Oblibion: The Comic

[Chefe]

I needed a new name for a character I was thinking about, a character that would be dull, annoying, stupid, and a nusiance. This character would be the bane of Ted's party. He would think he's hot shit when in reality he is nothing more than an asshat. Then I happened to peruse the Comic thread in the ES forums...

Anything coming from that crap website RPG Codex isn't worth seeing much less posting here for others to see.

My quest is over.

 

[VenomByte]

Clumsily butcher an innocent individual in full view of the guards and public ... and get invited to the secretive assassins society of the Dark Brotherhood.

And we've still got horses to do yet. Endless mockery potential there.

 

[Blacklung]

Oh and I would definitely suggest something explaining why goblins would set a tripwire by their food, while standing under the trap which could not possibly harm the tripee unless they were moving at lightspeed with no sense of surrounding. Perhaps even one explaining why a log rolling along at about an mm per second could possibly kill something which stands about 4 feet tall.

 

[Imbecile]

Oh and I would definitely suggest something explaining why goblins would set a tripwire by their food, while standing under the trap which could not possibly harm the tripee unless they were moving at lightspeed with no sense of surrounding. Perhaps even one explaining why a log rolling along at about an mm per second could possibly kill something which stands about 4 feet tall.

Its a poisoned log! Dont you know that you can poison weapons with the alchemy skill now, and that the log would come under the Blunt weapon category.

 

[yipsl]

I vote for some more classic morrowind default topics like "little secret", "background" and the oh so informative "my trade". There must be soil erosion in there somewhere . . . I would go a little lighter on the radiant bit. Don't forget about the realistic physics - you could have Ted start dropping things for entertainment purposes alone. Staff rocket launchers (the blunted ax is great), the lockpicking and persuasion minigames (tetris anyone?) etc. etc.

Anyway for the most part these have been quite funny.

Keep it up!

Hilarious how so many of the TES forumers can't laugh at their "perfect" game.

edit- don't forget that there is no joinable 9divines faction

-S

Here are some classic ideas to use to tweak Bethsoft's nose satirically. I posted them in a thread about the unicorn, after someone said they wanted a pegasus and somebody else remarked what's the use of a winged horse without levitation? That was a really great comment so I wondered what Bethsoft was going to do with this winged creature?

Then, I added:

Horse armor mod but no mounted combat!

Imps with wings that can't levitate!

A non-joinable Nine Divines.

Staves that only operate like rocket launchers!

Rocket launchers that can block but cannot whack!

Very odd all of that.

Makes me think the devs are whacked, or at least were dropped on their heads as infants.

This is a very funny strip. It needs to go permanently up on the Codex's main page. Perhaps make it a continuing feature lampooning game marketing and development. May I suggest doing The Witcher next? After all, I just saw their latest demo trailer and they're definitely making the claim that they have it all and are redefining RPGs. It actually makes me want to cut Pete Hines at Bethsoft some slack.

 

[kingcomrade]

Those wings are obviously vestigal traits.

 

[Lumpy]

In Morrowind, I don't think flying had anything to do with Levitation. It was a movement type which allowed creatures to go in any direction, hence the lack of purple circles. So some creatures will probably fly in Oblivion as well.

 

[Section8]

hehe:

I think the comics are humorous and do a good job of poking fun at the aspects of TES4 that those who read every preview and interview are tired of hearing hyped (Patrick Stewart, RAI, etc.).

Still, the Chefe-fanboys at RPGCodex are a little nauseating:

They loves ya! They can'ts get enough of ya! Embrace your destiny as the ESF Alpha, Chefe!

There are FAR more people saying that the TES forum is full of fanboys trashing the comic to defend TES4 than there are people actually trashing the comic (maybe 1 person did this?).

Example of a person implying everyone here is condemning the comic or not finding the humor in it (a statement contrary to fact, though I can't tell whether this is simple self-deception or a flat-out lie to ingratiate the poster with other posters):

Hilarious how so many of the TES forumers can't laugh at their "perfect" game.

The motivation for all this appears to be the need to feel like one is taking a courageous, noble stand against the dumb masses.

Ah well, I guess I can give in to intellectual self-gratification as well as those folks (false humility and self-deprecation alert!). Witness the below wonderful RPGCodex Post (I admit I blatantly cherry-picked it to insinuate that all RPGCodex posters are elitist, egomaniacal, and snobbish):

See, Chefe, the 8-year-old-level-of-intelligence-and-grammar-marketing-demographic has to be treated with kid gloves (pun intended). So, the retarded "Waht's Ur Caractur's Naem Gonna B?" threads are for the retards there. If they locked those threads, might as well close down the forum.

Guess Section8 has a Chefe-belt-buckle imprint on the forehead.

<looks up> Chefe darling, I'm not going to put it in my mouth again until you tell that youngster what's what. Or at least teach him some reading comprehension.

 

[Rat Keeng]

Most of 'em thought it was funny. Not Frankie of course, he's taken the rational position of instantly comdemning anything coming out of the Codex, regardless of what it might be and whether he's seen it or not.

 

[Chefe]

Here are some classic ideas to use to tweak Bethsoft's nose satirically. I posted them in a thread about the unicorn, after someone said they wanted a pegasus and somebody else remarked what's the use of a winged horse without levitation? That was a really great comment so I wondered what Bethsoft was going to do with this winged creature?

(IMAGE)

I don't make these sprites myself. They're ripped from pre-existing games in the 8-bit and 16-bit eras.

This is a very funny strip. It needs to go permanently up on the Codex's main page. Perhaps make it a continuing feature lampooning game marketing and development. May I suggest doing The Witcher next? After all, I just saw their latest demo trailer and they're definitely making the claim that they have it all and are redefining RPGs. It actually makes me want to cut Pete Hines at Bethsoft some slack.

Woah, hey calm down there. It's just a little strip spoofing Oblivion. I know nothing about the Witcher, except that it's based off of some book published in a language I don't understand.

Pete Hines is a sadistic idiot. Nothing anyone could do would make me want to cut him some slack.

 

[Chefe]

<looks up> Chefe darling, I'm not going to put it in my mouth again until you tell that youngster what's what. Or at least teach him some reading comprehension.

Ghey.

I don't care who you are, but if you post on the TES boards you have no reason in heaven or hell to be calling ANYONE a fanboy. Well, unless you post somewhere else and only have an account there to poke the bears occasionally and later make fun of it. Yea.

Most of 'em thought it was funny. Not Frankie of course, he's taken the rational position of instantly comdemning anything coming out of the Codex, regardless of what it might be and whether he's seen it or not.

I hate that little mother fucker. If it was possible for there to be a bane to the TES boards, that shiteating cocksucker would be it. I'm making him the uncombatable horse.

 

[Master Thief]

This comic is the best thing Ive read about Oblivion in a long time and I feel that its news worthy.

We shouldnt value previews showering praise on Oblivion without any substantive information.
The previews that are put up on those gaming sites by those so called gaming journalists
are just an extention of Microsoft's and Bethesda's Advertising and Promotion department.

I felt it was so news worthy that I put it up on the main page of my site Blood and Shadows.

http://bloodandshadows.com/

Good work Chefe.

 

[Twinfalls]

more comic, less pointless yap about comic plz.

 

[Lowry]

more comic, less pointless yap about comic plz.

Agreed, hurry it up Chefe...

 

[Bosco]

What happened to "Hey, you!"?

 

[Chefe]

I've released the official trailer. Any other trailer you may have seen was illegal and not fully optimized.

Official Oblibion Trailer:

 

[Sovy Kurosei]

OMG TEH ILLEGALL TRAYLAR!!11!11!oneoneoneone!11

 

[Section8]

That's super cool, Sovy. You just need to put the Soule title music in there. Are you going to go further with it and have wacky sprite animations?

 

[Chefe]

shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

 

[FrancoTAU]

More comics = Good. Frankie from the TES boards = Bad. Comics + Frankie = Great?

 

[Sovy Kurosei]

I tried putting music but Flash 8 doesn't support MIDI format for some very, very strange reason. Unless you are making animations for cell phones. I was going to use an MP3 instead but that would have added ~400 kb at the minimum. I downloaded some programs to convert MIDI into MP3 but the quality went to hell and the filesize skyrocketed by a hundredfold (!) and that just wouldn't do.

As for continuing it, nah. Copying someone elses work isn't rewarding or fair and I don't think I can put in the energy to make an original and funny sprite comic.

 

[Section8]

In the first frame he's hitting the ninja with the wrong side of the axe. Otherwise, keep 'em coming.

 

[Chefe]

In the first frame he's hitting the ninja with the wrong side of the axe. Otherwise, keep 'em coming.

No, no it's the right side. The blade's dull, so he still raises his "blunt" skill when he uses it.

Don't worry, Ted will level up sooner or later.

Edit: Do you think I should have him smacking foes with the wrong side? Sounds kind of funny now that I think about it...

Edit Again: Hehe, I changed it. Thanks for the suggestion, now it really IS a blunt weapon.

 

[Perishiko]

In the first frame he's hitting the ninja with the wrong side of the axe. Otherwise, keep 'em coming.

No, no it's the right side. The blade's dull, so he still raises his "blunt" skill when he uses it.

Don't worry, Ted will level up sooner or later.

Edit: Do you think I should have him smacking foes with the wrong side? Sounds kind of funny now that I think about it...

Edit Again: Hehe, I changed it. Thanks for the suggestion, now it really IS a blunt weapon.

Oh no!

I think you have to use the blunt side of the axe untill it's in the blade skill.

I must get more of the Oblivion!

How much are you getting paid to do this? (Or are you? With the "Illegal" screens that i see here, it seems like you're the rogue Bethesda worker everyone's talking about...)

 

[HanoverF]

Put some pants on that red ninja