Vault Dweller
Commissar, Red Star Studio
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2003
- Messages
- 28,044
How many options do you have when asking for a raise, for example?You're in control because you can decide what and how you are going to say and do. You're not limited to three arbitrary options.
Before you go and ask for that raise you have no idea how your boss would respond, unless he talks about such things frequently which is rarely the case.You're in control because you have enough information to make informed decisions. You don't have to guess blindly.
As a veteran of many negotiations, I'll give you a scenario that happened to me once. You ask for a raise, your boss nods, calmly asks for your reasons, you explain, but turns out it was a trap and he's really pissed with your insolence (asking for a raise instead of waiting to be randomly chosen for performance review which isn't an annual thing) and asked you for your reasons so that you can dig yourself deeper. Still in control? Now not only do you have that raise to worry about but your entire relationship with your boss. At this point you have 3 main options:You're in control because you can read her non-verbal reactions and adjust your behavior accordingly, on the fly. You don't have to stick with your initial choice.
- aggressive (stay the course and keep pushing for that raise)
- neutral (attack the reaction, there's no harm or insult in asking for a raise)
- Olympic backpedaling (claim a misunderstanding)
In real life you have 3 seconds to decide which course of action to pursue while your red-faced boss is getting further worked up.
Sales 101: as long as a person is talking to you, you can close the deal. The problem is you're always guessing because you don't have the person's personality chart. People who are better at it are better at guessing.You're not in control only as much as the girl's own agency goes. She may well have made up her mind before you approach her - but no "right answers" will help you with that, and no "wrong answers" will harm you.
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