Baldur's Gate Baldur's Gate 3 Early Access Thread [GAME RELEASED, GO TO NEW THREAD]

[rusty_shackleford]

I hope not, I want the product to be as polished and filled with content as it can be, which requires time.

The EA isn't representative of the content actually finished.
Swen was blindsided by how many EA copies it sold, that's the main reason it saw actual content additions instead of just technical stuff.

Sounds like cope to me.

Might want to go check the updates DOS2 got during EA, champ.

 

[FriendlyMerchant]

I hope not, I want the product to be as polished and filled with content as it can be, which requires time.

The EA isn't representative of the content actually finished.
Swen was blindsided by how many EA copies it sold, that's the main reason it saw actual content additions instead of just technical stuff.

Sounds like cope to me.

Might want to go check the updated DOS2 got during EA, champ.

Might want to learn grammar, glowboy.

 

[Rinslin Merwind]

*Meanwhile at Larian Studious office*

Swen: Thanks everybody for attending our weekly meeting in Slack chat, how are y'all doin?

New designer: Wait, whats with American accent? Isn't you are Flemish?

Swen: Yes I am, yet my English is better than yours and next time address me with words "my liege", "your majesty","boss", "patron". I know, new members of the team need time to become accustomed to our traditions, but you already 3 month participate in meetings and should have known better.

Intern999: Boss, when I will be getting paid?

Swen: When you learn about speaking on meetings only on your turn. First - actual development team and only after some interns can ask a question. Another such offense and you are fired.

Senior programmer: My liege, forgive me for bringing this subject up, but when we will start to develop actual game? We created a fake demo for early access suckers, so they could suffer from bugs, while they living in fantasy about testing a game. Hell, we even pretending that we working on actual patches. But I don't think we can deceive public for long, we need start development at some point. I remember how your excellency told us to start development when BG3 thread on RPG Codex will reach 2000 pages, but I think even most professional shitposters need something to fuel their drive to write meaningless posts. Besides food/water and electricity, ofc. So I would suggest to start development much sooner.

Swen: Nah, we should follow our previous plan. If these losers will not provide enough posts before demise of our mortal bodies - we can always go with our plan B, which we discussed earlier. Tombs filled with treasures and development plans which could be found only with help of maps which also hidden around the world, hordes of treasure hunters competing for a prize to finish development of our game...Hell, it's could be more entertaining for participants than if we would develop actual game.

One of writers: Your majesty, forgive me for interrupting flow of your magnificent imagination, but why we meeting on weekend again if we not develop anything?

Swen: Wait, you mean today isn't Monday 31, January? Fuck, perhaps drinking so much Royal Dragon Vodka wasn't such good idea.

Swen: Well, since everything goes as we planned, I decided to conclude our today's meeting. Have wonderful next week everybody!

*Swen fixes golden ring on his thumb and platinum Jadeite necklace on his neck and kicks everyone from chat room*

 

[rusty_shackleford]

Swen is Flemish.

 

[Rinslin Merwind]

Swen is Flemish.

fixed

 

[FriendlyMerchant]

*Meanwhile at Larian Studious office*

Swen: Thanks everybody for attending our weekly meeting in Slack chat, how are y'all doin?

New designer: Wait, whats with American accent? Isn't you are Flemish?

Swen: Yes I am, yet my English is better than yours and next time address me with words "my liege", "your majesty","boss", "patron". I know, new members of the team need time to become accustomed to our traditions, but you already 3 month participate in meetings and should have known better.

Intern999: Boss, when I will be getting paid?

Swen: When you learn about speaking on meetings only on your turn. First - actual development team and only after some interns can ask a question. Another such offense and you are fired.

Senior programmer: My liege, forgive me for bringing this subject up, but when we will start to develop actual game? We created a fake demo for early access suckers, so they could suffer from bugs, while they living in fantasy about testing a game. Hell, we even pretending that we working on actual patches. But I don't think we can deceive public for long, we need start development at some point. I remember how your excellency told us to start development when BG3 thread on RPG Codex will reach 2000 pages, but I think even most professional shitposters need something to fuel their drive to write meaningless posts. Besides food/water and electricity, ofc. So I would suggest to start development much sooner.

Swen: Nah, we should follow our previous plan. If these losers will not provide enough posts before demise of our mortal bodies - we can always go with our plan B, which we discussed earlier. Tombs filled with treasures and development plans which could be found only with help of maps which also hidden around the world, hordes of treasure hunters competing for a prize to finish development of our game...Hell, it's could be more entertaining for participants than if we would develop actual game.

One of writers: Your majesty, forgive me for interrupting flow of your magnificent imagination, but why we meeting on weekend again if we not develop anything?

Swen: Wait, you mean today isn't Monday 31, January? Fuck, perhaps drinking so much Royal Dragon Vodka wasn't such good idea.

Swen: Well, since everything goes as we planned, I decided to conclude our today's meeting. Have wonderful next week everybody!

*Swen fixes golden ring on his thumb and platinum Jadeite necklace on his neck and kicks everyone from chat room*

I guess the part about them only being allowed to animate midget and child porn was scrubbed from the records eh?

 

[Nano]

 

[Child of Malkav]

This is awesome, are you kidding me? Dude, these responses, it's like their whole lives are just one big LARP ya know?

 

[Delterius]

snip

this is actually kind of impressive

i feel like sending inane reports just to see a dutchman's thought process in action

 

[mediocrepoet]

For what it's worth, seeing this exchange has already made me feel like my brain has been devoured.

 

[FriendlyMerchant]

I bet they didn't put in the mindflayer porn because they could put a cuckoldry spin on it.

 

[Ninjerk]

this is actually kind of impressive

i feel like sending inane reports just to see if a dutchman's thought process in action

beware staring too long into the dutchman, or whatever nietzche said

 

[underground nymph]

Speaking of perverts. Apparently mindflayers’ sex scenes are the only ones I would be interested to see in the game. But again there’s no hope sex scenes are going to be anything but a cringe soft porn parody, so whatever.

 

[Mud']

I would love it if they actually did it and it did a permanent drain on Intelligence.

 

[Fedora Master]

Time to post it again...

Spoiler

"Looking for brains in all the wrong places."

 

[Swen]

Time to post it again...

Spoiler

"Looking for brains in all the wrong places."

Such disgusting perversions will not be in BG3

 

[Brickfrog]

Do people like the gameplay and combat? Im waiting to buy until release because I want to be able to play through the entire game.

 

[underground nymph]

Do people like the gameplay and combat? Im waiting to buy until release because I want to be able to play through the entire game.

Gameplay and combat are extremely fun except for some controversial inclusions made by Larian combat-wise. Although they shown their willingness to negotiate, we are yet to see whether they will get rid of the rest of their homebrew.

 

[Tuco Benedicto Pacifico]

Do people like the gameplay and combat? Im waiting to buy until release because I want to be able to play through the entire game.

Frankly speaking? I think the core system they have at their hands is absolute gold, but it's constantly undermined by Larian's HIGHLY questionable deliberate design decisions.

 

[FriendlyMerchant]

Time to post it again...

Spoiler

"Looking for brains in all the wrong places."

Such disgusting perversions will not be in BG3

Yet there's still a thread about them making child porn on the Larian forums

 

[Brickfrog]

Yeah so what's the deal with those screenshots being passed around? Do we actually know if it's authentic? If some animator was making shit like that in private and on his own, that would make some sense at least. What doesn't make sense to me is the idea that a bunch of people up and down the production process would have given something like that the OK.

 

[Aarwolf]

Yet there's still a thread about them making child porn on the Larian forums

I'm nearly 40, but I must admit that in this very thread I witnessed the amount of disturbing shit equalled to no other corner of the net. It's an achievement in its own, I think.

 

[Fedora Master]

Do people like the gameplay and combat? Im waiting to buy until release because I want to be able to play through the entire game.

It's 5E, it's DnD for kids and brown people.

 

[Ninjerk]

Yet there's still a thread about them making child porn on the Larian forums

I'm nearly 40, but I must admit that in this very thread I witnessed the amount of disturbing shit equalled to no other corner of the net. It's an achievement in its own, I think.

We have such sights to show you

 

[Cryomancer]

Do people like the gameplay and combat? Im waiting to buy until release because I want to be able to play through the entire game.

I only enjoyed in the very beginning. When hour long goblin fights where nobody in your party dies, but the combat takes an eternity due the slow animation + ultra high hp values, I lost the interest. Feels worse than Oblivion at high levels. At least in Oblivion there are mods to multiply your damage and enemy damage at the same time.

Yet there's still a thread about them making child porn on the Larian forums

Is not merely a thread. Is a very long essay on it with dozens of custom made 3D models. I din't read that thread. Only a bit and already lost more sanity than seeing a Lovecraftian creature.