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Resident Evil Village - now featuring giant vampire MILFs

Drakortha

Liturgist
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
1,873
Location
Terra Australis
The whole thing looks more like RE: Bloodborne edition, to me. Like they just took that theme and put it in 1st person perspective. Not original at all. And that gameplay? Holy shit it's worse than RE3:Remake! I saw the exact same animation being used on the werewolf monsters as were used on the zombies in that game, when you blow them up with a grenade. VILLAGE is nothing but recycled GARBAGE!
 
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Generic-Giant-Spider

Guest
Let me tell you what they need to do. I think we can all agree at this point RE8 sucks and games like RE8 will end up killing RE and burning the body if not stopped.

They need to realize nobody gives a shit about an RE deathmatch battle royale game or whatever the fuck and go down into the Capcom stockades to bring to surface whoever was doing the Outbreak games and give them a bunch of money and a lot of cocaine to bring a new Outbreak out. Co-op multiplayer classic style RE where you and other people are trying to escape some ABC-virus calamity in some totally-not-Raccoon City through a combination of firepower, puzzle solving, avoidance, and all the good stuff you remember from those games of yore. You can make it over-the-shoulder as long as it feels like RE2 Remake in gameplay. If you do make it over-the-shoulder then make a complimentary Raid Mode like they had in the Revelations games because that mode is literally a better Mercenaries and I am shamefully addicted to it. There you go, Capcom now has their multiplayer boner for RE satisfied and thoroughly drained.

Then you get every single person that did REmake 1. Every single one of them. Even the people that just got on the "special thanks" for delivering coffee. If anyone from 2002 to now has died from that team, then get their next of kin or something. You get everyone that did REmake 1, then you dig up all the ideas from RE 1.5 and make that game correctly. Good old classic RE formula, heavily atmospheric, gorgeous shadows/backgrounds, all the things you remembered and love with new twists and turns and a whole new/revitalized experience of what was once cutting room floor material but had a ton of promise to it.

BAM. 30 million sales, 98 metacritic, everyone becomes a simp for Capcom once more and all because of an unlikely hero found in the bowels of RPG Codex. I take full credit, but keep me anonymous.
 

SumDrunkGuy

Guest


I have officially temporarily returned to the fatty pink-haired degenerate's pastime. I only do this because my love for Resident Evil is so deep-seated.
 

Tacgnol

Shitlord
Patron
Joined
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Messages
1,871,883
Codex 2016 - The Age of Grimoire Grab the Codex by the pussy RPG Wokedex Strap Yourselves In Codex Year of the Donut Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag. Pathfinder: Wrath I helped put crap in Monomyth
It seems alright to me. Opens up a bit more when you get to the castle and get a couple keys which let you choose which mask/sister to pursue first.

Definitely has a bit of an identity crisis about whether it's RE4 or RE7.

Ironically I've been caught more off guard by jump scares in this one than RE7 as you were constantly expecting them in RE7, but in this one they are more sporadic which means you expect them less.
 

Generic-Giant-Spider

Guest
I have a theory about Ethan. No it's nothing to do with this retarded plot but his entire existence is to make you love Chris more.

See, Capcom in my theory always wanted Chris to be THE Man of RE. When you see Chris, you're supposed to be happy and excited and shoot your gun into the air in celebration. That has never happened. Now don't think I'm shitting on Chris because I'm not, but he has always been merely "liked," never loved. What happened in RE1? Most people picked Jill and most people ended up loving Jill and why wouldn't you? She starts off with a gun, has the lockpick because she's the master of unlocking, and has two more inventory slots. She also comes with Barry as a tag team partner who leaves you ammo and rescues you from deathtraps. Jill is basically Resident Evil 1 when people think "main character" in that game.

Now think to Resident Evil 5. Chris gets his big game at long last because Capcom was seeing how much Leon blew up in popularity. The people loved Leon, so they try to recapture that fire with Chris. They even have Chris annihilate a portion of Africa to make the transition of love even easier... but what happened? People came away from that game loving Wesker more. Chris punched a boulder, Wesker carried the game.

Then you look beyond Resident Evil and see with Capcom's cross-over fighting games they had Chris as one of the premiere Resident Evil representatives. In the ill-fated Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite they had the testicular fortitude to bring Chris back as one of the two RE characters even though in Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 he was definitely not anywhere near as popular as Wesker and was likely one of the least picked characters both casually and competitively. I know when I played that game you actually forgot Chris was in the game from how rare it was to see him.

So finally after decades of failing to have Chris catch fire in his own franchise and in dream cross-over events they did the only thing they could: they made a character that was so bland, so boring, so fucking trash that when you did see Chris and had him as the one familiar face from RE in this new generation you breathe a sigh of great relief. Seeing Chris is like restoring some order to the world of Resident Evil. They don't have Chris sharing the title with best Resident Evil character ever Jill Valentine or the infinitely more popular Leon Kennedy. All Chris has to do is offer a reprieve from the faceless goon that is Ethan. These games, RE7, RE8, it's all just one big vehicle to make you love Chris.

Well, do you?

Do you love Chris?
 

SumDrunkGuy

Guest
No body loves Chris, ever. He will always play second fiddle to Leon. Now Jill, MMMMM. Everybody wants themself a Jill sandwich.
 

SumDrunkGuy

Guest
The pecking order of RE's mainstays has always been:

#1: Jill
2# :Leon











3#; Claire

%4: errybody else

That is resi evil fact. Capcom has not been following the pecking order created by resi evil fans.

I would seriously die happy if crapcom ever made a resi game starring Jill & Leon.
 

Generic-Giant-Spider

Guest
Anyone with a history in Resident Evil games knows Jill Valentine is the best character in the whole series. But it has to be pre-RE5 Jill. I don't know what the fuck they did to her in that game, it was dumb. Spencer Mansion/Nemesis Jill is what you want your RE protagz to be.
 

SumDrunkGuy

Guest
Anyone with a history in Resident Evil games knows Jill Valentine is the best character in the whole series. But it has to be pre-RE5 Jill. I don't know what the fuck they did to her in that game, it was dumb. Spencer Mansion/Nemesis Jill is what you want your RE protagz to be.

Agreed mostly, but RE5 Jill was still Julia Voth. Julia Voth Jill always gets my approval. I would often times lose that boss fight on purpose just to be dominated by Jill. I love her that much.
 

Drakortha

Liturgist
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
1,873
Location
Terra Australis
What is with this Annabelle crap in VILLAGE? Who the heck are they making these games for, MOVIE AUDIENCES???? I'm going to be sick!

Why the fuck does Chris look like Ben Affleck's Bruce Wayne??? For the same reason probably! Crapcom just looks to Hollywood for all their ideas now. Imagine getting all your ideas from Hollywood movies? Now they must really be scraping the bottom of the shit barrel.
 
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SumDrunkGuy

Guest
What is with this Annabelle crap in VILLAGE? Who the heck are they making these games for, MOVIE AUDIENCES???? I'm going to be sick!

Why the fuck does Chris look like Ben Affleck's Bruce Wayne??? For the same reason probably! Crapcom just looks to Hollywood for all their ideas now. Imagine getting all your ideas from Hollywood movies? Now they must really scraping the bottom of the shit barrel.

Game is out fatty and people are having funsies playing it. Bew hew, better quick write a butthurt blog discussing how hurt you are, NERD.
 

Drakortha

Liturgist
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
1,873
Location
Terra Australis
What is with this Annabelle crap in VILLAGE? Who the heck are they making these games for, MOVIE AUDIENCES???? I'm going to be sick!

Why the fuck does Chris look like Ben Affleck's Bruce Wayne??? For the same reason probably! Crapcom just looks to Hollywood for all their ideas now. Imagine getting all your ideas from Hollywood movies? Now they must really scraping the bottom of the shit barrel.

Game is out fatty and people are having funsies playing it. Bew hew, better quick write a butthurt blog discussing how hurt you are, NERD.

You're just gay for Leon. It's okay, I understand. But don't worry you'll get to play as your favorite gayboi again soon.
 

SumDrunkGuy

Guest
What is with this Annabelle crap in VILLAGE? Who the heck are they making these games for, MOVIE AUDIENCES???? I'm going to be sick!

Why the fuck does Chris look like Ben Affleck's Bruce Wayne??? For the same reason probably! Crapcom just looks to Hollywood for all their ideas now. Imagine getting all your ideas from Hollywood movies? Now they must really scraping the bottom of the shit barrel.

Game is out fatty and people are having funsies playing it. Bew hew, better quick write a butthurt blog discussing how hurt you are, NERD.

You're just gay for Leon. It's okay, I understand. But don't worry you'll get to play as your favorite gayboi again soon.

I'm not the one simping for a series I hate, bitch boi
 

Drakortha

Liturgist
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
1,873
Location
Terra Australis
I'm not the one simping for a series I hate, bitch boi

I'm not simping for anything I hate. If I hated RE I wouldn't be here, but Crapcom continue to disregard what the actual RE fans want and instead give us this Annabelle Bloodborne shit that nobody asked for and keep giving fan service to RE4 wimps like you. It's not my fault they completely fumbled the ball with the recent RE2 (but RE3 especially). This VILLAGE garbage is an even bigger fumble. I wanted those games to be good and a return to form but Crapcom just don't have what it takes to do it right. It's sad!
 

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