Alpha Protocol sucks massive Multi-Headed Dick

[Angthoron]

it's unplayable.

Really now? You can't play it at all? All PC-reviews are fake then, eh?

That's not what "unplayable" means in terms of games. "Not even fucking running" would be the description.

 

[Grunker]

Unplayable doesn't mean 'not playable'? Well, you learn something new each day.

 

[circ]

News to me too.

 

[Deleted member 7219]

My copy arrived this morning, it's now 11:34, I've been installing since 10:45. I can't fucking believe how slow the installation is. It probably won't be done until 1:00 at this rate.

 

[circ]

My install took 10 mins or so with an Intel i5. And it completely drained every available resource the computer had. 10 mins might not seem like much, but it is to my memory the longest install I've ever experienced with modern computers.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Really now? You can't play it at all? All PC-reviews are fake then, eh?

It's no exaggeration. Mouse controls are fucked up beyond reasonable patience. It's a bad port for the Xbox 360's right analog stick (WASD supplanting the left one).

Then stop playing it with your fucking hands tied behind your back maybe.

Or in other words: stop the lies, start the truths - mouse controls are only fucked in minigames, but I suppose that doesn't stop you from hiperboling the issue to the stratosphere, eh?

 

[MetalCraze]

Awww gawd this Skyway prick was wrong about AP! It was going to be awesome and hours of gameplay video plus tons of previews & reviews didn't show the truth! Yeah the final game turned out to be completely diff- Oh wai-!

Dumbing down worse than that of Oblivion, horrible horrible combat, braindead AI, atrocious writing full on dating-sim bullshit and absolutely idiotic stealth with "hide-in-plain-sight". It's like ME mixed with MGS. Can you get more shittier than that?

 

[circ]

Really now? You can't play it at all? All PC-reviews are fake then, eh?

It's no exaggeration. Mouse controls are fucked up beyond reasonable patience. It's a bad port for the Xbox 360's right analog stick (WASD supplanting the left one).

Then stop playing it with your fucking hands tied behind your back maybe.

Or in other words: stop the lies, start the truths - mouse controls are only fucked in minigames, but I suppose that doesn't stop you from hiperboling the issue to the stratosphere, eh?

No, it's not just fucking minigames. Aiming with my pistol, the mouse is so unresponsive that it's like trying to paint in MS Paint. I can understand how it's weapon skill dependant, but this has nothing to do with weapon skill, the aim pointer moves like the screen consisted of invisible hex grids.

The easiest way to kill mobs was takedown or punching the shit out of them. How can I do that with no points in stealth or martial arts, but with points in pistol.

I'm going to have to agree on the RPG sentiment. Atleast ME 2, which I don't consider an RPG either, had mobs in hubs to talk to. Here even that is gone. How is this game bigger in file size too, when there aren't a million lines of voiced dialogue.

 

[TwinkieGorilla]

I can't believe someone's still defending this piece of crap after that gameplay video was posted. What are you going to say now? It is a good game because the stealth mechanics fail, the action mechanics fail, the puzzles and minigames fail, the so much theorized before open levels are not there, the setting is kind of stupid, it's really ugly, and the dialogue system fails but, hey, based on your choices you may get a diferent story progression and maybe some diferent maps on which every single gameplay mechanic can go and fail in new and original ways?

And, like, LOL at calling enemies getting stuck on scenery and similar bugs problems of little importance in a stealth game, a genre that depends almost completely on a combination of AI quality and patrol route design.

eh. yeah, i kinda hafta agree with this post.

 

[Grunker]

horrible horrible combat, braindead AI and stealth with "hide-in-plain-sight"?

Not to rain on your parade, but which part of the above isn't in Bloodines?

That's right, all of it is. And so far, the game has had nothing but praise for it's writing, so it's a pretty colored statement to say the writing sucks.

So yeah. If you hate Bloodlines, that's fine, but I fucking love it, which is why I don't really see the above being a game killer for me.

 

[MetalCraze]

horrible horrible combat, braindead AI and stealth with "hide-in-plain-sight"?

Not to rain on your parade, but which part of the above isn't in Bloodines?

Isn't it the thread about Alpha Protocol?

That's right, all of it is. And so far, the game has had nothing but praise for it's writing, so it's a pretty colored statement to say the writing sucks.

Bloodlines has a way better writing and characters than this shit. In AP it feels like they are right out from some anime (dual wielding emo girl boss? Some faggy-dressed faggot? A half-naked chick during the winter wielding big minigun with her muahaha retreat into the chopper?) And in Bloodlines Troika didn't force you to watch cutscenes for 10 minutes. As well as no dating sim bullshit. Bloodlines also had actual dialogues if we are to talk about them. Not a moronic "guess your response to what character will say" minigame. As for the stealth - it didn't have an "invisibility" spell and enemies certainly did see you running around in the perfectly lit room even with the imbalanced stealth ability. And animations. In VtmB they are close to perfection. In AP they are awful.
And let's not talk about all the retard-helpers of AP shall we? So comparing it to VtmB is like insulting the latter.
edit> oh and VtmB also had real skills and skill checks, not fag-minigames instead of them.

So yeah. If you hate Bloodlines, that's fine, but I fucking love it, which is why I don't really see the above being a game killer for me.

I don't hate the game. But it suffered from the "RPG dev tries to make an action game", yes, when it comes to the 'action' part. Except thanks to Troika it had redeeming qualities. But you also like many shitty games so there's nothing surprising.

 

[The Wizard]

Dumbing down worse than that of Oblivion

listen to me, you son of a bitch. there is nothing, and there never will be something more dumbed down and dissappointing as oblivion.

i wanted a cool alien jungle with roman legions, WHERE IS MY JUNGLE, TODD!? WHERE IS IT!?


not removing it from an inventor right now.

 

[MetalCraze]

Dumbing down worse than that of Oblivion

listen to me, you son of a bitch. there is nothing, and there never will be something more dumbed down and dissappointing as oblivion.

A next-genite trying too hard to get KKKs detected. Sorry Oblivion lost its crown of the most dumbed down game to Assassin's Creed and Alpha Protocol.

 

[Redshirt #42]

Bloodlines has a way better writing and characters than this shit. In AP it feels like they are right out from some anime (dual wielding emo girl boss? Some faggy-dressed faggot? A half-naked chick during the winter wielding big minigun with her muahaha retreat into the chopper?)

The game isn't actually forcing you to like those characters. In example, you can just execute the emo boss girl without even talking to her if you want to do so, just like the rest. You don't even have to meet some of them if you skip the mission they're in.

 

[Darth Roxor]

it didn't have an "invisibility" spell

lol

lol

lol

ohai thar, skyway

 

[Jim Cojones]

And in Bloodlines Troika didn't force you to watch cutscenes for 10 minutes.

Yes, they did. Not often but all the cut-scenes were forced and some were quite long.

As well as no dating sim bullshit.

Like you couldn't sex Janette, flirt with VV, collect posters of nude chicks...

didn't have an "invisibility" spell

Yes, it did have. Not for all the clans though.

enemies certainly did see you running around in the perfectly lit room even with the imbalanced stealth ability

Huh? Maybe in patched version. In the original game you could crouch right next to your enemy and he would run around you.

And animations. In VtmB they are close to perfection.

Facial animations? Yeah but they aren't too bad in AP either. Movement animations, on the other hand, were rather terrible, worse than AP.

 

[MetalCraze]

I'm not talking about liking/not liking the characters. I'm talking about Avellone failing so hard at something he was supposed to be master at. The design simply sucks and is childish and anime-ish. It's like Kojima was doing them.

 

[The Wizard]

Sorry Oblivion lost its crown of the most dumbed down game to Assassin's Creed and Alpha Protocol.

assassins creed was about six million times better than oblivion, if only because it at least had voice actors that tried(even when the director told them to talk like a retarded immigrant from the middle east) and a combat system that aimed not to be a buttenmashing retard fest. the graphics were also much better and the engine isn't a buggy whore.

so no, fuck you.

 

[Dny]

Ass creed is even more dumbed down crap than oblivion. It's the one game that has started the trend of having multi-purpose action button that does everything and includes the kitchen sink because they fear a complete UI interface would confuse the stupid.

 

[MetalCraze]

And in Bloodlines Troika didn't force you to watch cutscenes for 10 minutes.

Yes, they did. Not often but all the cut-scenes were forced and some were quite long.

Apart from the starting one other cutscenes were rare and short. Here they take place between each mission and even inside of them.

Like you couldn't sex Janette, flirt with VV, collect posters of nude chicks...

Yeah sure - giving an amulette to Janette instead of her "sister" = full dating-sim of AP through the whole game. Flirt with VV was 3 small dialogues that led nowhere and were far from
"oh Mike... you need not worry about me! You gotta save the world from the terrible conspiracy!
But I'm worrying about you! They will try to kill you! I want to protect you!
Oh Mike! *kiss*"
And then it goes on and on like in some teenage drama series.
Do you really want to compare it to VtmB?

Yes, it did have. Not for all the clans though.

OK. At least in my playthrough I never encountered it.

Huh? Maybe in patched version. In the original game you could crouch right next to your enemy and he would run around you.

Did you read what I wrote? -Running in the perfectly lit room- (note that lit and unlit places also mattered in VtmB even with the imbalanced higher stealth levels, about which you are talking - even at 10 at stealth enemies still saw you when you were crouching through a well lit area). As in running - making lots of noise. In AP AI doesn't give a shit even after his bro goes down 5 meters away from him. And this was done intentionally as it goes on there right from the beginning of the game, not when you already have 8+ in Stealth like in VtmB somewhere by the end.

Facial animations? Yeah but they aren't too bad in AP either.

Please. In AP most of the time only the mouth moves while characters look at each other with frozen faces. Troika had less time with their game and an engine that wasn't even finished yet VtmB has a better production quality (note that I'm talking about stuff besides bugs like design, animations, voice-acting, graphics, music/sound/ambient fx).

Movement animations, on the other hand, were rather terrible, worse than AP.

There can be nothing worse than the "sneak" animation of AP where it looks like Thorton was fucked in the ass for years in some jail. In Bloodlines even sneaking was done much better - like vampires were actually sneaking.

 

[The Wizard]

it's a bad action adventure game. same as oblivion, only oblivion tried to be an rpg. you know, like the other elder scroll games?

and what the hell do you want ubisoft to do? make players buy another controller for their xbox just so they can play their "awesome" game?

 

[MetalCraze]

Sorry Oblivion lost its crown of the most dumbed down game to Assassin's Creed and Alpha Protocol.

assassins creed was about six million times better than oblivion, if only because it at least had voice actors that tried(even when the director told them to talk like a retarded immigrant from the middle east)

So Oblivion was 6 mln times worse because it had worse voice-acting?

and a combat system that aimed not to be a buttenmashing retard fest.

I didn't know at what it was aimed but it is a buttonmashing retard fest. You just mash a single button and take down literally any amount of enemies. Because unlike in Oblivion when one of them attacks you other just stand and wait till you will kill him. Coupled with people not reacting at you killing them at all (even fucking guards will ignore you doing a massacre on the street - they will only react to you coming into their "radius") - whereas even in Oblivion bystanders were rushing to help - that's as retard-festy as you can get. Add to that neverending chasing of the quest compass in a very linear FedEx/kill'em-all quests - in Oblivion at least the world wasn't two streets moving past which will cause desync - aka game over. Same with killing people because instead of making good AI they decided just to restart the game to hide that. Falling from 3 level building takes less than half of a health bar and jumping from one building to another auto-aligns you to the best spot to jump to so you, god forbid, won't fall. All with a single button. In Oblivion dying wasn't uncommon and it didn't have the "desync" bullshit to stop you from going too "free", with all of its faults and all.

the graphics were also much better and the engine isn't a buggy whore.

Are you kidding me? A single colour "next-gen brown" mess is better than an actual colourful Oblivion how?
The only reason why AssCreed doesn't have many bugs is because it's a horrible railroad where any take on breaking the game through your actions immediately leads to "desync" bullshit.

so no, fuck you.

Keep trying harder with your "lololo Oblivionz"

 

[The Wizard]

So Oblivion was 6 mln times worse because it had worse voice-acting?

the reasons why oblivion is worse than ac should be obvious, and if you really think i will get into a serious argument with you, of all people, you really are retarded.

nwn 90% best game evar LOLOL!

 

[MetalCraze]

You won't get into an argument with me simply because you have no arguments apart from "you are dumb lololo", that is all.

 

[Grunker]

I normally don't mind debating with you, but in this case you're straight up wrong Skyway. Every bit of information you gave was completely similar to Bloodlines, as others have pointed out. Try again, mate.

If that's what it comes down to: Retarded action and clunky gameplay vs. great writing, innovative story-implementation and good characters, then I know I'll like the game.

The game-breaking part for me, is if both are shit, the game is obviously shit. I liked Bloodlines more for having the latter parts so right than I'd have liked it if the reverse was true.