NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[GrainWetski]

And you thought consoles were bad. Imagine how much they'll need to slow shooters down to keep it playable for retards poking shit on their Iphone.

Looks the same as your average cuntpad player to me.

 

[PrettyDeadman]

You know, it's a legit alt-history question.

"What kind of games would the Soviet Union and the WarPact countries managed to get out?"

Shit-tier graphics, because tech behind the curve. WW2 and Sci-Fi games, because it's all you can do. RPGs, 4x and TB strategy because it's the best genre for shit-tier slavic-autism games. The situation with an eventual Soviet Internet would require some hardcore alt-history set-up, but it's an amusing perspective.

The most Soviet game I've ever played was probably 1962: Cuban Missile Crisis The Aftermath.

I've seen legit Soviet movies with less enthusiastic presentation of the Union than this game.

Wow, that sounds like a giant INCLINE!

 

[Dayyālu]

Wow, that sounds like a giant INCLINE!

Mere thought exercise. As comrade commissar Grimwulf likes to point out, the only good post-Soviet games are Ukrainian games (like Graviteam Tactics, probably the best "serious" RTS I've ever played). Good russian games are mostly the result of some crazy individual that strikes gold (Vanger, Perimeter, Pathologic, Space Rangers 2) and the others are fun to play just for the crazy. Soviet games would have probably been similar to their pop-kultur production: centralized and without proper control so mostly shit bar some crazy individuals that managed to get through despite everything.

So, exactly like russian games nowadays.

For example, Cuban Missile Crisis has the most awesome set-up: it's a post apocalyptic game where you get to fight in the ruins. You have that sweet early 60ies tech level (Pattons! T-55s! Frenchmen with resurrected Panthers!) and both a strategical layer and a tactical layer. Plus early helos. Fight in the gloom of snowy, radioactive cities as AK-armed conscripts try to repel the last desperate dregs of NATO forces! Maul hordes of Chinese shit tanks!

Then you get to the gameplay. It's a Blitzkrieg mod. Blitzkrieg was a fun autism game, despite having pretty much a single viable playstyle (arty spam) and a shitton of mechanics that had no use despite being there because slavic autism (fuel!).

1962 took the mechanics wholesale, causing hilarious results. Heavy Tanks (T10, M103) are unbeatable because Blitzkrieg had "rigid" penetration rules and so if you can get in you can't get in. Meaning a T-10 can cockblock an infinite number of smaller tanks and we don't even go into soviet wank like the Objekt 279 that can clean entire maps with the occasional reload. All infantry got autos, making infantry combat hilarious 10-seconds massacres. All infantry have HEAT RPGs with insane range making tanks the easiest prey of any infantryman that manages to pass by.

The expansion gives you ATGMs in a game system that gives you roughly a 50 mts sight range, and ATGMs have instant aquisition, despite being MCLOS can freely engage moving targets that hide behind cover by following them unerringly through half a map if they get spotted by something else.

It's the essential russian game: why the fuck I am having fun this is a piece of barely translated shit with wonky mechanics OHHH SHINY

 

[Infinitron]

 

[StrongBelwas]

 

[Turtle-Zone 3000]

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

http://i.4cdn.org/v/1521314548903.webm

Remember Kratos, the guy who escaped from the hades twice? The same guy who killed Zeus among other greek gods? This is him now. Feel old yet?

 

[Viata]

http://i.4cdn.org/v/1521314548903.webm

Remember Kratos, the guy who escaped from the hades twice? The same guy who killed Zeus among other greek gods? This is him now. Feel old yet?

 

[Unkillable Cat]

Boss's name is "Death the merchant"?

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

http://i.4cdn.org/v/1521314548903.webm

Remember Kratos, the guy who escaped from the hades twice? The same guy who killed Zeus among other greek gods? This is him now. Feel old yet?

 

[Perkel]

Hey there mr. monster, why so angry ? Look here i will clean your shoes ! Look how nice i am.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

http://i.4cdn.org/v/1521314548903.webm

Last of Us 2 looks dope

Spoiler

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

Fucking braindead companions in TLOU, they cause a lot of funny situations because the enemies cannot detect them during stealth.

 

[Unkillable Cat]

This is a "rate this post 'autism'" training exercise:

 

[ERYFKRAD]

He's right though.

 

[Astral Rag]

Adults who play Minecraft should be send to reeducation camps.

 

[Astral Rag]

 

[HansDampf]

Solitaire is a video game.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Solitaire is a video game.

and a hardcore one at that too

you'd be surprised how many people fail at solitaire

 

[Don Peste]

 

[Average Manatee]

Solitaire is a video game.

and a hardcore one at that too

you'd be surprised how many people fail at solitaire

Solitaire will outright generate mathematically provably unwinnable starts. That's pretty hardcore.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Solitaire will outright generate mathematically provably unwinnable starts. That's pretty hardcore.

Depends. I think it isn't true for FreeCell.

 

[Max Stats]

Solitaire is a video game.

and a hardcore one at that too

you'd be surprised how many people fail at solitaire

It's all in the luck of the draw. Only other way to fail is just not understanding the game or not paying attention and missing valid plays.

 

[Astral Rag]

http://www.caltech.edu/news/you-dont-think-your-way-out-tiger-attack-81542

 

[Perkel]

adults playing games image

Maybe next time i shouldn't put 1900 as my date of birth when games and services ask me for my age. Because i fuck up people work and later they paste stuff like this.

I am willing to bet 50% of those 50% women were just dudes who chose women at character creation or service profile creation.