Rate this post butthurt if you too want to be exempted from the rough consensus!
Infinitron has secretly (even to himself!) promised me he will update the review to reflect that you disagree with
Prime Junta's useful purpose of a review - if you rate the following post butthurt.
The only problem being that some of us on this site,
Prime Junta apparently self-excluded, actually play RPGs,
Infinitron, have played them for years, long before these hand-wringing advertisements you and PJ pass off as reviews, and can therefore grasp an RPGs quality in the same manner that anyone with a passing interest in any hobby can separate the wheat from the chaff.
I've been thinking about what you've been saying,
duanth123.
Thing is, I think there's more to a review than just "separating the wheat from the chaff." If all you want to do is dump things in two piles, "shit" and "not shit," that's pretty easy. All you have to do is draw a line in the sand somewhere.
My take is that the state of the cRPG industry in general is fairly dismal. Even the best games, past and present, have signficant quantities of shit in them. Conversely, there are lots of games there which aren't all that much fun, ultimately, but do
something right.
What I want to do when I write reviews is reflect this. If a game does something right -- relative to the state of the market, not relative to some Platonic ideal or a hazy memory of some game you played as a kid -- I want to describe and encourage that. If it does something wrong, I want to describe and discourage that.
I also want to inform: give enough information about the game, my own experiences, and my own preferences that whoever is reading will have something they can use to make up their own mind.
In re Tyranny, I stand by my claim that it does worldbuilding and story branching much better than the general state of the market (and by my claim that it does gameplay worse, much worse compared to its nearest sibling, Pillars of Eternity). If all you do is "shit/not shit" you end up with a Roxorian vomit (or Decadoan
) that'll get you brofists from people who already agree with you but do precious little else.
I don't see what useful purpose that would serve.
Your problem,
Prime Junta (and as it just so happens your fuckboy partner
Infinitron's complex as well, only with newsposts!) is that you think a review should serve a useful purpose.
Which, barring some ulterior motive (in your case, an unconscious one, as at this point I am convinced you cannot recognize your own nonsense, Platonic ideal, wtf) would be an entirely redundant statement, seeing as the dictionary definition of review:
a critical article or report, as in a periodical, on a book, play, recital,or the like; critique; evaluation.
wholly incorporates its intended function and purpose.
NO ONE, and I stress this, NO ONE writes like this with the sole intention of providing just a "review":
That Tyranny accomplishes this with only a few situations that don’t quite make sense or give you the freedom of choice you would expect is a remarkable achievement, and one that all but guarantees the game a lasting appeal with a cult following.
o, a deep, original, and atmospheric world confidently written and executed, story branching to make a grown man weep, original concepts explored in depth and integrated to the game mechanics and story, beautiful visuals and music…
Tyranny has the makings of a cult classic. The depth and originality of the setting, the integration of the most unique features of the setting into the gameplay, the presentation, and the dizzying variety of adventures to choose give it replayability and lasting appeal that few games can manage.
The best RPG of this decade? Nine more years will tell, but for now, yes.
You may consider this some sort of writer's flourish, but they're no less fucking baffling lies and gushing, whorish hyperbole on the level of that idiot who considered DA2 the best RPG of the decade. Oh wait, that last quote was from his review. Did you notice?
I'm fine that in your sheltered mind, where The Witcher 2 is your go-to contemporary reference for C&C, you believe Tyranny does it well.
I'm fine that you consider original what in your own review you provide several plagiarized sources for. Mazalan and Black Company are great!
I'm fine that, to you, world-building doesn't require verisimilitude. That's what gives you and
Infinitron the strength to haunt every thread about this fucking review and laugh at the pedants who realized you don't understand the difference between certain major historical periods.
I can accept that your useful purpose is to help Obsidian stay in business whilst gently coaxing them like the sweetly retarded young children they have, wave by wave, elevated from intern status to develop their games, they are.
But what I don't want, and the reason I find your reviews the ass cancer of this site, secretly killing us, yet only registering as mere butt-hurt in the eyes of the by-now truly disaffected, is to have YOUR consumer whore bullshit even slightly appear to be representative of what I or others think. Which we both know it very well will, the hypersecond Infini slavishly updates our Steam curator page and the second past this review was embarrassingly strewn across the front page of our esteemed website.
Myself laughably recalling the
Vault Dweller review of Oblivion that was willing to call bullshit. Willing to real talk a developer that had lost its way. And not even the one responsible for games like MOTB or KOTOR2.
...
SO LET IT BE KNOW
DUANTH123 HAS BROKEN FROM THE ROUGH CONSENSUS
DUANTH123 DISAGREES WITH PRIME JUNTA'S REVIEW AND WOULD RATE IT 1/10 (with the 1 to serve the useful purpose of innervating Obsidian to climb higher! #useful purpose)
Infinitron, would you please update
Prime Junta's useful purpose to indicate that I disagree with it?