The Mass Effect 3/BioWare Thread

[Angthoron]

 

[hoopy]

Reaper doomsday device.

 

[Freelance Henchman]

This is how Mass Effect 4 will be anyway.

 

[sgc_meltdown]

 

[racofer]

*uninstalls all three mass effect games*
*deletes save files*
*deletes iso images*

 

[Angthoron]

Holy shit, they even have the holstering animation. Take that, BioWare.

 

[sgc_meltdown]

*uninstalls all three mass effect games*
*deletes save files*
*deletes iso images*

 

[Andyman Messiah]

...aaaand 'set as desktop background'. Alright thx, Racky.

 

[RPGMaster]

Would have been funnier if he was photoshopped onto female Shepard's body.

 

[Oesophagus]

*uninstalls all three mass effect games*
*deletes save files*
*deletes iso images*

Didn't install ME3 in the first place

I was going to remove this from inventory, but then I took an RK47 Let's play to the knee.

 

[Xor]

Smudboy's plot analysis:

Oh man, this is great.

 

[Xor]

Do we need a tutorial at the beginning of the game to show every pointless detail that's happened since the last game, including her rank change?

Well, that's generally the point of an introduction. You have some expository dialog to discuss what the characters have been up to since the last entry in the series, as well as any changes that have taken place that might otherwise confuse people. Nothing is explained in the ME3 opening. I only have a vague idea of how Shepard ended up on Earth because of comments by Bioware about what happened after Arrival. Explaining these things isn't pointless, and their absence just serves to confuse people.

This is as dumb as the biodrones. Pick at meaningless but obvious details while the huge in your face idiocy escapes you.

What huge idiocy did he miss? All the video does is analyze the opening tutorial. Judging from the guy's other videos, he'll probably do an analysis of the entire game eventually.

Surprised no one ever picked up on the Last Starfighter line. What do we do now? We die.That's what's going on there, they call him in because everything else has failed and they finally are ready to listen to reason but it's too late.

Probably chickened out on using it to full effect and not the best way to start a game, but it's pretty obvious that's what they were going for. Then they chickened out. Just like they do with every decent possibility, or more likely they realize they have to change the things they stole around to avoid a lawsuit and it completely kills its impact.

I'm not even sure what you're trying to say here. The opening is just a reference to the Last Starfighter, and they didn't make it blatant to avoid a lawsuit? I guess they might have used that as inspiration, but I really don't see it. I see that scene more as an amalgam of action movie cliches, trying to be over the top as possible to establish Shepard as the hero.

 

[racofer]

I have to say that Skyrim looks like a better game after playing ME3, for some reason.

We have a saying here where I live, called the "Goat Principle", which probably explains why I'm feeling like that.

 

[racofer]

 

[Percy]

The ending of mass effect 3 is like watching porn and having the cumshot at the end replaced by the guy stretching his asshole apart or something.

 

[Oriebam]

The ending of mass effect 3 is like watching porn and having the cumshot at the end replaced by the guy stretching his asshole apart or something.

and in that porno they used inappropriate music and kept zooming in on male faces, for some reason

 

[MaroonSkein]

Hey guys, I have a friend whose friend's uncle works at BioWare, and he told me what the DLC ending is gonna be like. To achieve it, you'll have to romance Anderson and the Illusive Man on the same playthrough. After a passionate harem scene, their mutual understanding born of their forbidden love will make a fourth button appear at the end. Pressing it will result in a pink explosion that turns both organic and synthetic life forms pansexual. Then the credits roll. After the credits, if you have enough war assets, the Harbinger will possesses Tali when she's having sex with Shepard because the Reapers are curious about love. Tali won't wear a mask in this scene, by the way, and her face will have a new design based on the most popular piece of fan art out there.

 

[Oesophagus]

Hey guys, I have a friend whose friend's uncle works at BioWare, and he told me what the DLC ending is gonna be like. To achieve it, you'll have to romance Anderson and the Illusive Man on the same playthrough. After a passionate harem scene, their mutual understanding born of their forbidden love will make a fourth button appear at the end. Pressing it will result in a pink explosion that turns both organic and synthetic life forms pansexual. Then the credits roll. After the credits, if you have enough war assets, the Harbinger will possesses Tali when she's having sex with Shepard because the Reapers are curious about love. Tali won't wear a mask in this scene, by the way, and her face will have a new design based on the most popular piece of fan art out there.

called it

 

[Sceptic]

Well, that's generally the point of an introduction. You have some expository dialog to discuss what the characters have been up to since the last entry in the series, as well as any changes that have taken place that might otherwise confuse people. Nothing is explained in the ME3 opening.

Not to mention that Vega is kinda just dropped into the middle of it. I was like "who"? And then there's mention of going to the committee. "What committee"?

Not exactly the best way to set up the intro of part 3 of the trilogy.

 

[Oesophagus]

I'm guessing they will try to say that the kid is shepards son in the DLC, and he is half organic half synthetic because of cerberus or some ridiculous thing. That's the only way the kid makes any sense except the indoctrination idea

Wait, so they're going to change the actual ending? I thought that they were just going to release some cutscenes that show what happened after the end.

If it was just this one thing I might think I was stretching or it was coincidence but they did the same thing with the whole plot of all three games. Every single thing comes from somewhere else except a few WTF moments that probably come from something I don't recognize.

I honestly can't tell. The writing is so bad that even if it was initially ripped off, it's a clusterfuck in the games.

 

[Angthoron]

If it was just this one thing I might think I was stretching or it was coincidence but they did the same thing with the whole plot of all three games. Every single thing comes from somewhere else except a few WTF moments that probably come from something I don't recognize.

That's why Mass Effect is horrible. That's why I have zero respect for even many of the negative reviewers because there's a barrage of this throughout the whole series that only a blind person can't see. Instead we get this guy who not only ignores the obvious but can't even understand the few parts of the writing that do make any sense.

Well, that's just it though - the players - and the consumers in general these days - are extremely culturally unaware, essentially for many Mass Effect is one of the only encounters with sci-fi they've so far had in their lives.

I recently had a conversation about this with a friend, who ended up admitting that she likes Mass Effect perhaps just because she doesn't know any better sci-fi, so I immediately brought up a list of good sci-fi to watch and read. Then she said but ah, I meant that in gaming form, there's not much sci-fi IN SPACE there, is there? So I had to pull up a list again, of maybe two dozen games from just the past decade or so - which had her extremely surprised and eventually irritated with the gaming press for never mentioning any of these titles. So yeah, I can actually understand why this is the case with a normal gamer - come home from work/school, fire up the game, have fun, never knowing there's better gameplay elements, better design, better plot or better everything. But here's where the gaming press commits a heinous sin. Instead of comparing against previous titles, or at least mentioning them, what you get is "judge on its own merit", which is just fucking wonderful because you turn it into either a shit-sling-fest or into a suck-a-dick-athon.

"But Ang", you might say, "Homeworld/Ground Control/I-War/System Shock is a strategy/sim/FPS game and Mass Effect is a TPS, they're different genres, why should you talk about different genres in a review?" Well fuck you, that's why. Maybe you'll find something you like better. Maybe cursing at a bunch of corvettes and frigates raping your mothership in the docking ports is infinitely more entertaining than beating off to your waifu in Mass Effect. JUST FUCKING MAYBE. Tastes evolve, motherfuckers.

Fucking gaming press, ignorant, sabotaging, slobbering bunch of retards.

 

[Commissar Draco]

*uninstalls all three mass effect games*
*deletes save files*
*deletes iso images*

Didn't install ME3 in the first place

I was going to remove this from inventory, but then I took an RK47 Let's play to the knee.

RK47 is bro, he was buttsexed for our sins.

 

[CrustyBot]

http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/topic/323/index/10635792

We are currently trying to organize the delivery of a mass of cupcakes to Bioware's studio in Edmonton. All the cupcakes will be divided into equal parts Red, Blue and Green colors... but they will all taste exactly the same. If you'd like to participate, please check out the thread below and let us know.

This coming week, we should send Bioware boxes upon boxes of a dozen cupcakes

. We are taking ideas as to what sort of notes we should have attached on each box. Some possibilities include:


- "No matter what color you choose, they all taste the same";
- "No matter what color you choose, it's all vanilla ;-D"
- "We rage because we love"

Finally bros, we can express our discontent with BioWare. By buying them cupcakes!

I get that it's meant to be light-hearted, but no matter how nicely you ask, no matter how light hearted you are when asking, it gets tiring after a while hearing the same thing over and over. Especially since it's not "X weeks after", it's "hope you still remember our dilema today, even though we've been posting about it every day since the game came out".

Like I said, I really like the cupcake idea, I just don't think they should have strings attached. If we're going to do something positive, let's make it completely positive. Go ahead and include a note that says something to the effect that we want them to know that despite this one issue, we really love their work and appreciate what they've given us. That still says yes, we're still here, yes we still have issues with the ending, but it turns it into a positive message that we appreciate everything else about these games enough to go out of our way to thank them.

I know if it were me, and people were criticizing something that I'd worked hard on, I'd be really bummed right now. A (in my case gluten free) cupcake, and a heartfelt note of appreciation would go a long way towards lifitng my spirits.

YOU'RE NOT FELLATING BIOWARE HARD ENOUGH, GUYS!

Shit's hilarious mang. In a way though, it also blunts any criticism put by the retarded gaming "press" and non-hater biodrones that the hater drones are selfish, hate BioWare, or are entitled or something. Maybe we'll get more DEFENCE OF ARTISTIC INTEGRITY articles as a result.

Bros, I can't wait until PAX and BioWare's announcement regarding the endings there.

 

[Angthoron]

I hate that games have moved to emphasize the story as if that's the product itself, but if it is you do have to judge the story more. So it makes sense only a scifi fan should judge a scifi game, and it makes sense to blast them for blatant plagiarism. I don't know what else to call it. Simply changing the names around can't excuse this kind of thing.

It is plagiarism. They might want to call it "homage" or whatever else, but basically what they're doing is concept piracy. Ironic considering EA bitches so much about the FUCKING EVIL PIRATES.

Funniest of all is they chose something they couldn't get out of. The assassins are cool but without that interesting transhumanism "what is the meaning of intelligent life" message there's just no way for it to ever make any sense. They couldn't even really explain the choices or what they're about before getting into lawsuit territory.

Why do we want to bridge between organic and nonorganic life to reach out to these assassins reapers? Because, no lawsuit. Hmm, lawsuit. Oh crap, we're all gonna get fired! Well just give the choices anyway and we'll tell them they are too stupid to understand our genius when they complain.

EXTREEEME poetic justice.

Well in order to steal well, you need to be a good thief. BioWare isn't a good thief, they don't know what to steal and how to make it look natural, and THEN try to put it into their master story. This is why it's often easier to make up your own shit.

We are currently trying to organize the delivery of a mass of cupcakes to Bioware's studio in Edmonton. All the cupcakes will be divided into equal parts Red, Blue and Green colors... but they will all taste exactly the same. If you'd like to participate, please check out the thread below and let us know.

This coming week, we should send Bioware boxes upon boxes of a dozen cupcakes

. We are taking ideas as to what sort of notes we should have attached on each box. Some possibilities include:


- "No matter what color you choose, they all taste the same";
- "No matter what color you choose, it's all vanilla ;-D"
- "We rage because we love"

Most limp-dick protest since the "Impotents vs prejudice" march.

 

[DraQ]

Well, that's just it though - the players - and the consumers in general these days - are extremely culturally unaware, essentially for many Mass Effect is one of the only encounters with sci-fi they've so far had in their lives.

I recently had a conversation about this with a friend, who ended up admitting that she likes Mass Effect perhaps just because she doesn't know any better sci-fi, so I immediately brought up a list of good sci-fi to watch and read. Then she said but ah, I meant that in gaming form, there's not much sci-fi IN SPACE there, is there? So I had to pull up a list again, of maybe two dozen games from just the past decade or so - which had her extremely surprised and eventually irritated with the gaming press for never mentioning any of these titles. So yeah, I can actually understand why this is the case with a normal gamer - come home from work/school, fire up the game, have fun, never knowing there's better gameplay elements, better design, better plot or better everything. But here's where the gaming press commits a heinous sin. Instead of comparing against previous titles, or at least mentioning them, what you get is "judge on its own merit", which is just fucking wonderful because you turn it into either a shit-sling-fest or into a suck-a-dick-athon.

"But Ang", you might say, "Homeworld/Ground Control/I-War/System Shock is a strategy/sim/FPS game and Mass Effect is a TPS, they're different genres, why should you talk about different genres in a review?" Well fuck you, that's why. Maybe you'll find something you like better. Maybe cursing at a bunch of corvettes and frigates raping your mothership in the docking ports is infinitely more entertaining than beating off to your waifu in Mass Effect. JUST FUCKING MAYBE. Tastes evolve, motherfuckers.

Fucking gaming press, ignorant, sabotaging, slobbering bunch of retards.

There is a good reason for talking about different genres when discussing plots and their quality - same plot can be usually applied to a variety of different genres and plot's shortcomings remain shortcomings whether you're watching the story unfold from first person, behind-the-ass camera, cockpit of your starship or Fleet Command's tactical view.

One but:
SS2 is glorious survival horror, but sucks brutally hard as a piece of Sci-Fi.

No, I'm not speaking about psi, I can accept it as justified break from reality and a fucking cool thing. It's just that it has all kinds of derp in it, from miscellaneous fluff like description of nanites as "subatomic", through Citadel's grove somehow ending on Tau Ceti V mere 30 years after SS1 and 12 before SS2* (IIRC), the many somehow materializing huge ass organism around the Von Braun despite the mass of it being far larger than the available biomass of the entire crew, food, chimps, etc. on board, to cyberspace ending which was only moderately better than fagulous magic rays turning people into cyborgs.

And then there was the stinger, which was actually on par with those rays when it comes to derp quotient.

*) It would require the grove to not only be launched in the exactly right direction, but also travel at 0.4c (120,000 km/s) on average. That means it would have to be accelerated gently enough for it to not only not get vaporized due to sheer friction heat from getting deformed by excessive G force, but to also remain relatively intact ALONG with lifeforms on board, then decelerated equally gently in order for its contents (and the planet itself - hitting something at 0.4c with something suitably hefty - like a large piece of space station - tends to obliterate it, even if this something is a fucking planet) to survive the planetfall, meaning that the peak velocity would have to be much higher than 0.4c - was the grove fucking equipped with fucking Bussard's Ramjet?

It is plagiarism. They might want to call it "homage" or whatever else, but basically what they're doing is concept piracy. Ironic considering EA bitches so much about the FUCKING EVIL PIRATES.

"Homage" is when Frontier uses Blue Danube for docking scene. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery but sure as fuck ripping off entire plots is not a fucking homage.