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[LP CYOA] Epic

Discussion in 'Choose Your Own Adventure Land' started by treave, Jun 23, 2012.

  1. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    We're the muscle they're there for waving pompoms and singing songs. Besides, have a little faith in the guys, they're willing to go to their deaths over this. It'll be like leading the militia against Wanker back in Egypt.

    If not, agree to disagree.
     
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  2. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
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    We do have an idea. Sekhenun gave us the basics for what our condition was like last update.

    It will expose us and provide no strategic advantage. Pissing off Marduk and starting a bloody personal vendetta with him so that we can capture a single weak Gieloth is nuts. He'll know that something is going on and he will begin to clamp down on the city very hard. At best, we will have a lot of trouble making further such attacks, and at worst the rebellion will be crushed before it can really begin.

    the Gieloth general mentioned in this update will almost certainly have backup next time we see him. Taking out a target like that now will save us a lot of trouble in the future.

    If you are so concerned about secrecy, then why not vote 1B? That way you can have a power boost by devouring the human, you won't owe Sekhenun anything, and it is MUCH easier to cover up that kind of assassination than it is to cover up assassinating 3 of Marduk's children. 1A is the worst of both worlds. It has none of the advantages of secrecy that B provides, and none of the crippling effectiveness and potential for a major power boost that C provides. Awful choice.

    Look guys, we opted to devour the thug that we killed earlier. Now we're also giving Sekhenun the possibility of feeding on few mortals to increase her powers. We haven't made our move yet, so we've got the element of surprise in our favour. We have all the ingredients there to pull off a successful and deadly ambush against Miuhl. Let's not waste it on some pissants.
     
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  3. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
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    1A has none of the short term risks that C has. And 1B achieves nothing.
     
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  4. oscar Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    oscar
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    I think it'll be more solid for morale to pull off three assassinations than risk an open battle where we could very likely get our ass kicked.

    I also don't think information is a good enough trade with Sek.
     
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  5. CAD - We can't set things up for Shulgi to come back at the last minute and take over.

    edit: Upon further consideration, flopping to 1c. Killing him outside the city vs killing 3 gieloth inside it is far less suspicious. Plus he's killed gieloth. Could be seen as act of revenge vs direct assualt on gieloth like killing the 3 would be.
     
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  6. ScubaV Prophet

    ScubaV
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    I'll flop to 1C, but I really think you guys should vote 3D. This is not a good deal for Ean, even the people voting for a deal admit it's not a good deal. And if we can't break it then we're stuck for eternity until Sekhenun revokes it or she dies. The people dying for Sekhenun erotica are one thing (crazy and getting a little too repetitive), but the rest of you should be level-headed enough to realize that this is a bad play. Maybe if she was offering all her knowledge on the Gieloth like in the update where we chose the communications network, that would be worthwhile. But the information she's offering up is frankly shit. Walk away now and wait for a better deal later.
     
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  7. Esquilax Arcane

    Esquilax
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    I have thought about this and that's why my final vote is for CAD. We have to usurp Shulgi's legacy, even if it risks bringing down his attention. As nice as the idea of Smashing Axe and Storyfag's idea of becoming allies with Shulgi is, it is incredibly naive. If he is the same asshole he's always been, he'll just come along and fuck us over. So we have to take the reins here. Shulgi will just come by, thank us for doing all the work for him, fuck us over, then kill Marduk himself after he's done with us. The guy is a masterful psychic, he could easily turn our army against us. However, if they think we're god, then he's going to have a lot more trouble making his tricks work against them... and then we can kick the shit out of him again.

    Our encounter with Theseus has not made Ean any savvier to people's manipulations, it seems. We have to stop falling in love with these clearly manipulative and self-interested people around us. The last true bro we had was Akil, and until I see another Akil, I am done with BROdom.

    I am not banking on the unlikely possibility that he's turned over a new leaf. If he's changed drastically over the last 400 years, then he'll understand why we've impersonated him and he won't mind. If he hasn't changed, then he'll fuck us over anyways. So based on that, no matter what, I think 2A is the way to go.

    The concern that you have: morale, will be rectified by 2A. With the cultists convinced that god is on their side, morale will be through the roof and they'll throw themselves at Mehlu's men without any hesitation. If they think we're Shulgi, that's all the morale that we need. It will also give us more leverage over Sekhenun. The only bad part about proclaiming ourselves as Shulgi would be that it would reach his ears, but he would try and fuck us over anyways.

    Agreed. Notice how she was acting when we approached her with a bargain. At first she was terrified because she was certain we were going to kill her. Then she immediately relaxed once we realized we wanted to make a deal because she thought "great, I'm going to have him wrapped around my finger now". Our agreement that she can't eat humans binds her, and I think we should hold out until we can get something really good from her.
     
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  8. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    Flopped to 3D, since it has the best chance of beating 3A. Esquilax has a rather good catch of Sekhenun "wrapping us around her finger." She could use this to pressure us morally into avoid eating certain Gieloth, thereby controlling our growth. So, doing this just to get our hands on information easily obtainable by other means(beating the shit out of someone, for one.) is stupid. Besides, this may be her version of a "retard test", hence this might be a good case of "my way or the highway" being the right choice. Much as I hate passing up a chance at diplomacy and all.

    ScubaV: You know you love us, baby.
     
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  9. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    Like this?
    http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions/shit-test/
    No, it's nothing like that, hopefully. :lol:
     
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  10. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    treave: Nah, I meant retard test, as in "Is he still a fucking retard?" kind of way. What, all you bros think I want to fuck the xeno just for the lulz? I'd go play Mass Effect if that were the case. Sure, it would be lulzy by itself(and if none of you have noticed, I'm all for the lulz), but once we got her on the "please fuck me, master" level, a top Gieloth scientist, is there anything she won't do, make or say to please Ean?

    Edit: And, yeah, I don't share your hopes.
     
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  11. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
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    But I do :(
    For the sake of Lulz :(

    But you have a point there... Sticking with 3C for now, will see later..
     
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  12. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
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    Flopping to 3D.
     
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  13. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    Don't get me wrong, bro. Lulz is one of the primary motivators. Alongside pragmatism and me wanting to believe.
     
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  14. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    I, for one, am looking forward to "deep negotiations" with Sekhenun in regards to "devastating, penetrating deep strikes against the enemy's rear" against then Masters by our main "penal legions", while the Spess Mehreen forces execute "simultaneous and crippling deep strikes" around the "flanks" of the enemy." All the while drinking the "love juice"of the Gieloth and "devouring their raw and, ahem, "bloody" "steaks." During a 'romantic" dinner with Sekhenun, during which we discuss "operational strategy" for the evening.


    I can do this all day, bros.
    :troll:
    Edit: treave, I'd e really appreciative if Ean would pull his smugface when he tells Sekhenun: "My way or the highway, doll."
     
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  15. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    Codex 2012
    ABA
    ABD
    CBD
    ABD
    CBD
    ABD
    BBA
    ABA
    BBA
    CAC
    ABA
    CBD
    BBC
    CBC
    CAC
    BBA
    CAD
    CAD

    Assassination:
    A – 6
    B – 4
    C – 8

    Cult:
    A – 4
    B – 14

    Info:
    A – 6
    B – 0
    C – 4
    D – 8

    ***

    Chapter 5.4: Mehlu

    “O Dreadful One, Mehlu will soon be here. Shall we get into position? Shall we strike the first blow of our rebellion?” The cultist bows, not looking you in the eye. He speaks with a respectful tone, eagerly anticipating your orders.

    You stop adjusting your rags and look at the cultist. “Dreadful One? What is that supposed to mean?”

    “The Mistress revealed that you were the Dread Master, son of Ereshkigal who will bring death to the enemies of our God!”

    You stop him before he begins babbling, and give the order for positions to be taken. Garam was slightly gullible and fervent in his belief, which was why Sekhenun had recommended that you work with him on this mission. At least, he would obey your orders. You had been camped out at a rocky ledge overlooking the road with about twenty other cultists for the past two days, awaiting Mehlu’s arrival. The plan was to disguise your assassination as a bandit raid, as you didn't fancy your chances of wading single-handedly through a hundred men to get to Mehlu's head with just your current strength. A distraction was needed. Bandit attacks seemed to happen more frequently nowadays, and even Marduk’s patrols were occasionally raided if they thought they could get away with it. The inspection task force also brought with them supplies with which to reinforce the fort – if you were lucky, you would make away with those supplies in addition to taking Mehlu’s life. The attack did not need to be thorough, as you figured a quick ambush would throw the forces into disarray enough for you to do what you came here to do. With Mehlu dead, the soldiers would be too panicked to guard the supplies. That was the best case scenario. The only way this plan would fail would be if Mehlu was stronger than you thought… you would just have to fight as hard as you could.

    ***

    Sure enough, the Gieloth appeared on the road, riding at the head of his men. He cut a handsome, darkly tanned figure, decked out in ornate bronze armour, with a three-pronged golden spear that was rumoured to have been ripped from the hands of his former best friend. The supply caravans were trailing at the end of the line. Bandits would not usually attack a force a hundred-men strong – Mehlu apparently felt no need to be cautious. It seems that he was overconfident about his recent victories, and pleased with his new position. Grinning, you raise your ragged scarf, masking your nose and mouth. The cultists did the same. You raise your hand, readying the archers to fire.

    Then, there was something else. You sense many humans, on the other side of the road, where a high cliff made it impassable. Their heads begin appearing over the top of the cliff. You hold fire; it would be better to err on the side of caution for a while. A few seconds later, rocks begin raining down from the cliff-side, taking Mehlu’s men by surprise and disabling quite a few. Ropes flew off from the edge, hanging down the side of the rocky wall. As you watch in astonishment, men began climbing down the ropes swiftly and as naturally as walking on a straight path. They leapt upon the Babylonian soldiers, weapons at the ready and screaming a guttural warcry. There were maybe thirty of them fighting fiercely. Were they bandits?

    “Gutians!” whispered Garam. “There were rumours of a tribe of them still remaining here in the west, engaging in petty banditry like the savages that they are, but to come so close to Babylon…”

    You remember hearing about the Gutians when you were last in Sumeria, many decades ago, though you did not pay their tale much attention as they were a spent force by the time you reawakened. The Guti were a barbarian people, a nation of many tribes. When he was young, Sargon himself had campaigned against them, driving them further into the mountains to the east. After Shulgi's second defeat, coalition of about a dozen tribes had swept in to take advantage of the power vacuum, terrorizing the city states of Sumer. Although Akkad had been burnt to the ground before that, the rebuilding city was razed again by the Gutians, scattering whatever people still lived there once and for all. For a while, the Gutians nominally ruled all of Sumeria, demanding tribute and grabbing kingship by the force of arms. Their reign soon collapsed on itself. Unused to 'civilized culture', they were also unable to administer the empire that they had stolen. As the riches of Sumeria declined under their stewardship, the Gutians began quarreling over spoils and power. Barely a hundred years after their arrival, the Gutian dynasty broke up and each tribe grabbed its own city to rule… and all of them were defeated soundly when Marduk forged the Babylonian Empire from the ashes of Akkadia.

    The God-King had apparently practiced a no-tolerance policy towards the Gutians – those that did not flee back east, from where they came, were put to the sword with no exceptions. The elderly, women, and children; none of them were spared. Any Gutians remaining so close to Babylon, Marduk’s seat of power, must have tremendous guts.

    “… they have tremendous balls.” Garam mutters, with a look of appreciation. You can understand that, as the Gutians were wreaking havoc on Mehlu’s ranks. “Should we attack now, O Dreadful One? This could be a good chance!” Looking at the battle again, you think that the Gutians would be retreating soon, with nothing but dead to show for it. They fought bravely, but Mehlu’s spear was darting out with terrible accuracy, wounding and killing the barbarians with ease. A large Gutian suddenly barrelled into Mehlu, knocking him from his horse. Raising a ridiculously large sword, he began attacking the Gieloth general, who barely had time to defend himself. A momentary flash of panic ran through Mehlu’s mind, and you could see the tendrils begin to writhe from his wounds…

    ***

    A. You order the cultists to begin the attack immediately. You might still be outnumbered with your cultists joining the fray, but the Gutians have fought well and you would like to aid them while they are still on the battlefield. You are confident that you will be able to pull off the assassination while Mehlu is distracted with the large Gutian.

    B. You hold off your attack for as long as possible. Your cultists are inexperienced, and throwing them into a battle when you are unsure of how the Gutians would react would be folly. The confusing melee that results would be the death of them. Once the Gutians have fled, you will attack while the wounded Babylonian soldiers are distracted by taking care of their dead brethren.
     
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  16. Smashing Axe Arcane Patron

    Smashing Axe
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    A - Will put down my thoughts later when I have time. Entertaining read as always treave.
     
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  17. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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  18. Storyfag Perfidious Pole Patron

    Storyfag
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    :rage:

    May every orifice of those who voted retarD be raped by a multi-headed gieloth! :decline:

    Also, voting B for now. Let's not get involved with the Gutians. A savage tribe, eh? Savage... smells of Naram.
     
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  19. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    Truly, a storyfag that gets less story is a terrible sight to behold.
     
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  20. ScubaV Prophet

    ScubaV
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    A - time to think with our stomach. Who cares if a few of Shulgi's cultists die? They're cockroaches anyway. We don't want to lose the chance to go Highlander on Mehlu. And perhaps we can forge a nice working relationship with the Gutians.
     
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  21. Smashing Axe Arcane Patron

    Smashing Axe
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    The guy with the sword is probably an immortal. It seems odd for a regular human to put the inhuman monstrosity off-guard.
     
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  22. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
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    For what it's worth, before we get sidetracked into discussing whose hidden hand is behind the Gutians, you can only sense humans, and one Gieloth in the battle - Ean would have mentioned any inhuman presence if he noticed them. No surprises like that here. Either he's very good at concealing his nature, like Sekhenun, or he's human.
     
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  23. Baltika9 Arcane

    Baltika9
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    So, he's either Naram/Shulgi or human, eh? Good to know.
     
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  24. newcomer Learned

    newcomer
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    A
     
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  25. TOME Cuckmaster General

    TOME
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    B - Let them fight it out and see what happens. Maybe we don't have to do anything.
     
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