NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[Vorark]

Being a Metroid fan is suffering.

See what the new Samus Aran and Metroid amiibo can do in Metroid: Samus Returns!
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/News/2017...can-do-in-Metroid-Samus-Returns--1246282.html

Metroid: Samus Returns, a masterful reimagining of the 1992 Game Boy adventure Metroid II: Return of Samus, arrives on Nintendo 3DS family systems on September 15th. With the release date drawing near, we’ve managed to track down the new Samus Aran and Metroid amiibo (sold separately), which will both launch alongside the game, to find out what they can do!

Samus Aran amiibo

By tapping the Samus Aran amiibo, you can unlock an Aeion Reserve Tank, which automatically restores a certain amount of Aeion energy should you run out. After completing the game, you can tap this amiibo to unlock Metroid II Art in the Gallery.

Metroid amiibo

With the squidgy Metroid amiibo, you can tap it to reveal the location of any Metroid nearby on your map. After completing the game, you can use this amiibo to unlock Fusion mode, an all-new difficulty level that comes complete with Samus’ Fusion Suit from Metroid Fusion.

Metroid: Samus Returns is also compatible with the Samus and Zero Suit Samus amiibo from the Super Smash Bros. Collection. Check out the latest intel on what these amiibo can do below.

Samus amiibo

You can tap the Samus amiibo to unlock a Missile Reserve Tank, which replenishes your missile supply should you run out. You can also use this amiibo to unlock exclusive Concept Art from Metroid: Samus Returns in the Gallery upon completing the game.

Zero Suit Samus amiibo

If you tap the Zero Suit Samus amiibo, you can unlock an Energy Reserve Tank, which restores a certain amount of energy should you run out. After completing the game, you can use this amiibo to unlock Music in the Gallery, which lets you listen to BGMs from Metroid: Samus Returns.

Apparently you can only unlock this stuff if you buy the toys.

 

[The Decline]

Being a Metroid fan is suffering.

See what the new Samus Aran and Metroid amiibo can do in Metroid: Samus Returns!
http://www.nintendo.co.uk/News/2017...can-do-in-Metroid-Samus-Returns--1246282.html

Metroid: Samus Returns, a masterful reimagining of the 1992 Game Boy adventure Metroid II: Return of Samus, arrives on Nintendo 3DS family systems on September 15th. With the release date drawing near, we’ve managed to track down the new Samus Aran and Metroid amiibo (sold separately), which will both launch alongside the game, to find out what they can do!

Samus Aran amiibo

By tapping the Samus Aran amiibo, you can unlock an Aeion Reserve Tank, which automatically restores a certain amount of Aeion energy should you run out. After completing the game, you can tap this amiibo to unlock Metroid II Art in the Gallery.

Metroid amiibo

With the squidgy Metroid amiibo, you can tap it to reveal the location of any Metroid nearby on your map. After completing the game, you can use this amiibo to unlock Fusion mode, an all-new difficulty level that comes complete with Samus’ Fusion Suit from Metroid Fusion.

Metroid: Samus Returns is also compatible with the Samus and Zero Suit Samus amiibo from the Super Smash Bros. Collection. Check out the latest intel on what these amiibo can do below.

Samus amiibo

You can tap the Samus amiibo to unlock a Missile Reserve Tank, which replenishes your missile supply should you run out. You can also use this amiibo to unlock exclusive Concept Art from Metroid: Samus Returns in the Gallery upon completing the game.

Zero Suit Samus amiibo

If you tap the Zero Suit Samus amiibo, you can unlock an Energy Reserve Tank, which restores a certain amount of energy should you run out. After completing the game, you can use this amiibo to unlock Music in the Gallery, which lets you listen to BGMs from Metroid: Samus Returns.

Apparently you can only unlock this stuff if you buy the toys.

You could buy an N2 Elite. It's a little expensive (about $50), but you would be sticking it to Nintendo and have access to Amiibo only content on every game.

 

[Vorark]

You could buy an N2 Elite. It's a little expensive (about $50), but you would be sticking it to Nintendo and have access to Amiibo only content on every game.

Nah, won't spend a dime besides the game itself (if doesn't turn out to be garbage.) Still, thanks! Wasn't aware something like this existed.

 

[Abu Antar]

I heard the Chinese are good at cloning. I would have made a thread, but it seems that it is a China only release for now.

Chinese developer Darkstar Games announced a new PlayStation 4 game called Sinner during Sony Interactive Entertainment Japan Asia’s ChinaJoy 2017 press conference earlier this week.

Unfortunately, assets for the game were nearly impossible to find, and even Darkstar Games’ own website doesn’t work. But with ChinaJoy now opened to the public, first footage of the game has surfaced from Sony’s booth.

Sinner is essentially a Chinese-made Dark Souls. Even the title may have been inspired by the subtitle of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin. According to Inven, it is a high-quality title with very high difficulty. They died several times in their playthrough. When you die, a big red “You have been defeated” (or something along those lines) appears on the screen with the text “You are not yet ready” below it. Apparently, no one at the booth has been able to defeat the boss.

Currently, Sinner has only been confirmed for release in China.

Read more at http://gematsu.com/2017/07/first-gameplay-sinner-chinese-made-dark-souls-ps4#jCEKGvPUtOYgW8jd.99

 

[The Decline]

It does look like a cheap Chinese knock off.

 

[Mr. Pink]

 

[Executr]

Disastrous Pokemon Go Fest in Chicago left Niantic “horrified with the results”
Pokemon Go players weren’t the only ones who were “horrified”.

Even if you’re not a Pokemon Go player, I’m sure that by now, you’ve heard about the disastrous Pokemon Go fest in Chicago over the weekend.

The event was a big deal for Niantic. There was a livestream and Legendary pokemon were going to be announced. It was meant to be all sorts of fun, for young and old alike.

In reality, the game suffered a number of issues that weren’t just limited to the event. Niantic CEO John Hanke was met with booing when he took to the stage, and chants of “We Can’t Play” and “Fix the Game.”

For the most part, the hosts ignored the crowd’s boos, powering through as if it wasn’t happening. So what was Niantic thinking when all of this was going on.

Niantic has already comfirmed that attendees will have their tickets refunded, and be awarded $100 in pokecoins, as well as receiving Legendary pokemon Lugia.

“Just know that the staff here are pretty horrified with the results, so they want to make good as fast as possible,” the spokesperson said, adding that they were sorry, “especially for everyone who traveled international, East Coast, from all over. So this clearly was not what we were hoping for today. Thanks for your patience.”

Source: https://www.vg247.com/2017/07/24/di...cago-left-niantic-horrified-with-the-results/

Some follow-up:

Pokemon Go Fest attendees file class-action against Niantic

The issues Niantic Labs faced last weekend during Pokemon Go Fest aren’t over just yet.

A group of Pokemon Go players who attended Pokemon Go Fest in Chicago’s Grant Park have filed a class-action suit against Niantic Labs, hoping to recoup travel expenses.

The suit was filed by a person from California who traveled to Chicago for the event, and forced to stand in line for “several hours like most everybody else in order to get in,” and once inside, experienced connection issues, latency, and game crashes making the game unplayable.

Ninatic offered compensation by refunding everyone the admission price of $20, $100 worth of PokeCoins and the Legendary Pokemon Lugia. The company also extended the ability for all Pokemon Global Rewards unlocked during Pokemon Go Fest to be claimed.

That wasn’t enough for some, though, as “20 or 30” others have joined the class-action suit, according to Chicago-based attorney Thomas Zimmerman.

“[The client] paid to fly out for the festival,” Zimmerman told Polygon. “We’re not seeking any relief with respect to the failure to get legendary Pokemon, because Niantic is offering that, but Niantic is not offering to refund people’s travel expenses for coming to Chicago.

“Most of the people came from out of state, many people from other countries — I talked to someone who flew in from Japan.”

Zimmerman said the class-action suit is asking for money spent on travel to be recouped, as “promises” made by Niantic “were not kept.”

Source: https://www.vg247.com/2017/07/29/po...mpany-postpones-safari-zone-events-in-europe/

 

[Hoaxmetal]

but Niantic is not offering to refund people’s travel expenses for coming to Chicago

And they aren't obliged to and should not be made to do that. They refunded the tickets and the rest depends on their goodwill. Hope they don't win or else this sets up a stupid precedent.

 

[Abu Antar]

I heard the Chinese are good at cloning. I would have made a thread, but it seems that it is a China only release for now.

Chinese developer Darkstar Games announced a new PlayStation 4 game called Sinner during Sony Interactive Entertainment Japan Asia’s ChinaJoy 2017 press conference earlier this week.

Unfortunately, assets for the game were nearly impossible to find, and even Darkstar Games’ own website doesn’t work. But with ChinaJoy now opened to the public, first footage of the game has surfaced from Sony’s booth.

Sinner is essentially a Chinese-made Dark Souls. Even the title may have been inspired by the subtitle of Dark Souls II: Scholar of the First Sin. According to Inven, it is a high-quality title with very high difficulty. They died several times in their playthrough. When you die, a big red “You have been defeated” (or something along those lines) appears on the screen with the text “You are not yet ready” below it. Apparently, no one at the booth has been able to defeat the boss.

Currently, Sinner has only been confirmed for release in China.

Read more at http://gematsu.com/2017/07/first-gameplay-sinner-chinese-made-dark-souls-ps4#jCEKGvPUtOYgW8jd.99

This is now coming to the West. It was just a question of time before someone picked this up and tried to make some "Souls" dough.

 

[PrettyDeadman]

Souls circlejerk is the second worst thing which happened to nu-age of gaming after SJWs. The Decline of 00's seems like a joke compared to all this.

 

[hajro]

Imagine any popular shit nowadays being wanked around, souls would be one of the better choices. Imagine AAA wanking off bethesda

 

[fireoak]

At least Souls has made people accept difficulty again - 'git gud' is vs Awesome Button

 

[sullynathan]

Imagine AAA wanking off bethesda

already happening. Where do you think the modern AAA open world circle jerk comes from?

 

[Fedora Master]

At least Souls has made people accept difficulty again - 'git gud' is vs Awesome Button

At first, perhaps, but by the time DS3 came out everyone and their puppy dog could beat the game with enough help from Sunbros. Easy access to coop was a huge mistake for the series.

 

[PrettyDeadman]

Imagine any popular shit nowadays being wanked around, souls would be one of the better choices. Imagine AAA wanking off bethesda

Bethesda fans are intelligent enough not to call every game with stats elder-scrolls-like, which cannot be said aboust souls fans or even many game journalists.

 

[LESS T_T]

GabeN is public domain.

ALL CHARACTERS IN GAME ARE FICTIONAL, ANY COINCIDENCES WITH REAL PEOPLE ARE RANDOM.
The game concept is easy - just click Gabe and GET da cash!
Features:
-Gabe 24\7
-A quick way to collect lots of money
- Innovaitive and almost limitless gameplay
- Various backgrounds to choose
-Achievements

 

[torpid]

Gaben reached Steve Jobs status a while ago--the same kind of glamour cast by PR, except in fat nerd form. The personification of a corporate entity to make it more relatable and easier for fanboys to fap. More justifiable in Newell's case since Valve is a private company, but still a mask over the cogs beneath.

 

[Abu Antar]

Imagine AAA wanking off bethesda

already happening. Where do you think the modern AAA open world circle jerk comes from?

A lot of it is actually coming from Ubisoft games, believe it or not. Not saying that a lot of companies aren't trying to ape Bethesda, though.

 

[Taka-Haradin puolipeikko]

 

[Unkillable Cat]

For those wondering who the fuck Fork Parker is, he claims to be "Chief Financial Officer at @DevolverDigital."

 

[markec]

 

[Modron]

That is one precarious chopper landing.

 

[taxalot]

To think that if you didn't spend money on video games and VR helmets you could probably fuck bitches at a pool.

 

[torpid]

That is one precarious chopper landing.

It's great how the devs tried to pack as much as possible into a single view to the point where it makes no sense. Nothing says super rich guy like having to park your cars right next to the pool because of your small-ass yard. Helicopter on the roof but no detached garage--this guy has his priorities straight.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]