The Elder Scrolls Online

[John_Blazze]

The only real ESO End Game content anyone sane should care about is farming "Creepy Corners Of Prestigious KKKodex Magazine" dungeon for brofists, given out to most hilarious rant-posts.

I expect Oblivion-esque level of entertainment.

 

[Scruffy]

i'm gonna play it as Khajiit backstabber.

furry homo detected

 

[Akratus]

If an official rpgcodex guild is made in teso, I will find out where you all live and murder you.

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I mean complain about it on the internet

 

[Bahamut]

If an official rpgcodex guild is made in teso, I will find out where you all live and murder you.

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I mean complain about it on the internet

"After I kill you, I will rape your corpse. Don't worry. I'll be gentle."

 

[Crispy]

Irenaeus and I are going to start a strictly human-only guild of our own. We will claim Codexian heritage, but our aim is not necessarily to infringe upon the "main" or other Codexian TESO guilds.

Our goal will be to attempt to humor ourselves by attacking, on sight, any and all non-humans in the game that are not fellow Codexians (and those will only be respected by a non-aggression pact). We will not be above scale-shaming, tail-stomping, ear-pulling and various other ridiculing of the furries, scalies, and elf-humpers in the game. We hope to cause sufficient amounts of butthurt without getting ourselves banned and/or sued.

Codexia Fidelis! Purity in Tamriel! Death to the non-humans!

© Copyright Crispy Productions, Ltd. A Division of Crispy Enterprises, Intl. All Rights Reserved.

 

[Irenaeus]

Deus Vult!

 

[Scroo]

Seriously though, it sounds like a funny idea. Would be even better if the game would feature full loot upon death

 

[Crispy]

I have no idea what the PvP loot rules are, if there are any.

And the truth is we'll probably get pwned with regularity, but that'll be part of the fun. As we're lying there dying our insults will still fly majestically!

 

[Kem0sabe]

shit, now i want to join this guild... make it happen crispy!

 

[Crispy]

The wheels on this are already turning, my friend. How glorious our failure will be!

 

[Akratus]

So Pelinal is the spiritual protege of your guild? He literally ran on the blood of elves. When he first met the Khajiit, he thought they were elves, so he started killing them. Then he realized the may not be elves after all. He thought he'd better kill some more just to be sure.

 

[Crispy]

Nice. You sound educated in TES lore. Would you like to be our Loremaster?

 

[Akratus]

It's just a little bit I picked up from /v/, who masturbate furiously to TES lore.

I wouldn't fit the role of Loremaster in any way at all. So of course I would say yes. But I'm not going to play the game sorry to say.

 

[Irenaeus]

This guild is getting even better than I thought.

 

[Bubbles]

Less than 24 hours until Early Access!

There's a Skyrim-TESO comparison video out for Windhelm:



Holy fuck the TESO version looks absolutely stunning.

 

[Hoaxmetal]

So, Bubbles is going to be Gaudaost of Teso eh?

 

[Angthoron]

Less than 24 hours until Early Access!

There's a Skyrim-TESO comparison video out for Windhelm:



Holy fuck the TESO version looks absolutely stunning.

So uhm. Isn't this supposed to be taking place a thousand years before Skyrim or something?

How is the city in better condition a thousand years ago? Why does shit look more advanced? Is this another Star Wars "Yeah technology didn't advance in a thousand years" bullshit? What's going onAWUGHWAGHDROOL

 

[Contrite]

Less than 24 hours until Early Access!

There's a Skyrim-TESO comparison video out for Windhelm:



Holy fuck the TESO version looks absolutely stunning.

So uhm. Isn't this supposed to be taking place a thousand years before Skyrim or something?

How is the city in better condition a thousand years ago? Why does shit look more advanced? Is this another Star Wars "Yeah technology didn't advance in a thousand years" bullshit? What's going onAWUGHWAGHDROOL

It is the magic of the Ancients. Before a great Magic War destroyed everything, and renamed all the classes to the ones we found in Arena.

 

[Kem0sabe]

I only have the 3 day early access, so thats 1st i think.

 

[Bubbles]

Slightly more than 12 hours to go!

Here are videos of the quests to become a Vampire and a Werewolf. What happens in these videos is truly amazing and goes far beyond the usual quality of TES storytelling -- if you're still on the fence about TESO, I URGE you to check out this cool footage:





If you're already planning on playing TESO, I recommend waiting until you can experience these quests for yourself in the game; you'll be blown away.

 

[Night Goat]

Is Bubbles a plant, or a parody of one? The world may never know.

 

[Irenaeus]

Wait, there are quests? I thought we would only gather and kill non-humans. I can't take this bad writting, yo

 

[Bubbles]

After careful consideration, I have decided to post a video of THE FINAL BOSS FIGHT in this thread. I feel that watching this video may deprive the adventurers of Tamriel of one of the richest and most stimulating experiences in the entire game; on the other hand, this fight is pure, unadulterated awesome, and deserves to be viral on youtube and trending on twitter for all eternity:

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[Scroo]

Seriously Bubbles, this is getting embarrassing, no matter if you are trolling or serious.

 

[Dwemer Puzzle Box]

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