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NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

GrainWetski

Arcane
Joined
Oct 17, 2012
Messages
5,360
And you thought consoles were bad. Imagine how much they'll need to slow shooters down to keep it playable for retards poking shit on their Iphone.
Looks the same as your average cuntpad player to me.
 

PrettyDeadman

Guest
You know, it's a legit alt-history question.

"What kind of games would the Soviet Union and the WarPact countries managed to get out?"

Shit-tier graphics, because tech behind the curve. WW2 and Sci-Fi games, because it's all you can do. RPGs, 4x and TB strategy because it's the best genre for shit-tier slavic-autism games. The situation with an eventual Soviet Internet would require some hardcore alt-history set-up, but it's an amusing perspective.

The most Soviet game I've ever played was probably 1962: Cuban Missile Crisis The Aftermath.

611559843.jpg


I've seen legit Soviet movies with less enthusiastic presentation of the Union than this game.
Wow, that sounds like a giant INCLINE!
 

Dayyālu

Arcane
Joined
Jul 1, 2012
Messages
4,633
Location
Shaper Crypt
Wow, that sounds like a giant INCLINE!

Mere thought exercise. As comrade commissar Grimwulf likes to point out, the only good post-Soviet games are Ukrainian games (like Graviteam Tactics, probably the best "serious" RTS I've ever played). Good russian games are mostly the result of some crazy individual that strikes gold (Vanger, Perimeter, Pathologic, Space Rangers 2) and the others are fun to play just for the crazy. Soviet games would have probably been similar to their pop-kultur production: centralized and without proper control so mostly shit bar some crazy individuals that managed to get through despite everything.

So, exactly like russian games nowadays.

For example, Cuban Missile Crisis has the most awesome set-up: it's a post apocalyptic game where you get to fight in the ruins. You have that sweet early 60ies tech level (Pattons! T-55s! Frenchmen with resurrected Panthers!) and both a strategical layer and a tactical layer. Plus early helos. Fight in the gloom of snowy, radioactive cities as AK-armed conscripts try to repel the last desperate dregs of NATO forces! Maul hordes of Chinese shit tanks!

Then you get to the gameplay. It's a Blitzkrieg mod. Blitzkrieg was a fun autism game, despite having pretty much a single viable playstyle (arty spam) and a shitton of mechanics that had no use despite being there because slavic autism (fuel!).

1962 took the mechanics wholesale, causing hilarious results. Heavy Tanks (T10, M103) are unbeatable because Blitzkrieg had "rigid" penetration rules and so if you can get in you can't get in. Meaning a T-10 can cockblock an infinite number of smaller tanks and we don't even go into soviet wank like the Objekt 279 that can clean entire maps with the occasional reload. All infantry got autos, making infantry combat hilarious 10-seconds massacres. All infantry have HEAT RPGs with insane range making tanks the easiest prey of any infantryman that manages to pass by.

The expansion gives you ATGMs in a game system that gives you roughly a 50 mts sight range, and ATGMs have instant aquisition, despite being MCLOS can freely engage moving targets that hide behind cover by following them unerringly through half a map if they get spotted by something else.

It's the essential russian game: why the fuck I am having fun this is a piece of barely translated shit with wonky mechanics OHHH SHINY
 

Perkel

Arcane
Joined
Mar 28, 2014
Messages
16,259
Hey there mr. monster, why so angry ? Look here i will clean your shoes ! Look how nice i am.
 

Perkel

Arcane
Joined
Mar 28, 2014
Messages
16,259
adults playing games image

Maybe next time i shouldn't put 1900 as my date of birth when games and services ask me for my age. Because i fuck up people work and later they paste stuff like this.

I am willing to bet 50% of those 50% women were just dudes who chose women at character creation or service profile creation.

:positive:
 

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