2016 for Omniventures Inc. – a year in review
But first a message from our sponsors followed by the latest news:
Corbomint – it adds that T-N flair to your cooking!
And now for the news...
Channah Kravitz: The Office of the CEO and President of Omniventures, Quark Rosenberg, has launched a campaign aimed at informing citizens and shareholders of the importance of Internal Audit. New posters along with TV and web ads have appeared in OV business establishments, on the streets of Prosperia and other cities of Omniventures Island, tasked with raising awareness about the importance of Audit in corporate governance and business operations.
Channah Kravitz: As information leaks spread across the world, many of them tied to the activity of Communist saboteurs from rogue states like the League, Soviet Union and the Irkalla Collective, Mr. Rosenberg has decided that improving cooperation with the Auditors is vital to preserving market value. “Our know-how and technical expertise is what makes us the leading R&D and manufacturing company in this new T-N era.” The President and CEO has said. “We cannot let advanced designs like the Orbital Geological Sensor or Menorah NTR fall into the hands of rogue states which would no doubt use them against the free people and markets of the world.” He added when stressing the importance of audit. The Auditors are our friends indeed.
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Channah Kravitz: Soviet spacehips - are they really powered by NTRs? We had OV News reporter Joachim Ibrahimovic investigate.
Joachim Ibrahimovic: Greetings Channah, it is a pleasure to see you here from the Advanced Propulsion Labs of Deep Space Ventures. I’m here with Tutyahu Hirschbaum, the brilliant engineer behind the Menorah NTR engine. Mr. Hirschbaum will explain our viewers why Soviet spaceships may not be powered by NTRs as some believe.
Tutyahu Hirschbaum: We have good reasons to believe that the soviet ships are just light conventional ships with just a lot of engines attached. Other than the soviets never saying that they are powered by NTRs, our projections indicate that even a relatively slow, but still a lot faster than conventional, economical variant of the Menorah which is part of the nearly done Prospector-1, will be at least 40%, possibly 60% faster than the soviet ships launched so far.
Joachim Ibrahimovic: That’s a big difference, but could it be simply that the soviet NTR engine would be inefficient just like their entire economy is?
Tutyahu Hirschbaum: Yes Mr. Ibrahimovic, however there are other things to consider. The Prospector class is a long range Geological Survey Vessel, it carries a lot of fuel and will be capable of what the soviets have not done yet, freely exploring the outer planets including the Galilean Moons, Saturn, Uranus and even surveying trans-neptunian objects. Combined with the 62.5 EP economical commercial design it is thus at the low-end of what NTR technology is capable of. Thus it becomes clear that the communist engines are not NTR technology unless the communists opted for inefficient two-three engine clusters. Furthermore, as demonstrated by the efficient but still time-consuming construction of the Prospector-1 in the Frontier orbital shipyard, it is also clear that the soviets could not assemble such a fleet of NTR spacecraft so fast.
Joachim Ibrahimovic: So this means that Omniventures is indeed the only governmental and corporate entity that posses NTR technology and that soviets ships are short-range fuel-guzzling conventional craft?
Tutyahu Hirschbaum: Pretty much, only Omniventures fully utilizes the potential of Sorium Fuel in its menorah NTR engines. As always we are willing to share this key to the heavens with other free nations of Earth.
Channah Kravitz: In other news, the annual Lesbian Bisexual Gay Transsexual Queer Zoosexual and Necrosexual pride parade took place in Prosperia yesterday, many citizens and shareholders jumped at the occasion to learn more about sexual diversity first hand and at times with other body parts.
And now for 2016 - a year in review with Mr. Morden, spokesperson of Omniventures Inc.
Channah Kravitz: Another year another review. So I’ll start with the big issue first, Deep Space Ventures.
Mr. Morden: Ah yes the boomerang question as I like to call it. Now following the Menorah NTR tests done back in mid-2015 our engineers have been working tirelessly to build our first and indeed the world’s first truly T-N spacecraft, as you could hear a moment ago from Mr. Hirschbaum himself.
Channah Kravitz: When can we expect the launch? And what does DSV plan to do after launching the new GSV?
Mr. Morden: Fiscal year 2016 is probable. Our plans are far reaching and simple, the GSV will identify valuable T-N deposits hidden in the solar system. While the T-N geologists are busy with that DSV along with a dozen of other OV corporate initiatives will put in place pieces of the Space Economy. As you have heard some nations already built mass drivers and space ports. A bit prematurely in my opinion because they’ll be sitting doing nothing until those countries develop the necessary means of transporting infrastructure to other celestial bodies, I do not mean disrespect to some of those countries as they are among our close business partners, but our analysts and the board of directors found such a strategy sub-optimal.
Channah Kravitz: How does Omniventures plan on doing that.
Mr. Morden: Well, I am sure you already heard that DSV has started hiring a lot of construction workers lately and something is being built in orbit. That something is a vital piece of the Space Economy, the Enterpreneurship Commercial Shipyard, a venture which will allow any investor to order and have his own T-N NTR ship built. From interplanetary cruise liners through cargo freighters and colony ships Enterpreneurship will provide engineering solutions to the challenges of conducting business in Deep Space.
Its enormous capacity, indeed higher than any shipyard built before it, will allow for true economical exploitation of Deep Space by individual and institutional investors willing to venture into the New Frontier. Soon the lifeblood of the economy that is capital, labour and knowledge, will flow through the solar system, all thanks to Omniventures and the brilliant scientific and economical minds making it definite T-N Era Corporation.
Channah Kravitz: What about the rapid militarization of the League, it is well known that it’s military shipyard is indeed capable of producing large if not exactly top of the line warships.
Mr. Morden: We have nothing to worry about, even if the League’s belligerent military activity is a concern. The recently built Jericho bunker complex sports the latest in T-N armor, which protects both our troops and the Shoah-1 T-N NTR missiles stationed and launched from inside of it. I am sure the fanatics will reconsider any hostile action against the free world and Ombinevture in particular when faced with the threat of retaliation.
We are not defenseless against both ground or space-based attacks, our assets and market value are well protected by the Samson Power Armor wearing Aegis Corporate Security staff combined with the might of the Jericho and Shoah-1. Naturally though we are a peaceful nation unlike the rogue state mentioned, we will only use our military capacity when directly threatened as peaceful coexistence in an ethnically and sexually diverse but equal society is our goal right after allowing human entrepreneurship to flourish.
Channah Kravitz: That sounds reassuring. What about the recent PBC elections? How will that affect Omniventurian relations with the Commonwealth?
Mr. Morden: As soon as the situation clarifies we are looking forward to cooperating with the PBC in economical, scientific and diplomatic matters regardless what kind of coalition will emerge in the parliament.
Channah Kravitz: Last, before we finish I wanted to ask about something different. How long until I get my Sorium-powered flying car?
Mr. Morden: Well I don’t know the answer to that question. [he laughs] I think somebody in Omniventures or the Celestial Empire starts making those soon, those sorium-powered yachts made out of durianium are pretty magnificent. Nothing like eating some caviar sprinkled with Corbomint and sipping Champagne laced with uridium nano-crystals onboard one of those on the open seas. I can only begin to imagine how flying cars or other T-N VTOL craft would make the experience of traveling better. The flying yachts of the skies, perhaps even space worthy. Truly the future looks bright.
Channah Kravitz: Indeed it does Mr. Morden. That’s it for this year, thank you for joining us dear viewers. We’ll see you next year so I wish a happy and successful new year for both you and your businesses.
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