NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[H-K]

 

[Rivmusique]

You think this is bad? A while ago, the actual developers put these things in to games where you could do stuff like make yourself invincible or have unlimited ammo etc. with a certain input or "code", completely removing the challenge from their own games. What do these idiots think they're dealing with here? Toys?

 

[PulsatingBrain]

You think this is bad? A while ago, the actual developers put these things in to games where you could do stuff like make yourself invincible or have unlimited ammo etc. with a certain input or "code", completely removing the challenge from their own games. What do these idiots think they're dealing with here? Toys?

I don't know about you, but I used cheat codes after I'd completed a game to mess around. There's something distinctly pansy-like about removing enemies to make environments less aggressive.

 

[anus_pounder]

What game is this from?

 

[markec]

What game is this from?

 

[Perkel]

System Shock 1:

 

[Jaedar]

System Shock 1:

Shock 1 is a very good game, better than its sequel and there is a lot to learn from it.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

You think this is bad? A while ago, the actual developers put these things in to games where you could do stuff like make yourself invincible or have unlimited ammo etc. with a certain input or "code", completely removing the challenge from their own games. What do these idiots think they're dealing with here? Toys?

I don't know about you, but I used cheat codes after I'd completed a game to mess around. There's something distinctly pansy-like about removing enemies to make environments less aggressive.

It's the wording. "Stress-free experience". Nigga, it's a videogame.

 

[Infinitron]

OOF https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/...the-ill-fated-marriage-proposal-in-spider-man

Insomniac offers to patch out the ill-fated marriage proposal in Spider-Man
"The Easter egg is probably the saddest Easter egg in a game."

Insomniac Games has offered to patch out an in-game marriage proposal after discovering the relationship concerned broke down just a few weeks before Spider-Man's highly-anticipated release.

Tyler Schultz approached Insomniac back in May, asking if the developer could help him propose to his girlfriend "in a big way". Amazingly, Marvel agreed, and the words "Maddie, will you marry me?" are indeed included on a movie theatre marquee in the final game.

Image credit: Tyler Schultz

Sadly, it seems the proposal did not quite go to plan, though. According to a video blog by Schultz - which also gives instructions on where to find the sign - Schultz's girlfriend allegedly left him just a few weeks before the game was released.

The story doesn't end there, though. On hearing the sad tale, Insomniac art director Jacinda Chew conveyed her sympathies, and offered to change the sign in a future patch.

While it seems Schultz would indeed like to take Chew up on the offer, he was more taciturn this time around and hasn't publicly shared what it might entail. So watch that space, I guess... literally.

For more Spidey stuff - including information on where to locate some happier secrets - check out our Spider-Man guides.

 

[Infinitron]

Yaaaas



https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/...we-boll-someones-made-a-documentary-about-him

Remember Uwe Boll? Someone's made a documentary about him
"I don't have a lot of respect to other people."

Provocative German movie-maker Uwe Boll, infamous for trashy big-screen adaptations of video game franchises, is the subject of a new documentary titled Fuck You all: The Uwe Boll Story.

The documentary explores Boll's life and career through interviews with the people he's directed or affected and generally pissed off along the way, as well as interviews with the man himself - and he's lost none of his sparkle let me tell you.

Boll, now retired, has had a somewhat remarkable career. Despite falling out with actors and studios he found a way to independently produce film after film, adapting video game franchises such as Alone in the Dark, Far Cry, House of the Dead, Dungeon Siege, BloodRayne and Postal for the big screen. More remarkably still, Boll managed to attract star-grade talent to his side - actors like Ben Kingsley, Christian Slater, Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Michael Madsen, Ron Perlman, even Burt Reynolds. I wonder how many of them have framed posters of his films on their walls to remember their roles.

Uwe Boll is a man who doesn't mince his words and isn't shy to speak his mind. Ellie interviewed Uwe Boll for Eurogamer in 2006, a piece in which he dropped gems like, "Let's be realistic, what is House of the Dead? House of the Dead is a brainless shooter where you shoot zombies into pieces. So what are you expecting from the movie, Schindler's List?"

Yet for all his bluster and the turkeys he's produced, is there something to admire about his blinkered and forthright approach to getting things done?

The documentary is made by Canadian production company Prairie Coast Films, and has earned an official selection for the Whistler Film Festival later in the year. But for now there's only a trailer; when the full release will be, and how you'll be able to watch it, I don't yet know, though I'm trying to find out.

 

[rusty_shackleford]

OOF https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/...the-ill-fated-marriage-proposal-in-spider-man

Insomniac offers to patch out the ill-fated marriage proposal in Spider-Man
"The Easter egg is probably the saddest Easter egg in a game."

Insomniac Games has offered to patch out an in-game marriage proposal after discovering the relationship concerned broke down just a few weeks before Spider-Man's highly-anticipated release.

Tyler Schultz approached Insomniac back in May, asking if the developer could help him propose to his girlfriend "in a big way". Amazingly, Marvel agreed, and the words "Maddie, will you marry me?" are indeed included on a movie theatre marquee in the final game.

Image credit: Tyler Schultz

Sadly, it seems the proposal did not quite go to plan, though. According to a video blog by Schultz - which also gives instructions on where to find the sign - Schultz's girlfriend allegedly left him just a few weeks before the game was released.

The story doesn't end there, though. On hearing the sad tale, Insomniac art director Jacinda Chew conveyed her sympathies, and offered to change the sign in a future patch.

While it seems Schultz would indeed like to take Chew up on the offer, he was more taciturn this time around and hasn't publicly shared what it might entail. So watch that space, I guess... literally.

For more Spidey stuff - including information on where to locate some happier secrets - check out our Spider-Man guides.

The guy who did it didn't seem bummed out about it at all fyi. He actually seemed pretty happy that he got something in the game so I'd imagine he'd probably want to keep it that way.

 

[Ninja Destroyer]

 

[Mikeal]

 

[TheHeroOfTime]

 

[Lahey]

Uwe Boll doc

I was hoping for Boll sitting alone in a dark room chainsmoking while lamenting his choices and those of humanity like Ruppert in Collapse.

 

[Bocian]

 

[Abu Antar]

You have to be logged in and allow adult content on your account to see it.

 

[Clockwork Knight]

https://www.pcgamer.com/dr-disrespect-ends-stream-after-a-gunshot-hits-his-house//

Dr Disrespect ends stream after gunfire strikes his house, says family is safe


By Steven Messner 2 hours ago

The streamer says this is the second time in two days a gun has been fired at his house, police confirmed on scene.

Update (12 pm Pacific): PC Gamer has contacted local authorities and was able to confirm that a deputy has been dispatched to Beahm's residence and is still on site. Polygon reporter Julia Alexander ‏was also able to confirm that this is the second call from this same residence in as many days.

Original story: Popular Twitch streamer Guy "Dr Disrespect" Beahm ended his stream today after someone fired a gun at his home, breaking an upstairs window. At around 11 am Pacific, Beahm was playing the Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 battle royale beta when a loud noise is heard off camera. Without saying anything, Beahm walked off camera for a moment before returning without his usual wig and glasses to address his viewers.



"I've got to end the broadcast right now, someone shot at our house," Beahm says, looking noticeably shaken. "Broke the fucking upstairs window. This is the second shot, someone shot yesterday, at our fucking house and someone shot again right now, connected with the house, upstairs."

Embedded below are two Twitch clips that show most of what happened. The first clip shows Beahm playing Call of Duty when a loud noise can be heard off-screen that he immediately leaves to investigate. The second clip is of him returning to the stream to inform his audience of what happened.

Following his statement, Beahm immediately shutdown his stream but has since updated the subtitle to read "Doc and Family Are Safe. Proper Measures are be taken while stream is down for the day." Beahm lives with his wife and young daughter.

Details at this time are very limited but PC Gamer is investigating. We'll update this story with more information as it becomes available.

https://www.reddit.com/r/LivestreamFail/comments/9ezozv/docs_house_gets_shot_at/

Link with timestamp: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/308731821?t=03h36m20s

 

[Grotesque]

OOF https://www.eurogamer.net/articles/...the-ill-fated-marriage-proposal-in-spider-man

Insomniac offers to patch out the ill-fated marriage proposal in Spider-Man
"The Easter egg is probably the saddest Easter egg in a game."

Insomniac Games has offered to patch out an in-game marriage proposal after discovering the relationship concerned broke down just a few weeks before Spider-Man's highly-anticipated release.

Tyler Schultz approached Insomniac back in May, asking if the developer could help him propose to his girlfriend "in a big way". Amazingly, Marvel agreed, and the words "Maddie, will you marry me?" are indeed included on a movie theatre marquee in the final game.

Image credit: Tyler Schultz

Sadly, it seems the proposal did not quite go to plan, though. According to a video blog by Schultz - which also gives instructions on where to find the sign - Schultz's girlfriend allegedly left him just a few weeks before the game was released.

The story doesn't end there, though. On hearing the sad tale, Insomniac art director Jacinda Chew conveyed her sympathies, and offered to change the sign in a future patch.

While it seems Schultz would indeed like to take Chew up on the offer, he was more taciturn this time around and hasn't publicly shared what it might entail. So watch that space, I guess... literally.

For more Spidey stuff - including information on where to locate some happier secrets - check out our Spider-Man guides.

The guy who did it didn't seem bummed out about it at all fyi. He actually seemed pretty happy that he got something in the game so I'd imagine he'd probably want to keep it that way.

The guy who did it is a loser who thought this would be a great idea in a last ditch effort to save his relationship.
No wonder that bitch (that was only 15 when she moved with him in parent's basement) fucks his half-brother now when he's all day playing videogames.

 

[Santander02]

IRL skill check memes need to be a bigger thing

 

[aweigh]

 

[Perkel]

 

[Life of the Party]

NBA 2K19 Is A Nightmarish Vision Of Our Microtransaction-Stuffed Future

Let’s start with the good news: NBA 2K19 is not as egregious with its nickel-and-diming as NBA 2K18 was. But that being the good news is also what makes this the worst news.

Last year’s entry in what’s still the best basketball series (on the court at least) on the planet was heavily criticised by fans for the way it charged full retail price for admission then at almost every turn tried to bleed players for even more cash, not just for cosmetic stuff but for career progression as well.

It still sold well, of course, but the outrage was enough to convince 2K to walk back some of the more obscene parts of the game’s thirst for Virtual Currency (VC) in this year’s edition. Virtual Currency, or VC, is the lifeblood of NBA 2K19. It’s how almost everything in the game is obtained, from player stats to new sneakers. It can be earned in small amounts through gameplay, but 2K would really prefer if you just paid for large chunks of it with real cash.

In 2K19 haircuts are back to being free, players can earn more VC after games, and there are more opportunities to pick up extra currency through daily activities, all of which makes 2K19 feel like there’s a slightly smaller boot to your throat every time you hit a menu screen.

That’s nice, I guess. But the place 2K19 has been walked back to is still ghastly, and if this is the safe, happy place a series thinks it can retreat to in order to make amends with disgruntled fans, then hoo boy.

NBA 2K19 is constantly begging you to spend VC. You’re asked to spend VC on Gatorade for performance boosts, on vehicles to make progression around the plodding Neighbourhood mode quicker, on shoes, on clothes. It’s relentless, in your face the moment you turn the game on, and doesn’t leave you until the second you quit (quite literally, since GET VC is right there underneath QUIT).

The worst offender though, more than the trivial and cosmetic items that the game is littered with and which you could easily live without, continues to be the way your MyCareer progression is tied to VC spending. You don’t level up in 2K19 purely by playing, you buy your stat upgrades with VC, and because everybody starts MyCareer mode as a fledgling scrub, getting your jumpshot and passing skills off the ground floor is a priority.

Note: my review copy of the game was the fancy Anniversary Edition that came with 100,000 VC baked-in, so I could instantly bump my guy up to an overall rating of 75, which let me cruise through 2K19's lengthy prelude section against Chinese and G-League teams. This was also helpful because it let me get a better contract upon entering the NBA, and in 2K19 contracts determine how much VC you get after every win (a good contract can really add up over time).

If like most players you have the regular version of 2K19, though, get ready. Your player will be terrible, your opportunities limited, and the NBA will be a hellscape of missed shots and stripped balls until you can get your skills up.

It’s pay-to-win, basically. In a singleplayer game mode (though of course VC can also be spent on stuff for the multiplayer mode as well). And 2K’s solution to improving the day one experience is to say, hey, you can buy the more expensive Anniversary Edition of the game, or buy a stack of VC with real cash.

Or do things the hard way. In theory, and I know there will be very dedicated players who will argue this, you can avoid paying extra money by simply improving your player organically. VC is awarded in other ways, mostly through game performance, so it’s definitely possible to start from the bottom and work your way to the top purely through playing your way there, even if it takes months.

But the higher your stats get, the more VC improving them costs, so where it might initially only take a few games to move up a point, it can later take days or even weeks. And while loads of people are willing to do this, are we really even having this conversation right now? This kind of rationale is mobile game shit, the kind of odious formula work that you expect to see from something like Mobile Strike, not a major home console title.

Yet that’s exactly how 2K19 presents itself. Even after taking all that criticism last year, even after making a very clear “apology” for a barbershop miscalculation, the foundations of this series’ economy are still built atop a bedrock of utterly gross game design.

2K19 is like a free-to-play mobile game, a predatory experience where the game is always shaking you down for your lunch money, even after you’ve already given it £40. To play 2K19 is to be in a constant state of denial and refusal, always aware that in every aspect of the game, from the gyms to the stores to the action on the court itself, you can either spend VC or be told that you’re missing out on something.

It is not fun to be around.

And all of this is before I even get to the game’s overt use of advertising and sponsorship, which I know isn’t directly related to microtransactions, but is related to the overall sensation of “this game is gross to be around”. There is advertising across all sports games, it’s an inescapable part of the experience, if only because the actual sports these games are simulating are full of ads! But 2K goes way beyond anything EA does in FIFA or Madden, from its sponsored stores to the way brands are so integral to the singleplayer MyCareer experience.

I just don’t get it. There are plenty of other sports games on the market, some of them even outselling 2K, and they’re nowhere near as abrasive or offensive with their thirst for cash. FIFA and Madden make millions on digital card sales, but have quarantined that behind a game mode that anyone wanting to play singleplayer will never have to even see.

And so with FIFA, despite the series’ own problems, I still find myself looking forward to it each season, eager to see if the ball physics have been made more realistic, if player animation has become smoother, if crowds have become livelier. And because it’s almost entirely devoid of microtransaction panhandling, I’m really looking forward to the conclusion of FIFA’s excellent singleplayer story arc this year.

But with 2K, instead of approaching a new entry in the series with optimism, I now find myself dreading each new season, wondering what fresh new commercial hell I’m going to have to be subjected to just to play some games of basketball.

 

[Average Manatee]

"Anniversary edition" of a game that comes out every year?

 

[PulsatingBrain]

"Anniversary edition" of a game that comes out every year?

I'm guessing it's some sort of significant milestone year for the series. Like 20th year or something. Still bulllshit.