Baldur's Gate Baldur's Gate 3 RELEASE THREAD

[Lemming42]

Gobbos are gorgeous, they're not gonna spend any time with a big-nosed freakazoid gnome, especially not a pallid-looking Deep Gnome. My only regret in BG3 is that you can't recruit Sazza. She was hot stuff and also a fantastic character, just totally motivated by craven self-preservation in any and all circumstances. No pretense, no convoluted backstory, no quippy one-liners like most other characters, just absolute naked self-serving cowardice. You know where you stand with Sazza, she's the best.

 

[Shaki]

Gobbos are gorgeous, they're not gonna spend any time with a big-nosed freakazoid gnome, especially not a pallid-looking Deep Gnome. My only regret in BG3 is that you can't recruit Sazza. She was hot stuff and also a fantastic character, just totally motivated by craven self-preservation in any and all circumstances. No pretense, no convoluted backstory, no quippy one-liners like most other characters, just absolute naked self-serving cowardice. You know where you stand with Sazza, she's the best.

Making a simple companion without 100 pages long super snowflake backstory, is the worst sin in the eyes of the intended audience for this game (redditors)

 

[Mebrilia the Viera Queen]

Yeah, what's the first thing you would do after being imprisoned by father of your loved one, after you kill him mercilessly?
!!! Fuck !!!
And be very vocal about it

jaheira.docx

 

[dukeofwoodberry]

Yeah, what's the first thing you would do after being imprisoned by father of your loved one, after you kill him mercilessly?
!!! Fuck !!!
And be very vocal about it

jaheira.docx

Can you let me know if you have to be a big faggot to play D&D in the forgotten realms setting? Or at least your character has to be

 

[Lacrymas]

Only (specific) queers and actual autists enjoy modern FR.

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

Imagine being a gnome. All the other gnomes look like shit, ugliest race ever, but you also look terrible since you're a gnome too. What's the plan? Gnome women do look a bit better than gnome men, but not by much. All the sexy races like elves won't touch you with a bargepole. You might be one of those people who thinks Half-Orcs are hot as hell, but you're out of your mind if you think one of those big burly hunks or hunkesses is gonna touch your dinky little gnome junk.

The answer is that they get so full of hate that they become sociopaths. They hire human women as slaves, trophy wives or prostitutes.

But they don't love them. Love is something far from the heart of a gnome.

They view others as tools - disposable, useful - but also as objects of envy. They hate the greater races for having what they can never have - no matter how many potions or disguise spells they use to make themselves look taller or shorten their grotesquely long noses.

What could such a creature be capable of - living among the beings he hates, being given full access to their society and possessing great wealth?

I think we all know.

Spoiler

 

[Non-Edgy Gamer]

ftfy

 

[Lacrymas]

Ah, bereavement, the sexiest of a woman's states.

 

[Elttharion]

Imagine being a gnome. All the other gnomes look like shit, ugliest race ever, but you also look terrible since you're a gnome too. What's the plan? Gnome women do look a bit better than gnome men, but not by much. All the sexy races like elves won't touch you with a bargepole. You might be one of those people who thinks Half-Orcs are hot as hell, but you're out of your mind if you think one of those big burly hunks or hunkesses is gonna touch your dinky little gnome junk.

The answer is that they get so full of hate that they become sociopaths. They hire human women as slaves, trophy wives or prostitutes.

But they don't love them. Love is something far from the heart of a gnome.

They view others as tools - disposable, useful - but also as objects of envy. They hate the greater races for having what they can never have - no matter how many potions or disguise spells they use to make themselves look taller or shorten their grotesquely long noses.

What could such a creature be capable of - living among the beings he hates, being given full access to their society and possessing great wealth?

I think we all know.

Spoiler

This comment is a bit too on the nose

 

[raeven]

More like that today people are a bounch of crybabies. In past nobody cared about this stuff but today with ultra conservative lunatics and ultra liberal lunatics everything is in a sort of "Scandal culture".

If not bg3 depitcted the FR more in line in spirit with the oiriginal creator of them.

This reminds me of when I pointed out all the stuff that was "woke" in jagged alliance 2 in the JA3 thread because people were pre-emptively losing their minds over nothing.

It was like people have forgotten games had gay characters before 2010....

 

[Lacrymas]

Video games have had gay characters since the 1980s.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Video games have had gay characters since the 1980s.

Maybe, but said characters weren't such faggots about it.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Video games have had gay characters since the 1980s.

Having a gay character in a game is so 1980s.
Now we have entire gay species.
I'm still waiting for somebody to show me a gnomish heterosexual couple in the game.
Because there's like 7 gnome homo couples.

How do gnomes even breed? Do they have a secret gnome breeding island?

 

[Rhobar121]

Video games have had gay characters since the 1980s.

Having a gay character in a game is so 1980s.
Now we have entire gay species.
I'm still waiting for somebody to show me a gnomish heterosexual couple in the game.
Because there's like 7 gnome homo couples.

How do gnomes even breed? Do they have a secret gnome breeding island?

The fewer gnomes the better.

 

[processdaemon]

According to Dragon magazine (issue 131 if anyone wants to look up the article) deep gnomes do have a

canonically low birthrate

, but prior to BG3 I assumed that that was just relative to attrition due to living in the Underdark and not a result of them all being gay. God bless the apparently vanishingly rare heterosexual deep gnome females that must be working overtime to keep the species alive.

 

[Padzi]

 

[JustLooking]

I wish you could recruit Sazza the goblin from the 1 Act or one of those drunk kobolds. I think they went with only elfes/humans because who the fuck would like to fuck a goblin, yet alone a gnome... yuck. Yet there are many which banged the Emperor, so who knows. However there's a reason why tentacle porn is a thing and gnome porn isn't .

 

[Fedora Master]

Should've made Sazza the straightest companion. "Wuts dis den guvna? You wanna do whut ta me?? Dats disgusting, dat is, ya facken queer!"

"Homersexulalty is a SIN in the eyes of Maglubiyet!"

 

[Hagashager]

Video games have had gay characters since the 1980s.

Having a gay character in a game is so 1980s.
Now we have entire gay species.
I'm still waiting for somebody to show me a gnomish heterosexual couple in the game.
Because there's like 7 gnome homo couples.

How do gnomes even breed? Do they have a secret gnome breeding island?

They do it like the Samurai. Women are chattle: vulgar, ugly creatures to be used for procreation and nothing more. It's a duty to be fulfilled.

*Romance* is for your brother-in-arms. Only another man can know the struggle.

 

[Lemming42]

They could have had a whole mechanic for Sazza as a companion where, if the party starts losing a battle, she'll immediately switch over to the enemy side just to make sure she's on the winning team and save her own skin. Then if the player wins she'll just immediately rejoin your party like nothing happened.

Not even joking, I know she's only got like three scenes but she's one of my favourite characters in the game, she's fucking hilarious.

 

[raeven]

I wish you could recruit Sazza the goblin from the 1 Act or one of those drunk kobolds. I think they went with only elfes/humans because who the fuck would like to fuck a goblin, yet alone a gnome... yuck. Yet there are many which banged the Emperor, so who knows. However there's a reason why tentacle porn is a thing and gnome porn isn't .

I banged the emperor and to be honest it was a lot more interesting, conversation wise, than my relationship with shadowheart.

I don't understand the love for that character, honestly I find her to be the least interesting of all the companions. Even Wyll has more personality than her.

 

[Cat Headed Eagle]

I wish you could recruit Sazza the goblin from the 1 Act or one of those drunk kobolds. I think they went with only elfes/humans because who the fuck would like to fuck a goblin, yet alone a gnome... yuck. Yet there are many which banged the Emperor, so who knows. However there's a reason why tentacle porn is a thing and gnome porn isn't .

I banged the emperor and to be honest it was a lot more interesting, conversation wise, than my relationship with shadowheart.

I don't understand the love for that character, honestly I find her to be the least interesting of all the companions. Even Wyll has more personality than her.

goth girl who looks relatively normal inc omparison to the average look and feel of the rest of the companions. plus marketing pushes her hard

 

[Lacrymas]

It's because she's white.

 

[KeAShizuku]

Video games have had gay characters since the 1980s.

Maybe, but said characters weren't such faggots about it.

Since my brother is gay I've come into contact with the gay scene and I was surprised how normal most of them are.

 

[dukeofwoodberry]

I wish you could recruit Sazza the goblin from the 1 Act or one of those drunk kobolds. I think they went with only elfes/humans because who the fuck would like to fuck a goblin, yet alone a gnome... yuck. Yet there are many which banged the Emperor, so who knows. However there's a reason why tentacle porn is a thing and gnome porn isn't .

I banged the emperor and to be honest it was a lot more interesting, conversation wise, than my relationship with shadowheart.

I don't understand the love for that character, honestly I find her to be the least interesting of all the companions. Even Wyll has more personality than her.

Disgust

Shadowheart is generic elf girl waifu. That explains her personality. And she is at least feminine unlike froggy (who I still like) and Karlach (the roided up reddit tranny)