surely.
It might still be worth to kill him.
If only it worked like that.
Since we only use arrows, magic bolts and bullets are a quite nice source of revenue for us.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! I hate these things!
Magic missile to the... Face? Snout? Mouth?
And another one!
Watch out, a troll.
Sea Troll? Somehow these two words seem so unnatural when put together.
Har har har.
Death Count: 93
Loading.
Fucking trolls.
Can't live with them, can't live without them.
Don't come any closer, shiteater!
Troll inbound!
Yeah, I'm not blind.
Hopefully, this helps.
UNLIMITED POWAH!
Good thing I've kept the flail.
Tou're going down too!
Send Lovecraft my regards!
What is with these guys?
No idea. Some new quest, maybe? Let's move on.
What's going on here?
A paladin is fighting zombies.
Which side should I help? Tough call...
Ok, I am definitely leaning towards the zombies.
Don't hold your breath, gramps.
Goblins. Fuck. That's it. I am done with this shit quest. Going home.
You can't give up now.
Why not?
Because it's the end of the update. We are done with the sewers.
Fucking finally!
I forgot to make the map area screenshot, dear viewers, but it is completed. You can take my word for it.
Oh yeah, it
is.
----------
Next time: We will investigate the cult of the Unseeing Eye right, down to the last locked chest.
I like that a lot.