[LP CYOA] 傳

[Nevill]

Wait, why is everyone assuming that praying is going to get you a physical audience at the Celestial Court instead of a voice or two manifesting inside your head?

Because Baltika9 came up with that prediction:

What will happen:

“Well, here goes nothing!” As you approach, every fine detail of those wrinkled, slimy lips come into focus. You leap onto the monstrous Lady Mi. Gritting your teeth, you clamp your mouth over its maw. Nothing is happening. You feel the mushy flesh sliding around and the stank, fetid breath of the surprised monster. Nothing seems to be happening, except for a certain nasty catch in your throat that is about to cause you to empty your stomach. “Blow! Blow into it!” shouts Xiahou Yu. Cursing the day you stepped foot into this mansion, you blow as hard as you can. The demon shrieks. Plumes of foul green vapour begin shooting out from its skin as it scratches at you, attempting to pull you off, but you can sense it weakening. Still, it is not dead.

Only more hawt.

And since there are only Jing and Shun around, most voters try to shield their minds from the scene by whatever fantasy they can imagine.

 

[Baltika9]

There are also some imperial guards around. We could kiss one of them.

 

[Azira]

Wait, why is everyone assuming that praying is going to get you a physical audience at the Celestial Court instead of a voice or two manifesting inside your head?

Have you not noticed? Wild assumptions are in this season. We're positively wading in them.

 

[Absinthe]

And how miserably did he fail then?

People shat bricks and ganged up on him for a fighting chance. Ask treave if you want details; this story isn't quite the original myth.

 

[Baltika9]

That's right. Epically. He failed Epically.
His forces scattered.
His woman, dead.
Himself, dead.
He was the biggest bogeyman of that period, absolutely no doubt about it, but he still failed. That's when he had actual magic. How are we going to learn magic?

 

[treave]

A - 7
B - 1
C - 10

Votes close in an hour or so.

 

[Nevill]

Well, whatever emperor comes next will have to rebuild the country from scratch. I figure a hundred or so wagons of celestial bricks might help him with the task.

 

[Baltika9]

Well, whatever emperor comes next will have to rebuild the country from scratch. I figured a hundred or so wagons of celestial bricks might help him with the task.

So you mean Heaven won't even care to send an army this time and will just stone us to death?

Did Nuwa embrace Islam?

 

[treave]

Hm, yeah, getting transmogrified into a pile of bricks isn't too outlandish for Chinese deity capabilities either.

Jing: Admit it, the thought of fighting me makes you shit bricks!
Nuwa: No Jing, YOU ARE THE BRICKS

And then Jing was a wall.

 

[Absinthe]

Er, treave, any chance we could get more time on this vote?

That's when he had accrual magic. How are we going to learn magic?

It still exists in the world. Just gotta look for it. That Taoist exorcist knew magic, for one.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Enough time has passed. I have made my decision. To glory!! :lemming.gif:

 

[treave]

Er, treave, any chance we could get more time on this vote?

Nah, I already decided before the update roughly how long this was going to be open for. We'll get the ending that we get when the votes close.

 

[Baltika9]

Jing: Admit it, the thought of fighting me makes you shit bricks!
Nuwa: No Jing, YOU ARE THE BRICKS

And then Jing was a wall.

Can this be the canon ending if we declare a war on Heaven? Please?

Er, treave, any chance we could get more time on this vote?

Can we not? I want to see what happens already.

 

[Nevill]

And then Jing was a wall.

B--but Guo Fu is already a wall! Can't we become something more original?

Also, how can we become a part of the Great Wall of China and protect the country from Mongols if we are Mongols? Or is that the Plan? To sabotage the defenders and let our people in at the crucial moment?

Intriguing!

Edit: nevermind, Bro Fu is the Southern Mountain, not the Wall. The other point still stands, though.

 

[ChumBucket]

Epic level of DISCUSS! going on here... A

 

[Nevill]

Hardly making your case, bro. These gods seem to have personalities, laws, agendas, emotions. The spheres were like idiot children with unlimited power. No laws, just morbid curiosity.

Right, they do have personalities and emotions. Those of idiot children with unlimited power.

I mean, stalking us for an eternity over some thousand year old grudge? Seething with hatred because of a joke we played on the previous Emperor? Destroying Empires and treating them as their playthings only to show that everything the Man builds is only temporary?

The last one is not something Nuwa thought up, by the way.

I don't think you will like their 'laws' very much.

 

[Kipeci]

Did I vote already? If not, B>C.

I remain partial to angry horse archers bursting into the Empire to take Shun's stuff accompanied by crazed assassins and fire witches just as soon as he's made aware of the magnitude of his terrible deed, but curiosit about what will happen if we pray is next up in my list.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

Hardly making your case, bro. These gods seem to have personalities, laws, agendas, emotions. The spheres were like idiot children with unlimited power. No laws, just morbid curiosity.

Right, they do have personalities and emotions. Those of idiot children with unlimited power.

I mean, stalking us for an eternity over some thousand year old grudge? Seething with hatred because of a joke we played on the previous Emperor? Destroying Empires and treating them as their playthings only to show that everything the Man builds is only temporary?

The last one is not something Nuwa thought up, by the way.

I don't think you will like their 'laws' very much.

Can we have one argument where you don't go all rainman over every sentence just because I didn't say something just the right way? If you are actually suggesting that these gods are the same as the spheres, you need to get real. That's like saying Jing is the same as Dio because he has killed people too. Or that the masters were the same as the spheres because they are both immortal adversaries of the PC with godlike powers. Unless our conversation with Nuwah ends up being "want to play?" followed by 3000 years of torture, they are different.

Not that any of this is productive to our current discuss. Semi-autistic levels of banal, anal niggling over semantics such as these will get us nowhere. Let's move on shall we?

 

[treave]

It took thousands of years, countless layers of plots and the deaths of millions to prove the point, but finally, a reincarnation of Chi You's will admit - AS HE SHOULD HAVE AGES AGO! - that he can't solve a desperate situation with mortal means after all and actively turn to the gods for help. Aw yeah!

Spoiler

Nuwa: JUST AS PLANNED.

C wins.

 

[Baltika9]

Can we get raped by a sexy naga now?

 

[Nevill]

If you are actually suggesting that these gods are the same as the spheres, you need to get real. That's like saying Jing is the same as Dio because he has killed people too. Or that the masters were the same as the spheres because they are both immortal adversaries of the PC with godlike powers.

All I am saying, those powers are alien to us. The gods less so, the spheres more so, but it does not matter in the end.

Let's move on shall we?

Looks like we don't have a chocie.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Schnap, was gonna vote A.

 

[a cut of domestic sheep prime]

It took thousands of years, countless layers of plots and the deaths of millions to prove the point, but finally, a reincarnation of Chi You's will admit - AS HE SHOULD HAVE AGES AGO! - that he can't solve a desperate situation with mortal means after all and actively turn to the gods for help. Aw yeah!

Spoiler

Nuwa: JUST AS PLANNED.

C wins.

Like any other woman, Nuwa just wants to feel needed.

 

[Azira]

Oh I am so breaking out the popcorn for the coming update.

 

[Tigranes]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu