Out of Mind
“This is as far as I can take you,” says Erika’s disembodied voice. “From here onward you are on your own. When you are ready, place your hand on the cube. I will do the rest. Remember, once the seal is opened it cannot be locked again. You should finish the job. Good luck, Senya.” The cube that she is talking about is a small black thing on a mantelpiece in the house of my mind. It gleams in the light, its surface smooth with nary an etching to be found. I place my hand on it.
The cube unfolds and envelops me.
Again, I find myself in total darkness. I turn around in confusion.
“Can’t get used to the dark?” laughs a familiar voice. My voice. “What’s the matter? Shall I bring you a night light?”
I ignore him. We are no longer in a program that he has taken control of. We are in my mind, and that means control should be mine. If I want light…
The darkness clears away, revealing my surroundings. The room seems to be carved entirely out of polished black marble, with only a solitary, bright lamp hanging from the center to illuminate it. Not a few feet away from me, he sits on an ivory throne that seems to have been cobbled together from the bones of multiple long-dead prehistoric beasts. His appearance is different from the last time I saw him – this time, he looked my age, if not much skinnier, with filthy, long hair and an unruly scruff about his chin. Two massive manacles shackle his wrists, their chains anchored to the floor. As he shifts his wasted body, I realize that the throne is sprouting thorns of bone that have hooked deep into his flesh, limiting his movement.
“So, how am I doing today?” he asks with a sneer.
“Perfectly well, thank you. How are you?” I reply, reclining myself into a lush and comfortable armchair.
“Could be better,” he laughs. “Buy me a better chair. This one sucks.”
“We will see about that, won’t we?”
“Yes, we will,” he agrees. “I know what you are here for.”
“That makes things simpler, then.” I say. “Will you fight me, or shall we do this the easy way?”
He bursts into uncontrollable laughter. As he does so, the thorns of the throne react in response to his movement, growing and sinking deeper into his body.
“Fight you? I have never sought to fight you. You are me, after all, even if I don’t like your hypocrisy and stupidity. Liar. You lie to everyone, even yourself. You seek power, you say? What do you seek it for?”
“To free-“
“Liar. You ascribe blame to those above you, telling yourself that their plotting and scheming has been responsible for every bad thing in your life. You take no responsibility for any of your actions. You would discard lives recklessly, heartlessly, in your own games for power, and yet you point fingers at the gods’ schemes and call them tyrants, when in truth you are no better than them. The ends justify the means, you say? I know everything you did. I am you. I know just how cold your heart has become. Would such a man be able to free anything?” I grit my teeth, barely holding in my anger. “You are one to talk… you who killed an entire planet.”
“Is that what you think?” He gives me a sickly grin. “I brought them salvation.”
“You disassembled people. I still… you call that salvation, you son of a bitch?” I spring up from the chair, the memories of what happened to Kyrie boiling within me.
“People – no, everything is information,” he says quietly. His eyes, half covered by his messy hair, seem to glint a pale blue. “You are aware of that?” I stare at him for a while before deciding to sit down again. “Go on.”
“I will repeat my doctrine again. Our world is a world of dreams. In a dream that is indistinguishable from the real thing, how would you awaken? Through fear. By turning their existence into a nightmare I save them from this false reality. Imagine, if you will… your flesh melting… bubbling… replicating… Would you accept it? Would you not rather think it is a dream, that this cannot be happening to you?”
“That is just denial of reality.”
“Rejection of a false reality is important!” He shouts triumphantly. “That is the first step to setting yourself free. I give them the chance, you see?”
“They are still dead. What chance do they have now?”
“Your ears listen but your mind does not understand. I said it before. Everything is information. I reprogrammed the nanomachines based on that understanding.”
“You mean…”
“Based on studies of the Inanna flower, there is reason to believe that they interact as a hive-mind of some sort. Each flower can respond to the others, even over great distances.”
“Yes,” I say warily. “I am familiar with that study.”
“Where do you think the scientists developed their nanomachines from? I told you, I found a more refined method.”
The Inanna flowers. I also recall reading about research involving that, back in the day. They were using the Dunamis and the flowers for nanomachine experimentation.
“Information… turning everyone into goo was just a side-effect. You were… freeing their information from the constraint of their bodies.”
“Yes. Unfortunately Shulgi interfered before my plan was fully complete. I had to improvise... and then the Star League razed the Earth in fear. Fools, all of them. I would have brought that information with me to a new reality, where our creators hold no sway. ”
“How would you do that?”
“It’s simple. You just have to observe the possibility of a universe without their influence.”
“Then… no. You are not being entirely truthful with me. How do you carry the information over? How do you ensure you keep the data intact, and that everyone can be reconstructed?“
He is silent for a moment, and then breaks out into another fit of laughter. “Oh, you have grown sharp, haven’t you? There is no guarantee, I admit. But such is the nature of salvation. You have to have faith to be saved. Those with fear and the willpower sparked from it will regain their identity in the sea of minds. Those without will slumber in ignorance. Yes, the data may degrade, but all life comes to an end anyway.”
“In the end, we are still talking about the sacrifice of billions on your road to salvation.”
“Do you have any better idea besides your usual hypocritical ways? Tell me, what is the world that you would build?”
What he wants would mean escaping this sandbox of the gods, into a world where only those with the will to do so would be able to regain sentience and physical form. Do I agree with his methods and his goal?
***
If I had to build my own world, the immortals and their masters stand in my way. I would have to slay those gods that would not bend to me, before I can create a world that:
A. Emphasizes strength, be it physical or mental. Humanity is best served by advancing through merit. In such a world there is no place for the weak.
B. Emphasizes equality, where everyone is treated fairly; from each according to his ability, to each according to his need.
C. Emphasizes freedom; I will not overthrow the gods just to replace them with myself. Whatever comes after, good or bad, it is up to humanity to decide.
However, perhaps I…
D. Agree with him. Will is paramount; regardless of skill or talent or background, only those who have a strong will are the ones that deserve to survive.
***
“I see. Interesting. At any rate, are you sure you have time to be talking with me like this?” He grins upon hearing my answer, even as he mocks me. “Your precious friends could be in danger even now. Should you not hurry?”
A. I will stay to the end, listen to his – my – story, and know everything he knows. Only then will I be able to fully accept this ghost from my past and the whole extent of my powers.
B. I will take from him what power I can and leave. There is no need to understand anything more about this lunatic, no more need to waste any time on him. I can always return to finish him off another time, when I require more power.