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NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

Needles

Scholar
Joined
Mar 19, 2007
Messages
118
racofer said:
abnaxus said:
ofaha.png


http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/topic/323/index/7551159/17
Fixed it for him:
If you want QTEs, shitty covershooter combat, consolized interface, meaningless skills, homosex, shitty cutscenes wait a little, ME 3 is coming.

Also if Diablo 3 is a 5 on the RPGness scale, Mass Effect is a 2.
 

Deleted member 7219

Guest
herostratus said:
http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/ht1d4/skyrim_looks_awesome/

[–]hitchstriker (_) [-1] 254 points 21 hours ago (306|55)
Bethesda? Doing animations right? SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY.

[–]oneofthelast (_) [-1] 170 points 22 hours ago (224|54)
I cried over the awesomeness. 300+ hours of game play, god damn. That is so fucking amazing.

[–]asugden (_) 157 points 22 hours ago (192|36)
I saw half of the video and I was gobsmacked while he was in a cave finding the way out, saying how water sometimes guides you out. Then he got outside and started fighting dragons...

[–]rhapsodicink (_) 73 points 22 hours ago (91|22)
My monitor is covered in jizz

[–]Foxprowl (_) 72 points 22 hours ago (83|13)
Dual-wielding spells. I...I'm so happy.

[–]qaid (_) 50 points 21 hours ago (59|8)
Oh my fuck. The biggest takeaway, for me, is that they've actually put effort into animations this time around!! The dragons actually look believable - I was really worried that they'd look terrible in action.

[–]rtam (_) 46 points 21 hours ago (58|12)
Todd Howard is a god. Skyrim is going to wreck everyone's shit.

[–]Deusincendia (_) 41 points 22 hours ago (47|8)
I can explain why I will buy that game in one word: DRAGON DRAGON DRAGON

[–]kylonthedl (_) 39 points 22 hours ago (49|9)
Wait, you can talk to Giants?
cool.

[–]terplox (_) 22 points 22 hours ago (27|5)
Better quality

[–]samred92 (_) 16 points 22 hours ago (19|3)
This made me happy after being let down by Microsoft's weak press conference. Looks fantastic, I simply can't wait (300 hours, FUCK YEAH)!

[–]rodut (_) [-1] 9 points 21 hours ago (12|2)
This, GW2 and BF3 are the only titles I am actually interested in. So far, PERFECT. I mean, DID YOU SEE THOSE MOTHERFUCKING DRAGONS? UNSCRIPTED.

[–]PaxtonTheMeek (_) 10 points 21 hours ago (14|4)
Just saying. It looks that good unmodded and on the 360.
It's going to be a good holiday season.

[–]kwikshot (_) 10 points 22 hours ago (12|2)
:') This is beautiful

Hahaha, I had a good laugh reading those comments.
 

Sceptic

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Mar 2, 2010
Messages
10,878
Divinity: Original Sin
The "kids these days" bit actually had me burst out laughing.

Kids these days indeed.
 

Radisshu

Prophet
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
5,623
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/ ... ngs?page=7

From the comments of Twatzee's Witcher review:

So this british knob couldn't even figure how to skip a perfectly skippable cut-scene and still wonders why he finds the game so hard. Reading the manual, you say? Sacré bleu!
Having to skip a cutscene every time you try a fight again is still bad design. Lack of a half decent tutorial is also bad design. A game has many, MANY valid ways to explain shit to you. A manual isn't one of them.
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
I didn't even touch the manual even once and just read the tutorial section of the in-game journal.

Retards just cannot into self-help.
 
Joined
May 6, 2009
Messages
1,876,636
Location
Glass Fields, Ruins of Old Iran
Yeah, most modern games already have the "instructions" part of manuals (the "flavor" part gets half a page*) inside the game, so even if you're scared of holding a booklet for more than twelve seconds you have no excuse. That quote still hurts my brian, though.


* the other half is taken by a funny picture
 

Andyman Messiah

Mr. Ed-ucated
Joined
Jan 27, 2004
Messages
9,933
Location
Narnia
Clearly they should have hired Cam Clarke or some other delightful british man to record some helpful tips on how to control Geralt.
 

Data4

Arcane
Joined
Sep 11, 2005
Messages
5,555
Location
Over there.
Clockwork Knight said:
That quote still hurts my brian, though.

Didn't know you swung that way, but hearing that the quote hurt your brian broke a nigga's heart. Hope he feels better, mang.
 

KalosKagathos

Learned
Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
1,988
Location
Russia
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/06 ... /#comments
Mordsung said:
I have no issue with Agent 47 getting some new skills that make him more deadly and situationally aware. I see it like the new Splinter Cell. A lot of people ragged on the new SC because Sam became so much quicker and more deadly, but come on… these guys have been doing their trade for over a decade and were already apparently “the best of the best” when their first games came out. They’re going to get better at what they do. They’re going to gain a sixth-sense about enemy movement, they’re going to get faster and better at hand to hand combat. Sam evolved from a house cat to a panther, 47 is doing the same thing.
 

Radisshu

Prophet
Joined
Jul 16, 2007
Messages
5,623
KalosKagathos said:
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/06/09/e3-2011-first-look-hitman-absolution/#comments
Mordsung said:
I have no issue with Agent 47 getting some new skills that make him more deadly and situationally aware. I see it like the new Splinter Cell. A lot of people ragged on the new SC because Sam became so much quicker and more deadly, but come on… these guys have been doing their trade for over a decade and were already apparently “the best of the best” when their first games came out. They’re going to get better at what they do. They’re going to gain a sixth-sense about enemy movement, they’re going to get faster and better at hand to hand combat. Sam evolved from a house cat to a panther, 47 is doing the same thing.

Yes, that's definitely what happens to people as they get older.
 

Fens

Ford of the Llies
Joined
Nov 3, 2009
Messages
1,899
Location
pitcairn
KalosKagathos said:
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/06/09/e3-2011-first-look-hitman-absolution/#comments
Mordsung said:
I have no issue with Agent 47 getting some new skills that make him more deadly and situationally aware. I see it like the new Splinter Cell. A lot of people ragged on the new SC because Sam became so much quicker and more deadly, but come on… these guys have been doing their trade for over a decade and were already apparently “the best of the best” when their first games came out. They’re going to get better at what they do. They’re going to gain a sixth-sense about enemy movement, they’re going to get faster and better at hand to hand combat. Sam evolved from a house cat to a panther, 47 is doing the same thing.
9LSPN.png
 
Joined
May 6, 2009
Messages
1,876,636
Location
Glass Fields, Ruins of Old Iran
Radisshu said:
Yes, that's definitely what happens to people as they get older.

They also get sexier.

136482-old-snake-with-solid-eye.jpg


There are some side-effects, though.

samfisherisanolddude580a.jpg


Data4 said:
Clockwork Knight said:
That quote still hurts my brian, though.

Didn't know you swung that way, but hearing that the quote hurt your brian broke a nigga's heart. Hope he feels better, mang.

Brian is my son, you decadent faggot. He's the legitimate fruit of my marriage with Lady Brosinia, sanctified by Pope Amole himself.
 

sgc_meltdown

Arcane
Joined
May 8, 2003
Messages
6,000
http://www.platformnation.com/2010/06/2 ... come-true/
What if Microsoft could ‘retrofit’ Kinect into previous titles. There are obvious ways to use motion control in FPS (reloading, grenade-tossing, commanding your squadmates, etc) and sports titles, but RPG’s might be a bit more difficult, although certainly not impossible.

My thoughts began to drift, not to Mass Effect 2, but to Dragon Age Origins. I began to see myself (or my character, rather) in the marketplace in Denerim during the final battle against the Darkspawn hordes firing arrows using the motions a normal archer would use. Simply firing off arrow after arrow wasn’t really getting the job done, but pulling the arrow back and focusing my aim worked like a charm. *THISKT!* Arrow right through their eye-socket. That’s one less to deal with. I run (in place) forward until I reach a cart that’s been turned over and kneel down to take cover behind it. Looking around for a few seconds, I notice a Hurlock Emissary (spellcaster) preparing a massive spell (which takes time, of course) so I sprint over to him, motioning to retrieve my double daggers from my back (swapping weapons), then proceed to slice and dice, interrupting his spell before it’s cast. In his now dazed form, he is vulnerable to my backstab attack. Another one kaput.

Never had a chance.

Obviously, you see where I’m going with this. Not only will this create an amazing experience, but it has the potential to be pretty decent exercise as well. While I don’t believe it will come about in this generation of consoles, I hope to see this happen while I still have the ability to use my body. Now I’m no Scott diMonda (love you, dude!), but I’m 30 now, so I’m not sure how much longer I can go and still be able to do things like that.

"Morrowind with Kinect"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKuqwVjy82g





kpk3G.jpg

http://kotaku.com/5809053/kinect-makes- ... /gallery/1
Frontier Developments is giving parents around the world an amazing gift this holiday season: The ability to take their children to Disneyland for the price of the Xbox 360, Kinect, and Kinect: Disneyland Adventures.

As a soon-to-be father, the idea of a virtual Disneyland where I do not need sunblock, wads of cash, and more patience than I could possibly muster is a very appealing one. Kinect: Disneyland Adventures packs the entire park onto one disc. Families can explore to their hearts' content, experience the attractions like never before, meet the characters without fear of getting groped, and basically enjoy the Disneyland experience without ever having to set foot in the place.

I approve wholeheartedly.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP8bqV92zl8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfPImWIPZ8o

childrens have it so good with technology these days


http://i.imgur.com/GQszt.jpg
 

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