Mass Effect Legendary Edition remaster trilogy

[Lacrymas]

I'd buy this for a dollar if it were on GOG.

 

[Avarize]

Jack was the outlet/diversion for SJWs. If it were made today, we just wouldn't have Miranda at all. There would be only Jack.

I Am Jack's Cold Sweat.

We also wouldn't have Jack's second model, she was actually kinda hot in ME3. She also mellowed out too much to channel their feminist rage.

 

[Popiel]

God, imagine how they'd approach something like Cerberus or the genophage.

Your meanin'...? I believe they would do these pretty much in the same way.

 

[CaffeineConquistador]

Jack was the outlet/diversion for SJWs. If it were made today, we just wouldn't have Miranda at all. There would be only Jack.

I Am Jack's Cold Sweat.

Losing Miranda wouldn’t affect much. She had the depth as a broken washing machine and too much “fuck you dad” for the story. In any reboot Jack would just be reduced to some 2-dimensional THOT selling her crotch sweat to simps.

 

[Silverfish]

Your meanin'...? I believe they would do these pretty much in the same way.

Not in today's climate. Back in ME1 and 2 (3 was pretty cartoony tbh), at least some care was taken to present both in more than one light. I can't see Bioware in its current state having a character like Mordin, probably ME2's most engaging and entertaining squaddie, actually defend the genophage reasonably well. I think the temptation to go full Mengele would be too strong.

 

[Caim]

Your meanin'...? I believe they would do these pretty much in the same way.

Not in today's climate. Back in ME1 and 2 (3 was pretty cartoony tbh), at least some care was taken to present both in more than one light. I can't see Bioware in its current state having a character like Mordin, probably ME2's most engaging and entertaining squaddie, actually defend the genophage reasonably well. I think the temptation to go full Mengele would be too strong.

The Krogan are patriarchical imperialists who think less of other races, killing them for fun. There's your justification.

 

[Popiel]

Your meanin'...? I believe they would do these pretty much in the same way.

Not in today's climate. Back in ME1 and 2 (3 was pretty cartoony tbh), at least some care was taken to present both in more than one light. I can't see Bioware in its current state having a character like Mordin, probably ME2's most engaging and entertaining squaddie, actually defend the genophage reasonably well. I think the temptation to go full Mengele would be too strong.

The Krogan are patriarchical imperialists who think less of other races, killing them for fun. There's your justification.

Exactly. Krogan are regularly and consistently depicted as truly abominable creatures which were useful only as a tool and who have a positive (narratively speakin’) future only if led by Wrex and only in that scenario. Do you remember how outlandishly stupid Wreav was/is? Yeah, that. There are no dilemmas here IMHO and NuBioWhore wouldn’t need to reach far to find good justifications for what was done – hell, they were presented in the trilogy already. I think you’re overreactin’ Silverfish.

Besides, it’s not like NuBW are completely, 100% above makin’ something decent and morally dubious. Whole Solas character is that, and I believe we can agree that Inquisition is new as opposed to old when it comes to BW.

EDIT: Come to think of it, Mass Effect trilogy was already woke enough to slip in the current year™. Everything that’s potentially problematic is properly (wokely) contextualised, Miranda bein’ chief example. She’s a product of patriarchal genetic engineerin’ from which she wishes and chooses to escape from, defyin’ two male authority figures (her father and TIM) in the process. Funnily enough I think it doesn’t apply to, perhaps, only Jack. Jack is a dishevelled caricature of a woman not because she wishes it but because she’s mentally damaged, that’s her way of escapin’ from the world which harms her. In context, body covered in tattoos and bitchy demeanour are presented as a negative outcome, not as a rational choice, and I think modern wokeworld wouldn’t want these kind of implications. What ME trilogy lacks from the point of view of current year humanoids are flamin’ gay and strong lesbian archetypal characters. I potentially see them addin’ these.

EDIT2: My God, I just realised that women in ME trilogy, save for Jack obviously, all look normal. Jesus, how long ago that was...

 

[good fucking shit happen]

What ME trilogy lacks from the point of view of current year humanoids are flamin’ gay and strong lesbian archetypal characters. I potentially see them addin’ these.

They had those in ME3, you just don't remember them because they were so forgettable compared to the other characters. STEVE! What a shame. Also both the new gay and lesbian were both brown and both were obvious diversity quota characters that had nothing going for them. They didn't represent a faction or alien species or an aspect of the setting like some, nor did they have strong personal stories. "Hello, Shepard, I'm Steve/Samantha and I'm a homosexual." That was about it.

 

[Caim]

EDIT2: My God, I just realised that women in ME trilogy, save for Jack obviously, all look normal. Jesus, how long ago that was...

On one hand we have Ashley Williams, who in ME1 and 2 was a no-nonsense soldier whose low rank for her accomplishments was not because she's a woman, but because her grandfather surrendered to an alien force. She wasn't much of a looker in the first two games and had dumb armor, but in the third she got botox, implants, a skimpy outfit and... people hated it. Ashley was turned into a bimbo, and not even in a hot fashion by going all the way. ME3 also had the lesbian (and robosexual) Traynor, who despite some of her odd moments (undressing and jumping into a possibly male Shepard's jacuzzi in the DLC without asking) was sensible as well.

But on the other hand ME2 had Samara the millenium-old milf who constantly had her tits out for no reason and ME3 had IGN "reporter" Jessica Chobot in a skimpy dress, who was by far one of the worst characters in the game. Oh, and Mass Effect 2 had the omnisexual Kelly Chambers, who was all but outright stated to have gotten an STD by fucking space dogs.

 

[Popiel]

They had those in ME3, you just don't remember them because they were so forgettable compared to the other characters.

Yeah, you're sort of correct, I only remembered the shuttle pilot guy (The Gay) and new... uuuhhhh... new Woman Who Tells You That You Have New Messages (The Lesbian) after I wrote my previous message.

 

[good fucking shit happen]

They had those in ME3, you just don't remember them because they were so forgettable compared to the other characters.

Yeah, you're sort of correct, I only remembered the shuttle pilot guy (The Gay) and new... uuuhhhh... new Woman Who Tells You That You Have New Messages (The Lesbian) after I wrote my previous message.

Those are the ones I mentioned. The only thing I remember about the lesbian is that she has a sonic toothbrush, that's her most memorable character trait. You can tell a lot of enthusiasm were poured into those two characters.

I would more worry about them removing problematic stuff, like that butt shot of Miranda in ME2, that seems like something obvious they would cut in the current year. I don't think they will add anything, as that would cost too much money for what is likely just a port to newer consoles and slightly higher resolution textures maybe.

They did remove a butt shot before in a patch if I recall correctly, it was just a generic pose one of your squadmates did in some map, leaning against a railing, but it showed too much of their butt so they removed it.

 

[Lacrymas]

The guy who had Carth from KotOR's voice (I swear I know his name, it just escapes me atm, Kaiden?) was also not particularly straight. I kinda thought he was the most sensible romance option of all of them. Here's the thing with that. If you are a serial killer, you don't want a partner who is okay with you having corpses in your basement. You don't know what they are capable of then. So Liara, the other sensible option, is kind of too much as a romantic partner, being an intergalactic space info broker and shit.

 

[Caim]

The guy who had Carth from KotOR's voice (I swear I know his name, it just escapes me atm, Kaiden?) was also not perticularly straight. I kinda thought he was the most sensible romance option of all of them. Here's the thing with that. If you are a serial killer, you don't want a partner who is okay with you having corpses in your basement. You don't know what they are capable of then. So Liara, the other sensible option, is kind of too much as a romantic partner, being an intergalactic space info broker and shit.

Kaiden, yes. You could dick him down in Mass Effect 3 as male Shepard. He's got an air of normalcy around him, yes. I mean, Garrus is far more popular but he's the Turian Punisher who may or may not become the Turian president one day. That's a wholly other can of worms to the guy who'll make you bacon for breakfast. Sure, he's a lot more exciting but if you are permantly stuck in the high-strung life you'll eventually snap.

 

[Lacrymas]

Don't get me wrong, it would be exciting for a few years, but if you are looking for a fairly normal family life, Liara is not it. Garrus is also not it, being Turian Batman without the cash. I've always thought Ashley was very boring and bland. You can't get with the millennium milf, Jacob cucks you, the fish dude dies, I have no idea what's up with Miranda, Jack doesn't seem like the family type and will leave you the moment she gets bored. So, yeah.

 

[Average Manatee]

I doubt Bioware is going to be putting any effort into this re-release. Changing characters requires work. Adding content requires work. No one wants to go through the hassle of trying to schedule all the voice actors back. EA bean counters aren't approving any of this shit.

 

[Lacrymas]

I expect better textures (i.e. downloading the fan-made texture packs from Nexusmods) and nothing else.

 

[J1M]

I still think one of you folks with a twitter account should get the mob riled up for a 5th ending that leads into the 5th game.

 

[The_Mask]

Don't get me wrong, it would be exciting for a few years, but if you are looking for a fairly normal family life, Liara is not it. Garrus is also not it, being Turian Batman without the cash. I've always thought Ashley was very boring and bland. You can't get with the millennium milf, Jacob cucks you, the fish dude dies, I have no idea what's up with Miranda, Jack doesn't seem like the family type and will leave you the moment she gets bored. So, yeah.

I like how everyone goes through the list like this and ends up thinking Tali's the best. :D

 

[Caim]

Don't get me wrong, it would be exciting for a few years, but if you are looking for a fairly normal family life, Liara is not it. Garrus is also not it, being Turian Batman without the cash. I've always thought Ashley was very boring and bland. You can't get with the millennium milf, Jacob cucks you, the fish dude dies, I have no idea what's up with Miranda, Jack doesn't seem like the family type and will leave you the moment she gets bored. So, yeah.

Miranda is infertile, you can discover this in Lair of the Shadow Broker. As for the rest of the cast... Vega doesn't seem like relationship material, Traynor is a mess, Cortez is an even bigger mess, Kelly is the sum of all messes and that's pretty much it. So yes, Kaidan might be the most vanilla option but vanilla is the most popular flavor for a reason.

I like how everyone goes through the list like this and ends up thinking Tali's the best.

Oh right, Tali. Well, she's cute but I'd rather not kill my girl just by touching her.

 

[vortex]

Performance in ME1 was really bad compared to ME2 and there wasn't a widescreen option. ME2 still has some glitches like when you go to cover, Shepard covers into something invisible. I hope they fix that and get all kind of quality of life improvement.

5th ending that leads into the 5th game.

I want that. Shepard gets resurrected in Lazarus project and lives as half human-half reaper in ME5.

 

[Lacrymas]

Don't get me wrong, it would be exciting for a few years, but if you are looking for a fairly normal family life, Liara is not it. Garrus is also not it, being Turian Batman without the cash. I've always thought Ashley was very boring and bland. You can't get with the millennium milf, Jacob cucks you, the fish dude dies, I have no idea what's up with Miranda, Jack doesn't seem like the family type and will leave you the moment she gets bored. So, yeah.

I like how everyone goes through the list like this and ends up thinking Tali's the best. :D

I totally forgot about her. Maybe she's ok too if you don't mind her having to take a cocktail of antibiotics every time you two want to touch.

Miranda is infertile, you can discover this in Lair of the Shadow Broker. As for the rest of the cast... Vega doesn't seem like relationship material, Traynor is a mess, Cortez is an even bigger mess, Kelly is the sum of all messes and that's pretty much it. So yes, Kaidan might be the most vanilla option but vanilla is the most popular flavor for a reason.

I also forgot about The Lesbian (tm) and The Gay (tm). Yeah, no. I don't think you can romance Vega? Kelly is bound to get pregnant with one of her 83 sexual partners, so that's a whole mess you have to deal with. But hey, if that's what you are into, all the power to you.

 

[Bad Sector]

Kelly is the sum of all messes

She's cute though.

 

[Nano]

I have no idea what's up with Miranda

Miranda's ME3 romance is only satisfying if she dies at the end of her quest, otherwise she just wishes you good luck and inexplicably walks off. Basically none of the romances with the non-squadmate characters are good.

 

[Avarize]

Kelly is the sum of all messes

She's cute though.

So are porn starlets but you wouldn't want to be with them.

 

[Sordid MCA/Prosper Hybryd]

I can already see signs indicating that the discussion is slowly but surely becoming a typical Mass Effect discussion.

inb4

Spoiler