NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

[GarfunkeL]

I actually just got this game for cheap on Amazon after getting into a Victorian phase (I've been reading a book on the scramble for Africa), and I just can't get into it. It's even more soulless than EU. One thing that makes Crusader Kings the best of the Paradox games (and makes EU Rome tolerable) is the existence of characters with rivals, allies, and characteristics, because even in more modern time periods, individuals can and do affect history, not mere "guiding spirits of the nation" or whatever it is that you are playing in EU and Victoria. For example, a rather history-altering figure like Henry VIII simply can't be represented well in EU III because it has no characters--just names with stats. EU (as well as HoI3 and Victoria, I deem) is more of a "see how well you can do as a nation given these circumstances" rather than a roleplaying game or a game of human emotions and reactions, and it's just not my style.

VICKY2 IZ NO ARRPEEGEE LAIK CRUSADER KINGS!

 

[anus_pounder]

Bioware should make crusader kings.

 

[Volourn]

http://forums.obsidian.net/index.php?sh ... try1130149 "I happened across a conversation thread from the Codex with Volourn, and those folks are just mean to him. It brought to mind the character of Simon in the Lord of the Flies (kid with glasses.) So now I feel sorry for him more than anything.

Fight the good fight Volo!"

 

[Crooked Bee]

That Obsidian forum thread is funny.

 

[Luzur]

 

[Roguey]

"http://forums.obsidian.net/index.php?showtopic=58193&pid=1130149&st=15&#entry1130149"

I've never posted on the RPGCodex forums, but according to them I'm:
1) David Gaider's alt. Or his wife/ho.
2) A biodrone
3) A ****
4) Some dude from Krakow with the handle Caliban.

They've also posted my e-mail address on their forum and signed me up for various spam.

All those Maria haters on the Codex are clearly jealous because she's had sex with more women than they ever have or will. And the law of averages dictates that at least a few of them would be considered attractive to heterosexual men (trying to avoid another Azrael the Cat rant on how gross lesbians truly are here). This is my favorite Caliban post, it's like a mission statement, her raison d'etre summarized in under 300 words. If she had a theme song it'd be Every Girl by Young Money. Keep hatin'.

 

[Jools]

"http://forums.obsidian.net/index.php?showtopic=58193&pid=1130149&st=15&#entry1130149"

I've never posted on the RPGCodex forums, but according to them I'm:
1) David Gaider's alt. Or his wife/ho.
2) A biodrone
3) A ****
4) Some dude from Krakow with the handle Caliban.

They've also posted my e-mail address on their forum and signed me up for various spam.

All those Maria haters on the Codex are clearly jealous because she's had sex with more women than they ever have or will. And the law of averages dictates that at least a few of them would be considered attractive to heterosexual men (trying to avoid another Azrael the Cat rant on how gross lesbians truly are here). This is my favorite Caliban post, it's like a mission statement, her raison d'etre summarized in under 300 words. If she had a theme song it'd be Every Girl by Young Money. Keep hatin'.

Fuck, I thought she'd only be a biowhore, but now she's moving onto the obsidian forums. 18 months and she'll be a regular here.

 

[racofer]

http://slickdeals.net/forums/showthread.php?p=36576327

The original poster wrote:

Mass Effect is a p. shitty game because of graphics suck and shit n blabblablabla....

Then, some guy wrote:

I'm not a big fan of the space/alien setting for video games either.

And the gem comes now:

Yep, I agree. Maybe sci-fi isn't his thing. It really isn't my thing either. The problem I find with a lot of these sci-fi games is that they club you continuously on the head with a lot of background info you don't really care about. Some of us simply want to jump in and play around when we have a chance, not invest a whole lot of time and energy figuring out and memorizing yet another fake universe and the whole fake history of that fake universe. Heck, many people aren't even that interested in the real universe and the real history of the real universe. If things happen over the course of the actual gameplay, then great. That's more natural. If they're going to lecture you or make you read pages and pages of text instead, then *snore*... Most people are just trying to buy a game, not a new religion. IMO, too many sci-fi and roleplaying games take that latter path, as if they feel they need to compete with the deep, complicated mythologies of Star Wars or Star Trek. Not everyone finds that appealing. This is a big reason why I generally don't like RPG's and their need to talk to every villager and have to ask them a billion stupid questions I don't really care about and blah blah. Keep it simple... Just let me know whose ass I'm supposed to kick next. Then shut up and get out of the way. Ok, the princess is in another castle? Fine. Just hurry up and point me in the next direction.

That said, I haven't gotten more than 20 minutes into Mass Effect 2, so I really can't judge it yet. It was really purchased for my kid, who liked the KOTOR series on the original Xbox, but she hasn't touched it at all thus far.

 

[deus101]

" It was really purchased for my kid, who liked the KOTOR series on the original Xbox, but she hasn't touched it at all thus far."

Maybe the Apple sometimes falls far from the trunk

 

[racofer]

Just remember this little bit about ME2 and thought I should post it in here for some reason.

At the Derelict Reaper mission, and a few other cutscenes, Shepard would show up wielding an assault rifle while I didn't even had an AR in my inventory. This was really fucking lame on Bioware's part.

 

[circ]

It's the same thing with all BW games with ingame movies. DA2 - kill big boss so and so, cut to cutscene where you doublestab big boss with daggerX and daggerY even though you've been wielding daggerZ's for ages. Even doing simple scripting for cutscenes is hard for these guys.

 

[Excidium]

Don't forget the cutscene dagger in DA:O.

 

[circ]

This

Jesus christ. Guess I know who the BioWare focus group is now.

 

[JarlFrank]

Heck, many people aren't even that interested in the real universe and the real history of the real universe.

Most people are ignorant and don't have any inclination to fix that. This is not an argument for making games simpler.

 

[Tycn]

Heck, many people aren't even that interested in the real universe and the real history of the real universe.

Most people are ignorant and don't have any inclination to fix that. This is not an argument for making games simpler.

Why not?

 

[Angthoron]

Heck, many people aren't even that interested in the real universe and the real history of the real universe.

Most people are ignorant and don't have any inclination to fix that. This is not an argument for making games simpler.

I dunno man. On the one hand, yeah, definitely, the world is complex and that should be reflected appropriately in the storylines.

On the other hand though, think of the "this film is awesome" sci-fi films with aliens: Alien, Predator, The Thing, those kinds of flicks. Do you know the alien's motivation? Is it a complex person with a deep sense of justice? Or is it a fucking mysterious killing machine that fucks everyone over and is barely contained/destroyed?

And then think of how Alien and Predator franchises got shafted when the film-makers decided they want to "deepen" the monsters and gave them a voice and a semblance of society. Yeah, it became more complex, but A) they made the monsters "too human" and B) They killed the mystery.

So yeah, in a way, I agree, a simple approach to sci-fi aliens can totally work wonders. Make a complex side of human affairs (like the W-U undertones in the Aliens films) and then make the monsters to be just fucking that, not every alien race needs to be explained to its utmost (and boring) detail.

 

[circ]

Ok those examples are really crap. There is no Hollywood plot to elaborate on backgrounds, the only thing that's there is employing mediocre writers. Aliens vs Predator and whatever else they came out with didn't suck because they suddenly gave motivations to the xenos, something they already had in the first place. The difference between mediocre, although frankly they have no redeeming qualities so I'll just substitute that with shit, and good writers like Dan O'Bannon is that Dan knew to stick to what he knows: dialogue and setting. Shit writers can't do either.

And, Predator was never a good movie in the first place. The only thing it had going for it was Arnold, muscles and gun porn.

 

[Angthoron]

Kay, give counter-examples then.

By the way, Predator certainly is a shit movie, with a 7.8 on IMDB.


Oh, and I'm not talking about the piece of shits that are the AvP movies, I'm talking about the pieces of shit that are Alien Resurrection and Predators. AvP is a whole different brand of fucking retard bullshit.

 

[JarlFrank]

Heck, many people aren't even that interested in the real universe and the real history of the real universe.

Most people are ignorant and don't have any inclination to fix that. This is not an argument for making games simpler.

Why not?

Because there are people who do enjoy games with deep lore (Morrowind is a good example for that) and why should games always cater to the retards?

 

[circ]

Kay, give counter-examples then.

Um, my whole reply was a counter-example?

By the way, Predator certainly is a shit movie, with a 7.8 on IMDB.

Ok... and this makes it a good movie? Maybe the voters really like Arnold, muscles or gun porn?

Oh, and I'm not talking about the piece of shits that are the AvP movies, I'm talking about the pieces of shit that are Alien Resurrection and Predators. AvP is a whole different brand of fucking retard bullshit.

Well yeah so was I, the whole franchise. I kind of liked AR though, unlike Alien 4. It's all downhill from the hybrid xeno though.

 

[Angthoron]

Kay, give counter-examples then.

Um, my whole reply was a counter-example?

As in, give some examples of good films with complex aliens, alien societies or otherwise well-presented non-humanoid aliens. Also, while O'Bannon wrote Alien, which is great, he also wrote AvP and Requiem, which are, in my opinion, shit. So it's not like having a certain writer will automatically make good stories and characters all the time.

Ok... and this makes it a good movie? Maybe the voters really like Arnold, muscles or gun porn?

Commando: 6.3. Gun Porn: Check, and on a way higher level than in Predator. Arnold: Check. So I don't think it's just about Arnold and gun porn here.

Well yeah so was I, the whole franchise. I kind of liked AR though, unlike Alien 4. It's all downhill from the hybrid xeno though.

You must mean Alien 3. Alien 4 IS Resurrection. A3 was based on a ton of retcons and plotholes so it's no wonder most people don't like it. I recall there's been a lot of issues with that film during production.



But yeah, undeniably, interesting, alien settings are great. Unfortunately it's very rare that anyone manages to make a marketable version of such a setting, and even if they do, someone comes along, fucks shit up, makes aliens "more like humans" and the setting more PG13. Same goes for computer games, unfortunately.

 

[circ]

As in, give some examples of good films with complex aliens, alien societies or otherwise well-presented non-humanoid aliens. Also, while O'Bannon wrote Alien, which is great, he also wrote AvP and Requiem, which are, in my opinion, shit. So it's not like having a certain writer will automatically make good stories and characters all the time.

I'm gonna play some CoH and try and try and get this elusive medal and don't want to start thinking so. Anyway, O'Bannon had nothing to do with Requiem and AvP, he made the original characters (Ripley, xeno), and that's why he gets credit. Ok, looks like IMdb has him credited as 'screen story' for AvP. I'm going to assume that still doesn't mean he was responsible for the shitty parts, as Paul WS Anderson knows a lot about shit.

Commando: 6.3. Gun Porn: Check, and on a way higher level than in Predator. Arnold: Check. So I don't think it's just about Arnold and gun porn here.

Well some people are morans. I'd rate Commando a lot higher than Predator. More interesting scenes, locations whatever. Predator is one guy humping around in a jungle for most of the movie. I'd imagine it's highly rated because 1. morans 2. pop culture hype 3. industry shills (franchise ongoing and all). Not because it's somehow better than Commando. Predator is a franchise still, don't think Commando's gone anywhere.

You must mean Alien 3. Alien 4 IS Resurrection. A3 was based on a ton of retcons and plotholes so it's no wonder most people don't like it. I recall there's been a lot of issues with that film during production.

Yeah I meant 3 sucked total ass. I just wikied everything they made. Resurrection has its moments, mainly because everyone can act and has character. They all fit well into the Alien universe, like the CM's from Aliens. I completely forgot about Requiem. Good god what a piece of shit that was. By comparison AvP is movie of the century.

 

[SerratedBiz]

Resurrection has its moments, mainly because everyone can act and has character.

 

[Sceptic]

By the way, Predator certainly is a shit movie, with a 7.8 on IMDB.

Oh please. And The Shawshank Redemption is the best movie ever made

 

[Angthoron]

By the way, Predator certainly is a shit movie, with a 7.8 on IMDB.

Oh please. And The Shawshank Redemption is the best movie ever made

No idea, haven't seen it. Predator was okay though. Commando was as well, though I certainly facepalmed more watching Commando - it's a very camp film and I'm sure that everyone involved in making it knew of that. That's not the point I was making anyway. Point is, simple alien threat/promise/contact works better than half-ass cheeze that writers tend to spit out. So yeah, I rather have a well-done, simple alien concept than the OSSUM ALIENS FROM Mass Effect universe or the likes that are usually half-assed at best.


Ah, and thanks for pointing that out, circ. It does credit him for AvP and Requiem, though Requiem is only characters. I guess since he's credited to be a comic book writer, it could be because of that.