Update Time!!
Part 4 – The Great Escape
Here’s where we left off:
Is it Birthday Party time again?!!
No. Today’s not your birthday.
How long until the next birthday party?
That was the only birthday party in the game. No more birthday parties.
This game sucks.
Hey, you two. Quit bickering and wake up.
Ugh. Why do I have to see your ugly face first thing when I wake up?
Shut up. Plus, it’s not like you’re gonna get any other girl around here.
Whatever… Why the hell did you wake me up?
Well, it’s a good thing your dad’s men didn’t think to check in our room.
What’s your point?
Wouldn’t this be the first place you’d search if you were looking for us? In our OWN FUCKING ROOM?
I guess they just weren’t [Intelligent] enough to realize that.
:facepalm:
Anyway, why they look for me? I do nothing wrong.
FACT: Jonas was the black guy, who also happened to be your dad’s assistant.
They’ll kick you and beat you and they’ll tell you it’s fair. So beat it… *sings*
Stop it. This is serious.
It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right. Just beat it…Just beat it… *starts dancing*
Just ignore him.
I’m just a little traumatized. I’ve never seen anyone killed before.
You’re not gonna start crying are you?
WTF? One second ago you were all acting all traumatized and stuff. And now you’re acting like it didn’t even affect you.
I don’t know. I guess I just got over it.
In two seconds?
I just repressed the memory. No big deal. I’m sure it won’t haunt me later in life or anything.
Dude, you have serious emotional issues.
Look, we can talk about that later. Right now, you need to get out of here before my daddy finds you.
You better run. You better leave while you can… just beat it…*still dancing and singing*
So, did your dad ever tell you why he left the vault?
Nope. Daddy Neeson never mentioned any of this to me. Complete surprise to me.
Really? I mean, isn’t it just a little weird that he’d just leave and abandon his only son without telling you what’s going on?
I told you: I don’t know what’s going on. Anyway, why’s your dad so mad anyway?
He’s really angry. He thinks this could jeopardize the safety and the integrity of the vault.
How? I mean, weren’t these vaults designed so that they could only be opened from the inside. It’s not like Daddy Neeson’s can sneak other people in here. It’s not like guys from the outside can attack us.
I don’t know. He’s just angry. Anyway, you need to hurry before daddy finds you.
GUN!!
Be careful with this thing. Only use it if you have to.
Whatever. Nobody stands in my way now.
aniacalLaugter:
FACT: She’s lying. This is a Bethesda game. Killing “the whole security force” is actually quite easy.
OK. I’ll try to meet you by the exit. Good luck.
But… before we head out, we search our room for anything useful. We find:
Baseball bat!!
Our old BB-gun!!
and some medical supplies!!
Anyway, we’re finally ready to leave our room and head for the exit.
Outside our room, we find this security guard. He’s being attacked by giant roaches.
After he kills the roaches, he attacks us.
He’s pretty easy to kill. Anyway, we loot his body and take his armor/helmet (which we immediately equip afterwards.)
Remember Butch? (He’s the dude who was a bully to us and our girlfriend.)
Dude, you used to be an asshole to me. I’m not helping you.
Fine... I’ll help your mom.
FACT: The mom isn’t trying to fight off the roaches or anything. She’s just sitting there.
Anyway, we kill the 3 roaches quite easily. Each roach only takes one swing of our bat to kill.
Wait. Why is there a giant roach infestation here?
Well... when Daddy Neeson left the Vault, all sorts of chaos started.
WTF does that have to do with giant roaches? Where the hell did they come from?
I don’t know. The game never really explained that.
Also, why is this even a big issue? These roaches are easy as shit to kill. One hit and they’re dead. WTF is everyone freaking out?
Whatever. Let’s just get our reward and get on with the game.
For saving his mommy, he gives us his jacket, which is a pretty useless item.
Anyway, we venture forth, killing some more giant roaches and security guards along the way:
I make this guy’s face explode by shooting him with an old pistol.
We finally find this guy:
Note how the Overseer’s character model hasn’t aged at all in the last 19 years (neither has Daddy Neeson for that matter)
FACT: Middle-aged guys don’t age.
FACT: Fallout 3 doesn’t give you the option to turn yourself in and end this peacefully.
Even if you select the last dialogue option and surrender, he’ll still attack you.
And… then he attacks us.
We kill him pretty easily.
We loot the body and take his “Terminal Password”. This will help us hack into his computer.
Why you kill daddy?
Umm… because he attacked me? I mean, he was a bit of a psycho.
Not only that. I killed him with his own gun that you stole and gave to me.
Dude, that was kind of mean.
Whatever. We don’t need her anymore. We’re getting outta here.
Anyway, we head over to the Overseer’s computer and use it to open his secret door.
This is the secret passage, which leads to…
The Vault Door. Dramatic music plays as the vault door opens.
As we step outside for the first time in our life, the sun is blinding.
But, after a few seconds, it returns to normal.
So, at this point, we gained enough xp to level up.
Level Up! Yay!
We have 20 skill points to allocate. The number of skill points you get depends on your intelligence stat.
I put 5 points each into lockpick, science, small guns and speech.
We also get to select a perk every time we level up. I picked this one.
At this point, I decided to look in our journal to figure out what we’re supposed to do next.
WTF?
What’s wrong?
How do we know we should “investigate the nearby town of Megaton”?
What’s wrong with knowing that?
This is the first time we’ve been outside the vault, right?
Yeah.
And we don’t know anything about the outside world, right?
Yeah.
Well, how the hell could we possibly know there’s a nearby town called Megaton?
I don’t know. I’ve never heard of that name in my life.
Then why the fuck did you write that down in your journal?
I don’t know... I think I saw it in my dreams. In my dream, we went to a town called Megaton.
:facepalm:
FACT: The quest compass in this game is identical to the one in Oblivion. It guides you directly to the specific spot on the map that you’re supposed to go to next.
So, not only do you know the name of this town we’ve never heard of… but you also know exactly where it is on the map?
Yeah, that was part of my dream as well.
:headdesk:
As we head towards the target, we come across this sign:
See? I told you it wasn’t bullshit. Megaton does exist.
I think you missed my point.
Well... maybe it was just a really big coincidence.
…
I’m going to stop here. I need some vodka.
Here’s a sneak peak of the next update: